Dating Fame
by SoaneLucy13
Summary: Being in a relationship with a famous person isn't easy. Bella Swan can tell. She's been together with Edward Cullen, renowned actor, musician and model for years. An insight in the life of an 'ordinary' young woman trying to live with fame.
1. Being Edward Cullen's girlfriend

**Update, 9th July 2011:  
As of now, this Dating Fame chapter has been edited and revised. Apart from grammar changes, substantial changes (might) have been made as well. I mostly enlarged the background story and went more into detail. If you want to know what exactly is different than before, just ask. The other DF chapters will be updated as well.**

**Beta'd by the amazing **_**With The What Now**_**.**

**New summary(since a month or so): **_**Being in a relationship with a famous person isn't easy. Bella Swan can tell. She's been together with Edward Cullen - renowned actor, musician and model - for years. An insight in the life of an 'ordinary' young woman trying to live with fame.**_

* * *

**Here's a new story! I started writing this like a month ago, and it's getting longer and longer. Don't worry, more is going to come. **

**Summary:**_** Bella Swan is a Yale student, and dating the infamous Edward Cullen, actor, musician and model, descendant of the just as famous Cullen family. Not easy to date such a person. Read how Bella copes.**_

**In the first chapters, there won't be many dialogues, as they will be kind of an introduction to the story and current situation, where they are now and such. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, except for Honor Rose Cullen and Maya Swan. They're all mine.**

**Hope you enjoy it, and please say what you think of it! Much appreciated!**

_~Chapter 1~  
*Being Edward Cullen's girlfriend*  
by SoaneLucy13_

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It's not easy to date a famous actor, or famous person in general.

I can tell you all about it. I'm dating the world-famous actor Edward Cullen.

I met Edward when I was 17, after I'd moved to Forks, Washington together with my little sister Maya; it was a small, small town in the north-west, and the last place I would have expected a family like Edward's to live, as I thought them more of a Beverly Hills, Upper East Side or gated community habitants.

That was just my first impression. When I got to know them better, I realized I'd been dead wrong.

Despite the fact he and his family were very wealthy and owned several properties across the globe, they were nothing but modest and humble and wary to attention.

By the time we met at Forks High – the only high school in town - Edward was already an established and quite famous actor, but I didn't make the link between the actor I'd seen in a few movies and the Adonis-like boy sitting next to me in Biology.

_Maya_ did, though, and as soon as she had done so, she went off in her ramble mode and told me all about him and his family. Where Maya was the movie type and knew everything about Hollywood, movies and the private lives of celebrities, I was the book type. It wasn't that Maya didn't read, but it was me who was the obsessive one of us two. I loved books, especially the classics.

Although Edward was a complete mystery to me and I barely knew him, I fell for him immediately. There was really no point in denying the fact I'd fallen for him. _Hard._

I tried. I damn well tried hard to push the annoying, fluttering butterflies away. They frightened me. The _depth_ of my feelings frightened me. Add to that that the boy I'd fallen for was a Hollywood actor, and I just couldn't fall in love with a Hollywood actor. I just couldn't.

My efforts were all useless, of course. It was already too late. I was in too deep, and now I'd felt what it was like to be head over heels in love with somebody, nothing or nobody else would be enough. Not anymore.

I kept my feelings to myself, as all he probably knew about me was my name and who my father was – the Chief of police Charlie Swan. We hardly spoke to each other outside our joined Biology class, but I couldn't help but throw a look at him once in a while from the other side of the cafeteria or parking lot.

But during Biology, we slowly fell in some sort of cadence, slipping into our own bubble of space. We always finished our practicals before anyone else in the class, which gave us plenty of time to talk before the teacher would call for everyone's attention again to continue class.

Edward and I would talk about everything and anything; our favorite books, movies, music (he was the most passionate music lover I'd ever met), places we had been to (I was finished in five minutes, he in forty-five), places where we wanted to go, our childhoods, our parents, siblings…

Although we were both juniors, he was a year older than me; because he had been busy filming a certain project a few years ago, which took more than an entire school year, he was now one year behind people his age.

While we got to know each other better, my feelings grew and grew. It wasn't just some unnamed fascination. It was _love_. And something, something in his eyes, his smile, his demeanor, told me he had feelings for me, too.

The first two weeks after I'd moved, I'd gone with my own truck, an old, beat up 1953 Chevy. One morning, though, Edward showed up in front of my house. Since that day, he would stand there every morning. Not only did he pick me up, he also brought me home. He'd even gone as far to propose picking up Maya from middle school as well.

During the moments we were together, Edward barely talked about being an actor. I figured it might be because he just wanted to live his life and not think about the pressure Hollywood could give off.

Sometimes, he wouldn't be at school. Away for filming, promotion work, modelling jobs or gatherings with his London-based band Vampire Heart. I always missed him.

Edward lived in an enormous villa some miles out of Forks, hidden in the woods and close to the Olympic Mountains. It was a beautiful and peaceful house and environment, with its light and bright spaces. I loved spending time there. Not only because of Edward and the house itself, but also because I'd grown close with his younger sister, Alice, too.

His parents, Carlisle and Esme, a doctor from London and an interior designer, were the most generous and nicest people I'd ever met. Besides Alice, Edward had an older brother by two years named Emmett, the joker of the family who looked like a bear, and another little sister, Honor Rose, the junior of the family who was the same age as Maya.

Alice's boyfriend, Jasper, and his sister Rosalie, whom Emmett was dating, were living with them, as well. Their mother had been Esme's best friend since early childhood, but died in a car crash together with her husband when Jazz and Rose were thirteen and eleven, and they were left without parents. It was a second strike of immense tragedy for the two children, as a year prior they already had had to say goodbye to their younger brother Bobby, who'd passed away from cancer at the age of eight.

Carlisle and Esme, who was godmother to Rosalie and both their guardians, didn't hesitate for a second and immediately took them under their wings, moving them in with their own children.

Edward once told me about the day Jasper and Rosalie arrived at the Cullen house, the day they would move in permanently. At the time, Edward and his family lived in London, England. Emmett and Alice had been super excited about the new family extension.

Emmett had always had a liking for Rosalie, which only increased after she moved in. Ever since the first moment Emmett noticed Rosalie that day, he wouldn't leave her side. Ever since that first moment, he protected her, keeping her close and in his eyesight.

Alice, on the other hand, had been intrigued by Jasper ever since she could remember.

Throughout the years, Rosalie and Emmett messed with each other. They would flirt and go out with other people, but also heavily flirted with one another. Rosalie knew how badly Emmett wanted to date her, but she was scared at first. The first years of her life had been rocky and because of her image, people often hurt her because they only were interested in her looks. She was quite the rebellion in her early teens and often provoked Emmett, just because he was the one closest to her, but he didn't give up on her, though, and ever since Rosalie's sixteenth birthday, they had been a couple.

Alice and Jasper were different. Jasper had a hard time coping with the new environment, a new country, a new family, the death of his parents and little brother. It took him quite some time to adjust to his new life and adoptive parents and siblings, but Alice was always there for him. She would simply take his hand or hug him, give him an ear to talk to, or took him with her on shopping trips or other outings. Little, ten-year-old Alice knew already then very well what she wanted.

Their bond grew and grew over the years, and they came to know each other's thoughts, moods and facial expressions like no other.

Jasper hadn't asked Alice to be his girl, they hadn't gone on a date to start their relationship. One evening, while they were just listening to music together on Alice's bed, they had simply turned to look in each other's eyes and smiled, Alice laying her head on his shoulder. From that moment on, they had been 'on'.

The Cullens moved _a lot_. Simply, because they liked it and loved adventure and new surroundings, but occasionally for the jobs of both Esme and Carlisle as the kids' as well.

All six of the children were models, among other things. Emmett played baseball on a high level. They all played baseball in their teens, but Emmett stood out and practised on national level; Jasper did several martial arts, as well as being a keen musician and photographer, also being busy with graphic designing; Rosalie worked on cars and painted; Alice danced, modern dance and ballet, and designed clothes; Edward was an actor and had his own band Vampire Heart; Honor was an actress.

Carlisle was a much acclaimed surgeon and got _many_ offers from all over the world, as well as Esme, who, although she worked at home as an interior designer, was very famous in her field activity.

Emmett was born in Boston, Edward and Alice in Chicago, and Honor Rose in New York City. Rosalie and Jasper were from Texas. When Honor was three, they moved to London, where they stayed for almost seven years, before moving back to the States and settling in Los Angeles.

One day, though, Esme felt tired of the busy cities and lives. She longed to the peace of a remote, small town, far away from all the glamour, phonies, dangerous and lethal temptations of Hollywood. Most of all, Esme wanted _peace_ for her kids and for herself and her husband. After some deliberation, they picked out Forks and made the move to the Olympic Peninsula not much later.

In Forks they could live their lives, without being seen as the model or the actor, and they had been living there for over two years when Maya and I came to town.

One Sunday afternoon, I was once again seated in the living room of the Cullens after having watched home videos out of the massive archive they held and Edward came to confession he'd never been in love before.

Something I found really hard to believe at first, since he was so beautiful and I was sure I wasn't the only who had noticed that. Many girls must have shown interest in him.

"Oh, they had. They had, but Edward didn't notice, or _pretended_ he didn't notice. At one point, I was certain he was just gay or wasn't able to fall in love, because while other boys his age acted upon their raging hormones, he just composed, played and listened to music like a monk. Until he met some chick on a movie set, whom he messed around with for a while, before he called it quits because she wanted more and he didn't. But then he met _you_, Bella. And bam! Gone was the brooding, torched up sullen Cullen of an Edward. He was happy, _Edward fucking Cullen_ was fucking _happy_. Apart from the moments he was analyzing everything you said and did, and was afraid you wouldn't like him as much as he liked you," Emmett explained, laughing, at which his younger brother shot him a dagger glare.

And it actually made sense, Edward not having been in love before. As a young, breathtakingly gorgeous and most of all _famous_ multi-talented person, he often had to deal with girls who were only interested in him because of his resume and looks. He didn't have much of trust, and so strangers and outsiders were often ignored. On the set of his films, he was often too occupied to fall in love. Or as he put it "They all weren't you. I was simply waiting for you."

_That_ was what I couldn't get my head around. That someone so beautiful, both inside and outside, could fall in love with _me_. _Me_, an ordinary, plain girl. _He_, a… no words were good enough to describe him.

But he had. And as unbelievable as I still found it, I wasn't the one to complain about the feelings he made me feel, about the care and love he had for me.

On my 18th birthday, six months after we got together, while in the midst of my birthday party thrown by crazy Alice, Edward got a call. Turned out he'd gotten the part he'd been talking about all summer. It was like a dream come true.

The down side, though, was that shooting would start earlier. Instead of starting production at the beginning of next summer, they would start in just a few weeks, with the majority of scenes to be filmed in London. London, _England_. Filming would take up to six months.

The six months we were away from each other were gut-wrenchingly awful, but it was a good practice. With Thanksgiving, he came over to celebrate it with both his family and mine; with Christmas, I accompanied the Cullens to London; on Valentine's Day, we kept in touch nearly all day.

It was _hell_, not being able to see him whenever I felt like it, but the knowledge he would be back at my side in just a few months made it easier. A little.

We survived, though. We survived those six months, and came out much stronger, much closer.

At the end of the year, we graduated. I went away for university; I'd gotten into Yale. Edward followed and enrolled into Yale School of Drama. For me.

Not that Yale wasn't what he wanted, but he could have gone to any university in the US and UK (he, as well as Emmett, Alice and Honor Rose, had dual citizenship, both American and British) that he wanted. He could have gone to LA, to focus on making movies only. Edward, stubborn and determined that he was, wanted to stay close to me, though.

Throughout our first year in New Haven, he gained more popularity than he had before thanks to a movie he played in that came out during that time, a film in which he also sang and contributed songs to the soundtrack.

The film did very good in several indie festivals and gathered very good reviews not only nationwide, but also on an international scale.

Thanks to his very mature portrayal of a traumatized young poet, people no longer saw him as just a child star or Hollywood starlet. He'd officially outgrown this tag and was now one of the most promising stars in the film business.

Edward appeared on many tabloid covers, and was asked for hundreds of shows, interviews and photo shoots.

From the start, being Edward Cullen's girlfriend had been different than if I would have been dating some jock on the soccer team – Edward was also on the soccer team, but that put aside, Edward wasn't like any other boy at school. If I would accompany him to premieres or gigs, he was of much interest to the gathered crowd and photographers. Sometimes, when out and about town in cities like New York, London or Los Angeles he got recognized, but it wasn't like I was dating a superstar like Brad Pitt.

Until… his popularity took on an immense, roof-hitting increase and he suddenly became the next big thing.

I'd seen and heard a lot about how it was to be together with a Hollywood star. I knew I absolutely didn't want to be _that_ kind of girl.

I just wanted to be Bella Swan, English literature student, with minors in writing, music and history. Not the girlfriend of. I just wanted to live my life.

Mostly, though, I didn't want to be followed by the creepy people called paparazzi.

_Hell no._

I was very honest about that with Edward.

He should do whatever he wanted and saw fit; do every show or every photo shoot, every interview he wanted, if he would just try to keep me out of the spotlight as much as possible and wouldn't draw to much intention to the person behind the image of Edward Cullen's girlfriend.

Of course, keeping me in the dark as much as possible didn't mean he should deny he had a girlfriend, because I wanted everyone to know _my_ man was _OFF_ the market. He could mention me on talkshows, mention stuff we'd done together, just no personal information like full names.

I'd feared a little for his reaction, because I knew Edward was quite the possessive and proud person, and probably would want to tote me around and show everyone who made him so happy and that we were together, but luckily he completely got me.

On one hand, I didn't want to be in the spotlight, but on the other hand I didn't want to be invisible, either. I couldn't be.

Edward wanted only _me_ as his date to premieres or award shows. I accompanied him as much as my school-work would allow me, but we never walked the red carpet together.

When I couldn't come, he often took Esme or Honor with him, but I knew that if it was up to him, he would have had _me_ at his side at all times. Just seeing me in the audience, knowing I was close by and just there for him and him only, gave him a feeling of support and reassurance and strength. It gave him courage. He _needed_ me.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, Edward Cullen knew how to make a woman melt and swoon in a nano-second. I could assure you that, experienced first hand.

Some people might say I was being a coward, for not coming out in the public with Edward, but I just wasn't ready for the whole circus, yet.

I mean, school was already taking up a lot of my time and energy, and I couldn't afford failing my classes.

Although we didn't go public with our relationship and Edward's rep gave off no official statement directing to me being his girlfriend, we didn't hide, either. If we felt like going out, we did so.

Paparazzi weren't my friends, and I despised them, but the worst for me personally were Edward's co-stars. To be more specific, his _female_ co-stars.

Everyone was fond of my boyfriend, and I got that, completely. I couldn't say I liked it, though.

I wasn't the one to be all jealous and the big-green-eyed monster.

With one _BIG_ exception.

Women and my boyfriend.

It didn't help I was quite insecure and still couldn't fathom why on earth _Edward Cullen_, _the_ Edward Cullen, had fallen in love with me. Add up, he often had romantic scenes with the most beautiful women around.

I always visited him on set, and would casually ask him about his co-stars. Just to be sure.

Of course, he would always see right through me. One, I was a bad liar; one and a half, I was an open book; two, Edward knew me like no other. Sometimes, he even knew me better than I knew myself.

He would silence my insecurities by saying I was the one, his only love, the only one who had ever touched his heart. Not only would he silence me with his romantic words, but he would show me, too.

Edward became friends with some of his co-stars, both male and female, but to women who tried to seduce him, he always remained oblivious or acted very cold. If _I_ tried to seduce him, though, my favorite, breathtaking crooked smile would appear on his face and his emerald green eyes would darken from lust.

Tabloids were a different sport. Not cool, as well.

Reading those headlines saying such things as_ 'Edward Cullen in love with co-star' _or seeing photo-shopped pictures as 'proof'…I tried not to let it influence my life, as it was all the same shit of rubbish and lies.

Besides, I trusted my boyfriend. I knew I didn't need to worry about him going behind my back or cheating on me.

Sometimes, while I was just living my 'normal' life – such as going to college, having dinner with friends or visiting my mom and dad – I would get the urge to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs so the entire world would know: "I'm dating Edward Cullen! _I_'m the mysterious girl! I'm freaking _dating_ Edward Cullen! I fuck Edward Cullen!"

I always backed out before I did so; I knew very well what would happen if I did scream it to the world. I would be chased by whole crowds of annoying, creepy paparazzi now they would know who I was and my location.

Stories would be made up about me. _Untrue_ stories.

My whole life would be turned upside down, hold under a loop. They would dig for interesting material they could use for entertainment purposes. And not only _my_ life would be looked at, but also that from my parents, my sister, my friends. They would all be pulled into the circus, as well.

_I_ could survive it, _I_ could handle it. At least as long as Edward would be at my side and would have my back.

But I would _never_, _ever_ do that to my family. I knew how much my dad loved his privacy, how much he disliked attention. It made him nervous. Besides, he already had it tough enough with his oldest daughter already being half in the spotlight; although my mom wouldn't mind a bit of attention and digging, she wouldn't be a fan of the tabloids and paparazzi as well; Maya, she would freak out, probably. She was just nineteen and even more shy than I was, and well, I, as her big sister, couldn't do that to my baby sister.

My life was mine. I didn't want to share it with the whole world. I already had to share Edward,_ my boyfriend_, _my_ Edward, with everyone and anyone in some ways, as it sometimes felt for me.

Life could be so hard and complicated at times.

**This was the first chapter. Please, please say what you think about it! **

**I just started writing this story, without making chapters, so I just cut it here.**

**Sun, BFF's and Love: it might take a while. My test week starts next Wednesday, till October 16th, after which I'll have an one week break and will have FULL time. I might even publish earlier. I promise you, next chapter will be up before the end of October, Meanwhile, I will post material of new stories, of which I have already written quite some chapters.**

**music: see my favorites on my profile.**

**xxx **

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**Update 9th July 2011:  
The start of Emmett & Rosalie and Jasper & Alice relationships and a detailed version of how Edward & Bella met and fell in love with one another will probably be put in outtakes, which will be published once the principal story is over.**

**Play-list:  
Gypsy & The Cat – Gilgamesh (the entire record)  
The Naked and Famous – Passive Me, Aggressive You  
Bon Iver – Calgary**


	2. Maya's big twenty

**UPDATE 9th JUly 2011:  
As of now, this Dating Fame chapter has been edited and revised. Apart from grammar changes, substantive changes (might) have been made as well. I enlarged the background story and went more into detail. If you want to know what exactly is different than before, just ask.**

**Beta'd by the amazing **_**With The What Now**_**.**

* * *

**Here's the next one. Hope you enjoy. I've a ton of pages to type out, which takes quite long. **

**The events in this chapter all take place on the 1****st**** of August, which is Maya's birthday. Maya is Bella's younger sister by two years and eleven months, that you know.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all, except the things/persons not mentioned in the books or by herself.**

_~Chapter 2~  
*Maya's big twenty*  
by SoaneLucy13_

* * *

Today was my little sister's, Maya, twentieth birthday.

She'd come over to New York a week ago and for her big day, we'd booked a suite at the Waldorf Astoria in NYC. Or rather, the _Cullens_ had, as a pre-present for Maya.

My mom, Renee, and her husband Phil, along with his two kids Jared and Billie Jean and their shared son Bruce, "Brucie" had flown in from Florida the previous day. My dad Charlie had arrived yesterday as well, all to celebrate Maya's big twenty.

Twenty-one would be more of a milestone of course, but twenty was just…twenty. Two times two hands.

As I took her on a stroll through downtown New York, Maya was all sparks and beaming. New York was so different from what she was used to. She'd grown up in the heat of Arizona and the mushy green of Washington, and was now attending college in LA. It wasn't her first time in the Big Apple, but it was a more special occasion than times before.

We'd set up a huge surprise party for her. Alice had made her some exclusive outfits and we'd all paid together for furniture for her student apartment and a Mini Cooper.

Maya knew _something_ was going on, as she'd noticed our parents were in town as well, but she didn't know _what_ exactly.

I'd to hold back my laughter as she was muttering under her breath the entire walk back to the Waldorf. I knew how much Maya hated surprises, something she shared with both me and our dad.

While _she_ was dying to know what was going on, _I_ was dying to see Edward.

I hadn't seen him in a long time. He'd obtained his bachelor's degree this Spring, as had I, but had chosen to not continue college to get his Master of Fine Arts. He was now spending his free time with filming, writing and making and recording music and promotion work.

After we graduated, we moved away from Yale campus and bought a house on Staten Island, which was now under construction. In the meantime, we lived slightly off-campus in New Haven, since I was still working on my minors.

Edward had been busy working on a new film project of his in Toronto this summer, and had come back to New Haven a week ago, and by that time I was already in New York to spend time with my sister.

I didn't see my family that often, especially Maya, so the time I _did_ spend with her, was treasured.

"Bella, please tell me what's going on? Please?" Maya pouted, shoving her yellow sunglasses in her hair for a better effect of her puppy dog eyes, which might have worked when she was a kid, but now she'd outgrown her teens, it was just funny.

I chuckled. "Maya, you're acting like a little child. Stop it, you will see for yourself soon enough."

Despite the fact she would have a surprise party, I hadn't ignored her birthday altogether. I'd taken her out for a small shopping spree in my favorite NYC neighborhood, as well as taking her to Barnes & Nobles, where we drooled over all the amazing books.

I'd told her we would have dinner with our parents this evening, but she didn't know they, along with her friends and other close family, were waiting in our suite.

"Not fucking fair, Bell," she groaned, before she nervously started fidgeting with the zipper of her sweater and playing with her hair.

As we came closer and closer to the Waldorf, I grew nervous too. Not because of something unknown, but because I was dying to see Edward. To see his eyes light up as he noticed me, to kiss him fiercely, to say 'I love you', to hear him say 'I love you' back, to hear him speak out my name.

At last, we'd arrived at the hotel and walked up to our room. Of course, Edward had arranged the most beautiful, and most expensive, suite of the hotel.

Just before we stopped at the door, I looked down at my outfit: plaid blouse, a too large tee(an old one from Edward), skinny jeans and my favorite pair of TOMS slip-ons, along with a few pieces of jewellery.

Alice would approve. Not.

I opened the door, looking sideways at my sister to be able to see her reaction.

"SURPRISE!" her family and friends welcomed her as we stepped into the room.

Maya gasped and put her hands on her mouth in surprise.

I turned around and hugged my not-so-little-anymore baby sister. "Happy birthday, May."

"Oh my gosh, this is amazing. Thank you so much," she breathed out, still flabbergasted.

Our dad was the first one to walk up to us, and took Maya in an embrace. "Oh, my little girls, growing up so fast. Look at you, Mayie, you're twenty now. _Twenty_! I can't _believe_ it!"

"Thanks, dad," she smiled.

"And, hey, if it gets too crowded, just say and I will take care of it, okay? I brought my badge along, just in case," he said, his mouth turning up in that crooked smile that made him look so young.

"Dad," Maya scoffed jokingly.

My mom and Phil came next, followed by her closest friends and family. Among them were the Cullens, Honor Rose first, who was Maya's best friend. Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and a pregnant Rose, Jasper, Alice and…

_Where the hell is Edward?_

Had he missed his train from New Haven? Had something else gone wrong?

_No. No. No._ Such things couldn't be the case. He'd sent me a text this morning saying they were busy preparing the suite for the big party, which meant he was already here. In New York.

Then it dawned on me.

He was teasing me. He was _fucking_ teasing me. Knowing him, he'd probably hidden somewhere, somewhere he could look at me, somewhere I couldn't see him.

_The ass._

Suddenly, I felt a chill running over my spine and a velvet voice whispered in my ear. "Congrats on Maya's birthday, my love."

At his voice, I turned around and was met by his scorching green eyes, and I got lost in the emerald pools of his irises.

Neither one of us looked away, and just as he always could, he was able to remove all the anger I felt towards him by just looking at me and turning it into bone-deep passion and want.

No words needed to be said. Edward took my face in his hands and fiercely kissed me.

I broke the kiss, out of breath and with a spinning head. Taking the time to catch my breath, I rested my head on his chest.

He gave me one of those dazzling smiles, which didn't really add up at me trying to regain my equilibrium.

"I missed you," Edward simply said, putting a lock of hair behind my ear.

Unconsciously, my lips pulled up in a smile. "Good, 'cause I missed you, too."

The 'anger' I'd felt earlier welled back up. "You're so goddamn childish," I said, slapping him on his upper arm.

"Ow," he whined, rubbing the spot I'd hit him. "What was that for?" he asked, pretending as if he didn't know what I did that for. Which he did. He did know very well why I'd done that.

"You know why, Edward," I said, giving him a look before I threw my arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. "I love you, Edward Cullen."

I felt Edward's laugh vibrating through his chest as he stroked my hair. A moment later, he pulled up my chin so he could look in my eyes. "I love you, too, Isabella Swan. Very much."

"Bwlegh," Honor and Maya groaned in unison, standing a few feet away from us in similar t-shirt dresses and worn-off Chucks.

Edward and I rolled our eyes at our little sisters, who were just out to mess with us.

But their encounter did remind me of the fact my boyfriend and I weren't in our apartment or somewhere else private.

We were at a _party_. A _birthday party_. M_y sister's birthday party_. There were other people around. _Lots_ of other people.

Edward seemed to realize this, too, as he stepped out of our embrace and simply put an arm around my waist. "I'm going to get something to drink. You want something?" he said, lowering his head so we were nearly on the same level.

Oh man, yeah, I needed a drink. A cool, iced coke. "Yeah, I need a coke."

Edward chuckled at my choice of words and desperate tone. "You _need_ a coke? Right. A coke it will be, miss."

_Smart-ass._

I groaned and pushed him to the direction of the bar. "Hurry," I mouthed at him.

I walked out to the balcony and breathed in the fresh air.

_Ah, this feels good._

"Bella!" I heard someone shout in a surprised tone.

Strange. How could anyone be surprised to see me here, at my sister's birthday party? Everyone who knew Maya, knew me, and turned around. We never ditched on each other's birthdays, always being at least on the same location.

I turned around, looking for the someone who'd called for me. It was a deep voice, a voice I couldn't really place. It wasn't Edward's for sure, as his was more smooth. Besides, I would have recognized his voice anywhere, anytime, even in my sleep.

"Bella! Wow. I haven't seen you in so long!" the voice spoke again, and then I found him.

Jacob Black. Jake.

When we were little, Jake and I used to play together whenever I was visiting my dad. I'd hung out with him a few times after I'd moved to Forks for good. I still could remember the bonfires.

During the time Edward had been in England for filming, Jake and I'd developed a close friendship. He'd looked after me, preventing me from breaking down completely. Although I also spent a lot of time at the Cullens, it was nice to be in a different environment, an environment that didn't make me think of Edward that much, from time to time.

After Edward's return, a tension between the two guys rose up.

Yes, I could have fallen in love with Jacob, maybe, if it wasn't for the fact I was alreadymadly in love with Edward Cullen. I needed Edward to breathe, to live. He was such a huge part of me.

Jake was more like a brother to me, a brother I never had, or more of a close cousin. Jake himself thought otherwise, he clearly wanted more.

Something I couldn't give him.

If it would have been in another universe, another time, I was sure I would have been with Jake, or at least someone like him.

It wasn't, though, and I was with Edward now. I was happy, really happy. I craved, enjoyed every moment I got to spend with my personal Adonis.

The close bond between Jake and I had faded when Edward and I moved to the other side of the country. I was busy with school, and travelling from one side to the other just didn't happen in a second.

Jacob greeted me by taking me in a tight hug. As always he was a little bit too eager and wasn't aware of his own strength.

"Jake…can't…breathe."

He loosened his arms a little, but didn't let go. "Oh, yeah, sorry."

"What are you doing here? Didn't know you and Maya were such good friends."

"We aren't. I was in town, and Charlie wanted to give me something for Billy. I just came to pick it up."

I nodded, understanding now.

"But how are you? How's the life in the East?" he continued.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm good, really good. Completing my minors at Yale, you know."

"Ah, I see," Jake laughed. He'd graduated high school, taking longer than would have been necessary, but had decided to not attend college. He spent his time repairing cars and other vehicles, and hanging around the rez with his friends.

"What are you gonna do when you're done? Visit the rez?" he asked.

"I don't know, actually. I haven't decided upon anything, yet," I answered truthfully. "We thought about backpacking through Europe, a city trip or going hiking in England, something like that."

"_We_?" he caught. "Are you still together with that Cullen guy?" Jake had never liked Edward. _Why? _Don't ask me. Must be rivalry or something.

"Yes. Why would you think otherwise?"

His cheeks flushed. "Eh…I don't know."

"You think you will move back to the West?" He changed the subject quickly.

"Maybe. I don't know. I'm focusing on my schoolwork now," I shrugged, throwing a glance through the glass wall to see inside. I noticed Edward standing in the middle of the room, looking for me while holding two cokes in his hand.

"Edward! Over here!" I called for him and waved.

He saw me now, too, giving me another one of his dazzling smiles and walked over to us in long strides.

"Here's your coke, Bella," he said softly, weaving an arm around my waist and placing a kiss in my hair.

"Thanks, honey," I smiled up at him.

Jacob subtly cleared his throat.

Edward's gaze shot up from my eyes to Jacob. "Ah, Jacob. Didn't know you were invited, too. How are you?" he said in a tone I was very well acquainted with. The she-is-mine tone. To put more strength behind his statement, he pulled me only closer against his side.

"I'm good, enjoying life," Jacob said, a sneering undertone audible in his too calm voice.

A Native American looking girl approached us. "There you are. Shall we go?" she said before she greeted Jacob by kissing him full on the mouth.

She seemed familiar, but I couldn't really put a name to her face. Over the years I'd met so many people and the months I'd lived in Forks seemed so long ago now, longer than the four years it had been since I moved away. I was still keeping in touch with my high school friends Angela Weber, her boyfriend Eric Yorkie, on-and-off couple Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley, and Tyler Crowley, though, but that part of my life seemed so far away.

I took a closer look. Copper skin, dark eyes, dark, black hair almost like oil. Definitely a Quileute.

Then it hit me. Leah. Leah Clearwater.

Jake was dating _Leah_?

Whoa, I must have been away for a _really_ long time. Last thing I knew he was dating this girl named Lizzy. Last thing I knew he and Leah Clearwater weren't friendly, to put it mildly.

"I'm going inside, checking on Maya. Nice to see you again, Jake, Leah." I gave Jake a quick hug and hopped inside.

Edward followed me. I thought I'd heard him mutter something that sounded like "God, that Black is really starting to get on my nerves. If he ever makes a move again…"

I grabbed his hand and intertwined my fingers with his, stroking a path from his knuckle to his wrist on the palm of his hand, trying to reassure him.

Meanwhile, I looked around for my sister. As I'd spotted her, she gave me a don't-worry-about-me smile and pointed to the door of my bedroom.

I gave her a thank-you smile in return before I pulled Edward into the room and locked the door.

I pushed him on the bed.

"Miss Swan is very eager and impatient today, eh?" he teased me as he placed his hands on my hips.

"Very. Much. I. Have. Been. Wanting. This. Ever. Since. You. Left," I breathed against his lips, kissing him after each word. At the same time, I unbuttoned his blouse and pulled it off forcefully.

He laughed against my eager lips.

"Shut up, Edward," I silenced him with yet another kiss.

He took my face in one hand, boring his gaze in mine, and removed my blouse with the other. "Mmm, that blouse looks very familiar to me," he mused, halting his movements.

"Well, it _was_ yours." I didn't want to talk, so I covered up his lips again. Our clothes were removed in no time.

He moved slowly.

"_Fucking hell_, Edward! Just…get…in me! Do I have to scream it?" I cried.

"_I _wouldn't care, but I know _you_ would. When we step back into that room, and everyone will be eyeing us, knowing exactly what we just did in here..."

I groaned. "Edward! I'm serious!"

"I know, sweetheart, I know," he kissed my neck before he sank in me, filling me, completing me.

We kept it short, both of us not lasting long due to our strong longing after not having seen each other for weeks. And we didn't want to be overly indiscreet.

Just as we were finishing up on making us look presentable again, someone knocked on the door.

"Bella, I know you're in there with my brother. Could you please open the door before I have to take more drastic measurements?"

Edward shook his head at his crazy sister, bending down to retrieve his blouse.

I unlocked the door. Alice was standing in front of it, an oh-too-familiar object shielding her off. A dress bag.

I groaned.

"Bella, don't. It's a party. Your _sister's_ party, for God's sake. The casual hours have passed long ago. You need to change, and you needed it half an hour ago, to be honest. How could you show up like that?" she accused, still holding the bag in front of her face.

"Alice, why are you holding that bag in front of your face?" I asked.

"Because I wasn't sure what exactly you were doing in here, and I didn't want to be met by the sight of my brother and best friend in their birthday suits while they were doing dirty things."

Behind, Edward shook from laughter. "Alice, you can pull the bag away."

As she pulled the bag aside, she gave him the stink-eye and flipped him the bird before marching past me in the bedroom.

"You, out," she pointed at my boyfriend.

Edward saluted on the spot before he walked over to me and kissed my hair. "Thanks for a moment ago. I love you. And good luck with that over there," he whispered, pointing at his sister.

I gawked at him like the love-sick fool that I was, his voice and breath leaving goose bumps all over my body.

"Don't be too hard on her, Cullen. She's beautiful as she is and she doesn't need any shiny, million dollar dress or layer of make-up to be the most gorgeous woman on earth. Got that?" he said to his one-year younger sister.

"Edward! How long have you known me? I know perfectly well what suits Bella and what doesn't. Now go. You will have her back in your arms in just a short time."

As Edward had pulled the door close behind him, she pulled me to the middle of the room and ordered me to get out of my clothes.

"Not everyone is a Cullen, Alice," I said as I laid down my clothes on a chair.

"True, very true. _You_, on the other hand, will be one soon, so you better get used to it."

"Alice, I'm just _dating_ Edward. Nothing more."

For one second I thought I saw an uncomfortable look in her eyes, but then it was gone. "Yes, but you want to marry him, one day, right?"

Yes. I wanted to marry Edward. One day. When we at least both had finished college and had established ourselves. When _I _had established _myself_, in our case. So, in two, three years maybe.

"Yes. One day."

"Well…then you will be a Cullen. Besides, you're kind of a Cullen already, even if you're not married to him." She zipped the dress bag open and pulled out the dress. "My own design," she said proudly and showed it to me.

At the age of just fifteen, Alice Mary Cullen had founded her own clothes brand called _Silver Texas_, called after her favorite color and Jasper's home state.

It was a name she wanted to give to her firstborn daughter, and since she found herself too young to have babies then – who didn't? – she decided to call the brand Silver Texas as well. Besides, it was sort of her baby, after all.

Silver Texas has been popular since day one. By now, Alice has enlarged the brand with a shoe line, accessories line, make-up line, kids line, female line and male line.

After graduating high school, she was taken on at Central Saint Martins in London, where she developed herself in so many ways. Her education certainly brought a change to her brand, which was clearly evident in her first collection since her graduation from the prestigious school this spring.

I looked at the dress held up by my best friend.

To be honest, I quite liked it.

The dress was mid-length, probably reaching till slightly above my knees. The color was dark blue, midnight even. Dark blue was Edward's favorite color on me. The sleeves were t-shirt length. It was pretty decent, but not _boring_ decent.

"Alice, I love it!" I beamed.

"I know," she simply said, as if she had expected my answer. _Psychic_.

Alice helped me with the dress, zipping it up.

For herself, she was wearing a bubble gum pink tank dress, her own design of course, and black fish-net heels.

She gave me a pair of black Louboutin heels.

"Alice, I don't know if…," I hesitated, looking at the heels. Me and heels weren't the best of friends. Even if I managed to stay up right on them, they always scared me.

It was hard enough for me already to not loose my equilibrium while walking on flat shoes, let alone on six inch heels…

"Bella, you've walked on much higher heels. Remember when you walked shows for me?"

"Yes." And those times had been hell, torture. I hadn't been able to walk normally for days. I mean, it was fun, getting groomed, getting to wear the most awesome outfits, but it wasn't comfortable.

Alice, meanwhile, was working on my hair. She twisted some strings of my hair, pinning it together on the back of my head, and pulled the rest of my locks in a bun.

"So, that's better," she concluded.

I gazed at myself in the mirror. Something was missing…"The necklace Edward got me!" I exclaimed.

As a graduation present, Edward had given me a gorgeous, vintage harmonica necklace, which he'd gotten engraved with the saying_ 'For my beautiful Bella, for you inspire me every day, for loving me to this day. Love, E.A.C._' I'd gotten him tickets to a Kings of Leon concert as well as a vintage baseball jacket.

Alice rolled her eyes at my reaction, but reached over to my small jewellery bag and put it on for me, after which she pulled me to my feet and led me to the door impatiently.

During my absence from the party scene, the atmosphere in the big room had changed. The amount of guests had twiddled down and people had changed to more evening-fitting clothes.

Eagerly, I scanned the room for Edward. Just like this noon, I couldn't find him. _Damn_.

I spotted Maya and Honor standing over by the iPod dock, playing DJ. My sister wore a beautiful black dress with ¾ sleeves and deep back. Her hair was pulled in a bun as well, with two braids on each side of her head. Honor was dressed down in a light blue, pastel baby doll dress, her shoulder length hair loose.

As I continued to look over the room, Rosalie wasn't hard to miss. She looked stunning as always in a gorgeous red robe, her pregnant belly coming out through the fabric swiftly.

Rosalie was a super model. Even now that she was pregnant, she still took on some jobs, but she was taking it easy, wanting to focus on her family life and getting ready for the arrival of her firstborn.

Although none of the Cullens didn't need to worry about money, as they had more than enough to buy themselves anything, they all enjoyed working and earning their own money.

Emmett and Rosalie had gotten married a year ago, during a beautiful and romantic fairytale-like July wedding held at the Cullen villa near Forks. Rosalie wore a cream white gown with her blond hair curly reaching till her mid-back. Shortly after, they'd exchanged their LA condo for a family house in Vancouver, BC, which held seven bedrooms and enough extra space for entertainment rooms and other facilities.

Rosalie had always wanted to become a young mother. The moment she told us she was expecting, the joy and happiness was literally radiating off her. She was due in two-and-a-half months, making that mid October.

Now his wife was expecting, Emmett was even more protective over her than he usually was, staying at her side.

As I still couldn't find Edward, the ass, I decided to walk over to my sister, who was now inspecting her big birthday cake of which she could blow out the candles at the time of her birth, 8.23 PM.

It was a chocolate cake, with all kind of different chocolate flavors. The cake was decorated with a photo of her taken on the beach of Santa Monica when we – Renee, Charlie and I – had come down to visit during Spring Break. At the bottom of the photo stood the lines _Maya Grace Swan…20!_

"You like it?" I asked her.

Maya turned around at the sound of my voice. "Oh, hey, Bells," she greeted me. "Yeah, I love it, I really love it." She put an arm around my shoulder. "It's an amazing party, Bell, it's _epic_."

I smiled. Maya always knew how to use big words such as epic, terrific and horrific.

My little sister leaned her head on my shoulder. We were almost of the same height, maybe differing in two inches only, opposed to Alice and Honor, who differed about seven inches, where Honor was the taller one.

"You look beautiful, May," I told her.

"You, too, Bell, you, too."

We both blushed. Us Swans weren't really good in taking on compliments.

The music's volume played up, indicating it was time to dance. It was a slow one.

A bone-deep tinkling spread over my skin, and just as was I about to turn around, a voice came from behind.

"Maya, do you mind if I borrow your sister for a dance?"

Maya and I turned around.

There he stood, in all his glory. He, too, had changed outfits, dressed in grey slacks, dress shoes and a black, narrow-fitting tee. My, he looked gorgeous.

"Of course not. She's all yours," Maya smiled at my boyfriend and patted him on the shoulder before she walked over to her friends.

Edward pulled me to the middle of the dance floor and twirled me around.

"Edward, please. You know I can't dance," I pleaded.

"Bella," he sighed. "We have danced so many times. Remember what you said at prom? You said it wasn't so bad, because you were with me. Besides, it's all in the leading."

I groaned, but gave in, placing the hand that wasn't in Edwards on his shoulder.

"You look beautiful, Isabella. Midnight blue suits you," he whispered in my ear, his cheek resting against the side of my head.

"Back at you, Mr. Cullen," I whispered, placing butterfly kisses on his neck. "How was filming?" I asked casually, while laying my head on his chest.

"Great."

"Really?" I pressed on.

"Yeah, absolutely," he nodded feverishly. "I have this amazing co-star, and man…it took me everything not to take her right away, and…"

I moved my head off his chest and slapped him on the spot I'd just rested my head. "Edward!" I bellowed. "I'm serious! You can be so childish sometimes. Grow up!"

He had to laugh about my reaction. Really hard.

Okay, if he was going to play like that after I had him back in my arms since a few hours ago, I was out.

I started to pull away.

Edward didn't seem to like that, as he pulled me back against his chest. "Ho, ho. I wasn't finished with you, missy."

I gave him a look. _Don't mess with me, Cullen._

He took a deep breath, before he diverted his eyes back to me. "Isabella, I'm sorry. Really. You're so damn hot and adorable for your own good, especially when you're jealous or angry. I'm sorry for pissing you off, really. It's just that…I really fucking missed you." And he kissed me.

Edward Cullen was such a cheater.

I could be stubborn and hold my ground, too, though. "Well?"

He shook his head incredulously, a smile on his lips, before he turned serious. _At last._ "As you know, I was very eager about the project. The script was one of the best I've ever read. I'd an amazing time during shooting. The director is amazing, the woman who played my on-screen wife is lovely and very friendly. She's a model-turned-actress, but she's really good. I had a lot of fun, and I'm sure the final product is going to be amazing."

I nodded absently, enjoying listening to his voice and him sharing his thoughts with me.

Edward put a few strands that had loosened from my bun behind my hair, stroking my jaw line as he retreated his hand. As he met my eyes, his were a soft green, sweet almost. "Despite what happens on-screen, despite what things might seem like… To me, you're the most beautiful woman, person, in the whole world, Isabella. I hope you know that, because that's what I think and always will think," he said determinedly, a shy smile on his lips, turning me into a mushy pool of jellyfish at his feet.

"I love _you_. No one else. Not before, not now, not ever," he continued sincerely, his lips on my forehead.

"If it wasn't for you, I might have looked the same from the outside, but I would have been miserable on the inside. I would probably have grabbed the bottle and turned into a alcoholic or drugs addict. I wouldn't have been where I'm now. I would have been a Z actor."

"Edward…," I started to protest, having found back my voice after he'd turned me speechless with his words.

"No, Isabella, it's true. _You_ keep me down to earth. I can be totally myself around you. You take absolutely no bullshit from me. You treat me as Edward, as _me_. Not as the actor, nor the model, nor the musician or the celebrity. You treat me as your boyfriend. I couldn't ask for more…" he broke off suddenly, as if he wasn't sure about his last words.

Did he want more?

**REVIEW, dudes! (Sorry, I just love the word 'dude')**


	3. September Blues

**UPDATE, 12th July 2011:  
As for now, Dating Fame chapter 3 has been edited and revised. Apart from grammar changes, substantive changes (might) have been made as well. I enlarged the background story and went more into detail. If you want to know what exactly is different than before, just ask.**

**Beta'd by the amazing **_**With The What Now**_**.**

**I will away on vacation from the 13th(tomorrow) to the 24th of July, spending my time in the south south east of England. After my return, I hope to have the time to finish off Dating Fame chapter 23 as well as other chapters of other stories. Can't make any promises, though, as I will also be working a lot.**

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**First of all, Holy Fucking Crow! I'd never expected to get so hits/visitors, over the 200 is a lot for me. On it's first day! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! **

**Here's chapter 3, I hope you like it. **

**Major thanks to **_**ChameleonxBookworm**_** and **_**Deboraa**_** for reviewing. Follow their lead, guys and please review. There's a small button down the page, which is very lonely. Just click on it and write a small response, that's all I need.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all, except for Honor and Maya. All mine, as well as the plot and all things not mentioned in the books or interviews.**

_~Chapter 3~  
*September Blues*  
by SoaneLucy13_

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It was September and Edward was in New York for yet another new movie - another new project he'd been really enthusiastic about.

I myself had flown to LA to help Maya re-do her room in a condo at a student building she shared with four other girls.

My Edward was on the news, and in the papers a lot.

And he wasn't alone. His co-star, Tanya Denali, was with him.

I could tell you all about Tanya Denali, Hollywood's sweetheart. She spent her childhood in Russia, moved to Alaska on the age of then with her feminist mother and two little sisters Irina and Katerina "Kate" after her parents' divorce was settled. Not much later, she was spotted by a model scout and became a much-acclaimed model over the years. On her twentieth, seven years ago, she exchanged the runway for the big screen. She was now twenty-seven, and over three years older than Edward.

She and Edward played an on-screen couple in his new film, having very steamy kissing scenes. Scenes to be jealous of.

Not only did they have lots of time on-screen together, they also spent quite a bit of time off-screen as well, which paparazzi and gossip magazines found highly interesting.

Although I knew Edward was very faithful, it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy having to read or watch about your boyfriend, who was 3000 miles away from you, having secret hot dates with his co-star. Even if I didn't want to see it, I would stumble upon the magazine covers or TV fragments eventually.

I had to stay strong, though. For myself, for him, but most of all, for _us_.

While with her in LA, Maya tried to distract me as much as she could and take my mind off the gossip shit. She would take me to gigs, the beach, her favorite shops…

It helped, in some ways, but at the end of the day, the images always came back to haunt me and the fact Edward wasn't there with me to hold me in my arms didn't really help at all.

To top it off and make all worse, I hadn't had my period, yet. I was late, and I was never late, I had a very regular period every twenty-eight days, always. Which means I should have had my period two weeks ago.

Hell no, fuck. I couldn't be pregnant, pregnant of a fucking Hollywood actor who, instead of being at my side, was spending his time cuddling with another woman on the other side of the country.

All right, it wasn't like that, at all, but I still felt a pang in my heart.

I had enough trouble handling the shit load I got to deal with that came with dating Edward Cullen on my own, but also having to protect a harmless, innocent little baby… a little thing that would become of high interest to the parasites that is the paparazzi as well… I just couldn't do that.

It wasn't up to me, though. If I was already pregnant, there wasn't anything I could do about it. Or _would_ do about it. Even if I didn't wish my child to be a celebrity baby, I would never _ever_ abort any of my kids.

Before I allowed myself to jump to all sorts of conclusions, though, I had to know for sure if I was actually pregnant or not.

I was grateful Maya had classes for the day, so I wouldn't have to deal with her for now.

I went down to the closest pharmacy and bought the first pregnancy tests I saw. Back at Maya's apartment, I went to the bathroom.

While I had to wait for the results of the test, I dialled my mother.

The phone was answered by Phil. "Phil Dwyer," he said.

I swallowed to get the lump in my throat away before I spoke. "Hey Phil, it's Bella. Is Renée around?" _Keep calm, keep calm, keep calm, Bella._

"Hey Bella! Almost your birthday, huh? Yeah, she's around. Hold on."

"Thanks, Phil."

"_Renée! Phone! It's Bella!" _I heard him call away from the phone into the house.

Luckily, it didn't take long before my mother's voice sounded through the receiver. "Bella?"

And I almost broke down then and there, in my sister's bathroom, while maybe being pregnant of my hot-shot boyfriend who was thousands of miles away and who I missed terribly.

"Hey mom," I said, unable to hide away my panic.

"Baby, what's going on? You sound panicked." Renee had always been good in picking up the hints of something going on.

"Mom, I…Mom, I think I'm…I…" and I couldn't hold it off anymore. I started to sob.

"Oh, honey, do you want me to come over? What's the matter, Isabella? Is it Edward?" she asked, really worried now.

"No, it's not Edward. We're still good. I just really miss him," I sighed, new sobs sounding from my throat. I took a few steadying breaths before I spoke again. "Mom, I…Mom, I haven't had my period. I'm two weeks late. I didn't come to think of it before, 'cause I had to say goodbye to Edward and I'd had so much on my mind already. This morning, I heard one of Maya's roommates whine about period cramps, and I suddenly realized I hadn't had my period in ages.

"Mom," I said, taking another deep breath. "I think I might be…pregnant. Edward isn't here, he's 3000 miles away from me, shooting cozy scenes with his co-star, and I miss him so much. I have…seven tests here, I don't want to do this on my own, Mom. Maya is at school. Mom, I need you to hold my hand over the phone. Please, Mom?"

And that all in three breaths. My, it had worn me out.

My mom was quiet for a few seconds. "Of course, darling," she answered sincerely. "For you always. Do you still want me to come over?"

"Eh…I don't know…no, you don't have to. I'll be fine. I just don't know how to tell Edward. I want him to know as soon as possible."

"Over the phone?"

"NO! Of course not." I would never do that to him. Besides, I wanted to see his face if I would be telling him he would become a father.

"On your birthday?" Renee questioned.

"Maybe, if that would be the first time I got to see him again, but it's almost two weeks from now and I don't want to do that to him. He'll probably be one of the last to know. I couldn't do that."

"Okay. You're ready?"

The nerves shot back up. Was I ready? No. I wasn't. But I had to. If I was ready or not, if I wanted to be or not. I had to be.

Although the results were probably up, I couldn't help but want to stall a little longer.

My mom put me at ease a little by rambling off about her life and the adventures of my half brother Bruce, who was hilarious to see and such a lovely child. Renee even put him on the phone.

"Bella, here he comes," she announced.

"Okay," I laughed.

"Bell-ah! Hey-hey," his excited, high voice sounded through the phone.

"Hey Brucie," I chuckled.

"Are you okay?" he asked, worrying coloring his voice now.

"Yeah, I just miss my boyfriend," I sighed.

"You miss Edward?"

"Yes."

"He's cool, ya know. Mommy took me to see this animation film some days ago, and she told me your Edward voiced the bad-ass one of the good guys. He was awesome. Will you tell him I think he's cool, Bella? I don't have his number, or I would have told him so myself, and I know you speak to him almost every day, so could you do that, Bella?"

I smiled at the adorable words of my adorable little half-brother.

"I will, Bru, I will," I promised.

"Thanks, man!" Bruce beamed.

I had to laugh again.

_"Bruce, can you give me the phone back?" _Renee's voice sounded from out of the background.

_"Sure, Mommy,"_ he said to her, before speaking back into the phone. "Bye Bella."

"Bye, Brucie," I said, trying to keep the nerves out of my voice to not let him grow suspicious.

"You should take a look now, honey," my mother's voice sounded in my ear.

"I know, Mom."

"I'm here, Isabella. I'm here," she spoke encouragingly.

"Thank you so much, Mom."

_Alright, just get this done with._

I slowly made my way back to the bathroom, not looking at the tests before I was standing right in front of the sink.

At three, I would look. _One…two…three_. I diverted my eyes to the test results screaming and waving their outcome in my face.

One at a time, I checked them. There were two stripes, a plus, a smiley, a blue line…But they all said the same thing: pregnant.

I was pregnant. For real. I was pregnant for real.

_Holy shit._

"Pregnant," I breathed out. "I'm pregnant."

"Congratulations, sweetheart!" Renee beamed. "Are you going to be okay? Can you handle it? Do you need any help?"

"Yes, Mom. I've looked after you, after Maya, after Dad, so I'm sure I can handle myself and this baby."

"Or babies. Maybe you'll be having twins."

_Twins?_ I gulped.

"But you know what I was talking about, Isabella. I know you. I know you've the tendency to over-think sometimes. I know you worry about your baby growing up in the spotlight. I know you find yourself too young, but darling, I was nineteen and twenty-two when I had you and your sister. Don't be embarrassed about your fears, honey."

She was right. Completely right. Of course.

"Mom, the father of this baby is Edward Cullen, one of the most famous actors of this country, in the world; the most wanted man on earth. I already have to put a lot of effort behind keeping my own identity a secret, imagine how much it would cost me to keep my baby out of the public eye?" I spoke out my fears.

"Bella, there's nothing you can do about Edward's fame. It is how it is. Being with him comes attention, which counts for you and his children as well. I understand you fear for your child's well-being and happiness, but you should stop trying to make it alright, because you can't. No matter what, your child will be of interest to the media."

She continued, "This is what will happen: you will tell Edward, and in about eight months time, you will give birth to a beautiful little baby. I know you'll be an amazing mother, and Edward will be a perfect father. You know that, too, Isabella."

My mom was right again. I knew this; I knew there wasn't anything to do about the media being interested in our children; I knew everything would be okay; I knew we would be amazing parents, trying the best we could.

"You're right, Mom."

"Bella, honey, I understand. I understand the situation you're in isn't easy, but I know you two can handle it."

"I know, Mom, and I really appreciate all the support you, and Dad and Maya and everybody else, too, have given me over the years. You've always been there for me, and I really don't know what I would have done without you."

"Oh, Isabella, it's what we do. We're all so proud of you."

"Thank you, Mom, really. It means so much to me," I smiled through my sobs.

"Now, Bella, I don't want to kill the mood, and don't get me wrong, I'm really excited about becoming a grandmother, but…as your mother I have to ask you this…Bella, I thought you were on the pill."

"I was…I think I might have forgotten to take it regularly during the week I was in New York for Maya's birthday. I didn't feel all too well, I was sick of longing for Edward and excited because I would see him in less than seven days. I think I might have slipped a few during that time. It's stupid, I know. I just…I don't know…I've been so stupid," I groaned, angry at myself.

_God, I was such an idiot._ Edward would surely hate me for being so irresponsible.

I knew he wanted children, but I also knew he wasn't ready, yet. He'd so much planned for the upcoming years and he would feel guilty for not being there enough for me and our baby.

"Bella, things like that happen. You're not the only woman who forgets to take the pill sometimes. It must be a shock, surely, but you and Edward…you will accept it, right?"

"Yeah. I mean, I don't know about Edward, but I could never kill my baby."

"That's a very good thing, honey. I agree with you upon that," Renee said forcefully. "I'm sorry to say this, baby, but I've to take Bruce back to school. Will you be okay? Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm good. Thank you so much for doing this with me, Mom. Really."

"I'm glad I could be of help. Don't shy away from calling me, Isabella Marie."

"I won't. Bye, Mom."

"Bye sweet daughter of mine."

After we'd hung up, I spent the remaining time till I would meet Maya for dinner in Santa Monica thinking about how I would tell Edward, and when.

My birthday was in less than two weeks. The shooting of Edward's current movie would take up till October with a possible overrun to the beginning of November, but he'd said he was able to have a break from filming to celebrate my birthday with me.

I decided that would be the best time to tell him, during the days around my birthday when he would be with me. Although that meant I'd to keep it away from him during our daily phone conversations and/or texts for about nine days, I couldn't come up with a better option. Edward had to be on set all day long and filmed long days at the moment, so even if I would come down to visit him on set, there wouldn't be time to tell him. Besides, I wanted to tell him when he was at least better rested and when there was less pressure.

Because I couldn't keep it away from him entirely, I hinted about it in my goodnight text I sent him that night.

_Hey sweetie. I miss you, still. So much. Hope you're okay and filming isn't so bad. Don't forget to take time to rest a little, as well. You need it. When you'll come over for my birthday, there's something I have to tell you. Don't worry about it, though. Focus on filming and the days will flow by and we will be in each others arms again.  
I love you. Always. Xx, your Bella._

A few hours later, I was woken up by my ringing cell. A worried Edward.

It could have been expected.

"Bella, what's going on?" he said frantically as I took up my phone.

"Hi to you, too, baby," I greeted him, immediately soothed by the sound of his voice. "Did you ever hear of time zones, Edward?"

"Hey, love," he said back, his tone softening. "I was worried, okay? You know how I worry about you. And sorry for waking you."

"I know you do. It's okay."

"So?" he questioned.

"So, what?" I played innocent.

"Bella. What. Is. Going. On?" he growled, sounding really upset and worried still.

"Honey, I told you not to worry, remember? I will tell you on my birthday. Just focus on the movie. I don't want you not being able to come, because you've belated the schedule with your acting, or with your lack therefore."

Edward groaned at my evasion tactics. "Bella, please?" he begged.

I was lucky I couldn't see him and his damn intoxicating eyes and breathtaking smile, or I might have given in at the spot and boldly told him right then and there.

But he wasn't, and so I didn't tell him. Because despite everything in me yearning to tell him right at that very moment, I knew this was for the best. He might be a little disappointed I didn't tell him first of all people, he might be a little hurt I'd waited for nearly two weeks to tell me, but I knew he would understand, eventually. He would understand how much I wanted to see his face when I would inform him of the fact I was pregnant with his child.

"Edward, it's something I _need _to tell you in person," I told him.

Edward sighed defeated, before he coughed once. "Well," he started, "there's something I need to tell you, too."

_Damn!_ He's giving me a taste of my own medicine. "Oh."

He laughed. "You will see," he said teasingly.

I groaned. _Not fucking fair._

"Ooh, I love it when you're impatient, baby," he chuckled. I bet he was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"I'm now slapping you over the phone, Mr. Cullen, just so you know," I scoffed.

"Ouch. That hurts, Swan."

_Just what he deserved. _"Good."

I heard distant voices calling his name in the background. Edward beat me to it by answering the question I'd been meaning to ask.

"Love, I have to go. They want me on set. They've been wanting me on set for a few minutes now, and Tanya's getting impatient."

The green-eyed jealous girlfriend that I was, I couldn't help but sneer. "You love that, too?"

"Bella," he sighed. "I love _you_. Don't you remember?"

"Remember what?" I said annoyed.

"I prefer brunettes. Tanya is a blonde, strawberry blonde. Not my type at _all_."

"Oh. Figures."

"I'm sorry," he said in a agonized voice.

"For what?" I asked bewildered. "_I'_m the one who should be sorry. I'm always doubting you, in the back of my head, even if I try not to."

"I know, Bella, and I completely understand._ I_ am sorry, because you're with me, you have to endure all those bull shit they're writing about me, all those stories they make up…" he broke off suddenly. "You know what I'm going to do tonight?"

"Eh…filming scenes?" _What the hell?_

"Yes, among other things. I'll also have an interview with Vladimir Waszowksi. On live television. Watch that, please. For me. Do not record it, watch it."

What the hell was he going to do? Vladimir Waszowksi, one of the most popular talk show hosts? Holy crow. "Eh…okay."

Besides having one of the most watched shows on American TV, Vladimir was also second cousin to Stefan Waszowksi, who was in Edward's band Vampire Heart.

"_Edward, you're coming?" _a nasal, female voice sounded in the background. A voice I recognized all too well. Tanya. _Great_.

"_You're on the phone, sorry. With who? Don't tell it's your mother or little sister. You're such a mama's boy," _she laughed.

_Excuse me?_ She thought he was calling his Mom? She thought I was his Mom? Ugh.

No offence to Esme, she's a darling…but, just…I didn't like Tanya Denali at all. Maybe if she wasn't my boyfriend's co-star, if she wasn't after him, I could have liked her. _Maybe_.

"Your mom?" I asked incredulously.

"Bella," Edward sighed, admonishing me not to exasperate. "She can be cool."

_You want me to believe that, mister? As your girlfriend, I can't find your on-screen lover cool, the same who pines after you and is god-gorgeous. Sorry, understanding and sympathy. You're at the wrong address. _"Sure, sure."

Edward chuckled before he answered Tanya's question. _"My girlfriend."_

"Watch it. She's going to be surprised," I told him.

"Isabella, love," he sighed again.

_"Girlfriend?" _Tanya asked, clearly not having expected _that_ answer.

_"Yes,"_ Edward answered matter-of-factly, a hint of pride shining through the calm tone of his voice.

_"Really?"_

He just said that, missy.

"Yes, for over five years now. Have I never told you about her? I'm sure I have. Anyways, I'm heading to the set. You're coming?"

_"Yeah, yeah, I'll go with you,"_ Tanya said, still a bit struck.

Ha! "You see," I said self-satisfied.

"Yes, you were right, Bella. Happy now?" my hot-shot boyfriend retorted, and I knew he was shaking his head at my behavior right the shit now.

"Hey, listen," Edward continued. "I have to hang up now - I've got some scenes to film for the end of the day, but don't forget to tune in tonight, 'kay? It's live, which will make it 6 PM for you then. I love you."

"Love you, too," I smiled love-sickly, even if I knew he wouldn't be able to see.

"Don't forget it," he reminded me sternly.

"I won't," I reassured him.

"Okay. God, I love you so much."

I laughed. "Desperate?"

"So much."

"Two weeks, Edward," I told him.

"No, Bella. Ten days."

"You're right, babe."

"Bye, love."

"Bye, sweetie."

As soon as we'd hung up, I felt the ache in my heart increase.

This wasn't as bad as the six months he'd been in London all those years ago, six _months_. Also, I was eighteen at the time.

Now, I would get to see Edward in two weeks…sorry, ten days. _Days_ instead of months. But, I hadn't just found out I was pregnant of his child back then.

The next day, after having told Maya she would become an aunt at breakfast, I decided to inform my best friends; Alice was in New York, where she lived at least half of the year, and almost eight-months pregnant Rosalie was in Vancouver.

"What's up, Bella? Don't call us to whine about how much you miss Edward. We know already," Alice started.

"No, it's not that. I've got something to tell you."

"What? What is it, Bella?"

_Oh gosh, how to say this? Isn't there some Dummies books for how-to-tell-your-best-friends-you're-pregnant-of-their-brother, the brother who doesn't even know himself and who won't know for yet another two weeks…err nine days? _There wasn't, sadly. Maybe I should write it myself.

I realized the best way was to just tell them and get it done with, and to be as straightforward as possible.

_Here goes._

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out.

Alice and Rosalie both gasped and then fell into a fit of squeals. I could picture Alice sitting on her bed, clapping in her hands like an excited five-year-old or even go as far as jumping up and down on her king-sized bed.

Crazy, that one, if you ask me.

"How far are you?" Rosalie asked, the practical.

It was most likely I'd gotten pregnant of the time on Maya's birthday, a month ago, which would mean I would be four weeks along. "A month, I would say."

"You've _got_ to be kidding me!" Alice exclaimed. "Don't go to tell me you fucked him during your sister's birthday party. You _did_, didn't you? You fucked my brother. I knew I should've keep that bag in front of my face for a reason, I _knew_ you'd been dirty."

"Well, yes, I did," I admitted sheepishly, fiercely blushing and being thankful as fuck they couldn't see.

Both my sisters-in-law had to laugh about my words.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Alice sing-sung. "What do we with you?"

"Well, congrats, babe. And good luck," Rosalie added.

"Thanks," I told her thankfully.

"Wait…you…the two of you didn't plan to have a baby, right? Edward never mentioned anything, nor did you…You must realize you just can't do that to me, you know," Alice perceived, putting on a hurt tone.

"No…I…this wasn't planned. We wanted to have kids, but we thought of having them in a few more years time."

"You're not unhappy with this, aren't you?" my best friend asked, shocked now.

"I won't deny I think it would have been better if Edward and I both had more free time, with me finishing off my minors and Edward with the next two years nearly fully booked, but I will keep it. I'm pregnant, there's nothing I can do about that. I will welcome any child of mine and Edward's with open arms, and try to be the best mom possible. Even with all the papps that're going to be around us when they find out."

"Oh, Bella, _you_ of all people shouldn't worry about that. You will be an amazing mother, and as much as Edward might think otherwise, he will be an amazing father. Your kid will be the luckiest kid around," Alice reassured me.

"She's right, Bell. You two are going to be kick-ass parents," Rosalie fell in.

"No, Rose, _Emmett and you_ will be kick-ass parents. _Edward and I_, we will…Edward will probably spoil our kid to death and I will have to put a stop to it every time it gets out of hand," I chuckled.

"Yeah, that sounds like our dear brother Edward," Rose snickered.

"Oh my gosh, I just got the most epic revelation!" Alice cried out. "With you being pregnant, it means I'll become an auntie _twice_ in six months! Can I design the first clothes for your little one, Bella? Please? Please?" she pleaded.

I rolled my eyes. "You _may_ design _a part_ of his or her wardrobe, yes. Don't get too excited, though, Alice. It's just four, five weeks old. It's not even the size of a peanut," I told her.

"Thank you, Bella!" she beamed. "And I don't care. My nephews and nieces will get the best of the best of my fashion designing skills. I will look after it they won't _ever_ have a fashion faux pas."

"Alice," Rosalie and I heaved a sigh.

"What?" she retorted innocently.

"When are you going to tell Edward? Does he know already?" Rose asked.

My heart sank at the mentioning of Edward, who didn't know yet he would become a father.

"He doesn't know, yet. I found out yesterday. I'm thinking about telling him on my birthday, as that will be the first time I will see him face-to-face again," I said in a small voice.

Both their silences were loud enough. They clearly didn't approve and thought Edward should have known first.

I understood.

The Cullen's were _very_ protective over each other, and both Rosalie and Alice were no exceptions. Since Edward was the most sensitive, apart from Honor Rose, his parents and siblings were protective of him the most, even if it didn't show. They were like wild female cats looking over their cubs. Also, Edward was the one with overall the most media attention and therefore getting the biggest shit load of paparazzi and gossipers. To Alice, Edward was like a knight – she knew he'd flaws, sure, and she knew he was far from perfect, but Edward… he was her hero; Rosalie and Edward had been quarreling a lot, still do to this day, but Rose… she really was like a lioness watching over her family, Edward included.

"I don't want to tell him over the phone," I explained. "I want to see his face. I know it's cruel, really, I do, but I want to be able to touch him and really look in his eyes when I tell him."

"You're still in LA now, right?"

"Yeah, but I'll be going to Forks tomorrow."

"Why? You just saw Charlie."

"I haven't been there since ages. I want to check up on him, you know. Help him out. Clean the house, make some good meals for him…and tell him."

"Who knows already?"

"My Mom, she was with me when the results came back…Maya knows as well…and now you two."

"Should we wait telling Emmett and Jasper?"

"I would appreciate that. I want to tell Edward first, I don't want him to know last, he's the father after all. Besides, nothing is certain, yet. I'm still in the high danger zone, you know."

"Yeah. Em and I waited till I was twelve weeks along before we told anybody aside from Esme, but it means a lot to me you want to share it with us now already."

"Don't you worry, Bella. I know your baby won't die prematurely. It's a strong one," Alice said sincerely, as if she'd never been certain of anything in her life.

"I hope so, too. We'll just have to wait and see, though," I sighed, the thought of my baby not getting to life outside my womb making my heart and throat clench, my blood running cold.

I had to know, I had to ask it, them who'd known Edward for such a long time already. "What do you think Edward's reaction will be?" I asked.

Alice and Rose were silent for a few seconds before the first one spoke.

"Oh, Bella. Do you think Edward will be angry or shocked? He will be surprised, yes, but _angry_? No way. He'll probably end up blaming himself because he got you knocked up while you were far from ready to become a mom and for ruining your career. Aside from that, Edward will be so fucking _happy_, Bella. My brother loves you so much. He's always wanted to have kids, he's always wanted to have kids with _you_. You don't have to worry about anything. Edward loves kids, he's really good with them, too."

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Bella, don't worry, honey. Really, don't. If you ever need help or advice, we will always be there for you, we will always have your back."

"Thanks. I love you, guys."

"Would you like to know the sex?" Alice continued.

"Nope. Maybe I will change my mind later, but right now…I'd like it to be a surprise. Also, once Edward knows, all I'll be focusing on is making it through that first three months and hoping with all I have my pregnancy won't end up in a miscarriage. I just want my baby happy and healthy."

"That's the spirit!"

"Ladies, my man's getting impatient. He's been wanting my advice on something for the entire duration of this phone call. I've decided to cut him some slack, since he's been overly supportive and sweet for my pregnant, hormonal and emotional ass," Rosalie informed us.

Alice and I laughed.

"Tell him we said hello!"

We promised each other we would give our hellos to our distinctive partners and Alice would inform Edward she had had a call with me and Rose – not about the whereabouts, of course – and said our goodbyes.

As I sunk back on the collapsed, worn-out couch, all the emotions I'd felt since yesterday noon came back to me.

Was I doing the right thing? Was I doing the right thing by not telling Edward straight away?

I knew what I needed to get some peace, but that wasn't really an option, since the solution was 3000 miles away from me and busy filming his scenes. From the set, he probably would head straight to the studio for his talk show appearance.

To get my mind off the depressing thoughts my brains were heading to, I switched on the TV. Apparently, somebody had last watched some sort of entertainment channel, as news flashes featuring Edward streamed on the screen.

It was repeats from last night and it was all about Edward's latest moves and spots. Some also included Tanya, some included his mysterious girlfriend. Me.

* * *

**Did you expect she would get pregnant? Let me know what you think. Baby names suggestions are already very welcome, as I'm in the unknown myself. Boys names, girls names…anything. I really, really would love to hear your suggestions, names you would think would fit Edward and Bella's kid.**

**Don't forget that beautiful little button. :)**

**If you're lucky, maybe chapter 4 will be up tonight as well. Maybe.**

**xoxo**

* * *

**UPDATE, July 2011: This chapter came out quite different than the previously published version. Bella didn't go to New Haven – because, let's be honest, it really did not make sense. It's all way more logical, realistic now, I think.**


	4. Surprise time

**UPDATE, 24th July 2011:  
As for now, this chapter has been edited and revised. Apart from grammar changes, substantive changes (might) have been made as well. I enlarged the background story and went more into detail. If you want to know what exactly is different than before, just ask.**

**Beta'd by the amazing **_**With The What Now**_**.**

* * *

**Next one's up. My apologies to those who'd expected this chapter to be up yesterday. Here it is now, though! As soon as I finished typing it up, a minute ago that is, I published it.**

**Again, I'm freaking stunned by the amount of people reading this thing. The rating exploded yesterday. Thank you thank you thank you. Looks like **_**Dating Fame**_** will get more popular than my other story **_**Sun, BFF's and Love in LA**_**. **

**Thank you to **_**Samirabws**_** and **_**teambellaedward**_** for reviewing. xxx**

**Another A/N at the bottom.**

_~Chapter 4~  
*Surprise time*  
by SoaneLucy13_

* * *

Having said goodbye to Maya after she'd given me a ride to LAX, I arrived at Sea-Tac Airport around 1 PM local time some hours later.

Although I luckily didn't have to deal with time differences, the few hours-flight _did_ leave me worn-out. Besides, I didn't have a car and Charlie himself wasn't able to pick me up since he had a case he needed to finalize.

I decided to ring Angela, asking her if she wanted to get me to the Chief's house. I knew she was free for a couple of weeks, and I hoped she might have time to drive back and forth between Seattle and Forks.

"Of course, Bella. It'll be good to have you back in Washington. I'll see you at the airport," she'd let me know over the phone when I'd called her the other evening.

As she drove away from Sea-Tac, folk-ish music softly playing in the background, I couldn't contain myself, despite the fact Edward didn't know, yet; despite the fact I was in such an unsure situation.

"I'm pregnant," I told her.

Angela's eyes dilated slightly before a big smile appeared on her face. "Whoa, Bells. That's amazing. When are you due?"

"April, maybe May, I think. I just found out a few days ago, and I'm figuring I got pregnant on Maya's birthday, which is the first of August, so…"

"You know, I've got to say I'm not that surprised, actually," she confessed.

"I mean, I know the two of you just wanted to take it easy you know…since you're about to start the finalization of your minors and Edward has tons of projects lined up for the next two years, and the two of you still being quite young… but you've been together with him for so long, ever since high school. Not only that, you've braved the pressure that comes with dating a Hollywood star. Like Edward, you're an old soul. In some ways, the two of you are so much older than anybody our age. I think a part of you have long been ready for children."

While Angela still was much like the shy, quiet girl I'd befriended at Forks High, it didn't mean she never spoke up. She was very perceptive and took in a lot of information and knew a lot about what was going on around her.

"Ang…" I started.

"No, really, Bella," she smiled. "I mean it."

I didn't really know what to say, so I nervously moved my teeth over a hang nail and gazed out of the window.

"Are you going to see a doctor?" Angela asked, breaking through my reverie.

"Uhm…I don't…I haven't really looked into it that much. I want to tell Edward first, he doesn't know yet, 'cause I don't want to tell him over the phone, before anything else, you know?"

"Good point. I think most people have their first doctor's appointment after twelve weeks anyway, so you've got the time."

"Yeah, I heard something about that, too," I mused. "But what about you and Eric? How are things?"

At me mentioning her boyfriend, Ang's lips pulled up in a big smile and her eyes got that twinkling in her eyes I knew I got too when Edward's name came up in conversations. "Great, really great. Eric's landed an internship at this amazing music magazine, based in Seattle. I'm so proud of him. I'm working with little kids at a pre-school close to our apartment. Eric and I are enjoying the city life. I never thought I would become a city girl, you know, having lived in a small town for my entire life till graduation."

"That's great, Ange. Anything of interest happened in the small town of Forks?"

"As for the rez, Sam Uley…you know him right?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Well, he and Emily Young tied the knot. They've got two kids, Levi and Karah, and Emily is expecting their third, a boy. Jared got engaged to Kim, Embry has fallen in love with a Dutch exchange student. As for our old group of friends, Jess and Mike are just Jess and Mike, as you know. They break up all the time and get back together the next week. They're thinking of moving in together at a place in San Francisco. My little brothers are in high school, it's so hilarious."

"Man, I've missed so much. Remind me that I have to stop by your parents'."

"Will do," she smiled. "How long are you going to stay?"

"A week, I think. My birthday is in ten days, but I haven't decided on a location to celebrate it, yet. It could be New York or LA or New Haven or maybe at my mom's in Jacksonville or even here, or somewhere else entirely. I'll see."

"Okay. I asked, 'cause I was thinking, you know, we could go together for dinner, the five of us and we could ask Tyler, too. What about the day after tomorrow in the evening? That will give you time to rest, tell Charlie and spend some quality time with your old man."

"Sounds great. I haven't seen you guys in ages. You should definitely ask Tyler. Still joking and messing?"

Tyler Crowley was a Goddamn hilarious human being, and a great buddy. Edward wasn't such a fan of him, possessive ass that he was, because he thought Tyler was making a move on me, while he was just messing around.

"Yep," Angela laughed. _Sounded like he had gotten himself in some dirty shit. Again. _"Still getting in trouble. He made a move on the girlfriend of a boxer. Not such a good idea."

I laughed. "What an ass."

"Tell me about it," she chuckled. "I'll call the others and let you know about the plans tomorrow. Sounds good?"

"Thanks."

Angela and I continued talking about this and that, and the hours flew by. Before I knew it, we'd arrived at my house, where I'd lived the first three years of my life as well as from my seventeenth till graduation.

We said goodbye with a hug and I stepped out, walking up to the house.

"Hello?" My dad's usual openings sentence if you entered the house sounded through the hallway.

"Dad, it's me, Bella."

"Bella? What are you doing here?" he asked surprised, as I heard him standing up from his place in the living room and walking over to the hallway.

"I just wanted to pay my dad a visit. Bad timing?"

"No, of course not, honey," he smiled and took me in an awkward hug.

Another thing I got from Charlie: we weren't really good in showing emotions. Maya was more like my mom, graceful, amazing in sports and very brave. She also had Renee's blue eyes. What she had gotten from Charlie, which I clearly hadn't, was her obsession with baseball and basketball. They always watched together, leaving me on my own.

"Is the TV free for tonight?" I questioned him as I put down my bags in the hallway.

"For you always, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad."

"What's there to see tonight that has gotten your attention?"

"Oh, err…Edward has a talk show appearance, it's live. He insisted I should watch it."

My dad nodded curtly. "Everything okay between you two?"

Charlie would always ask that. Partly because he just wanted to look after me, even if I lived across the country and would be twenty-three in two weeks; partly because Charlie wasn't Edward's biggest fan.

My Dad had been furious at Edward when he chose a film project over me, leaving me on my own and heartsick for six months. Charlie had never really forgiven him for that, even if it was nearly five years ago, he still couldn't get his head around it.

Luckily for Edward, his character in that movie was suffering from depression, so he didn't have to torture himself only more by trying to cover up his sadness.

"Yes, Dad. We're doing even better than okay. There's something I want to tell you, though, but don't freak out, please."

Charlie's face fell into a scale of expressions, before settling on shock. I decided it would be best to tell him in a comfortable environment and took him to the living room.

"Dad, I'm, uhm…" _Oh god, how was I going to say this? Just right away, then, huh?_ "Dad, I'm pregnant."

"You're _what_?"

I patted his shoulder. "I'm pregnant, Dad. I'm due somewhere around April. And yes, Edward is the father."

His eyes blinked a couple of times before he was able to speak. "_Pregnant_? Bella, you're in your last year of college."

"Dad, I already have my degree. I'm just doing minors. I might be able to manage school and take my finals at the end of the year. No matter what, though, I'm gonna keep the baby, that's for sure."

"Does Edward know?" he questioned.

Why oh why did Charlie always know how to touch my week spot?

"No, not yet. I want to tell him face-to-face, so I'm waiting till I'll see him."

Once again, I felt really bad. Edward, the father of this little miracle inside of me, would know it as one of the last people who would know firsthand. This wasn't something I wanted to tell over the phone, though. I wanted to see his face. I needed it.

"Well, uhm, I'm really happy for you two. I knew something like this was going to happen. Thank God, you've at least passed the twenty mark and are officially and adult. Thank God you're not in your teens anymore. I mean, I've always known you would be a great mother, Bells. You've always known how to take care of everyone - your mother, May, and me, too, kiddo. Your baby will be a lucky kid," he stated, sounding as he was more talking to himself than to me.

"And I know what I've said about Edward, but that's just because he took away my daughter in _high school_, for Christ's sake. I'm your _father_, Isabella, and you're my little girl. I can see how happy that boy makes you, and how happy you make him, though. The kid's got a great family, as well, very nice parents and the kids are all very well-raised. I know I'm just a simple, plain chief of police in a small town in a thinly populated state, but I think I can imagine how hard it is to be an actor's girlfriend, how hard it is for _you_. You cope so well, though, Bells. I'm proud of you," Charlie said sincerely, if not awkwardly, his cheeks slightly flushed.

I shifted uncomfortably. "Eh, thanks, dad." I gave him a hug. I always got uncomfortable when we talked relationships and all. Just as Charlie did.

"A _grandfather_. I'm becoming a _grandfather_. I have to say I think myself a bit too young, though, Bells. Couldn't you have wait for a few years more?"

"Dad, this isn't a planned pregnancy. If it would have been up to me, I might have chose to wait for a little while longer, too, but I _am_ pregnant now. I should have taken my pills better. It might not be the best time, but it's how it is. I'm okay with it."

Charlie huffed. "I should have a talk with Carlisle, bond a little. It's good I won't be the only one becoming a grandfather."

I smiled, grateful for the effort my father was willing to make for this baby. "You know, Carlisle will become a grandfather twice in six months. Rosalie is due next month."

"Ah, now you say. I hope this doesn't inspire Maya to get knocked up, too. She's only just turned twenty." His brow furrowed at the thought and I could see his hands balling into fists.

Although Charlie was like most Dad's, protective over his daughters and pretending to be hard on their boyfriends, it was Maya who got the most of his "father attitude." Not because she was his favorite, I knew Charlie loved us both equally, but because she was far more childlike than me. I'd always been some sort of old soul, mature…Maya was more prone to changes, to temptations. My sister was really the junior of our family.

"Dad, don't start. I wouldn't want that, either, but if it happens, so be it. We can't control everything in our lives."

"True. Doesn't mean I like it, though," he huffed, before he stood up, standing in the middle of the living room awkwardly.

"So, eh, you're hungry?" he asked me.

At the mentioning of hungry, my stomach suddenly awakened and growled loudly.

"Pretty much, yeah. Gotta eat for two, right?" I joked.

He gulped, but his lips pulled up in a smile not much later, so I knew he was over the biggest shock and was starting to adjust to me being pregnant. "Pizza okay with you? I'll order, so you can watch your whatever it was. You mind if I go out to visit Billy's?"

"Pizza sounds good. I don't know what it is exactly, either. Edward said he would do a live interview, Vladimir Waszwoski, Ste's second cousin, but that's all I know. It's your house, Dad, do whatever you feel like. Say hello to Billy from me, will you?"

"Will do."

As soon as he'd gone to the kitchen to call for pizza, I turned on the TV. It was just a few minutes to six.

As I changed the TV channel to NBC, a vibration in my pocket alerted me to a text, and digging it out, I saw it was from Edward. Didn't he have an interview? Shouldn't he be in make-up or something?

'_You watching NBC, love?' _it read.

' _I hate surprises, Edward Cullen' _I replied.

His reply came back to me almost immediately '_:). I know. Have 2 go. Can't wait to see you again, love. Counting down. Love you, forever and always. Yours, Edward.'_

I groaned at the thought of the...nine days…I would have to get through without him being at my side.

I put down my phone on the coffee table and turned my attention back to the flat screen, nervously counting down till it was 6 PM.

The opening credits of Vladimir's show started and soon it showed him sitting in his chair, looking at the audience before he would start the show.

"Welcome, welcome, to you all. I've got a very special guest tonight. I'm very honored he made time to be here tonight. Among his early roles are those in _The Patriot_ and _House M.D_., he got amazing reviews for his portrayals in this year's _Faceless_ and _Crazy Heart_, just finished off _Simply Being_ and is now busy filming his newest movie, _Don't You Forget Me_, here in New York City. Not only that, he's a very talented musician, is in a band with my dear second cousin Stefan called Vampire Heart, and also models. Please give it up for the one and only Edward Cullen, ladies and gentleman!" he said excitingly, announcing my boyfriend.

The camera turned to the side of the stage where Edward appeared from behind the corner, looking handsome as ever in his faded yellow jeans, The Smiths band tee, his favorite black Nike trainers and plaid blouse.

Dear Lord, I loved this guy.

Upon his entrance, the audience went ballistic and Edward waved to them shyly, making them scream even louder.

He and Vladmir greeted each other by taking the other in a guy hug, before they each sat down in the big arm chairs.

"Is it always like this?" Vladimir asked him, motioning to the screaming audience.

"Yeah, kind of," Edward shrugged, smiling shyly.

"Alright, people, this is supposed to be a _talk_ show. I would be very grateful if you could be quiet for an hour or so, so I can actually _talk_ with this guy, you know," he joked, trying to get the audience to be quiet.

It did seem to help, and after they'd laughed about his joke, it was silent enough for him to have a normal conversation with Edward.

"So, you managed to find a gap in your schedule?"

"I did, yeah," Edward nodded.

"How are you, how's life? You've been very busy lately, right?"

"Yeah, I have, but it's not that it bothered me or anything. I love acting, I love making movies. I've been very lucky to have gotten the chance to be part of some terrific projects recently. I feel very honored."

"I've known you since you befriended my second cousin Stefan, with whom I'm pretty close. You're not the only one in your family who's in the business, am I right?"

"No, I'm not. My youngest sister, Honor Rose, is an actress. Alice, my other younger sister, is a fashion designer, but she frequently does wardrobe, too. My siblings and I all have done modelling jobs, and we still do some when we have the spare time. Also, my aunt, Sian Cullen, is a script writer. So yeah, many of my family have dipped into the film business pool."

"What's that like, to be part of a family of which several members are working in the entertainment business?" Vladimir asked, propping his leg up on his other knee.

"Hectic," Edward admitted. "There were times we hardly saw each other. We all had busy lives; acting, baseball, martial arts, modelling. Not only that, but we also had to go to school like any other person our age. I've spent my childhood in five different places, but when I was sixteen, we settled in a small, peaceful town up north. It was very liberating. Now, as we're all older and have outgrown childhood, we've been able to find more time for each other. It's still hectic, though," he smiled.

"There's no competition between you and your siblings?"

"No, absolutely not. We're all very supportive of each other. Honor Rose is the only one aside from me who acts. We go for completely different roles. It's important, to have and give that support. I don't know what I would have done without the never-ending support of my family and friends. It means so much to a person, so much to a child, to a teenager, to a young adult."

I sat there watching him, 3000 miles away from him, but still feeling so close to him. It almost seemed as if he was sitting just a few feet away from me. I hugged a pillow close to me as I tried to suppress the squeals of pride and adoration bubbling up in my throat.

Vladimir nodded understandingly. He, too, came from an entertainment family. His father was a renowned choreographer, his mother a producer. Other members of his family worked in the music business, as well as in film and fashion.

"You're currently filming on location here in New York. Can you tell anything about this new movie of yours?"

"It's called _Don't You Forget Me_. The script is completely awesome; the first time I read it, I just fell in love with it immediately. It's got an amazing and really cool cast and crew, as well. Alice is partly responsible for my wardrobe, and she's had and _is_ having a blast shopping for clothes and dressing me. It's nice to have some family around," Edward explained, the excitement he felt for this film really coming through.

"What about the movie itself? What's it about?" Vladimir questioned.

"_Don't You Forget Me _is about this guy in his early twenties, who's lost his older brother to suicide, something he still has troubles with, who still has family issues. Then there's this young woman, who's seen her mother getting shot and killed in front of her eyes when she was a little girl. They meet and eventually fall in love, but they carry around quite a bit of baggage...it isn't an easy relationship."

"So it's a heavy film in terms of emotion?"

Edward nodded. "It has some sweet stuff, too, though. It's not some puffed up, sugar-sweet romantic story or anything, far from it. That's what I like about it. _Don't You Forget Me_ is very raw and realistic, sad, but also sweet and building. Tyler is a great guy to play."

"Now, I have to ask you…everyone wants to know and I have to serve my audience, you know, even if I know the truth as an acquaintance of yours, what's with you and your lovely and gorgeous co-star Tanya Denali?" Vladimir grinned.

Okay, if you guys are gonna talk about the lovely Tanya all night, I was out.

Why did Edward want me to watch this?

Edward laughed, shaking his head. "Tanya's cool. She's nice to hang out with, good actress, too. She's perfect for this role, she really nailed it. Tanya isn't just a model-turned-actress, she's really got talent," he said with a face that gave nothing away.

"To hang out with? Nothing more? These say something else entirely," Vladimir retorts, holding up several tabloid magazines.

"You believe them over me? I'm hurt," my boyfriend chuckled. "You really shouldn't believe the tabloids, they're always writing rubbish. Tanya is an amazing friend, and that's it, nothing more. Besides, I'm already long taken."

A smile appeared on his face which I was sure could have lit up the entire city, and he looked into the camera for a split-second, as if he was doing that just for me. I felt my lips pull up into a smile of my own.

_I love you, Edward Cullen._

"You're taken?" Vladimir pretended to be surprised, acting as if he was on the brick of a meltdown. "Oh my God, my whole life just got destroyed. Edward Cullen is taken," he fake-wailed, making the audience laugh.

"No, seriously, we knew already. Some just didn't want to give into it, keeping believing you were still available, there was still a chance you would marry one of them. They probably will always hope on that, but I can tell you, he's pretty serious about this girl. Right?"

Edward smiled shyly. "Yeah, I am. Have been for a long time already, since my eighteenth. I never want anyone else but her."

A blush crept up my cheeks and neck.

Told you Edward could make you go boneless with words. It wasn't fair at times.

"That's a _long_ time, indeed. So, you've been together with her for five years now…"

"Five-and-a-half years," Edward corrected him.

"Five_-and-a-half _years, my bad. How come nobody outside your circle knows who she is? What does she do? I mean, I know all about her, but these people here…I'm sure they would love to hear all about her, don't you?" he asked the audience, who erupted in a new fit of screams.

"Okay, because you want to know so desperately. She doesn't work in 'the business'," he revealed, making air quotes when he spoke out 'the business'. "She obtained her degree in English Literature at Yale this spring, she's finishing off minors in writing, music and history this year. Her twenty-third birthday is coming up soon..."

"Edward," I hissed, having grown uncomfortable due to him talking about me and sharing information with the entire world.

I looked around me and noticed that Charlie had gone. I didn't want to miss anything from the interview, though, to look if he'd left a note or anything.

"Happy birthday!" a girl from the audience called.

Edward and Vladimir turned their heads to the audience, to look for the girl. Edward's lips pulled up in yet another smile.

"Thank you, I'll tell her," he said, before turning back to Vladimir. He grabbed one of the cups on Vladimir's desk and took a few swigs.

"You met her at high school, right?"

"Yeah. I've never used the term before, but it is true, actually, we're high school sweethearts," Edward chuckled.

I rolled my eyes at the term. We'd never seen each other as high school sweethearts. It didn't fit us.

Vladimir laughed. "Let's get serious now. Your girlfriend has been in the dark all this time. Why?"

"Because she asked me to. She's very fond of her privacy. Although I would have rather paraded her around and shown her to everyone who made me so happy, I completely understand where she's coming from. She has to go with her heart…if she feels it isn't right, she shouldn't do it."

"Her name is Bella, or so I've heard."

Edward chuckled at Vladimir, who knew damn well who I was, but was pretending to be in the dark as well to make it more interesting.

"Isabella, but she prefers to be called Bella," Edward confirmed, and then he turned to the camera again. "I know you're watching, Bella. I love you, always remember that."

It lasted for only a few seconds, but man...it turned me on. He'd left me completely speechless, and I sat there on the couch with my mouth hanging open like a fish on the land.

"She's best friends with Alice, and Honor is best friends with her younger sister," he continued, having turned back to Vladimir again.

"Take that, tabloids. Is this enough for you to realize Edward Cullen really is in a serious relationship, and not with some movie star, but with Isabella, an almost twenty-three-year-old Yale student?" Vladimir asked into the camera.

"Now, to get to the real deal, Edward's going to give a little performance here."

"That's the plan."

"There's the stage," Vladimir pointed to a smaller side-stage. "Everything's set."

"Thanks," Edward said, standing up and walking off to the stage to get ready.

Vladimir turned to camera. "An exclusive concert of Edward Cullen, people," he announced him.

The camera turned to the other stage, on which they'd placed a baby grand piano and a microphone on top of it.

"This one's for you, my Bella. I've always loved you, I love you now and I _will_ always love you. Look after my heart, I've left it with you," he introduced his performance.

"Oh my God," I exclaimed, putting my hands on my mouth in awe.

And Edward started to move his fingers over the keys, in the way only he could. The tones he produced on the piano bored right through my skin into my bones, sending shivers through my entire body.

He begun with _my_ lullaby, which he'd composed so many years ago, in the early stages of our relationship, at a time when our love bloomed.

The tears that had already been brimming in my eyes were rolling down my cheeks now.

From my lullaby, he went straight into a composition of Chopin that was Esme's favorite and which Edward had prolonged with a few notes inspired by her.

Edward didn't pause as he ended Esme's song and continued with a piece he'd written for Alice, because she'd wanted Edward to make her a song for her eighth birthday. She hadn't wanted anything else if Edward wouldn't do it.

After Alice's song, he fell into a composition he'd written for Honor, a song so sweet and soothing. Edward had written it when he was fourteen and she'd been in the hospital for her appendix inflammation. The worry and fear he'd felt for his little sister was very evident in his composition. Apart from my lullaby, it was my favorite of his pieces.

Edward was the most talented, caring and sweetest person I'd ever met. At times, he might express it in a rather odd way, but he meant it and he was true. If you'd grown familiar with his ways, you would see how much effort Edward would put in everything he did, in everything he gave to his family, to me, to his friends, to his work.

I wondered if he would write a song for our baby as well. I hoped so.

"That's your daddy, little one. Talented, isn't he? Not only that, he's also breathtakingly beautiful and sweet. Momma loves him very much," I spoke to my baby, looking down and putting a hand on my not-yet-existent baby bump,

He finished off with Debussy's Clair De Lune.

When he'd finished, he received a standing ovation from the audience and Vladimir, as well as from crew members who were shown by the cameras. Several people had tears in their eyes.

I stood up, too and cheered on as much as I could, even if I knew he wouldn't be able to hear.

"Thank you, Edward, for giving this beautiful concert. That Isabella is one lucky lady. Thank you, too, Edward for crashing the show," he said to Edward before he turned to the camera.

"Edward will be in New York City until the end of October to shoot _Don't You Forget Me_. You can see him in cinemas in _Parallel Universe_, which will hit theatres in November. _Ashland_, which was a big winner at this year's Sundance, will be released on DVD in December. Next project in the stacks is _Occupy Rangers_, a brother-sister drama to be filmed in London, in which he will star alongside his real-life youngest sister Honor Rose Cullen. Please give a big applause for Edward Cullen, all!"

I turned off the TV as soon as another program came on and laid down on the couch, exhausted from the flight and of missing Edward. Especially emotionally, it had been a few very tough days.

Not much later, I was woken up by Charlie.

"Bella," he whispered as he shook me awake.

"Yeah?" I answered sleepily, blinking my eyes to adjust to the light.

"Pizza's here. The pizza courier rang, but you didn't open the door. I warmed them up," he told me, leaving my side to sit down at the table.

I followed his actions and sat down across from him, ready to dive into my pizza. My, I was famished.

"Your mother and Alice have been trying to reach you on the phone. You better give them a call."

Whoa, I must have been sleeping really deeply.

"Okay."

I waited a few seconds to see if he'd anything more to say, and when I realized he wouldn't, I dove right away into the pizza on my plate.

Never, ever had I eaten an entire pizza, or an entire pizza of this size. What could I say? Me and my baby were just very, very hungry.

Charlie looked at me as if I'd just grown a second head.

"Baby on board," I defended myself in between mouthfuls of pizza.

My Dad shook his head at me as he returned to his own plate and took a swig from his vitamin R.

After I'd finished, I checked my phone. I had several missed calls and messages, indeed. One was from Edward, shortly after the show, the rest were from my mother and Alice.

I decided to give my best friend a ring first.

"Hey Bella," she greeted me.

In the background I could make up voices and the beat of music. Guess she was in some sort of bar or something.

"Hi Alice. Sorry, I fell asleep. What's up?"

"Have you seen it?" she questioned.

"Have I seen what?"

"Vladimir's show, dumb-ass."

"Of course I have. Edward persisted on me watching it. You knew about it," I stated, made up from the tone in her voice.

Of course, Alice would know about it. She and Edward told each other almost everything. Although Alice was one year and ten days younger than him, she and Edward were as close as if they were twins.

"Kind of," she admitted. "I knew more than you. You haven't spoken to him yet, have you, since the show I mean?"

"No." _I wish I had, though._

"Thought so. He's looking so sad and down-y at the moment. He misses you _so_ much," she said.

I heard her saying something to somebody next to her, but I couldn't make out what she said exactly. Then she was back on the phone. "Hold on, I'll give him to you."

"Alice, wait!" I tried to stop her.

Although I really wanted to talk to Edward, I didn't really know what to say.

It was already too late. Alice handed over the phone, the sound of people talking and music increasing before Edward's eager and relieved voice sounded in my ear. "Bella?"

The sound of his voice opened the gates that had been holding up my emotions and I fell into a rush of words. "Edward, that interview…what you said about me…it was…" and the tears made it impossible to go on.

"Bella? Bella, did I say the wrong things?" he asked worried.

Of course, Edward would immediately go out and blame himself and think the worst.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I just couldn't bottle it up anymore. Bella, please, don't be mad at me. It was selfish, I kn-" he rambled.

"Edward, no," I stopped him. "I _loved_ it. It's left me glowing. What you said, it means so much to me. I'm so proud of you, honey."

Edward sighed in relief. "Thank you. It means a lot to me you think that," he admitted humbly.

I smiled at his humble way of taking on compliments. My shy man.

"The little concert…it was beautiful, sweetie. Vladimir was one hundred percent right. I _am_ one hell of a lucky woman."

"And I am one hell of a lucky man to have you as my woman, Isabella," Edward said sincerely.

Before I could reply to his statement, his mood had changed and he spoke again, in an entirely different tone than just a mere second ago.

"Bella," he started off desperately. "I just can't bear it anymore. Where are you?"

"What?" I squeaked, taking aback by his question and tone. "Err…I'm in Forks. Why?" I answered him after I'd regained my intellectual powers.

"_Forks_? What are you doing in _Forks_, Bella?"

"Just visiting my good old man," I defended myself.

"Oh, okay," he regained himself. "I'm coming over. Tomorrow."

_Wait? What? Coming over? Tomorrow? Edward?_

"Coming over? Tomorrow? You can't do that, Edward. You're in the midst of filming a movie! You don't have that freedom to just walk off whenever you want to. You're part of a crew, Edward. People, lots of people, depend on you. You cant just leave and ditch!" I half-yelled.

"I'll only be away for a day or two. They should be able to shoot the scenes I'm not in during my absence. Everyone knows my personal life is way more important than my professional life. I _have_ to ask you something, I _have_ to say something to you. I also want to know _your_ news is, it has been on my mind all day."

"You know _I personally _wouldn't mind if you would come, I would love it. Should I come pick you up from the airport?" I giggled, already high from the thought of being able to see Edward tomorrow.

_TOMORROW_!

He laughed. "Of course you wouldn't mind, and I would love it if you would come pick me up."

After fighting over who would hang-up first, we decided to hang up in unison. As we'd said our goodbyes and he'd promised me I would get to see him tomorrow again, I called my mom.

She'd seen Edward's talk show appearance as well and had just wanted to check on me.

I said goodnight to Charlie and called it a night, taking a shower before I would duck into bed.

"We will see Daddy tomorrow, little one," I told my baby, moving my hand over my flat belly.

I ducked under the covers and soon fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I would see Edward in less than twenty-four hours.

**What do you think? Don't ignore that button down the page. Give it a few seconds and then go on with whatever you were doing before you read this.**

**I just picked some movies and shows for Edward to play in. I know the movies have all been released in several years and on several dates. But it's fiction, right?**

**Play-list  
**_Death Cab for Cutie - Soul Meets Body  
Death Cab for Cutie - Meet Me On The Equinox  
Death Cab for Cutie - Summer Skin  
Kings of Leon - Wasted Time  
Kings of Leon - Use Somebody  
Muse - Starlight  
Muse - Time is Running Out  
Radiohead - Videotape  
Radiohead - Weird Fishes / Arpeggi  
Led Zeppelin - Dazed and Confused  
Craig David - Insomnia_

* * *

**Update, 24th July 2011: the interview has become quite different than the original. I also changed Edward's movies. **_**Don't You Forget Me**_** is kind of like **_**Remember Me**_**, but a little different. I decided to use as many fictional movies as possible, as I don't want too much of real-life in the story. That's why I came up with fictional movie titles. I will post a full list of Edward's filmography in an outtake or something.**


	5. Special Sunday

**UPDATED, 1st October 2011:  
As of now, this chapter has been edited and revised. Apart from grammar changes, substantive changes (might) have been made as well. I enlarged the background story and went more into detail. If you want to know what exactly is different than before, just ask.**

**Beta'd by the amazing **_**With The What Now**_**.**

* * *

***checks FanFiction page. Sees count of hits. Faints* Okay, well, it didn't go like that exactly, but still. Dating Fame has reached the 1,000 hits! Holy fucking bat shit, dudes! Do you know how freaking awesome that is! I never, ever expected that. **

**MAJOR thanks to ChameleonxBookworm, for reviewing so loyally and suggesting some names, they're great, and you will see if you're right. Thanks too, to Deboraa, teambellaedward, and Vamp4475. Getting reviews means A LOT to me.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all owned by Stephenie Meyer. Honor Rose Cullen and Maya Swan are mine, though. I **_**do **_**own the love for Edward's silver Volvo and any Mini Cooper(My dream car is a black/dark blue/golden/silver Coop with a British flagged roof and side mirrors), as well as the smile that appears whenever I see a Volvo or Mini Cooper. ^_^.**

_~Chapter 5~  
* Special Sunday*  
by SoaneLucy13_

* * *

I woke up with a smile still on my face and fell into a crazy fit of laughter and giggles and squeals as the realization I would get to see Edward in just a few hours hit me full force again.

After I'd calmed down, I reached over to my nightstand table for my phone. I'd switched it back on and I was welcomed by the melody of Clair De Lune, alerting me Edward had sent me a text. He must have sent it while I was asleep.

He'd written he would land at Sea-Tac at 11 AM.

It was now 8.30. _Shit_.

I would never be able to make it in time. The drive to Seattle would take up to 3 hours. I would at least be half an hour too late, even if I were willing to speed, which was impossible with a truck that's unwilling to hit more than sixty.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

And as if my current situation wasn't bad enough, I felt a sudden wave of nausea hitting my throat as I rushed out of bed to make a hurry.

_No fucking !_

With a hand in front of my mouth, I made it to the bathroom as quickly as I could and collapsed down at the toilet, throwing up the entire fill of my stomach.

_FUCK. Fuck. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!_

As I was leaning over the toilet, tears of frustration and anger and missing Edward rolled over my cheeks and I couldn't suppress a few groans coming from my mouth.

Apparently, the sounds I made weren't hard to miss and soon I heard Charlie coming running up the stairs, asking me if I was okay.

"I'm okay, Dad," I croaked, the feeling and taste of puke in my throat and on my tongue nearly making me throw up all over again. "It's just morning sickness."

"_Just_ morning sickness? It sure as hell doesn't look like that to me, Isabella," Charlie bellowed with a shaking voice.

I wanted to argue and say it was, but then I remembered my Dad had witnessed a pregnancy from up close twice.

"Edward's coming today. His plane lands in two-and-a-half-hours, and I said I would pick him up. I woke up late, and now this…I will never make it on time. To make it worse, I feel and look like crap, and…," I sobbed.

"Err…well…," he stuttered, not knowing what to do, but wanting to solve my problem nonetheless. "Just relax, Bella. Do you know if Carlisle and Esme are home? I could call them, they could drive you to the airport," he proposed.

I saw he was actually just as panicked as I was, but at least he'd come up with a solution.

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that," I beamed, jumping up hastily.

Too fast.

A new wave of nausea hit my stomach and I wobbled on my legs.

Charlie pushed me back on the floor. "You stay here, and I'll go and call them."

He left the door open as he descended the stairs to make a call.

From my spot on the bathroom floor, I could hear his side of the phone conversation.

"Carlisle, hey. I'm calling for a favor. Bella was supposed to pick up Edward from the airport this morning, but she doesn't feel like driving herself. She really wants to go and meet him, though. Could you maybe drive her? I don't have the time to do it myself, so…"

_Silence._

"Thank you."

_Silence._

"When his plane lands? I don't know. Hold on, I'll have to ask Bella."

"Bella! What time does Edward's plane land?" he called up the stairs.

"Eleven!" I yelled back.

"Eleven," Charlie told Carlisle.

"Sure, thanks again."

A few seconds later the sound of the horn getting slammed into its holder rang through the house.

"Bella, Carlisle will be here in five minutes. You okay?"

"Yep," I managed to say while having a mouthful of toothpaste in my mouth as I was brushing my teeth to get the god-awful taste from my taste buds.

After I'd finished, I made it back to my room and walked into my closet.

I randomly got something comfortable together, opting for sweatpants, a _Young Blood_ tee – _Young Blood _was the film for which Edward was in London for six months during our senior year– along with a warm cardigan/sweater and boots.

A glance at the digital clock on my nightstand told me I'd already been taking too long and had yet to have some breakfast.

_Fuck dammit!_

Nearly sprinting off the stairs, I rushed to the kitchen to grab something quick to eat.

"You feeling better, kid?" Charlie asked me as I stove past him on my way.

"Yeah," I called out while searching the cabinets.

"Jeez, Dad, how do you survive? Don't tell me you're only eating out."

Seriously, the man had nothing edible in his house.

"I'm healthy and alive, am I not?" my father defended himself from out the living room.

"Sure, Dad," I chuckled, shaking my head.

Luckily, I'd brought two packs of crackers with me. That would have to do.

As I was nibbling from my light-weight crackers, I heard Charlie getting up from the couch, appearing around the corner a moment later.

Without saying anything, he pulled me in a hug, a rather braze action coming from my emotionally-awkward Dad.

"Bells, I just want you to know I'm proud of you. For sticking with your choices, for having morals and for not giving up. Giving up on your baby, on Edward, might be the easy road, but you chose for what you love, for what feels right. It needs a lot of guts to do that, Isabella," he said in a serious tone.

My cheeks flushed a pink-red. "Thanks, Dad. If it wasn't for the support you and Mom have always given me, I wouldn't be who I am now, though."

"Nothing of that, Bella. You've always been perfectly able of taking care of yourself. Speaking of taking care, how's Mayie?"

"She's good. Her room looks really cool, very Maya-like."

"Of course," Charlie chuckled. "Maya Grace is very gifted with a big sister like you, and she knows."

"Dad, butt out, please."

He nodded and retreated back to the doorway leading to the hall and living room. "I spoke with your mother over the phone yesterday, and we were both wondering where you're gonna celebrate your birthday. I mean, it doesn't have to be that big of a deal, but just so we can buy plane tickets, you know."

"I'm still not so sure, to be honest," I admitted. "It could be everywhere. I'm thinking about New York, though, so Edward wouldn't waste that much time on travelling, and he'll be close to set as well."

"That's generous of you. I'm sure Alice, though, has already big plans for the day, knowing her," Charlie smiled.

"I bet she has," I chuckled along.

Just then the doorbell rang, and I shot up to answer it.

"Say hi to Edward for me," Charlie said as he watched me putting on my coat.

"Will do."

I gave him a quick hug before I eagerly opened the door for Carlisle and Esme. We didn't waste time as we said our greetings while walking to Carlisle's black Mercedes.

Edward and his siblings certainly hadn't gotten their driving style from a stranger, since Carlisle sped away the moment the three of us were all in the car.

The car stereo was playing a relaxing instrumental piece and it helped me calm my nerves and heartbeat.

Luckily, the feeling of nausea had vanished. For now, at least.

I was brought out from my reveries by Carlisle saying "Charlie said you didn't feel well. What kind of sickness?"

_Doctors_, I thought, before the nerves kicked back in.

How to tell them? Should I lie? Should I tell plain out?

I figured I might as well just spill it out, since they would get to hear the news anyway and now was a good moment.

"Morning sickness," I said truthfully.

Two pairs of eyes stared at me.

I let it rush out all at once. "I'm sorry for the way of telling you, but I…I'm pregnant. I found out a couple of days ago and Edward doesn't know yet, but I'm going to tell him today. I'm due somewhere in late-April, early-May."

Esme's head spun around in surprise, but a huge smile graced her face, so I knew she was okay with it all. "That's amazing, Bella. I'm so happy for the two of you," she exclaimed, extending her arm to squeeze my hand.

I couldn't help but smile, too, at her excitement.

"Same goes for me," Carlisle added, giving me a genuine smile through the driving mirror.

"If you ever need advice on pregnancy or how to deal with a Cullen while being pregnant of his child, hell on anything, you know where to find me, right?" Esme offered.

"And of course, Rosalie can you tell you all about it, too," she continued.

I smiled gratefully.

Esme was such a compassionate woman, with a great deal of care and love and concern. She might have come off as a quiet, sweet person, but if you even dared to hurt her children, the mother lioness came around the corner and wouldn't hesitate to break your leg.

Also, it was nice knowing I'd so much support around me.

While normally it scared the shit out of me whenever Edward or anybody for that matter was driving like a speed-maniac, I was grateful for the fact Carlisle was driving so fast, because if he wouldn't, I don't think we would have arrived at the airport on time.

Surprisingly, we walked into the airport to see Edward's flight hadn't even landed yet due to a slight delay.

Although I was glad he wasn't there yet, I also couldn't wait much longer for him to enclose me in his arms.

So, there I was, impatiently sitting in a chair in the waiting area with Esme and Carlisle at my side, while counting the minutes for his plane to arrive and obsessively staring at the arrival screen.

I was saved by the intercom announcing Edward's flight had landed. Without hesitation, I hastily stood up, to be pushed down carefully by both Esme and Carlisle.

"Easy Bella, you're equilibrium is off-balance now. I'm sure you don't want to have another round of morning sickness right here, right now," Carlisle said.

I groaned. _Why now? Why now?_ I thought as I placed a hand on my abdomen, praying my stomach to be easy on me for now.

* * *

_In the misty morning fog with  
Our hearts a thumpin' and you  
My brown eyed girl,  
You my brown eyed girl. _

_**~Van Morrison - Brown Eyed Girl**_

EPOV

I'd been restless for the entire duration of the flight.

It was a good thing I didn't have someone sitting next to me, otherwise the person would have gone crazy for sure due to my nervous behavior.

It didn't really help I hadn't slept very well last night, either, due to being eager getting to see Bella, my Bella, again after weeks today.

Although I was in the midst of filming _Don't You Forget Me_, and had scenes almost every day, I just couldn't resist the siren call of my Bella. I had to get to her. Now.

My director wasn't really happy with me leaving off, but respected my choice and scheduled all scenes without me in the days I would be gone.

Sometimes it really came to handy being a big-shot actor. I'd way more freedom and could afford being away for a few days. They were nowhere without me, so they didn't have much choice.

As I gazed out of the little plane window, I felt the small, velvet box burning a hole in my pocket.

Ever since I'd been sure, the box had been travelling with me, always screaming out to me, letting me know of it's presence. There had been many moments I was on the brink of asking her, but up to now I'd always backed out. Today, though…today felt like a good moment. Today I was going to propose to Bella.

Although both Emmett and I weren't the oldest ones in our families, we were the first to want to marry and therefore were given the engagement rings of our matriarchs. Where my brother had inherited the engagement ring of our paternal grandmother Helen Cullen née Cavanaugh, I'd gotten the one of our maternal grandma Elizabeth Platt née Masen.

I didn't dare to open the box, wanting to keep it safely in my pocket.

Trying to kill the time as well as calm my nerves, I toyed around with my iPod, putting on The Cinematic Orchestra.

I wished I would have been able to get some sleep or doze off, but my anxious mind made such thing impossible.

And finally, finally we were told to fasten our seatbelts as the plane was circling to land.

When the plane had to come to a halt, I was the first one to rush out, my eagerness and impatience taking hold of me and carrying me forth to the arrival area.

It wasn't the most subtle move, and my behavior earned me quite some eyes on me. People were starting to recognize me, called out my name.

_Fuck_.

Without paying any attention to anybody, I marched through the arrivals section, my eyes on my goal.

But just as I'd gotten through security, two little girls who looked oddly familiar came running up to me, shyly asking me for an autograph and photo.

Where I could be cold to adult and/or teen fans, especially at moments when my personal life was disturbed, I was always patient with kids. Or at least, I tried to be.

"What's your name?" I asked the girl who'd handed me a copy of _Brown Is My Favourite Colour_, a record I'd made when I was nineteen and included a cover version of Van Morrison's _Brown Eyed Girl_. The songs were all about Bella, as to which the title already referred with her having brown hair and eyes.

"Hattie," she retorted excitedly, beaming up at me.

"Alright, then, Hattie," I chuckled, putting down the line _Dear Hattie, may you love music as much as I do. Love, Edward Cullen _and concluding with my autograph, before handing the CD back to her.

While she gazed at her now-signed CD in wonder, I turned to the other, who had to be Hattie's identical twin sister, since she was an exact copy of her, expect for the secondary tints of the eyes and hair.

"What about you?"

"Marsden, Marsden Tallulah Marie Krause," she mumbled, shyly handing me a copy of a book of which I'd played in the film adaptation.

"You two have beautiful names," I told them as I put down my pencil on the paper.

For her, I wrote _"Dear Marsden, I hope you enjoy the book and never stop reading. Love, Edward Cullen _plus my signature.

They called for their mother, who I hadn't noticed until then and came walking up to us with a tray of Starbucks drinks in her hand, to take their photo.

_Wait, _what_? _That'_s their mother? _Seriously_? Such a small world._

I took off my Clubmasters to get a better view, but I could only conclude it was really her.

Her, who'd played my mother twice, despite the small age difference of eleven years and six months. Once in a thriller based on a Stephen King book and once in a TV series wherein she played one of the main characters and I portrayed her second son as a young adult.

She was without a doubt one of the most sweetest, passionate and caring people I'd ever worked with. She was a born mother figure, just like my own, off-screen Mum.

And although her girls looked familiar, I couldn't recall having ever seen them, despite my second job co-starring her was after they were born.

"Edward! Hello! Long time no see," she beamed, taking me in a hug.

It brought me back to over six years ago, to the set of the TV series. Due to our mother-son relationship, we often hugged on-screen. Her giving me a hug again, reminded me how small she actually was.

"Look at you, now, hottest guy on the planet. I'm proud of you."

Yeah, hottest guy on the planet. A dream come true. Not. I rather gave me a feeling of embarrassment than I found it flattering.

"What can I say?" I shrugged.

"Oh, don't be embarrassed about it. You deserve it," she admonished me.

Marsden then circled her arm around her mother's waist, hiding away for the gathered paparazzi.

She looked down at her daughter, stroking her hair in a soothing manner.

Hattie, meanwhile, held onto her hand tightly.

"I see you have met my girls," she smiled, the love for them shining through.

"That I did," I smiled myself.

"Hattie and Marsden are huge fans of yours. We were standing in line for Starbucks when they shrieked out you were coming from the gate. I couldn't stop them."

"It's okay. I can't really recall meeting them while I was on set, though, although they seem familiar to me."

"We didn't want to leave them in the hands of strangers all day. When their father and I both had scenes, they were at our parents' or friends'," she explained.

Their father was her on-screen husband, with whom she'd been in a relationship for a few months prior to the birth of the twins. She was now happily married to one of the show's grips, and had three sons, of whom one had Edward as second name, something I used to tease her about.

"But how are things?" she asked.

"I'm good, me and Bella are good. You?"

"Yeah, I'm good, too. Taking it easy so I've enough time for all of my kids." She then looked at her watch. "Well, Hat, Mars, take your spot next to Edward, so we can let him go."

The girls let go of their mother hesitantly, looking around before hastily taking place at both my sides. After they'd approved of the several taken shots, Hattie also took a photo of me and her mother.

I righted my leather jacket and hoisted my duffel bag back on my shoulder. "Would you mind sending the photos to my email address, too?" I asked her before we parted ways.

"Of course not. You still got the same address?"

"Yep."

"edmorrison37306, isn't it?" she laughed.

"Hey, don't hurt Van the Man. He's awesome. Besides, nobody suspects it's me," I defended myself.

Van Morrison was my biggest musical inspiration and one of my most favorite musicians; the numbers 37306 stood for the date of births of both my sisters. 3 July was Honor Rose's, 30 June that of Alice. edmorrison37306 had been my email account for years and up until now, nobody had discovered it was mine.

She shook her head at me as she made a memo in her phone. As soon as she'd pocketed it, Hattie and Marsden each took hold of her hands.

"Well, give my greetings to your parents. I must meet up with Esme once more. And thank you for taking time for my girls. It really meant something to them, didn't it?" she asked them.

They nodded, looking up at me from under their eyelashes shyly.

"I will do. And it was my pleasure. Bye Hattie and Marsden," I said as I was about to walk past them to the arrival hall.

"Bye Edward."

I heard one of them telling their mother "he's really nice, Mommy. Our friends at school won't believe their ears when they hear our story."

I believed she said some more after that, but by then I wasn't able to hear anything but the clicks of the cameras flashing around me and the cries from the paparazzi themselves as I rapidly walked on.

They followed my every move.

Great. Just what I needed.

I turned back into my tune-out-everything-mode, as I wasn't in the mood to sign anything.

I just wanted one thing.

Seeing Bella. _Now_.

I hadn't even realized I'd already made it into the waiting area as I was so concentrated of making it out of here and away from the paparazzi as quick as possible.

Until I heard someone call my name.

Not just _someone_, though.

_Bella. My Bella._

Upon hearing her voice, her soothing voice, I immediately came to a halt, scanning the crowd for her.

Tuned into her so well, it didn't take me long to find her brown locks and automatically I closed the distance between her and me. I didn't care I was running, I didn't care I was pushing people away.

I needed to get to my Bella.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my parents standing a few feet away from her, holding her in place.

_Strange_. Why would my parents stop her from running up to me? Why didn't they allow her to run as well?

_What the hell._

Before I could give it more thought, Bella was in my arms, sobbing in my chest, and the notion vanished as ice for the sun.

All that was important to me, was in my arms now, and nothing else mattered.

I was home.

"I missed you…_so_…much," Bella breathed against my tee, sending goose bumps all over my body, warming my blood running through my tissues as well as my heart.

God, how much had I missed this feeling.

"I missed you, too," I said sincerely, my voice thick.

I placed my hands on her cheeks and as she looked up at me, I lowered my face so I could reach for her lips to crush my own to them for a searing kiss.

Not breaking the kiss, she moved one arm to the nape of my neck, her hand twisting itself in my untamed locks. The other arm circled around my waist only tighter.

As we pulled away to breathe and come down on earth, I also noticed cameras were still flashing around us.

My dominant, protective side immediately took over and draped one side of my jacket over her face so it was hidden from the parasites.

"Let's get out of here, and fast," I whispered in her ear. It wasn't really a whisper, since I nearly had to yell to make myself audible over the noise of the paparazzi.

I felt her nodding against my clothes as she gripped onto my hand that wasn't holding onto the jacket.

I was sure she'd seen and heard the paparazzi and gathered on-watchers and fans, too.

Of course, I knew damn well situations like these were part of being famous. I'd been having to go through them for a long time, but it didn't mean I liked it, though.

I motioned to my parents, pointing at the exit and it took us some time before we were able to walk side by side. My mother squeezed my shoulders and both my parents gave me a smile in greeting.

With Bella hidden underneath my jacket, I followed them to the parking garage. We'd gotten quite ahead of the paparazzi, but I could still see them coming at us.

I helped Bella into the car before stepping in myself. The second I closed the door, my father sped away from the airport and away from the paparazzi.

Inside the car, surrounded by all sorts of familiarity – the car, my parents, Bella – I was finally able to calm down.

There wasn't much said during the drive, expect for some occasional small talk, but I was okay with that. I just played with Bella's hair, whose head was resting against my collarbone.

Despite the feeling of calmness, a nagging voice in my head made me aware once again of the strange behavior of my parents. It was as if they knew something I didn't.

We walked in the house all together, and my parents excused themselves immediately, confusing me only more by stating "we will leave let you alone for now. You've a lot to talk about."

_What. The. Fuck. _I stared at the departing figures of my parents in utter confusion.

I mean, I knew what I wanted to talk about, and I knew my parents knew what I wanted to talk about, too, but it seemed as if they also knew what Bella wanted to talk about. It seemed pretty damn serious.

"Alright, let's talk about what we have to talk about then," I said, taking Bella's hand in mine and leading her to my room on the top floor of the house.

As we'd arrived at my old room, across from Honor Rose's, I plopped down on the bed. "Who's going first?"

Surprisingly, Bella came off as quite nervous, too.

God, I didn't like being in the dark at all.

"You would go first nevertheless," she commented, cheeks flushed, as she slowly sat down next to me.

"True," I smiled nervously. "But just before anything is said, I don't want it to influence whatever you want to say. Promise me you won't hide anything from me."

Bella nodded, but I wasn't satisfied with that. I needed her to say it.

She caught my look and rolled her eyes. "I promise."

I cleared my throat, before I was going to make a huge step in my life.

_Here you go, Cullen. Asking the love of your life to be yours. _

I pulled the box, which by now felt as an enormous, heavy stone, out of my pocket. Without wasting any time, I took one of her hands in mine and slid down on one knee.

She clearly hadn't expected this, seeing as her jaw dropped to the ground and her free hand flew to her mouth.

_Oh God, her not having expecting this, doesn't have to mean she doesn't want to marry me, right?_

I chose not to let the insecure, self-deprecating part of me get the upper hand. This was not the moment to obsess over what may or what may not be the case. I would have to find out myself. I would have to be brave.

Taking one last deep breath, I popped open the box and looked up at her. "Isabella Marie Swan? I never knew one could experience so much love, happiness, inspiration, support and care until I met you. You have never ceased to amaze me, to show me your strength and to give a little bit of that to me."

I took another deep breath before I would come to conclude my proposal. "I promise to love you forever – every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

_Say yes. Please say yes. Please, please, please. Say yes, please._

At first, it seemed as if her face was caught in that of a blank, shocked expression, and I was about to retreat when her lips suddenly pulled up in a big, goofy smile and her beautiful, soul-deep brown eyes glistered.

"Yes. Yes, Edward. Yes!" Her word of consent got louder with each time.

I got a goofy grin of my own and eagerly slid the ring that had once been my grandma's around the third finger of Bella's left hand.

For a few seconds I was caught by the sight of the ring on Bella's hand. It was hers now. She'd said yes, which had turned her into my fiancée.

I looked up at Bella, whose cheeks were flushed with an adorable blush. She had her bottom pulled in that turning-on pout of hers.

Without breaking the gaze I was holding her eyes with, I lowered my lips to her hand and kissed all of her knuckles, saving the ring for last.

I then pulled myself up so I was on her level, my hands going to her face automatically. I stroked away the hot tears that had almost dried on her cheeks.

Bella moved her face forward, resting it against my forehead and placing her hands on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Edward," she whispered. "I love you."

"You stole my lines," I whispered back, smiling.

"I'd originally wanted to go for your birthday, since that was more of an occasion, you know, but…I just couldn't stop myself from setting my mind on doing it today," I admitted.

"No, Edward," she silenced my insecurities, grabbing my face in her hands so I couldn't do but look in her eyes. "It was perfect. It was real and raw and pure. It was us. Besides, I don't think it would have mattered much how and when you would have asked, because it's really the gesture that matters."

I smiled shyly, ducking my head.

"Don't, Edward," Bella said, pulling my head to hers and placing a kiss on my lips.

Man, I hadn't really noticed how much of a weight the proposal had given me, but now it was all over, now she'd said yes, I felt a whole deal lighter. The fact she'd said yes not once, not twice but three times was a really awesome thing, too.

_I'm the luckiest man alive._

We stayed like that, our foreheads touching and just breathing and being, for a little while, until my curiosity to Bella's news took the better of me and this time it wasn't to be shut down.

I stood up from my place on the ground – and only then noticed my knees weren't all too happy with me for sitting in the same position for too long – and retreated to my previous spot on the bed next to Bella.

"I believe you said you'd something to tell me yourself."

Bella ducked her head and swallowed.

_Again with the nervousness._

"What?" I asked, really concerned now.

"I don't know how to go about this," she confessed while fidgeting with her fingers.

_Oh shit, that meant it was real bad, wasn't it? Fuck. I didn't like this. At all._

"Bella, please. Just give it a try and we'll see where we end up, okay? I'm in a limbo here, darling, and my mind is throwing all sort of scenarios at me, and they sure ain't pretty. Putting it off will only make it harder, I can tell," I said, taking one of her hands in mine while I put my free arm around her shoulders.

She nodded. "Okay. Don't get angry at me, or anything, okay? I hadn't expected this myself."

Angry? Why on earth would I ever get angry at her? I'd just asked her to marry me, she'd consented, and now there was something she thought I was going to get angry about? I was really growing worried now.

As she didn't continue on, I realized she was waiting for my promise. "Never," I said sincerely.

A soft, blurred murmur came from my fiancée. "Impregnant."

What did she just say? The only coherent word I could make up was…_pregnant_. _Holy shit in a box_! Did she…did she say she was _pregnant_? _Pregnant_? Bella was pregnant?

"You're…you're _pregnant_?" I choked out, emotions getting the better of me.

Bella bit her lip. "Yes," she said in a small voice, as if she feared my reaction.

Why would she think that? Was my temper that bad? Had I ever expressed a dislike towards children?

I couldn't find my voice to ask her about it, because, _dude_, I was having a freaking moment here!

I, Edward Anthony Cullen, second child of surgeon Carlisle Cullen and interior designer Esme Cullen, was going to become a father. In less than a year, we would welcome a little girl, or boy. The family I'd always been dreaming about would finally become reality.

"Edward, say something please. Are you angry, disappointed? Just give me something, baby. I can handle it, just not the silence. Don't give me silence," Bella's voice pleaded, breaking the moment.

Again, what was with the insecurities? And by the by, I'd taken as much part in this as her.

I pulled her close to me. "Bella, no. Of course I'm not angry or disappointed. Why would I be? You, the love of my life, my wife-to-be, just told me most amazing, most welcome news ever! I just didn't…I just didn't know how to say…how to express my feelings. I'm so thrilled, baby!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, thank God," Bella chuckled breathlessly, relief coloring her voice. "I was so afraid you were going to be pissed at me, because of the bad timing, with you being busy with so many projects lined up and…you know," she rambled on.

I silenced her by crashing my lips to mine. Sometimes, words weren't strong enough to express certain feelings. This was such a sometimes.

She locked her hands in my hair, feverishly kissing me back as I held onto her face.

We pulled back for air, beaming at each other with big, goofy smiles on our faces.

I reached for her, not being able to stand even the slightest distance between her and me at the moment. I enclosed her in my arms, her who was carrying my child, and she cradled her head against my chest while clutching onto me.

This moment…this moment right here…this was pure happiness.

"How long have you known? I suppose you knew already when you sent me that text two days ago," I mused.

"Yeah, I'd just found out then, that morning," Bella confirmed.

"Not that it really matters, but do you have an idea how you could have gotten pregnant?"

"Well…err…you see, I think I might have forgotten to take a few pills during the time I was in New York with Maya, just before we reunited. I didn't feel too well, due to me missing you like crazy and really craving for your presence…It's really stupid of me, I know, and I'm really sorry I let it happen, but I'd just totally forgotten about them. And just two days ago, I realized I hadn't had my period in ages and that left me thinking. I hope you're not angry at me," Bella ended in a small voice, looking up at me, pleading not to be angry at her.

I hoped this were the hormones already kicking in, because I couldn't fathom what I'd done to cause so much insecurity for her.

"Isabella, I'm not angry, really. Yeah, I didn't see it coming and the baby wasn't planned, but that hasn't stopped me from completely embracing the pregnancy, baby."

"I'm being ridiculous, aren't I?" she laughed.

"You're being pregnant," I said.

A smile played on Bella's lips and she looked down at her not-yet-existent bump automatically. My eyes copied her gaze immediately and my hands went to her abdomen automatically.

A gasp escaped her mouth due to my sudden and bold movement, but before I could pull my hands away, there were being held down by her own.

We looked up at each other in sync, before our eyes went back to stare at stomach.

"I hope you won't be of much distress to your mother, because I'm not really good with handling distress and all, but as long as you're being healthy and happy, I will be, too. Just know I love you," I said to my child growing inside of Bella.

Bella ducked her head so she could reach for my lips and kissed me softly.

"I did have some morning sickness when I woke up this morning," she said. "But I guess I've to get used to that. As do you."

"Yeah. I guess we do. When are we going to get to see her or him?"

"I'm thinking late April, early May. I'm not sure. Once we've found a doctor, he or she could pinpoint a more precise date."

"That means you're about a month in, right? Which means you got pregnant…"

"At Maya's birthday party," Bella finished for me. "You got me pregnant in the best suite of the Waldorf, at my sister's birthday party. You remember?"

Of course I remembered. How could I not? I didn't think it was possible for that one time to be able to get erased from my memory. It must have been one of my all-time favorites.

It was short, but oh…so…amazing. Bella had been acting very, very impatient at the time.

And I didn't think hearing Bella say _'you got me pregnant'_ was a phrase I ever could grow tired of. She could use it anytime she wanted, and I would get a proud smile on my face every time.

Instead of using words, I answered by grabbing her face in my hands and fiercely crushing my lips to hers once more.

"God, I love you so much," I growled against her lips, earning me a giggle coming from her mouth.

God, did I love my Bella's giggles. But then again, what didn't I love about her?

"Are we going to tell everybody now or should we wait till we've passed the first twelve weeks?" I said in between kisses.

At my words, Bella immediately turned rigid in my arms.

Worried, and a tad bit confused, I pulled back so I was able to see her face.

She was biting that lip again, her eyes cast down.

_Fuck._

_Leave it to me to go ruin the most perfect moments of perfect moments with my stupid words,_ I scowled at myself.

"Edward, don't," _her_ soft voice pulled me from my dark thoughts – she knew me so well. "Don't over-think everything, don't over-think this. It shouldn't be of importance."

"But it is. Otherwise you wouldn't react this way," I said, pouting a bit.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I spoke, putting too much force in my voice as if I was a fucking kid who's too curious for his own good or something.

"For not being fair to you."

What? Did she lie to me or something? Did she not tell me everything I absolutely should have been told? Oh man, I didn't like this. I did not like this, at all. At _all_.

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, for not telling you first, but you were the one and only person I _had_ to see the face of. I _had_ to tell you in person."

"So now the whole world knows already? Jeez, I feel like a fucking idiot. Shouldn't I have been given some warning or something?" I said more to myself than to her.

Believe me if I said I'd had no idea where this sudden rush of childish behavior came from. I really didn't have a clue. Bella didn't deserve this.

I wanted to go out and blame it on the tiredness after having worked so hard for the past couple of weeks, but I knew there was nothing and no-one to blame but myself.

"Jesus, Edward! What's up with you? I know you're self-deprecating and insecure, especially when it concerns me, but there are limits, you know!" she nearly screamed at me.

And if her screaming wasn't pointed at me, I might have found it really hot. Okay, even then, it turned me on. Like now. But this wasn't the time to do something about it.

"I wanted to tell you so bad, and I wish we would have gone through it together…God, I was yearning for you to hold my hand while I waited for the results to come back, but that wasn't the case. Not telling you made me feel really bad, Edward, so don't you dare accuse me of not having thought about you!" Bella continued.

"Didn't you say it didn't really matter whatever my answer was? Who's being hypocritical now, eh? If you can't…if you can't see past it, then there's nothing more to say," she said breathlessly and slipped off the bed, righting her cardigan.

Hold on. _What_ did she just say? Was she done?

Holy hell. Overnight, my life had turned in a roller-coaster ride. I wanted it to stop, but I was nowhere near the end of the track.

My throat tightened and it felt as if I couldn't breathe. It cost me a great deal of energy to even lift my arm and motioning her to stop.

"Don't…go," I rasped. "I…I…sorry. I…apo…lo…apolo…gize. Need water."

Had I gone into shock?

Bella hastily fetched a glass of water from my adjoined bathroom, and after having swung back half the amount of fluids, my throat felt much better and my lungs took in air again.

"Fuck, Bella, I shouldn't have gone off about that. You didn't deserve that."

"No, I didn't," she said stubbornly.

_That's my girl._ I smiled proudly.

"Don't you dare to be smug now, Edward Cullen," Bella warned me. "I'm angry at you."

"Sorry," I said again.

"I know you didn't mean it, but you can't just accuse me of things like that, Edward."

I nodded.

"Although I'm still pissed at you, you _do_ deserve to know where we stand now, as in who knows and who doesn't," Bella spoke, scooting closer to me on the bed and stroking a lock of hair out of my face.

"My Mom was with me on the phone when I was waiting for the results. I told Maya the next morning during breakfast, and Alice and Rose on the phone. Angela knows, too. I told her when she came to collect me from the airport. My Dad knows, and your parents. Charlie had mentioned I was feeling sick this morning, and Carlisle asked me about it.

I thought about telling more people on my birthday. We could maybe tell other people who we trust and know once we're past the first semester."

"That sounds good," I agreed. "Do…do you want to watch a movie? Your choice."

I was really yearning for some normalcy, just watching a movie with my baby. Something I hadn't done in a too long time.

She rolled her eyes. "Sure." Then, an evil grin appeared on her face.

_No. Please no. Not that one!_

"_Beauty and the Beast_."

"Isabella, no. No way. Honor Rose always made me watch it with her too many times. You knew that, didn't you?" I wailed, begging her to pick another movie. _Any other movie._

"I get to choose, Cullen. Remember? Besides, what's not to like. The female main character is named Belle, she has long brown hair and dark eyes, making her so much like me."

Man, this woman was going to be the death of me one day.

"Bella, she can't even touch your beauty. You're the most beautiful woman, more beautiful than any Disney princess."

"Why, thank you, Edward," she said dramatically. "But I wasn't finished with my comparison. The Beast for instance, reminds me a lot of you…"

"Well, that's flattering."

"Shush," Bella silenced me. "As a human, he has almost the same hair color as you have. But the most striking resemblance is the fact he thinks himself a monster, but deep inside…he's the most beautiful, caring and loving man."

"Bella," I said in a pained voice.

She was right of course, about me thinking quite low of myself. I tried to be good, tried to not over-think anything, tried to be good for Bella, for my family, for myself…but it was hard at times.

"You are, Edward. Belle shows him another way of living, and I hope I can do that for you as well."

"You already have."

* * *

**So….what do you think?**

**It will take a few days before the next chapter will be up, I think (you will see, FanFiction junkie that I am, posting sooner) because I have a serious headache now and lack of sleep.**

**XOXO S.**

* * *

**Update, 1st October 2011**

**There has been made quite some changes, the parts have gotten longer each. I hope you like it better this way. I do, at least.**

**Also, I erased the second Bella POV all together, as I just didn't find it to fit the chapter anymore. I might put it in an outtake or something.**

**-The album Edward is listening to on the plane is The Cinematic Orchestra – Crimson Wing.**

**I haven't been in the right place to write the past couple of months, and I've also been really busy with school, but I'm getting there. The foundations of Dating Fame ch 23, London Calling ch11, Hollywood Kids ch 4 and Sun, BFF's and Love in LA ch 14 are laid. I hope to have them out soon.**


	6. Welcome You

**UPDATED, 25th January 2011:  
As of now, this chapter has been edited and revised. Apart from grammar changes, substantive changes (might) have been made as well. I enlarged the background story and went more into detail. If you want to know what exactly is different than before, just ask.**

**I'm really very sorry for the lack of new chapters. I hope to have chapter 23 up soon.**

**Beta'd by the amazing _With The What Now_.**

* * *

**Quite a shorty, this one. It's October in the story, now. I might write an outtake or two concerning the time in between the last chapter and this one.**

**Everyone who read this story, took a look at this story, and especially _reviewed_ this story and the latest chapter: THANK YOU!**

**Have you listened to the New Moon Soundtrack? Gosh the songs are so beautiful. **

_~Chapter 6~  
*Welcome you*  
by SoaneLucy13_

* * *

It was October now, and Edward and I were finding ourselves slouched down in waiting chairs in some fancy hospital in New York City.

Rosalie was in labor, her baby was going to be born any second.

Although she and Emmett were now living on the other side of the continent in Vancouver, Canada, she relocated to NYC for a while to be close to Emmett whilst he was finishing up filming his latest movie, so she could be close to him at all times as she was so close to her due date.

Rosalie's water broke during family dinner at their rented space in Brooklyn, with all of us present. Nobody could have stopped us from following Emmett and Rose to the hospital, so here we were.

Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, Honor Rose, Edward and I were killing time in the waiting room playing card games and watching DVD's on our laptops while Esme was with Emmett in Rose's hospital room.

Esme had always been a motherly and important figure to Rosalie. Rose's mother Catherine Hale-Whitlock and Esme had been very close, as well as Esme being Rosalie's godmother and because my boyfriend's…err…_fiancé's_ mother had always taken such good care of her and Jasper.

From the waiting room, we occasionally could hear Rosalie's rather loud grunts and moans as she's was now in push-mode.

Jasper wasn't able to concentrate on anything and paced anxiously through the corridor. Even Alice couldn't calm him down.

We gave him space and left him be. It was his little sister after all, who was in such pain in there.

Fatigue took over me and I sleepily closed my eyes, leaning my head on Edward's shoulder.

I was woken up by my fiancé, who softly shook me.

"Huh?" I asked, disoriented. I'd had such a beautiful dream, and just before I saw the little angel, I was woken up.

He laughed. "We have a new member of the Cullen clan."

_Clan_. As if the Cullen's were some sort of animals, I thought.

Then the first part knocked in. "What? Have I missed it? Why didn't you wake me up?"

I felt bad. Rose was one of my best friends, and I just had fallen asleep while she was pushing and in tremendous pain. So much for being a great friend.

"Relax, Bella. You needed your rest, you're pregnant. And besides, you looked so peaceful."

I rolled my eyes. _Always the caring one._

"What is it? Boy? Girl?"

Rosalie and Emmett both knew the gender. Emmett didn't want to know at first, but when Rosalie caught some complications a few months in her pregnancy, he changed his mind. They'd decided to not tell everyone else, except for Jasper and Esme.

"A boy."

"Can I see him?" I was _dying _to see my little nephew. I stood up hastily, too impatient to wait any longer.

Not such a good idea. My equilibrium was off these days, adding up to my already clumsy self and I came close falling to the ground many times if it hadn't been for Edward never leaving my side since he and I returned to New York two days after we'd told each other the big news. During the time he was filming, I mostly found myself holed up in our home working on my writings and schoolwork or attending classes.

"Whoa, steady, baby," Edward said, pulling me upward before I could hit the ground. He leaned in to kiss my forehead.

"Edward," I whimpered, unconsciously leaning into his touch. "Edward, I really want to see my newborn nephew now."

"He isn't really your nephew, biologically speaking."

I gave him a 'don't-mess-with-me' look.

"Okay, okay," he said, holding out his hand for me to take as he turned to the direction of Rose's room.

I caught up with him and eagerly took his outstretched hand, squeezing it pretty damn hard as he led me to the room. Blame the anxious nerves.

"You ready?" he asked as he stopped in front of the door, looking down at me with a look of love so powerful and crackling that I needed a moment to regain my senses.

I nodded.

Edward knocked softly on the door alerting those in the room of our presence before slowly cracking it open.

"Hey, guys," he said, pulling me in the room.

And there he was, laying in Rosalie's arms while Emmett gazed lovingly at his wife and newborn son resting his elbows on the edge of the bed. Jasper and Alice were cuddled up against each other on the couch, their eyes trained on the adorable sight. Carlisle was standing behind Esme, his arms resting on her hips while she was on the phone, with family I guessed. Honor Rose was sitting on one of the chairs. Upon our entrance, all pairs of eyes shot up in our direction.

"Hey sleepyhead, you finally came to take a look at mini-Emmett?" Emmett laughed.

I groaned. "Don't rub it in, please. Besides, it was Edward's fault."

I ignored their laughter as I walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge, one of my hands still in Edward's.

"He's so pretty," I whispered, looking at the bundle in Rosalie's arms.

She smiled at me in understanding and moved her hands so she could pull him up. "Here," she said, handing over her son to me.

I thanked her with my eyes for the gesture and carefully took him in my arms. It was strange thinking this little person had been growing in Rosalie's womb for months.

I was scared to drop him at first, but soon I found a position for my hands and arms that felt safe and solid. Looking down at him, I couldn't wait till I could hold my own little miracle in my arms. If it were only April and not October.

Tearing my eyes away from him, I turned to look at Rosalie. "What's his name?"

Rosalie glanced at Emmett, who gave her a smile in return, before she spoke. "Tristan William Cullen. Tristan we kind of came across, and William is to my Dad."

"That's nice, Rose, really. Tristan William sounds beautiful."

"Have you come up with names already?" she asked me.

"No. I mean, it's just a big walnut at this stage. Once I've passed the safe three months, I'm gonna…you know, I will be able to focus on the future more. Names are not on my mind, yet. I just want my baby to be safe and healthy."

"Wanna know the sex?" she continued.

"No."

Rose turned to her adoptive brother. "You Edward?"

Before answering, he looked down at me proudly, and I gave him a smile in return. "No, we want it to be a surprise."

"I love you," I mouthed to Edward.

"Love you, too," he mouthed back, that shit eating, breathtaking and dizzy-making crooked smile on his fucking glorious face.

Little Tristan Cullen seemed to have inherited the black hair color of his father, but the straight texture of his mother. Although nearly all babies were born with a blue hue in the eyes, Tristan's eyes already seemed to contain a mixture of eye colours. Blue, brown and honey caramel were all united in his tiny, squinting eyes, with the light brown being the most evident.

"He has beautiful eyes," I told his parents, and carefully handed him to Emmett.

A rush of tiredness waved over me again and I couldn't contain a big yawn. I dropped myself in one of the comfortable fauteuils, and it didn't take long before I'd fallen asleep again.

In this dream, I was finally able to see the beautiful, little creature I'd caught several glimpses of already in previous dreams. I couldn't determine if it was a boy or girl, although I suspected it to be a boy. I knew the child was mine, though. The fact brought a smile on my lips.

"Isabella? Love?" Edward's voice broke through my unconsciousness.

I groaned. I didn't want to be disturbed from my wonderful dream. Not again.

"Doesn't she look adorable when she's grumpy," someone giggled, who I recognized as Alice.

"She's drop-dead-gorgeous," was Edward's retort.

I opened my eyes slowly to take in my surroundings.

Rosalie was asleep, just as her husband who was lying next to her in the hospital bed.

Emmett had managed to have the nurses to allow him to sleep next to his wife. It wouldn't surprise me if he hadn't have had to push that hard, as being the son of a renowned surgeon did a lot of good. Add in the fact that Emmett was never one you wanted to be in the dog house with, given his enormous appearance, it was extremely doubtful he'd had much trouble. Edward was holding Tristan in his arms, with Alice and Honor, who was stifling a yawn, standing at his side.

"Honor Rose, let's get you home. Now," Esme spoke up, also having noticed how tired her youngest daughter was.

Honor tore her eyes away from her newborn nephew. "Mum," she wailed, "I'm an adult, you know. I can make my own decisions."

"You're not twenty-one yet, I'm still your mother and you're still my little girl. As you always will be, whether you like it or not. Your brother and Rose need their rest. I'm sure they will come to the house very soon. Now, I see how tired you are, sweetheart. Don't beat yourself up. You, too, need your rest. C'mon."

Honor Rose sulked for some time, with Alice and Edward laughing silently at their sister being chastised, which earned them a death glare from Honor.

Esme gave her daughter a warning glare, pointing to the door. Honor Rose complied, but not without letting out a couple of swears. Before she let herself being taken away by her mother, she planted a kiss on Emmett's forehead, cooed to her little nephew and kissed the cheeks of her other siblings.

After Carlisle and Esme had left off with Honor Rose in tow, I slowly walked over to Edward and Alice. Jasper was lounging on the couch reading a book on the Civil War.

The way Edward looked at Tristan…it touched me to see how carefully, lovingly he handled him. It brought tears in my eyes.

I had seen him with a lot of other kids, be it family or children of friends or co-stars, and it had always been a truly adorable sight. It never was like this, though. Not this endearing. Maybe because Tristan was his nephew, so close related. I didn't know.

I thought I'd seen his sweetest, most unselfish and baffled sight whenever he was with his younger sisters, Honor Rose in particular. Honor was the youngest, as well as Alice being more of a twin to Edward than a little sister. Besides, Alice had Jasper who watched over protectively. Edward cared so much for his sister who was four years his junior.

Honor Rose didn't have a very easy childhood, beating herself up about things constantly. After witnessing a friend of hers being hit by a car at the age of just seven, she would be haunted by nightmares for years. The image of the mingled, broken and dead body of her friend was tattooed on her mind. The death of her friend Pippa also brought along a great sense of guilt, as Honor nearly had been hit herself but unconsciously stepped back last second. It had been her fault, Honor told herself.

She'd always felt different than other kids her age. She was a model, an actress, a member of one of the most famous families in the world. Famous herself. Too mature for her age. She didn't fit in, hardly had friends. In Forks, the junior of the Cullen family seemed to have found peace.

Edward had told me all about Honor Rose's struggles as a young child and early adolescent, pain and hurt clearly displayed on his face as he spoke about his younger sister. When Honor hurt, Edward hurt with her. Having heard about her troubles, I started to look at Honor Rose differently. She was so strong, so determined, so loving.

Not even Edward looking at his youngest sister with pride and amazement could beat this sight right in front of me, though. As I watched him looking at Tristan in awe, I realized how lucky I was to have this man. God, was I gifted.

Edward's eyes met mine and he smiled, making me blush. I smiled back. He handed Tristan to his sister, who carefully laid him in his hospital crib, and took me in an embrace.

"Jazz, I wanna have one, too," I heard Alice mutter to Jasper. I couldn't see her, as Edward's tall figure shielded off my view.

Everyone who was awake in the room, Edward, Jasper and myself that was, chuckled.

"Sure, Al, sure," Jasper laughed.

"Jazz, I mean it." I was sure that came along with a true Alice-pout.

"I know, darlin'. We'll see."

"Oh, thank you, Jasper. I love you!" she said, clapping in her hands as she took Jasper in a tight hug.

By now, Edward had swayed us a bit to the side so I was able to see Jasper smiling at us over her head.

Edward glanced at his watch, before looking down at me. "You ready to go?" he said softly, stroking a lock of hair out of my face to put it behind my ear.

I nodded, laying my head to rest on his chest.

"We're gonna go," Edward declared, stepping out of our embrace but holding onto my hand as he scooped down to grab his laptop bag and my purse.

"You're staying at the Brooklyn house, right?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah. You?"

"The Manhattan penthouse."

Although the Manhattan penthouse overseeing Central Park had been bought by Carlisle and Esme, and was still in their name, Alice and Jasper had taken permanent residence there. Alice had also made it her atelier.

"Yeah, we have to arrange some stuff there first, you know, for the baby party, help settle Rose and Jazzy's family in. We will hop by soon, though," Alice added.

"Okay dokey," I giggled, suddenly feeling a little light-headed.

We said our goodbyes, and Edward and I made our way out the hospital. My fiancé helped me into his shining silver Volvo.

Edward had always been driving Volvos, buying a different model every time he'd grown tired of his previous one. His current one had seemed to have stolen his heart, though, as he'd stuck to this specific model for years now. This was how I'd met him, leaning against his silver Volvo in the lot of Forks High, looking like a modern-time James Dean.

Once we were both inside, Kings of Leon already playing over the stereo, Edward leaned in to fiercely kiss me.

"What was that about?" I asked, after having gone back to breathing normal after that hotfuck kiss.

"Me loving you," he deadpanned, as if it was the most obvious thing.

I rolled my eyes. "Let's just go to Brooklyn."

"Of course, my love," he laughed.

* * *

**Tristan William Cullen. What do you think?**

**For those who are interested: Honor Rose is Honor Rose's official first name, as in a double name. Honor is just a shortened version. Sophia is her middle name.**

**Music I listened to:  
Death Cab for Cutie, Kings of Leon, New Moon Soundtrack. Alexandre Desplat - New Moon (The Meadow) is simply beautiful.**


	7. Freaked Out

**Next one. I watched Adventureland yesterday. Wow, so cool. And I love the Games Games Games t-shirt. Wanna have one, too. And I respect Em(okay I admit, partly because she's portraited by Kristen). She wears amazing clothes, too.**

**And I actually wanted to post this Monday, 'cause that was the day of birth of Tristan. But I didn't succeeded. Here in my country it's October 21 now, which means that it's Catherine Harwicke's birthday. Happy Birthday Catherine! Thanks so much for casting Kristen and Robert.**

_~Chapter 7~  
*Freaked Out*  
by SoaneLucy13_

Months have passed very quickly. We had Esme's birthday, Halloween – I was dressed as Belle from the Beauty and the Beast to tease Edward, and Edward was dressed as a vampire. It looked like he had walked right out of Bram Stoker's Dracula – Jasper's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve... And never had it been more amazing then now. It has been very intense and exhausting for me, but Edward was there with me all the time.

And my little nudger was growing inside of me. Around the end of November, I was starting to show a small but visible baby bump.

Alice was stoking us with ideas for outfits and names. She was one small bouncing doll.

Besides being a pregnant woman, I also was an engaged woman. Every day I was stunned by the beauty of Elizabeth Platt's ring. I didn't want to marry while being pregnant, so we had planned the wedding for August 13. I would have time to loose my baby weight and come to rest.

The bad thing was that I had to do my exams just two-and-a-half months after I'd given birth.

I was seven months right now, and I was already _huge_. I couldn't even _try_ to wear heels, so I just spend my days around the cute, but magnificent 'cottage' Edward and I had bought near New York City. It was a peaceful neighborhood, full of green, and hardly any traffic. And still close to the city.

Edward was in LA right now. He had been super busy lately, after the holidays. He had been in London the past couple of weeks, for shooting scenes for _Occupy Rangers_, starring Honor, as well.

And Edward, my Edward, was nominated for a fucking Oscar.

This couldn't true.

It also meant I had to pull myself in a dress, and heels, while I was a month away from giving birth. _That_ freaked me out.

But, thanks god this time, I had Alice. Alice, my best friend and sister-in-law. Fashion designer Alice.

She had handpicked a vintage, and oh so gorgeous Chanel for me. I loved Chanel. Not that I was a designer fan -I grew up with working parents. My parents had both worked very hard for their money. Alice also had arranged some beautiful, but comfortable, heels for me. I had tried to convince Alice that I could easily wear Chucks under my dress, since nobody would see my shoes, but no, that wasn't the plan. And well, I could have had it much worse.

Edward hadn't seen my dress, or any part of my outfit, yet. Neither had I seen any of his.

The award show would also be my first official time with accompanying Edward. When _How To Be_ premiered, I was in Jacksonville, babysitting on my sick stepsister Billie Jean. Mom, Phil, Jared, and Brucie were in New Orleans, visiting friends. Billie was ten, and very clever. So, that was the second reason for freaking me out.

I was now busy with school and picking names. School was pretty embarrassing. I mean, Yale, c'mon. Everyone was looking to me whenever I hit campus. Not cool. Picking names for my little nudger was hard. I wanted a perfect name. A special one. And I also had to decide where I would give birth. And I needed to make my decision quick.

* * *

Tomorrow. Tomorrow would be the big award show. The Oscars.

I'm in LA now, doing some groceries. I'm wearing a tank top, knee high sweatpants, with low-top Chucks and my hair in a messy bun. Every where I looked I saw paparazzi. Thanks god, I could go unnoticed. That would change soon, though.

And I was huge. Edward couldn't even enclose me in his arms anymore, since my baby bump was in the way. But I loved it, I adored my pregnancy. Yeah, throwing up wasn't cool, but that was far behind me, and I know I will be fully rewarded on the end. And Edward is so sweet with and for me. Really caring. My little miracle will be lucky with his, or her, daddy. I think it's a boy though. I know that Edward secretly hopes on a girl. But we keep it a secret. We want to be surprised.

Alice, Honor and Maya would help me with dressing up tomorrow. Edward and I would even ride to the Kodak apart. He would arrive first, wait for me, and then I would arrive. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Honor, Carlisle, Esme and Maya will go, too. Alice herself was nominated for Best Wardrobe, for _Julie & Julia_. Jasper was her date (the movie he'd played a small role in, was nominted for Best Movie, too). Emmett, who had been stunt coordinator and producer, was allowed to go, too, since the director of the movie of topic, _Inglorious Bastards_, had been very happy with Emmett and his work. Honor was nominated for Best Actress in a Supporting Role, for portraying Rachel Weisz' daughter in _Unbound Captives_. Maya would be Honor's date, since Honor and her boyfriend were on a break and the girls were BFF's. Carlisle's little sister, Sian Cullen, was in the Academy Comité.

* * *

EPOV

I was nervous. God damn nervous.

And not even because I was nominated for Best Actor in a Leading Role, which I sure I had been nervous about, wasn't it that the Oscars would be the first –official- time I would go public with Bella. My fiancée. Bella, who's almost eight months pregnant. Every time after the interview with David Letterman, she had found a way to don't go public. Not that she didn't want to go with me. I knew she was scared. I couldn't blame her.

I was also nervous to see Bella. I didn't know how she would look like. My sisters, mom and Bella gave no clue away. To torture me more, I would have to go alone. I wouldn't see Bella until she had arrived.

I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers. I gazed to the clock.

Six hours. Fuck.

I ducked my phone out of my pocket and called Bella's cell.

"This is the cell of Bella…" shit, shit, shit. Of course my sisters would help Bella "with Honor."

"Honor, hey. Where's Bella?"

"Hello, too, Edward. And I know what you want, but no, not possible. Just wait. To answer your question, we're having lunch on the balcony, with the four of us. Go call Em or Jazz, or something."

"Honor," I growled.

"Ed, that wont work. I'm not a little girl anymore. Just wait." And with that my youngest sister hung up.

I dropped myself on the bed and stared up the ceiling. The minutes passed. Slowly.

Two hours before my car would pick me up, Alice arrived to help me styling. As if I would need that. I was going to wear a Dolce & Gabbana suit, with tux.

"How's Bella?" I asked my sister. That was the only thing I cared about. Bella.

Alice rolled her eyes. "She's okay. Nervous, but okay," she grinned. Alice really wanted to torture me.

* * *

Here I was, blinded by thousands of flashing cameras. Next time, I had to wear sunglasses, I thought to myself, making a mental note.

The waiting for Bella was torturing. My family, except Honor, and Bella and Maya, were already inside. Jasper was in Dolce & Gabbana as well, and Alice was wearing a Jenny Packman(not one of her own designs this time). Alice was a huge fan of the brand. Emmett was in Burberry, with a shirt of Dior, and Rosalie in Andrew Gn. My mom and dad were in Badgley Mischka and Prada. Carlisle's youngest sister, Sian Margaret Cullen, who was a script writer, was in the Academy Comité. It was the first time so many of us were nominated. Jasper's, who was a part-time actor, movie was nominated for Best Movie. Alice's and Emmett's, too. Alice had a small role in hers, and had also done the wardrobe department. Emmett had been a stunt director. Honor Rose was nominated for Best Actress in a Supporting Role, just as her movie itself. I, myself, was nominated for Best Actor in a Leading Role, for my performance of Billy Costigan in _the Departed_.

I felt a hand circling around my waist.

Honor.

"Hey," she said, while facing the cameras and putting a smile on her face.

"You look gorgeous, Hon," I said, looking around. "Where's Maya?"

"With Bella."

I nodded.

"They're on their way, Ed. Don't worry." Honor was the only one who nicknamed me – Emmett calling me Eddie not counted. I hated that nickname - Nor my family nor my friends nor Bella had never called me Ed or Eddie.

I looked to the road, and saw new cars arriving. My heart started to speed up.

Honor gave me a kiss on my cheek and let go of me.

I saw a familiar head, stepping out of a car. Maya. She ducked in, and helped her sister out.

I rushed to the car. "I will take it from here, Maya."

They both gasped, not expecting me.

"Alrighty. Enjoy," she smiled. Maya hugged her sister, before she left off to Honor.

I already heard the cameras flashing behind my back, and saw the flashes against the car.

"Hey," Bella whispered. She carefully stepped on her feet. Now I had a perfect view of her. My breath stocked in my throat.

"What?"

"You."

"What's with me?" she asked, panic coming in her eyes. She inspected herself.

"You are breathtaking, love," I said, kissing her forehead, and steadying her by putting an arm around her waist.

"Eh…thanks," she blushed.

"I'm really sorry for this," I muttered, when I turned us around, towards the red carpet.

And I swore under my breath. There was serious an entire army standing in front of us, even blocking our way. Bella hid her face against my shoulder.

I saw Honor, and she saw in what kind of situation we were. She walked over to some security men, and pointed to us. They walked over to us.

This was fucking insane. Didn't these low-lifes have any respect at all?! Hello, I was here with an eight months pregnant woman, for god's sake.

We moved our way through the paparazzi. But then I heard Bella, gasping out of pain. She had a hand on her back. I turned around, and saw some papz backing away.

"Who did that? Who dared to hurt my fiancée?" I shrieked. "Remove them all," I told a security man.

"Edward, I'm okay."

"No, you're not." I hastily moved forward, dragging Bella along the never ending red carpet.

Midway, Bella grabbed my arm. "Edward, stop. Pose for a second."

"Why? I'm not in the mood."

"Don't be so selfish. It's for your fans, too."

I growled, but faced the many photographers. But then there came a girl running up, and she threw something at us.

"I hate you, Bella Swan! How dare you to think Edward is yours?! You selfish bitch! If you ever dare to hurt him, I will kill you! Kill you! Stupid whore!"

The girl was rapidly removed, just as the object she had thrown at us. I hadn't even had the chance to look at it. I looked down to Bella. Her eyes were widened in shock, and tears forming.

"Let's get inside," I said. This time she said nothing until we had our seats, close to my family.

I was an ass, a stupid fucking ass. How did I got it in my fucking head to let the Oscars be Bella's first public appearance?! This was way too much. It was nothing for Bella. Nothing at all for pregnant Bella. She was scared, I could see that. Mostly for the baby. Our baby. By putting Bella in danger, I'd also put my baby in danger. I was the biggest bastard on this planet.

I wasn't really paying attention, until Bella nudged my side. I looked up, and saw Bella and me on the big screen.

Oh great, my category.

"And the winner of the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role goes to … Edward Cullen, for his performance of Billy Costigan in the Departed." Even better: I'd won the fucking thing.

"Congrats, hon."

I kissed Bella passionately but short, and put my hand on her belly. Honor hugged me, and Jasper gave me a high-five.

I walked up the stage.

"Eh, thank you all. It really means a lot to me. I can remember how I always was watching the show on TV, and saying to myself that I would stand there myself one day. My brother said I had to stop day dreaming, but well here I am. I've to thank some people here, of course. My agent, Dusty White, the cast and crew, Andy for casting me. Not to forget my family. I love you guys, and you make me proud. Thanks for being there for me, always. But I've to thank one person in particular, because I thank my amazing life to her, she saved me. Isabella Swan, love, thank you for always being at my side, and for being my fiancée. You're the love of my existence, and I cannot wait till April. Well, thank you all again, I'm honored. I hope that I can and will approve myself. I know I haven't reached my maximum. I also want to thank Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger for their big inspiration, I've learnt a lot from you two. This one's for my unborn child." And I left off. Gosh, how cheesy could you be? Very cheesy. I could already see the headlines: _"Cheesy Cullen Accepting Speech."_

My family pushed us to the Vanity Fair after party, so I had to go.

"You're okay?"

"Yeah, a bit tired, that's all," my personal angel said. She was wearing a dark blue Chanel, a bit ruffled. Her hair was wildly curled. And she was beautiful.

We sat down, and I buried my face in her neck, kissing every spot I could reach.

We were disturbed by lots of people, who wanted to congratulate me. Jeez. And photographers, too. One wanted a portrait of the entire family, for the new issue of Vanity Fair. We also got a lot of goodie bags.

When we, the Cullen 'clan', wanted to leave the party, we were blocked by paparazzi. Again. These people were really going to underestimate my self-control. Cameras flashed not even an inch away from us.

"Fuck off, assholes!" I screamed.

"Edward, sweetie, don't make it any worse," I heard my mom say.

Even when we were 'safely' in our car, they still followed us. Bella almost jumped when something smashed against the car. I pulled her closer. "I'm so sorry, Bella. So sorry."

The days that followed were HELL. In capital letters. We couldn't go over street normally, and the first day (the day after the Oscars), Bella had gone alone, and I would never ever let that happen again. She was blocked and cornered, and she started to freak out.

And I had to see that all happen. Rosalie had called me, and told Bella was on TV. I turned it on, and there she was. Bella. My Bella. I'd gone to the place she was, almost hitting those assholes, while I made my way to Bella with my car.

It didn't get any better after that day. I saw Bella's bags grow, I saw her eating less, I saw her getting thinner, I saw her getting paler.

And I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't do this to her, and to my baby.

It was all my fault. Because of me, of me being stupid famous, she couldn't live her normal, treasured and peaceful life anymore. She had been afraid of losing it. And I, because I loved her so much, told the entire world who my girlfriend was. She couldn't have done anything to it, she couldn't defend herself. Above that, she was pregnant.

Fuck, I was such a fucking bastard.

And coward as I was, with one last glance at my sleeping Bella, one last kiss on her forehead, two letters for her and for my child, I left.

And I was up for the biggest asshole of the world.

**So, that's kinda something huh? Yeah, we're coming close to the birth. So, please, suggest your baby name ideas. Nothing is wrong.**

**10 reviews for next chapter.**

**And I know that my writing style kinda sucks, kinda boring, but I like the last part though. How it's written I mean.**

**All the outfits of the Cullen family are on my profile. I've spend a lot with researching, so I hope I picked the right ones. And also: if you have suggestions for better movies, PLEASE tell me. I was really desperate. **

**REVIEW!**

**p.s. Have you seen the latest released pics of the Vanity Fair shoot(sep 2008). Oh my gosh, I love them!**


	8. Left

**Everyone who reviewed: I love you guys. I got 6 reviews for this one, which is more than the other chapters. So, it's heading somewhere. Jaimini, thanks for proposing some baby names. Baby name suggestions are still VERY welcome. **

**Yes, Edward was an ass for leaving Bella. While being eight months pregnant. But you have to know that Edward loves her soooooo freakin much, he's just one big pessimist. He sees how much Bella's hurt, and he blames himself. He thinks, by leaving her, she will be better. Just like in New Moon.**

**Anyone interesting in being my Beta?**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns it all, I just wrap it in my own imagination.**

_~Chapter 8~  
*Left*  
by SoaneLucy13_

* * *

_To the love of my life, Bella_

_Dear Bella, love,_

_I'm sorry, truly sorry. But you don't belong in the Hollywood world, my world. I'm sorry I tried to push you into it. Don't be angry at yourself. It's all my fault. You have to know that I love you very much. I always will. __Be strong. For yourself, and for our child. Take care._

_Sorry,_

_Yours, xxx_

_Edward_

_To my beloved unborn child_

_I'm sorry I cannot be there for you and your Mommy. But you have to know that I love you, very much. You make my heart grow. Take care. I'm sorry._

_Love,_

_Your proud daddy_

And with that, Edward had left. Edward had left me. _Me_, his fiancée, the mother of his unborn child.

I had woken up in an empty bed, in an empty suite. I'd found the letters on the counter, together with his cell phone.

But that was his 'private, personal' cell. He had one for work business only, as well.

I hastily called that number.

"Hello, this is the cell phone of Edward Cullen, speak in a message after the beep."

"Edward, Edward, where are you? Please. Please, don't leave me. Don't say you left me. I need you. Edward, I need you. Please," I sobbed. I slipped down on the ground, and started to really cry.

An hour later, I heard bouncing on our suite door. A key in the lock.

"It won't open," I heard a woman say.

"Coming," I managed to say. I opened the door. For Alice, Emmett, Carlisle, Jasper, Honor and Maya.

"Whoa."

"What happened? Where's Edward? What did he do to you?" Alice blurred out, entering the suite, and looking into every room.

Emmett and Carlisle brought me to the couch.

"Bella, where's Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know. When I woke up, he was gone. He has left two notes and his personal cell. I called his work cell, but I got voicemail."

"Yeah, and he send me a text, and threw it in a trash after," Emmett declared.

"What?" I exclaimed. Maya, meanwhile, had taken her place next to me, taking me in her arms.

"Edward sent me a text, about fifty minutes ago."

"Fifty minutes? An hour ago I spoke in a message. What did he write?"

" _'Take good care of Bella and the baby. Please.'_ "

I gasped, and felt the tears coming up again. "How do you know he threw it in a trash?" I asked, remembering the thing Emmett has said.

"Because I called him again and again, and one time I got some stranger on the phone. He said he had heard the phone ringing, and had grabbed it out of the litter. It was at LAX."

"I told you guys so," Honor silently muttered.

"Huh?"

"She wasn't feeling well about Edward's behavior. She thought it looked like he was slowly pulling back, away," Jasper explained.

"Yeah, and now you see I was right. I'm not stupid. You know how Edward can blame himself. And how much he overreacts."

"What have I done wrong?" I sobbed.

"Bella, you have done _nothing _wrong. We can assure you that. Edward can assure you that. It's just how he is. As much as I hate that side of him, it makes him how he is. That's Edward," Carlisle said.

"Ah, I just can't believe he would ever do such a thing," Alice growled.

"We all couldn't."

"No, I mean, I had to see this coming. It was all so clear. Just like he had done after Clover died. He blamed himself, slowly pulled away, locked himself on his room, and walked off in the woods. He only returned because he had forgotten the power of his iPod," Alice muttered.

"Al, we're no psychos. Not even you, although you're close," Emmett tried to sooth his sister.

"I'm the closest with Edward, of all of you. Honor knows him the best, maybe, but Edward and I always had this kind of bond. We knew when something was wrong with the other. And I failed. I was too busy with myself to ask, or just listen, to his problems."

"Alice, shut it! Don't go to blame yourself. Your brother wouldn't want that," Jasper stopped her. He took her in an embrace. Alice sobbed in his shoulder, and he drew circles on her back, and kissed her head.

I had to look away. "You can go. Don't waste your time on me."

Every head turned into my direction, and they made surprised sounds.

"Bella, have you forgotten what Edward sent me? We're going to take care of you. If you want it or not. Even if Edward hadn't asked, we still would have done it."

"Emmett is right, Bella. You're coming with us. Esme and I will take you to Forks."

My first reaction was: NO! Not Forks, which was full of memories of Edward and me.

My second reaction was: Yes. Because hell no I didn't want my child to be born in a hectic city like LA. Full of paparazzi. I had seen enough paparazzi for a life-time this week. So Forks was better than LA, or New York. Peaceful, no smog, fresh air.

I just wanted to sleep, to hide under a huge rock. I wanted this nightmare to be over. I wanted Edward back, at my side, telling me it was just a bad dream.

The room and my family started to shake, and my sight became blurry. I heard a high, broken sound, but I couldn't place what it was.

"Bella, sh, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay," Maya soothed me.

Oh great.

One: I was the one making that sound.

Two: My three year younger sister was soothing _me_.

And three: Gosh, how badly I wanted Maya to be Edward.

* * *

"You want to know how I met Carlisle?" Esme asked me.

It was sunny, rare for the cloudy and rainy Olympic Peninsula. Emse and I were enjoying the sun, wrapped up in blankets, though.

"Sure." Any distraction would be fine. Anything that would distract me from the hole in my chest.

"Carlisle is from London, as you probably already know…"

"Yeah, Edward," I cringed with saying his name," has mentioned it."

"I was a model, young, naïve, and I had a shoot in London. I was fourteen, just discovered and a hit. We had a break, so me and some other models decided to discover the neighborhood. We stopped at a café. It was an indie café, as the interior showed. We took one of the tables facing the street. The other girls were all whispering about this blonde guy. I just rolled my eyes at it, I wasn't interested in boys. Independent, feministic. When I wanted to use the girls room, I bummed into a guy, and I almost fell down. But just before I touched the ground, the guy of topic took hold of me. I _did _bruised my ankle though, but it could have been much worse, wasn't it that Carlisle caught me. There was a table close to me, and I could have hit my head pretty badly."

I smiled. I could picture it. Young Esme bumping into Carlisle.

"Well, I was smitten to that damn boy immediately. He was seventeen, then, and worked as a waiter. Gosh, how gorgeous he was then, still is by the way.

"Hello, I'm Carlisle, are you okay?" he said with that melting British accent.

"Hi, I'm Esme, Esme Platt. I'm okay, thanks. My ankle just hurts a bit."

"Oh, okay. Wait here." He put me on a barstool, and disappeared through the employee door. The girls were eying me, mouth open. He came back with a first aid kit and some ice. "What are you doing here?" he asked while putting a cast around my ankle. He had probably heard my faint American accent, or the lack of a British one.

"Work."

"Work? Aren't you a bit too young to work? No offence."

"You can never be too young for modeling."

"You're a model?"

"Eh, yeah," I blushed. It felt as if my face was burning.

"Wow, that's cool."

I nodded.

"So, I think it's okay now. Be careful with it, though. Don't overwork it."

"Okay. Thanks again."

"My pleasure," he smiled.

We left the café soon after. I was looking at him over my shoulder, and so I almost crashed against the door, not seeing it. The other models could warn me just before I hit it."

"Ah, that's sweet. But how did you met again?"

"Ten years later. Carlisle had moved to the US, gotten his medicine degree. I had fallen of a cliff, when I was doing a photo shoot. I almost died, but Carlisle saved me. Again. It was coincidence he worked in the closest hospital. We never have been apart since."

I smiled to her. "Yeah, you two are meant to be," I said, becoming sad. Why Edward and I can't be like them?

"Bella, hon, I could say the same about my son and you. Don't think Edward doesn't love you. I've never seen anyone so much in love as him. Edward can be an ass, sometimes. He's a pessimist. I know that. And I hate it. But nobody can do anything about that. I would say, proof it. Proof him how much you love him. But I won't. You're pregnant, close to giving birth. But I think Emmett and Jasper will do something about it. They won't let him go so easily," she said, with a hand on my arm. "Rose and Tristan will come tomorrow," she added, and she grabbed her scrapbook again, Esme was busy with decorating the kids room, here in the Cullen house.

I closed my eyes, but I didn't see the beautiful, nice things I wanted to see. I saw the photos, videos, articles, covers, headlines of the past week. Drunk Edward, surrounded by women, who were all over him. _'The way how Edward Cullen celebrates his Oscar'_ and _'Edward Cullen's fiancée vanished'_.

It hurt me. It fucking, freaking hurt me. After all, I was still wearing his ring, I was pregnant of him. I just wanted to walk up to him, throw the vodka or whatever he was drinking out of his hand, and kiss him.

But I couldn't. I was stuck here.

**Poor Bella. But Edward is depressed. He's not enjoying it at all. That you know. And his family is Really angry at him, it's not that they talk away his sins. They just know Edward isn't an easy person.**

**FAQ's:  
~ Clover was Edward's dog. She was hit by a car.  
~ The blonde guy were all the models were looking at was, of course, Carlisle.**

**And I know it's all very cliché and all, but well I like how it is now. **

**9 reviews = update. Don't forget to suggest your ideas for a name. You could also just write it in a message, if you don't want to put it in a review.**

**OH, and have you seen the latest released scenes of New Moon? Gosh, I love them. **


	9. Seeking and Finding

**Hey hay! Okay, sorry for the long time it took to get it up. My parents were in Paris, and I had to stay over at a friend's, and bla bla bla. But now it's on. :)**

**27 reviews in total now. I'm still going to ask for 9 reviews. Just try your best. And Edward is not so loved around here, I noticed from your reviews. Well, I'm Team Edward here, obsessively, so I could never really harm him. That y'all now. **

**And I want to introduce someone to you: AlUvmusic. My Beta. Thanks so much!**

**Title is lame, I know. If you have a better one, pleasssssssssse say. For the rest enjoy and review!**

_~Chapter 9~  
*Seeking and Finding*  
by SoaneLucy13_

Today, Rosalie had pulled me out of the house to go to First Beach, on the Quileute rez, together with her and Tristan. Tristan was five months now, and so adorable. He was smiling a lot. Rose and Emmett were really naturals. If you saw pictures of Rosalie before, seeming cold, you could clearly see the difference that motherhood had brought. She was sparkling now.

We had walked on the beach for quite a while, when I had to sit down. Rose joined me and pulled Tristan onto her lap. We looked over the ocean. Tears rolled over my cheek.

"Oh, Bella, hon. It will come okay. I promise you," Rosalie said, moving her hand over my back.

"Have you heard anything of Edward?"

"Em and Jazz are looking for him now. But he seems to avoid them. Carlisle is going to New York tonight."

I nodded. If there was anyone who could reason with Edward, it was Carlisle.

"It's just because he's angry at himself, Bella," Rosalie continued. "He freaked out at the Oscars, and the time after. He's stubborn as hell. He pictured you at his side. But it wasn't all so lovely and perfect as he had expected. We all know how much Edward still loves you."

I wasn't so sure about that. "How do you know?"

"Bella," Rosalie sighed. "We have all seen him change after he met you. He started sparkling, and he was cheerful. When he was in London, he didn't talk to any of us. He was just in his trailer and filming scenes. I see the look in his eyes whenever he sees you. It's equal to the look Em and Jazz have, when they see me or Alice. Love, adoration, passion…"

A sudden squall hit us, and I shivered. I longed for warm chocolate or tea and blankets.

"Shall we go back?"

"Sure." Tristan was now deeply asleep in her arms.

When I was stumbling back to the parking lot, with Rosalie next to me, I got the feeling we were being watched. I turned my head and saw some tall men, some 50 feet away from us. They looked familiar.

"Bella? Bella!" one of the tallest screamed to me, and who came running up to us. Jake. And his mates.

He took me in a hug, but my little nudger was in the way. And protesting.

"Watch out, Jake," I warned him.

He looked down, and saw my baby bump. "So it's true?"

"What?" I saw Rosalie a few feet ahead, clearly annoyed. She wasn't really friends with the Quileutes.

"You're really pregnant of that bastard," he scowled.

Rosalie hissed.

"I don't know why you're talking like that, Jake. But as you can see, yes I'm pregnant, of Edward. And he isn't bastard."

"Yes, he is! He's cheating on you, Bella! He's drunk everyday, he has another girl everyday. And I heard he's now with that costar of his, Tanya Denali. While he's still officially engaged with the mother of his unborn child! Open your eyes, Bella. Edward isn't Prince Charming, or the prince on the white horse!" he spat. His friends had come closer.

I cringed. I hadn't known about _that_. Or, at least, I'd tried to banish it from my mind. Yes, I'd seen pictures of him being drunk, surrounded by women, but nothing more. Tears came again. And still I felt the urge to defend Edward. I realized once again, that whatever Edward did, he would always stay the love of my life, my existence. I wasn't whole without Edward. There was nobody who could fill the emptiness, the big hole in my chest. With the exception of Edward himself.

"Shut it, Jake," I sobbed.

Jake saw how broken I was. "Bella, you know I would never do such a thing, right? I would never ever leave you," he said, placing a hand on my cheek. I looked away.

"Fuck off, Jacob Black! You don't know the details. And thanks for making her even more upset. Just what she needed," Rosalie almost growled to him. She took hold of me. "C'mon Bella, let's get out of here," Rosalie hissed, her voice still full of hatred. She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the parking lot.

"It's just the truth, dumb blonde!" Jake cried after us.

She didn't respond on him, but I could see how upset and angry she was. If it wouldn't be that she had her little boy in her arms, she would have slapped Jacob. Hard.

She helped me getting in her red BMW convertible.

When we arrived at the Cullen's house, I immediately went for Edward's room. I ignored Rosalie and Esme calling after me, saying that the food was ready. I ducked under the covers and sobbed.

I felt alone. Terribly, pathetically alone. As to proof me wrong, my nudger kicked me.

"Of course I'm not alone. I always have you," I said, and circled my hand on my stomach. I decided to just spit it out. My fears, my worries…Everything.

"Don't think that your Daddy is a bad person. He's the most sweetest, caring person I've ever met. I can remember that day clearly. It was my first day of high school here in Forks. I was seventeen. Maya, your auntie, was fourteen, so she was in her last year of middle school, eighth grade. I was a junior. I soon acquainted with Eric Yorkie, Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley, Angela Weber and Tyler Crowley. When you're born, they will soon come to see you, my beautiful angel. In the cafeteria, with lunch, it was the first time I saw him, Edward, your Daddy. I was drawn to him immediately. It was like a spotlight was shine upon him. I couldn't get a thing through my throat anymore. It turned out we were Biology partners. He didn't say a word, then. After gym, which Mommy hates very much, I wanted to go home as soon as possible, and I was already a little late for picking up Maya. I didn't see where I was walking, and so I bumped into someone. Yes, Edward. I was so embarrassed, and I hastily walked away. But I felt his gaze, burning on my back.

Edward Cullen dominated my thoughts. I hardly could think of anything else. Maya recognized my absence, of course. She was in the same grade as Honor Rose, Edward's younger sister. Edward had picked her up, and Honor saw the strange look in her brother's eyes. So, my sister questioned me until I confessed. It turned out I'd crushed on a very famous Hollywood teen actor. Great. But Mommy couldn't do anything about the butterflies she felt whenever she was thinking about Daddy. That's how we met. I know that your Daddy isn't around, right now, but I know he loves you. He loves you with all he has, and you make him so happy. I don't know where he is, or what he's doing, but you will always be with him. He will look after it that you will be okay, no matter where he is. Right next to you, or 3000 miles away," I told my baby. I wanted it to know about its Daddy. And it also soothed _me_.

Then I felt my fears coming up again. Together with the tears. "I just miss him so much. I don't want to raise you on my own; I want your Daddy being close to you. I can't…live without him, I need him. For you, myself and his family. I can't be a single mom. I haven't got my minors finished yet, and I…I…I'm just twenty-three," I sobbed. I cried all my tears out, and even let out some screams. "Why me?! Why does this have to happen to me? _Why_?!"

When I was done with all the crying and screaming, I heard something else. Someone else was sobbing, now. I removed the covers of my face and turned around, meeting the red cried eyes of my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws.

I cringed. That wouldn't come true. Edward had left me; he had made clear that the engagement was off. Stubborn as I was, I had refused to put off his ring, fearing that when I did, it would really be true. Esme felt like my second mom, and Rose and Honor like my sisters. But that was it. It would just be a feeling. I would never become their daughter or sister-in-law. If I had to give them a tag, it would have to be the mother of my best friend and my sister's best friend, one of my best friends, and my sister's best friend.

I felt myself blushing.

"Eh…I'm sorry Bella. We didn't want to make you uncomfortable. We just wanted to check on you."

"No, it's okay. Just forget my pathetic talking. I heard there was food?"

I saw them sharing a glance, but I didn't respond on it, and descended the stairs.

* * *

On Tuesday morning, I came downstairs, having slept in Edward's bed, and I heard Esme and Emmett speaking, together with the sound of the TV. That meant Emmett, and Jasper probably as well, had quit with seeking Edward and begging him to come home.

"Emmett, turn the TV off. I don't want that Bella sees this," Esme hissed. "She's already so upset."

"Don't worry, Esme. I already know," I said, with a fake calm tone, while walking in the living room. I was wearing one of Edward's shirts, since my own were all too small.

Esme turned around and blushed. She saw the familiar t-shirt and let out a faint gasp. "I'm sorry honey, so sorry. I've called your mother, by the way. She's on her way. I thought you had said you would like her to be with you, while giving birth, you know."

"Yeah, thanks." I took her in a hug, as far as I could.

She smiled. "And your father has been calling a lot, too. He was afraid that you didn't want to see him."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but shall I call and say he's welcome."

"Please." I felt so sorry for my Dad. He hadn't wanted all this crap. It had scared the shit out of him when Maya and I both planned to attend the Oscars. Of course, he had followed all the things written about me, showed about me, and so on. He knew everything. I had been scared to contact him, knowing how angry he would be, how scared, how terrified.

"You wanna do groceries this noon?"

"Sure."

"Okay, I will be in my office for now," and she walked away with her coffee.

I turned to Emmett, who was gazing at the flat screen, but certainly not seeing what he was watching. "When did you arrive?"

"An hour ago." His voice made clear what his posture already had given away. He was hiding something from me.

"Emmett, please tell me what you know. I _have _to know."

"Bella, you don't _want _to know," he said, still not looking at me.

"Well, you're dead wrong, 'cause I want to know. I want to know everything about Edward. Always."

"Yeah, we know that."

"Emmett."

He finally looked at me. "Jazz and I first found him in a bar, somewhere in Manhattan. Totally under the weather, and he looked miserable and terrible as hell. Like he didn't know what he was doing. Women took advantage of that. I mean, if you bump into Edward sex hair Cullen, who's totally busted, well than you would know what to do. But when he saw us, he hastily stood up and ran away, as fast as he could. We checked all the hotels in the New York area for an Edward Cullen, but he or has used another name or slept at a friend's. He didn't go to New Haven, for sure. Every time we found him, he managed to escape. We couldn't handle it anymore. We were dying to be with our women again, and we were totally broke. It's not cool to see your little brother tearing himself apart. And Jasper, who's always so sensitive over emotions…To make things worse, Tanya Denali came in view. She knew Edward was depressed and all. She had crushed on him back in the summer. She made their relationship publicly. Now, Carlisle's reasoning with him. Dad's phone's off, so we don't know how it's going. Jasper and Alice will come over anytime these days. Alice wasn't feeling well when we wanted to leave, so that's why I came alone. She says it's just a temporary flu, and that they're able to catch a flight in a week."

I swallowed. It felt as if all the blood has disappeared out of my face.

* * *

Esme and I had just stuffed all the groceries in Esme's SUV.

"Oh shoot, I forgot something. I have to catch up with Dorothy (Dorothy is Angela's mom). Could you wait here?"

"No problem." But I shivered.

"Go to the pub, across the street. It's warmer in there, and I don't want you to catch a cold. It will just take a minute."

"No, I'm okay."

"Bella," she said, sternly.

She hastily drove away – what was it with all the Cullens driving so fast? - and I walked to the bar.

I sat in a booth near the door, having a strong tea, when I heard people talking.

"You know what?"

"No."

"Edward Cullen's back in town."

The others gasped, just as I did. "Really? How do you know?"

"Joe and I saw Dr Cullen tanking gas. The passenger window was open, and Edward Cullen was clearly on the seat. The doctor talked with Hank, and said he would pay a visit to the hospital, before he would go home. Man, that boy looked like crap. Even worse than Elliot's boy, James I believe."

"Holy shit."

"The druggie?" another asked.

"Yep."

"Whoa, then he must look really bad…"

"Hey, doesn't he have a pregnant fiancée here?"

"Could be."

"Now that you say, I've heard something about that, too…"

I needed to get of here. Fast.

I hastily pulled out some money, and walked out. I saw the men glancing towards me. It had started to get colder, and it was drizzling. Great. Really, really great. I looked to see if Esme was back already. Not. Even if it was cold and drizzling, I didn't want to go back in.

I looked up the road, impatient for Esme to come. Her black SUV couldn't be missed.

And then I saw it.

A black Mercedes. Not a, but _the _black Mercedes. No one had a Mercedes like that.

Except Carlisle.

Carlisle was back. Back from New York. From Edward. And he didn't saw me, but his passenger did. Hell no I could miss him.

Edward.

Edward was really back. And the man from the bar hadn't overreacted. Edward really looked like crap.

I felt my legs shiver and give up.

"Bella! Bella, hon," I heard Esme cry, not long after the car had passed. She took me in her arms.

"Bella, did your water broke?" She looked down to look if it had. "No, no water. What happened?" Her voice was full with fear.

"He's back," was all I could say.

**Yeah he's back. I know, it's fast. **

**Had a meeting with Edward's old Volvo today. Enjoyed it very much, although it was just a few seconds.**

**Have you seen _'Save Her'_ and _MTV Ulalume: Interview with New Moon Cast & Birthday Scene_? Sooooo awesome**

**9 reviews.**


	10. Lost in the Dark

**Sorry, sorry, sorry for the late update. Have been very busy with school, bleh, 10th grade sucks so hard. And the New Moon craziness of course! I'm sorry, but that movie and it's promotion is way more important than my FanFiction. Wow, it's been eight days since I saw it for the first time. I'm on 2 times right now. What about you all? Would love to talk with you about the movie. For anyone who wants to know: my favourite scene is the reunion scene, in Volterra. Team Edward, huh? Everyone in the theatre was like ahhh when the call interrupted Bella and Jacob, but I was like yesss. Okay, I'm not going to spill anything here.**

**Thank you guys! I've gotten 9 reviews for chapter 9! Love you. Special thanks to **_**InLuvWithTheSupernatural**_** for her suggestions, especially the amazing song. :)**

**Songs I think really fit Bella and Edward in this and former chapters:  
**_*** Anya Marina - Satellite Heart  
* Ingrid Michaelson - Corner of Your Heart  
* Death Cab for Cutie - Soul Meets Body  
* Kelly Clarkson - Haunted**_

**"Title Song"  
**_**Goo Goo Dolls - Sympathy**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, it all belongs to the super duper awesome Stephenie Meyer. I just dip it into my imagination. The title is a lyric of the song _Satellite Heart._**

* * *

Edward was back.

The entire drive to the Cullen house, I was shaking, and I'd bitten so hard on my bottom lip that it was bleeding.

"Bella, don't worry. We will sort it out," Esme soothed me, grabbing my hand. But I could see she was nervous, angry and panicked herself.

There it was: Carlisle's black Mercedes. Along Rosalie's red BMW convertible, Emmett's Jeep, Edward's Aston Martin Vanquish, Jasper's motor (Alice only had permitted to drive it in the woods here in the Forks area, because there wasn't much of traffic, and that she was always close).

I swallowed.

When we entered the house, I felt ripped apart. One part of me wanted to be hold in Edward's arms, to kiss him. But the other part wanted to slap him across his cheek, or ignore him. Not for myself -If it was for me, addicted to Edward Cullen as if he was my oxygen, I would choose option 1 without hesitation-. No, I would do it for my nudger.

That's what I did. My baby's life being more important than my own, I walked straight to Edward's room, ignoring the people in the house. When I walked up the stairs, I thought I heard Edward whispering "Is that Bella?"

I hid under the covers, just as I'd done some days ago, and let my tears and all my emotions the free way. I put my hands on my enormous belly. "What do I have to do? Do you know what Mommy has to do? Mommy is lost. You see, she loves your Daddy very much, but he had left me, left us, he humiliated me. And now he's back. Oh, I don't know," I sobbed, louder.

When the time passed by, I vaguely noticed the sky getting darker and turning into black blindness, I vaguely noticed lights turning on, I vaguely noticed movements in the house, I vaguely heard voices around…Well, I had hell no idea how late it actually was. I ignored the hunger and need I felt. I ignored everything.

After some time, I heard more voices at the same time, but one stood out.

"Where is she? Where is Bella?"

Alice. Alice had arrived. Sooner than expected. Her flu must be over.

Oh gosh, I'd really missed her.

"No. No, Edward, you have to stay out of this for now. I'll first check on her." …. "No, I'm not going to fix your problems for you. Do it yourself." …

Footsteps on the stairs, becoming louder with every second. "Bella? Bella, hon, are you in here?"

I pulled the blankets off my head.

"Oh Bella," she sighed, and rushed to my side, taking me in a tight embrace. "What happened to you?"

"The usual. Trying to cope with the fact that the love of my existance and fiancé abruptly left, while being eight months on the way," I sniffed, whipping away the tears under my eyes.

Alice had tears in her eyes, as well. "Jeez, Edward is such a stupid jerk. You want to see him? 'Cause man, that boy is mopping and begging to see you."

"I don't know. I really don't know, Alice. I want to kiss him senseless, but I also want to slap him full on his cheek.

"Well, you can do both."

I rolled my eyes. And sighed. "He hurt me, Al, he hurt me so much. But most of all, he hurt my baby, _our_ baby, _his _baby. You know that if it would be just for myself, I would just walk up to him, cry and swear, but then it would be okay…"

"Hell yes, I know that," she chuckled.

"But that's not the case. He has a child, an unborn child yes, but nonetheless a child. He left me, all alone, pregnant. Of _him_. It doesn't feel right to just forgive him. _I _have forgiven him, but _my baby and I _haven't. You understand?"

Alice nodded and bit her lip, something Alice rarely did. It would ruin her lips, she said.

She took one of my hands and looked me square in the eyes. "Bella, I'm so, so sorry, for what has happened to you. And I hate my brother so much. I never, ever could have thought he would ever do such a thing. And then to _you_, the most important person in his entire life. To my best friend, and sister. But still, he's my brother. He's like a twin brother to me, and I know that the Edward we've seen on the news and in magazines these days, isn't the real Edward. It's not the sweet, caring, brooding, protective, passionate Edward we know, the Edward we know is really him. He isn't himself whenever you aren't near him. That's the truth, Bella. I've learned to notice that. I can remember, when we were on a holiday in Italy, and you wasn't there…You were visiting your aunt in Juneau or something…Man, Edward was grumpy all day. While he used to love, to crave, our holidays in Tuscany! My dad's best friend, Aro Volturi is from there, and he has a second house near Volterra. We, especially when we were all younger, used to spent most of our holidays there…"

Aro Volturi was an in Tuscany born and raised director. He was a genius, and had made some serious masterpieces. Together with his Italian wife Sulpicia, their children Aro and Jane, he lived in London. Aro and Jane were a twin, and were about the same age as Alice. Jane and she had been childhood besties. Alec and Honor had been in a relationship for a long time.

"But when we were there, around Christmas…Jeez, he was swearing so much, all these dirty words. Even when we were in a church, for god's sake! He didn't pay attention to his environment. Mom got pretty pissed…" Alice said, a smile appearing on her face. "Not that he cared he had to stay on his room for the rest of the day. Esme isn't that religious, it was just she was so embarrassed for him _and _she has respect for people who do have a religion. Her grandma was religious, and mom loved to go to church with her. But to come back to the story, which is Edward being all pissy in Tuscany…"

I chuckled and shook my head.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just missed you so much."

"Missed you, too, bestie."

"Flu's over?"

"Yup. It was a shorty. And Esme would never, ever let me near when I would have a flu. Trust me."

I nodded.

"So, how's my nephew/niece doing?" she asked to my bump.

"Good, very good. Growing and kicking…" I said, placing a hand on it.

Alice clasped in her hands. "I can't wait till I can see it!"

"Girls! Dinner is ready!" Esme cried.

We looked in each other's eyes.

"Bella, you need to eat something. But if you don't want to speak to Edward, I can take care of that. Don't feel bad about it. C'mon, give Edward his deserved payback. Although I must say my brother is a mess right now. After Carlisle confronted him with the truth, he couldn't hide anymore, couldn't ignore it, you, his heart. He's really depressed, and I'm sure he will not forgive himself in thousand years. But that won't take away his previous behavior."

I bit my lip, I felt my heartbeat speed up with every step we came closer to the kitchen. To Edward.

Only Esme, Carlisle, Honor and Jasper were in the kitchen. The others were spread over the ground floor: the living room, dining room…and music room.

I could clearly hear the music made by a piano coming out of the room were the Cullens had stuffed all their instruments and music installations.

Only one person in the entire world could play like this.

Edward Cullen. _My _Edward.

Jasper rushed to my side. "Bella, are you okay?" He seemed somewhat stressed.

"I'm fine. But you, something's wrong?"

"You know Jazzy boy, dead worried about his little thing here," Emmett said, while entering the kitchen and pointing to Alice, who shook her head. "Hey, too, Bella," he nodded towards me.

I smiled in reply.

"Emmett, you just got your meal. Finished already?" his mother commented.

"Mom…"

"Just teasing you, boy," she laughed, handing him another portion. She grabbed two more plates out of the cabinet and stuffed different kinds of food on them. "Here you go," Esme said while handing the plates over to Alice and me.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"It's delicious, mom," Honor said, between bites.

Then the music stopped. In a reflex, my body froze.

"Don't worry Bella, we've already told Edward you need some space first. He won't come near you any soon," Jasper told me.

But I wasn't calmed. I knew how utterly stubborn Edward could be.

A second later, I was proofed death right.

Because Edward walked in the kitchen that moment.

"Sure Jasper," I muttered, keeping my eyes on the plate in front of me.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Honor said. You could vaguely hear a hurt and angry undertone in her voice. She slammed down her plate and walked to the hallway, upstairs. Something was going on between Edward and Honor. 'Cause normally, Honor never was angry on Edward.

"I'm gonna check on Rose and Tristan," Emmett told, and walked off, too.

I saw Alice sharing a glance with Jasper.

"I'm tired, I'm going to bed. It was delicious, Esme, really," I said, after I'd collected enough courage to do if there was nothing going on, as if Edward wasn't ten feet away from me.

Nobody said anything, but when I walked to the stairs, I heard the voices coming out of the kitchen. And I couldn't do but just stay and listen.

"Edward, I know how desperate you are, but no, she isn't ready for it!" Alice cried.

"Fuck off, Alice. Don't tell me what do to," Edward growled.

"Edward!"

The door opened, and my breath stocked in my throat.

There, in all his glory – although he looked worse- was Edward.

"Bella, we really need to talk," he growled.

"I'm tired, Edward…" Jeez, why was it so hard to say his fucking name. I wasn't a teenager anymore. I was fucking twenty-three and becoming a mom within a month! "I just want to sleep. I hope you don't mind I'm sleeping in your bed." With my heart screaming in protest, I turned around and made it for the stairs.

But a firm and strong hand grabbed hold of my upper arm and turned me back around. "Bella," he growled.

This wasn't the Edward I knew, this wasn't the Edward the world had learned to know this past week, this was a desperate Edward. An Edward I didn't know. But, who I loved with all my heart. No matter what, I would always love Edward. Always.

"Edward, let her go, now!" Carlisle beamed, standing in the doorway. I could vaguely see Esme's head behind his shoulder. I'd never experienced Carlisle so violent. And let alone to his son, youngest son.

"No, it's okay Carlisle, I've got it," I told them.

But they didn't walk off.

Without looking him in the eye –that would definitely be the death of my I'm-going-to-ignore-Edward act- I told him to let me go.

* * *

I couldn't sleep.

One part of me wanted to crawl into bed with Edward, who was sleeping on the couch in the living room. I felt really bad. But the other part – stubborn Bella part- wanted to keep my foot down.

I slightly opened the door, and heard faint sounds coming from the door across. I knocked and opened the door.

There, on the dark blue leather couch – equal to Edward's black one- sat Alice and Honor.

On first sight, you never would guess Alice and Honor were sisters, sisters by just two years. Alice had black hair and hazel green eyes. Honor, instead, had bronze hair and green blue eyes. Alice was more like a fairy, short and thin. Honor was taller.

But now, you could clearly see they were sisters.

"Hey Bella," Alice said. "Come sit down, we were watching old home videos."

I tiptoed to the couch and slid under the covers.

Alice smiled at me. "This is Labor Day 1996. Our usual Cullen Baseball tournament."

Every Labor Day, the Cullens played baseball. They had tried to get me in, too, but I'd refused. One time, they had gotten me so far, but I'd been so bad, even Edward told me how clumsy I was. Not that I minded, after that they let me free to just watch.

* * *

Forty nine hours.

That's how long it took Edward to break down my shield.

I ignored him, as best as I could, and whenever I was alone I cried. He tried to talk to me during breakfast, even when I was out for a walk with Alice and London, Carlisle and Esme's dog, he caught up with us. The entire day, it seemed as if he never gave up.

But when he didn't seem to succeed during dinner, he removed himself to the music room. According to Rosalie, he didn't come out till breakfast, the next morning.

I stayed on my – Edward's- room. I felt bad. Really, really bad. Not sic, like a flu, but heartbreaking sic. My resolve was weak. I knew I would give up soon.

Alice brought me breakfast on bed, and we ate together.

I looked to her, a question in my eyes, and she knew what I wanted to know, what I couldn't ask with words.

"We haven't seem him really much. We didn't talk to him after…well you know…He hardly comes out of the music room. It's even locked. Jasper doesn't like that, since he was dying to jam on his guitar, with the other boys ya know. I don't know, Bella, I really don't know. He scares me, it worries me…"

Alice was really hurt.

"I'm so sorry, Alice."

"Bella, don't say that. Don't ever be sorry." She threw her toast on the plate. "Come downstairs."

She brought me to the living room. We enjoyed ourselves by playing games on the PlayStation – non physical things of course- with everyone. Except Edward.

Once again, I was showed how competitive the Cullens were. Even Esme and Carlisle.

Around noon, I went to my room to rest for awhile. A piece of paper was stuffed under the door. It was double folded, and it read _Bella_. Edward. I opened it.

_Stranger than your sympathy  
And this is my apology  
I killed myself from the inside out  
And all my fears have pushed you out_

I felt tears streaming down my cheeks.

I don't know how long I stand there, in Edward's room, staring at the cream colored piece of paper. But after some time, I just cracked. I crushed to the floor, hysteric sobs taking over me.

It wasn't long before Alice came up the stairs.

"Bella, is everything okay?" she asked, concerned.

I couldn't find my words, so I handed her the small letter.

She was silent for a few seconds.

"He's in the living room," was all she said.

And I knew my destiny. I had to go downstairs, I had to face him, I had to talk to him.

It felt like a déjà vu when Alice and I descended the two flight of stairs, me biting my lip and my heart speeding up with every step I came closer to Edward.

Every head turned into our direction when we stepped in. Except one. The man with the bronze hair, whom I'd lost my heart to so many years ago, didn't. He didn't move. His head was bent down, in his hands, his back to us.

Alice cleared her throat.

Edward's head shoot up, and he turned around. His eyes widened when he noticed me, and I felt them examining my body. When he was done, his face was full of hurt and anger. He wanted to turn away again and stand up, but Jasper and Emmett hold him down.

"Don't dare to walk away from this."

Alice half danced towards Jasper, and cuddled against his legs. Jasper's face expression immediately softened, and a smile appeared on his face. All for his pixie of course.

"I'm sorry, Bella. So sorry," Edward muttered, facing the floor in front of him. "I'm sure you don't want to wear my ring anymore. And I understand if you don't want our child near me. I wouldn't want that, at least. I'm sorry for not being the person you wanted me to be."

That did it.

If he was playing the I-hate-myself-card again, well, then I wasn't listening. Bull shit.

As fast as I could, I walked over to him. "Edward, look at me."

He shook his head.

"Edward, love, look at me."

At "love" he growled. "Don't call me like that. I don't deserve it. Don't make it any worse."

"You know what, Edward? I love you. I fucking love you. I want you. And the lyrics you gave me are fucking beautiful and sweet. Just deal with that, but don't dare to ever do that to me again. To our baby. _Our _baby, Edward." So, I'd said it.

"Shut it, Bella." Still not meeting my eyes.

"No, Edward, _you_ shut it." I bent down and slapped him hard on his cheek, with my left hand. Yes, the one with my engagement ring.

He gasped in surprise. "What the hell was that for?"

"Payback. For my little nudger. And this…" I brought my face closer to his "is for myself." And I kissed him. Roughly, fiercely, passionately…

I heard Emmett and Jasper clearing their throats, and Alice giggling.

"Oh shit, not again. Why do you always win?" Emmett growled.

"Because my wife is a psycho."

"That's just cheating, Jazz."

"You can't cheat when there aren't any rules, Em."

Emmett sighed.

"Men," I heard Rosalie sigh, you could almost hear her rolling her eyes.

"Bella, breathe," Edward muttered against my lips. He placed his forehead against mine, and gazed with his green eyes in mine. They were full of regret.

The Cullens all laughed when we faced them again.

"Okay…that was unexpected. You should get Bella angry more times," Emmett joked.

"That's not funny, Emmett," Edward scowled.

"So, brother dear, tell me about you leaving. Why? What did you do after? And all the other shit," Alice demanded.

Edward looked at me. As if he was asking my permission. "It's…eh…hard to explain. I don't like to talk about it."

"I don't care."

"Thanks, Alice," he huffed. But he _did _go on. "I left because I saw how much pain I put Bella into, how much discomfort. I'd pushed her into something she didn't like at all. Bella doesn't belong in the Hollywood, my world…"

"I belong with _you_," I whispered.

Edward turned to me, and cupped my face in his hands. "Yes you do. I came to realize that. I left so I couldn't hurt her anymore. I left off to New York, far away from her. But I hadn't expected I would get so desperate to catch the next plane to Seattle. To let it go away, I went to bars and drunk. But it was always with me, Bella was always in my mind. I saw her every where…"

"And what about Tanya? And the other girls?" Rose asked. That was the thing what made her the most furious. That he'd left me to protect me against him, okay she found it stupid, but she could quite understand it. But that he was having girls…well, that made Rosalie furious. Me being pregnant of him only made it worse.

Both Edward and I cringed.

"That was a big mistake. It wasn't fair to Tanya, I admit."

"But that bitch told the whole world that you two were dating!" Rosalie shouted.

"Rose, babe," Emmett tried to sooth his wife.

"Don't "Rose" me, Em. Edward here, hurt this entire family. He humiliated all of us. But worst of all, he had the guts to leave his fucking fiancée, who was eight months pregnant of him! Do you know how hard it was to see Bella suffer, everyday? Have you any idea, Edward? She tried, she really tried. So hard. She'd lost her light, her life, but she went on. For her baby. And that hurt me, too. I have it all. I'm happily married, with a man who's faithful as heaven, I have a beautiful little boy…And Bella had lost that all. She thought she would have to raise her miracle alone. Don't even _think_ you can just walk in here, and make everything okay in a second. You just can't do that," she spat. She really looked as if she could kill Edward.

"Rose, Rosalie, enough. Come here," Emmett ordered. He took here in a fierce embrace.

"Emmett Henry Cullen, let me go!"

But he threw her over his shoulder. "I'm gonna let Rose blow off her steam."

Translation: I'm going to fuck her senseless.

Rosalie groaned, but stopped with banging on his back.

Everyone chuckled nervously.

I swallowed. I had to ask. "Edward, did you cheat on me?"

When it had come out of my mouth, I knew I didn't want to hear his answer, though.

I saw him swallowing, too. Panic in his eyes.

"How many?"

"Three," he whispered.

Then, out of the blue, a fist hit Edward on his eye.

Honor.

I hadn't even really noticed her. She had sat down near the window wall, looking over the forest. She hadn't moved till now.

"You fucking bastard. You know what? For the first time in my _entire_ life, I regret the fact that you are my brother. I'm ashamed of you." And she lifted her hand to hit her favorite brother, her hero, again.

But she was stopped by two arms, grabbing her. "Honor, stop it. Go to your room. We will take care of this," Carlisle told his junior. He let go of her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"No. I'm not a teen anymore! I am twenty. Twenty! Yes, I'm the youngest of this family, but that doesn't mean you have to threat me like a kid!" She was close to tears.

"Honor Rose, listen to your father. Go. Now," Esme ordered. Esme was the one who always gave the final push for Honor. Carlisle was always right, and because of that, Honor wanted to reason with him. But she couldn't deny her mother's severe tone.

"You have to do a lot to get back my respect, _Edward_," she spat at her brother when she left off to her room. Honor hardly used Edward, she preferred to use Ed, but only when she was really emotional she used his full name. At the stairs, she stamped hard with her feet.

Esme sighed. "I will get you ice," she said to Edward.

For the first time in two days, I watched him. He'd grown thinner and paler. "I'm going to get some fresh air," I said.

"Bella, don't leave…" Edward stopped me.

"You can come with me, if you want."

"Bella, do you mind if we talk with Edward, first?" Carlisle asked.

"Oh, okay. No, that's okay, yes. I will just be right outside." Before I _was_ outside, I heard the loud voices coming out of the living room.

"Don't you ever dare to do this again, Edward Cullen! How could you? Have you ever heard of talking, Edward? Didn't you know we were always there for you, for our family? You've hurt us all!" Esme told her son.

"You're mother is right, son. You have to work hard to get back our respect, our thrust. Starting with Bella, although I believe she has already forgiven you. But still you have to work hard for her, for your baby. She deserves it, if she wants it or not. And you have to apologize."

"Especially to Honor, Edward. You're her big brother. You've always been there for her. And now she feels left. She feels like you ditched on her," Alice added.

"Good luck, bro," was Jasper's comment.

I quickly stepped outside when I heard moving.

Edward soon appeared. He still looked hurt. "Bella, have you forgiven me?"

"Eh, yeah."

"When?"

"Edward, I was never really angry at you. Just hurt. I mean, I can understand you…"

He made a sound of disgust. "I don't deserve you." Edward saw I wanted to argue about that, so he changed back the subject. "Why did you forgive me?"

"Because I love you. And I need you. I need you in my life. In our baby's life."

He looked away.

"Edward, could you please stop with hating yourself?" I said, grabbing his face in my hands. "People make wrong decisions. That just happens. And yours wasn't even that wrong. You left to protect me, to don't hurt me. That shows how much you love me. Don't be all so stubborn. This family loves you, and they will always do. Don't ignore that." And I kissed him again.

"Careful love. I don't want you to fall down."

I stacked out my tongue to him.

"If there's anything I can do…"

"Stay. Stay with me. Forever."

"I promise."

"Oh, and you have to go to pregnancy yoga with me."

"Why?"

"That happens a lot. And because you're it's Daddy," I told him, with a hand on my belly.

"May I…" he gestured towards my bump, shyly. Edward never was shy. But it was god damn adorable. He looked to my belly.

"Do you even have to ask? Of course," I said.

He hesitated. So I helped him a little by grabbing his hands and putting them on my huge stomach.

It felt good. I wanted to sing hallelujah at the top of my lungs. Edward hands on my belly. Gosh, I was in heaven.

I felt tears coming down, but I didn't care. Edward looked up, and I saw he had tears, too. We both smiled.

And then, we gasped.

"Did it just…kick?" He asked, surprised and bewildered.

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Does it do that a lot?"

"How closer I get to birth, the more he kicks."

"You and your boy theory."

"You and your girl theory."

"Hey, I just _hope_ on a girl. You're _convinced _that you get a boy. Have you peeked?"

"No, no, of course I haven't."

"So, then you don't know."

Smartass. "Leave it."

"It seems happy," Edward said.

"Of course you're happy. Daddy's here again."

**

* * *

**

So....what y'a say?

I will use the full song in the next chapter. So, that means Edward performing on a guitar for Bella only. :D.

My first version was quite different than my final version, but I like it nonetheless. I know I'm moving quite fast with this story, but if you want anything to be more explained or that I concentrate more on one thing, don't shy away to tell me. I'm partly doing this for you guys!

**By the by: Edward is twenty four, and Bella and Alice are twenty three. I know I've mentioned Edward and Bella are from the same age, but I think this works best. Edward is born in 1985, Bella and Alice in 1986.**

**And also, before I get more hate stuff about Edward: Yes, he has cheated on Bella, with three women. But I've never said how. That you know. Also know that this guy is utterly in love with Bella. He's just a guy who blames himself of everything and is stubborn as hell.**

**10 reviews, please.**


	11. Stranger than your Sympathy

**Like I promised, 10 reviews = update. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. So amazing. I appreciate it soo much.**

**Special thanks to _InLuvWithTheSupernatural,_ for your lovely words and your freakin' awesome song suggestions, and to my Beta _AlUvmusic_. Without her, this chapter wouldn't be like it is now. xxx**

**Your reviews had all one thing in common: Edward is stupid(understatement *cough* understatement) to have cheated on Bella, and Bella had forgiven him too soon. Yup, you're quit right in that. So, no, this chapter isn't all lovely, yet. But it will be soon. Once again: These two are addicted to the other. It's a very complicated relationship these two have. Their hearts are bound in a string, but their minds can disagree with their needs sometimes. That's why Bella took Edward in here arms so fast. She needed to. But more will be explained in this chapter. **

_**Once again, the title song:  
**Goo Goo Dolls - Sympathy_

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I just roll it through my crazy imagination and add some sparkles.**

* * *

You always see what you don't want to see.

That happened to me once again this morning. The day started good, though.

I felt the sun warming my face. But I also felt something else. Something cool around my waist and cheek. My eyes fluttered a few times, before I croaked them open. And the air stocked in my throat.

I was facing Edward. Edward was really here.

I'd dreamt that I had walked into Edward and Tanya making out. And now my personal miracle was facing me.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay? Are you hurt?" he rambled, panicking.

"I'm dreaming, right?"

He chuckled, but his eyes stayed dark. "I understand you see me as a nightmare, but no, you're not dreaming. I'm really here."

"Oh, Edward," I exclaimed, and threw my hands around his neck.

He chuckled -now it did reach his eyes- and took me in his arms, kissing my hair.

"So, what's up for today?"

"Uh, I don't know. What about you?"

"Your wish is my command."

"Edward, why did you come back?" I blurred out.

Surprised by my sudden change of subject, he gasped. "I came back, because…because Carlisle's confrontation broke my last brick."

* * *

Edward and I soon went downstairs to have breakfast. We sat down in the living room. Jasper was reading, Esme was sketching, Carlisle was calling with his brother John, Rosalie and Emmett were absorbed by Tristan, and Honor and Alice were watching some sort of fashion program on TV. I snuggled deeper in Edward's chest.

I had a strange feeling.

Yes, my heart was whole, my body felt alive again, but there was something wrong. Something I couldn't lay my finger on. And it annoyed the hell out of me. Edward was back again, right? Everything was okay, now. Except the fact that…

"…_And then now, the question everyone has bothered. Where on earth is Edward Anthony Cullen? Last week Edward has been spotted at several New York nightclubs, always surrounded by women. Tanya Denali, his costar in Remember Me, even declared the two were in a relationship. Although, neither he nor his rep has confirmed the fact, he was spotted with her over the night. But since two days, he hasn't been seen anymore. Where is he?" _Several videos and photos were shown, one where Edward had his head in a woman's neck…

Then my demon let had himself known. Cheater. Edward had cheated on me. I had no idea how – didn't want to think about it either. I felt nauseas, and wanted to make a run for the bathroom.

"Bella, what's going on?"

Okay, was I the only one who had seen it? I glanced around. Everyone was doing as if they hadn't seen the documentary. But I saw they all had gotten a little more paler than they used to be.

"Watch the screen, babe," I spat, and went straight to the bathroom, locked it and crushed on the floor.

Had I forgiven him too fast? Had I been blind?

Yes. Yes I had.

Yesterday I'd seen everything through pink glasses. I'd been too rational. He had fucking cheated on me. He loved me, right? He loved me fucking much. He had fought for me, protected me, and he could just leave?! That had to mean something right?

But I wasn't stupid. I needed Edward. So, when I couldn't take it anymore, I took hold of him yesterday. I wasn't going to let Edward go. But I realized my mind wasn't ready yet.

I hadn't faked it, but my mind just settled in right now.

Oh, I was so confused.

"Bella? Bella, love, are you okay?" Edward interrupted my thoughts by asking concerned through the door.

Shit. What did I have to do with Edward?

"Could…could you get Alice and Rosalie for me, please?"

"Sure."

Not even thirty seconds later, my besties knocked on the door. I moved to the door and unlocked it.

"Bella, sweetie, what's the matter?" Rosalie said, bending down. Alice locked the door again and kneeled beside me.

"I have forgiven him too fast, haven't I?" I sobbed.

Rosalie and Alice shared an uncomfortable glance.

"Bella, we cannot say when you have to forgive him. That's up to you. We can only say what we would have done if we were you. But we aren't. We are different than you. We know you, we know how much you love Edward, how much you need him, how much he completes you…But we also know what he has done to you this past week. Although we partly understand his reason for leaving you, we cannot accept his behavior. You know what I would have done if I were you…I would kick him and scream at him, and say he should fuck the hell up, but that's me. If Emmett would ever _dare _to do such a thing to me…God, I would kick his ass, but I would take him back eventually. I need that asshole too much, he owns my heart. I have no idea how he managed that, but from day one I knew that Emmett was were I belonged. I saw my brother(Jasper) change, thanks to Alice. She gave him strength, strength to live and enjoy his life. Although Alice knows Edward much better, I could see how Edward changed after meeting you. He talked more, did more with the entire family. He became more alive. I was hesitant at first, as you maybe had noticed. We were, and still are, a very private family. Our privacy is the only thing we've left, left for ourselves. Our lives have been turned upside down; we lived in the spotlight half of the time. I was afraid you would change our peaceful life here, but you didn't, thankfully. You only made our lives better…"

Jeez, you maybe wouldn't expect it, but man Rosalie could give some speeches up here. She had made me cry. Not that I blamed her, no absolutely not. Her words were just so beautiful.

I whipped away the tears that had reached my chin.

Alice and Rosalie both grabbed one of my hands.

"Bella, no matter what you do, what you decide, we will _always _be at your side. Always. You have to do what you think is best. Not what someone else thinks. Follow your heart, your intuition, your whatever you want…Don't worry about us, about Edward, because I know, I can secure you, that he will wait. He will wait for you. And that's what he damn deserves. Yes, I would love it if it's all happily and lovely again, but that's not okay, yet. Some things have to be sort out first. But not before you're ready, Bella," Alice told me.

"What do I have to do?" I whined, burying my head in my hands. "I mean, I ignored him, but then I clearly took him back. What do I have to do now? Ignore him again? That doesn't feel right."

"Bella, I think you need to tell him the truth. Tell him you over sped things up, that you aren't ready yet and that you need some time."

I weakly nodded.

"It will all be okay, Bell, it really will be," Rosalie soothed me, and kissed me on the forehead. "When you first see your little baby, everything turns black and white compared with it. Just think of that."

I smiled up to her. Rose and Alice helped me to get up and accompanied me out of the bathroom.

I should have expected it. Edward was leaning against the wall of the bathroom. "Are you okay?" His eyes were full of pain, concern and horror.

"Eh…Edward, Bella has something to say," Alice said to him. "Don't let her feel guilty."

She turned to me. "I will be in the living room."

"Em and I are gonna head to the gym," Rosalie said and hastily walked over to where her husband was.

"You ready, Rosie?!" Emmett boomed.

"Hell yes, Em!"

"Okay dokey, then, let's go. I'm gonna beat you, babe."

"We will see."

They both winked at us when they left off to the gym, arms around each other's waist.

"So, where do you wanted to talk about with me?"

I bit my lip.

"Bella," he said, sternly. He hated it when I kept something from him. And likewise.

"Edward, I'm sorry, but I'm not ready yet. I know it's not fair to you, and that I got your hopes up, and showed you something else. It wasn't a lie, it's just…I came to a conclusion this morning. I'm not ready yet. I can't…I can't forgive you for the fact you cheated on me," rage took over me. "How did you dare?! Sleeping with _three _other women?! While I was all alone, _pregnant_, of _you_?! Were you out of your mind?! Yes, kisses I can handle, but fucks?! I have the monopoly on you, and you just throw me, us away?!" The tears streamed down my face.

Edward took my face in his hands. "Bella, look at me. I've done stupid, terrible things. Things I regret with everything I have in me. Things I can, sadly, not turn back. But you have to know that I could _never, ever _cheat on you on such a way. When I kissed other women, I didn't think about it. But every night, I cried myself in sleep, missing you, our baby. I never fucked anyone else but you. Never. I swear."

"But you said…"

"I was interrupted before I could explain myself," he muttered, touching the place Honor had hit him.

"I'm still not ready, Edward," I whispered, looking to the ground. "I'm so sorry," I sobbed.

"Bella, don't be. I totally deserve it. Just take your time. But I will be here. Always."

But he couldn't lie to me. I could clearly hear the pain very present in his voice. He didn't look me in the eye.

Then he let go off my face, but grabbed my hand instead and leaded me to the music room.

When we were in, he let go off me and walked over to the shelves with many different sizes and kinds of guitars. Alice' pink electric guitar stood out, together with Rose' dark red bass.

Every member of the Cullen family was able to play some chords. Rose was a talented bass player, Jasper shone out in acoustic and country, Honor in rock and punk, and Edward in blues. Emmett was the drummer. Alice only played for fun, and Carlisle and Esme both used to play in their youth.

Edward had grabbed _his _guitar. If I may say so, he had the most beautiful of all.

Before I could say something, or do something, Edward stroke the opening chords of the song he gave me yesterday. _Sympathy _by _Goo Goo Dolls_.

_Stranger than your sympathy  
And this is my apology  
I killed myself from the inside out  
And all my fears have pushed you out_

Edward had his eyes closed, fully going into the music. Tears streamed down my cheeks again, and unable to stand any longer, I sat down on the big sofa.

_And I wished for things that I don't need  
(all I wanted)  
And what I chased won't set me free  
(all I wanted)  
And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees's _

_Oh, yeah  
Everything's all wrong, yeah  
Everything's all wrong, yeah  
Where the hell did I think I was?_

_And stranger than your sympathy  
Take these things, so I don't feel  
I'm killing myself from the inside out  
And now my head's been filled with doubt_

God, how much I loved this man. Yes, he had his faults, and he has made very wrong decisions, but he loves me. As I love him.

_We're taught to__ lead the life you choose  
(all I wanted)  
You know your love__'s run out on__ you  
(all I wanted)  
And you can__'t see when all your dreams aren't coming__ true_

_Oh yeah  
__It'__s easy to forget, yeah__  
When you choke on the regrets, yeah  
Who the hell did I think I was?_

_And stranger than your sympathy  
And all these thoughts you stole from me  
__And I'm not sure where I__ belong  
And no where__'s home and no more wrong_

_And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was  
__And I wouldn't be the one to kneel__ before the dreams I wanted  
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me_

_Mmm, yeah  
Stranger than your sympathy  
Stranger than your sympathy  
Mmm hmmm mmm_

"Edward…"

"Shhh, Isabella." He kissed the crown of my head, brought me outside and left off to the music room again.

I remained were I was, once again not able to move.

Jasper jogged in the hallway. "Ah man, don't go to say that stupid motherfucker of an Edward Cullen just walked into that heaven of a room, and locked it," he groaned, his southern accent clearly hearable.

I chuckled.

Jasper walked over to the door. "Edward, unlock this freaking door! It's not _your _room, it's _our _room. My sweet, beautiful little guitar is in there, and I'm dying to touch her. Now, open the door."

Nothing.

Jasper started to bang on the door. "Edward!"

Nothing.

"Jazzy, honey, what's the matter?" Alice came up from behind, taking him in her arms from behind.

"He won't open the door of the music room for me," Jasper pouted, turning his face towards Alice and demanding with his lips for a kiss.

She chuckled, but happily obliged. "Who, Jazz?"

"Edward, of course," he sighed.

Alice' smile vanished quickly. "Oh."

"Can you please talk to him, Al? He won't listen to me."

"I will give it a try," she sighed.

* * *

"I'm childish, aren't I?" Honor said. She had been on her way to her room, but had stopped by to have a little chat with me.

"No, Honor."

"Yes, I am. I'm pouting around here, feeling sad that my brother just ditched on me, while he actually left _you_. _You_ got all the shit."

"Honor, don't be. Edward is your big brother. I know how much he means to you."

"Yeah, sometimes it's even embarrassing. It's entirely different with Emmett. I think it's the difference of age. Em and I are two entire different persons, but on the other side we're also really related. I could always have a talk with Edward; I could always call him when he was filming. Once, I was watching an interview he was doing, and he said he had his phone on in case his littlest sister wanted to talk with him. I haven't been the easiest kid. I've made it my parents very hard…"

"Being an actress and model, and already so famous on such a young age isn't easy."

"I'm sorry Bella, I really am. For everything. I've always been a little jealous on you. One part of me was smitten by you. I was so thankful for the fact you lit up Edward, and that he wasn't alone anymore. You're perfect for him. I just knew it from day one. But the other part was jealous as hell. He spent more time with you, and less with me. It sounds really pathetic, for sure. But don't get me wrong, you're the best thing ever that came across this family, and I'm so happy with that. I don't know if I've ever offended you with my moods. Besides the fact I was jealous, I also was really struggling with adolescence, you know. Sorry, really, really sorry."

I hugged her, showing her that I didn't mind at all. I had felt like that – and still felt- whenever Edward signed autographs, made movies or whatever. I hated to share him.

"C'mon, I want to show you something." She walked to the room across Edward's. Her room.

I'd never really seen Honor's room, I thought when I followed her.

Her room was quite similar to Edward's, but then on the other side of the house. Her left wall was all covered by glass, instead of Edward's right. The other walls were painted in a dark gold, with a light golden bed and bright yellow covers. On the walls were a lot of pictures, photos and paintings. Mainly pop art and paintings of the many cities Honor had lived as a kid. New York City, London, Los Angeles, San Diego, Vancouver…

She turned around, and saw me inspecting the room.

"You like it?"

"Definitely. You did it yourself?"

"With my Mom's help of course. She's a genius, and knows exactly what's good and what not. Clearly passed it to Alice," she chuckled. "Art means a lot to me, to my family, as you maybe already have seen and noticed, you know," she rambled.

I nodded.

"But eh…how are you and Edward?" Honor asked, shyly. "If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay…"

"It's okay. I'm…I said I needed some time, you know."

She nodded. "Oh, I needed to show you something." She walked off to her walk-in closet and I heard her spitting through things. "Jeez, where is it?" A minute later she came out of it, and she walked over to her book/movie/CD case. She had finally found what she had been looking for and walked back to me. It looked like a photo album and it had a dark golden-brown cover.

"What is it?"

"It's a scrapbook. It's…eh…from Edward. While he was in London, you know, he used to write in this, he also put in flyers and songs…When he came back again, he wanted to throw it away, but I saved it from the trash. I asked if he was okay if I would keep it, and he just shrugged his shoulders, like whatever. But I've never read it. By the by, if I would have, I would have been an invader."

"Why?"

"It's not for me," she shrugged, matter of fact.

"For who is it then?"

She pulled up her eyebrows, so much alike her older brother. It was a real Cullen trick, by the way. They all did it on exactly the same way.

No, that couldn't be true, right? It couldn't be for me. "For me?"

"Bella, he's alive because of you. I know it sounds melodramatic as freaking hell, but it's true. I'm not saying you have to forgive him, right now, right here, but I just wanted to give it you, since it belongs to you. I know that Edward didn't give it you, but still he wrote this for you. Just do what you want with it." Honor handed over the scrapbook to me.

"Thanks."

She smiled. "You're welcome."

I opened it. On the first page was written in his beautiful writing

_**For Bella,  
the beautiful one, my love and my life.  
**__**I miss you and I crave the moment I will see you again.  
Never have I felt like this before for anyone or anything,  
but it feels good and I love it.  
I love you, Isabella Swan. And I always will.  
From Edward,  
London**__**, September 2003-March 2004.**_

The first few pages included his first journals and handwritten lyrics.

He used to write own songs, still does sometimes. That were the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. You could hear how much he'd put his soul in them…It sounds cliché and cheesy, but Edward Cullen is my favorite musician, and not just because that man owns me since I was a seventeen year old.

It turned out I'd love his music much earlier than I met him, but it wasn't under his birth name. I knew him under the name of _Jack Chicago_. I'd always found it a weird name, but it had a nice ring, if I may say so. I had come across it coincidentally, read in an indie music magazine my mom always brought us. I got curious and looked him up on YouTube.

I loved it immediately.

That brought back the memory when Maya told me I'd a crush on one of Hollywood's Hottest actors under 20.

**_{Flashback}_**

"_Jeez, Bells, what's up with _you_? You have like this shit eating grin on your face."_

"_Oh, shut up, Maya."_

"_Oeh, you've met someone, don't you? You're in love?"_

_Charlie was busy with some kind of case, so he had let us alone for the night, knowing we would be perfectly capable of looking after ourselves._

"_I'm not going to discuss that with you."_

"_Why not?!" she whined._

"_Because it's none of your business."_

"_Well, if that guy dates you, and maybe will become my brother-in-law, than yes, it's my business!"_

"_Maya stop it." Yes, I had a big crush for someone, for the most beautiful guy of my school. Also the most distant. He hardly spoke with anyone, with the exception of his family. They all looked too good to be true. My crush annoyed __me; I didn't want to be in love, and definitely not with the hottest and coldest guy in my high school. But I couldn't do anything about it, sadly._

"_Bella, spill it."_

"_Okay, but don't tell Dad, 'kay? He will probably over-react." I really wanted to let my pained thoughts and feelings free. And why not now? There was someone ready to listen. Being my little sister be damned. Maya would never leak secrets._

"_I promise," she said, seriously._

"_He's a senior, but he's in my Biology class, and his sister has his locker not that far away from me."_

"_How do you know it's his sister?"_

_Because I'm fucking obsessed with him. "She's in my Spanish class, and so I heard they have the same surname. And they hang out together."_

"_Looks?"_

"_I can't even describe them. They're looking utterly beautiful, model like. His hair, bronze, is so breath taking and you want to touch it. And his green piercing eyes…"_

_Maya gasped. "Are you going to tell me you crushed on Edward freaking Cullen?"_

"_Eh…yeah. Hey, how do you know his name?"_

"_Well, 1. because he's like America's next promise in Hollywood. Don't you watch movies? He was even in _Charmed_. -Maya was obsessed with _Charmed_. Thanks to her, I knew all about it. Without even having watched not more than 10 episodes-. 2. because his youngest sister is my new best friend and 3. I just know it."_

_No, no, this couldn't be true. Why? Why did I have to crush on a freaking Hollywood star?_

_I hadn't really noticed that Maya had run upstairs till I heard her coming off the stairs. She dumped a magazine in front of me. _TeenVogue. _Maya had had a subscription since she was 12. Every Christmas her subscription got refreshed. There he was, on the cover._ **Edward Cullen, meet Hollywood's Golden boy and his family**,_read the headline._ _I blinked._

_Maya pulled the magazine from under my nose, and flipped through the magazine. When she had found what she had been looking for, she shoved it back to me. _

_Some more photos of him, but also some of him surrounded by other people. When I looked better, I recognized the two boys and girls he was surrounded by at school. _

"_That's Honor, Honor Rose," Maya pointed to a clearly younger girl, spotting the same bronze hair color as Edward. _

"_That's Emmett, a baseball player and model, Rosalie, model and Emmett's girlfriend, Jasper, model, Alice, fashion designer and Jasper's girlfriend, and well you know him," she smirked. _

"_And that are their parents, Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle works in the hospital here. Esme is a decorator."_

_I couldn't bring out a word._

"_Alice has her own fashion line. We even own some of her clothes, you know," Maya rambled on._

_My breath came out in quick gasps, and my sight became blurry._

"_Bella, Bell, are you okay?"_

"_Why me? Why I have to crush on a fucking Hollywood actor?!"_

_Maya clearly didn't know what to do with me. "Bella, relax. He's got that thing for you, too, you know."_

"_Ah, don't make it any worse, Maya."_

"_No, I mean it. I have my source, remember?" she said, pulling up her eyebrow._

_I looked at her questionably._

"_His younger sister is in my class. She's my best new friend. Honor Rose, the girl with the bronze hair," she declared, pointing to the bronze hair girl on one of the photos._

**_{End of Flashback}_**

"So…eh…I will go downstairs," Honor told me.

I vaguely nodded.

* * *

**Soooo.....what do you say?**

**Since the next chapter is chapter 12: 12 reviews minimum. I know you can, I get more than 1,000 hits each chapter. Which I'm very grateful for. By the by, what's the difference between hits and visitors?**

**I've asked myself this very often: Why it's always said that Rosalie has blue eyes? I, myself, always imagine her with dark eyes, thanks to brown-eyed Nikki Reed. Anyone knows why?**


	12. Monster

**Everytime I am amazed by how many hits this story gets. And I'm utterly grateful for your amazing reviews. I've gotten 11 reviews for this chapter, but 13 after I posted chapter 11, so it's time for a new one. Sorry for the long waiting. **

**This one's in Edward's POV. Now you can read through _his _eyes. Warning: I used _many _songs in this chapter, that you know. I hope it's not that confusing.**

**Happy Birthday Jackson Rathbone! You're super duper hilarious and awesome, and you play Jasper magnificently. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I own my crazy imagination and the shit eating grin whenever I see a Volvo or Mini Cooper.**

**Do you have snow, too? Here with me, everything is white. Made a snow doll yesterday. **

**Thanks to _HungryPie _and _insomniac4life96_ for answering my questions.**

**The answers to _your_ questions:  
* The Oscars were on March 7. A week later Edward left. It's now a little more than a week after that. So, it's around March 21. Bella is due in ± 2 weeks. At least that's how I'd planned it. The date of birth I had in mind turned out to be 36 weeks after Bella got pregnant. That's maybe a little too early, but well...I'm not going to change it.  
* More pregnancy stuff while come in the next chapter. It will include a visit to the doctor (No, not Carlisle)  
* I'm not going to spill whether it's a boy or a girl, but I can say that I already have a name. More about that after the birth.  
* The chapter of birth will be in two/three chapters, I think. But maybe in the next, I don't know yet.**

**Many hugs and thanks to my Beta, _ilovemusic123 (_previous: _AlUvmusic) _She's not really well, but she still took the time to Beta my chapter. Thanks! Get better soon, hon!**

**That was it I think. The play list of this chapter will be at the bottom.**

**Oh, and this chapter is split in many short parts. That means it doesn't take place directly after each other. Mostly, it's a few hours or minutes. I hope it's not that confusing. **

_Swore to never leave you  
To never let you out of my hands  
Nothing here could ever change this  
A promise till the living end  
I never meant to be a liar  
The shame is cutting into my skin  
I'd rather die on my feet  
Than live here on my knees again  
I swore I'd never stray from you  
__**~ The Exies – Stray ~**_

_And I'm coming home  
I'm coming home  
To make it all right  
so dry your eyes  
We think the same things at the same time  
We just can't do anything about it  
__**~ Thom Yorke – Harrowdown Hill ~ **_

* * *

_I'm staring out into the night,  
__Trying to hide the pain.  
__I'm going to the place where love  
__And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.  
__And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain._

_I'm going home,  
__Back to the place where I belong,  
__And where your love has always been enough for me.  
__I'm not running from.  
__No, I think you got me all wrong.  
__I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
__But these places and these faces are getting old  
__So I'm going home.  
__Well I'm going home._

_The miles are getting longer, it seems,  
__The closer I get to you.  
__I've not always been the best man or friend for you.  
__But your love, remains true.  
__And I don't know why.  
__You always seem to give me another try._

_So I'm going home,  
__Back to the place where I belong,  
__And where your love has always been enough for me.  
__I'm not running from.  
__No, I think you got me all wrong.  
__I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
__But these places and these faces are getting old._

_Be careful what you wish for,  
__'Cause you just might get it all.  
__You just might get it all,  
__And then some you don't want.  
__Be careful what you wish for,  
__'Cause you just might get it all.  
__You just might get it all, yeah._

_Oh, well I'm going home,  
__Back to the place where I belong,  
__And where your love has always been enough for me.  
__I'm not running from.  
__No, I think you got me all wrong.  
__I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
__But these places and these faces are getting old.  
__I said these places and these faces are getting old.  
__So I'm going home._

_I'm going home._

Totally agreeing with you Chris. I was going home. To the place where I belong. I couldn't sit still. And why on fucking earth weren't we in the air, yet?! Jeez, get up the fucking plane. Now!

My father must have seen how nervous I was. "Edward, calm down."

We sat in first class, and on my way to the plane I had to sign autographs and took photos.

That people could still recognize me…

Even I was of the opinion I looked bad. Really bad. And that says something, because I never give a shit about my look. I was never the guy who cared about his image.

No, honestly. My hair has always been a complete mess- nothing worked. I've never really understood the hype about clothing. I just pull something out of my closet every day. Some clothes I've worn so much – by example a Jeff Buckley shirt, some basic shirts, several jeans- that there had appeared holes in them. I didn't care.

Of course, with Alice Cullen as your sister – and Robin Cullen as an aunt, who's a stylist - I knew something about fashion, I knew designer labels, fashion designers themselves. I knew how to look presentable.

But my dream outfit wasn't anything special, no expensive or designer things. No, my favorite/dream outfit was an old, worn off pair of jeans, a vintage shirt, leather jacket or hoodie, and worn off slip-ons Vans or Converse sneakers. Finished by a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarers –although any Ray-Ban would do it for me. I never really used the I-am-a-celeb-so-I-can-get-free-stuff card, but if that meant it brought me free Ray-Bans or sneakers, then hell yes!

Finally the plane started to move. Home, here I come.

I soon felt asleep, with _dazed and confused,_ from the awesome Led Zeppelin, flowing through my ears.

* * *

"Yeah, Edward is okay, I think. He's asleep now," was the first thing I heard when I woke up. I decided it would be smart to pretend I still was asleep.

"How's everyone up there?"

"Yeah, we're in the air now….An hour, or so."

"No, Al had a flu….Yeah, I thought the same, but I don't want to get their hopes up."

"How's Bella?"

I gasped by hearing her name. Good move, Edward. Now I couldn't pretend I was asleep anymore.

Carlisle's eyes shot to me, noticing that I was awake now. He nodded and mouthed "Slept good?"

I nodded back. "Tell me what Esme says about Bella," I whispered, pointing to Carlisle's BlackBerry.

He nodded. "Edward is awake now…No, I can understand that. But how is she?" His face didn't give anything away. Carlisle said Esme goodbye, telling she would see us soon. He stuffed his phone away.

"And?"

"You have to do a lot when we come home," was the only thing he said.

Thanks so much Dad.

I put on my iPod again. And went to my 'When-I-feel-like-shit-and-want-to-feel-even-shittier' play list. Shuffle. It opened with the Exies- _Stray_ immediately. This song was absolutely in the right play list. I felt like shit. Even shittier than shit.

* * *

When we arrived in town, my father had to tank first.

I had the feeling _everyone _was looking at me.

Yeah, people were staring at me non-stop, but this was different. Weird. Unusual.

Carlisle also had to stop by the hospital, to check up.

It was when we drove past the supermarket and local pubs. I'd looked out of the window the entire road, not really seeing what was outside. I glanced to one of the pubs, _the Forest Cat, _when I saw her.

Bella.

She looked like a ghost. Her face had grown thinner. _Everything _on her had grown thinner, while her stomach had grown. Even if it had been just a week, I clearly could see a difference.

If I thought Bella was beautiful, then there were no words for _pregnant _Bella. Even now, when she looked unhealthy…She had this sparkle in her eyes, a gleam…Pregnancy suited her. And I was proud that it was _my _child she was pregnant with.

* * *

My life has turned into a hell.

And the one who I'd to fucking blame was no-one else than my-fucking-self. I'd fucking left Bella. My love, my life.

Isabella Swan.

The most bravest, strongest young woman I'd ever met. So full of thrust and honesty. And I fucking hurt her.

A part of me was glad when she told me she needed some more time.

"That's what you fucking deserve motherfucking (no offense to my mom) asshole."

The other, much bigger but more silent part, was pained. I knew she loved me, utterly and unconsciously loved me, and had forgiven me even before I was to be forgiven. Why she needed time, then?

Because I hurt her, her baby, and whoa….if that wasn't even enough, I'd also humiliated her and she had felt as if I'd abdomen her.

Most of all, when you dared to touch or hurt someone Bella loved, you were dead. With our baby, it was only worse. She didn't only love it, she adored, admired, craved it.

And I fucking left it.

Jeez, how bad can you be?

* * *

You probably wonder why on earth I left, why I left my pregnant fiancée and family. For what? Getting drunk every night and making out with women I barely knew? Yeah, I can understand if you want to throw an entire fuck-bastard-asshole-charade over me.

Go ahead, I totally deserve it.

So, now to answer your question: I left because I saw how much Bella was hurt. She was dead scared of all the paparazzi. She loves her peaceful life. I left to protect her against that. If I would leave, she didn't have to face all these cameras, paparazzi, and fans. Yes, fans are great, really. But if you're not used to it, it can be fucking intimidating. And well, as an outsider – have to watch to your love getting hugged and all by _strangers _…not cool.

I wanted Bella to have no worries, to enjoy her life without being scared for someone jumping in her sight with a flashy camera.

It's the worst decision I've ever made. But at that time it seemed as the best and only solution I could think of.

My family and friends always have said I'm this brooding, dark, romantic, silent, lonely gentleman.

It's not just coincidence I share my first name with Mr Rochester. I'm called Edward because of him. I'm called after Mr Edward Fairfax Rochester of Jane Eyre. My mom and dad said I had these look in my eyes, this frown on my forehead, which reminded them of Mr Rochester immediately. Plus the fact my mom had a big crush for the man.

They're right, tough. I'm really in my head, and I often make decisions on my own. Bella helped me to share my thoughts. I'm very thankful for what she did. Still does, to me.

* * *

People screw up all the time. People make wrong decisions every day.

Why if I had to screw up, was it a master disaster? Why did I always do it even more wrong than super duper wrong? – Super duper was a word Honor had come up with. She had used it so much, that I used it sometimes, too. Like now. My sister has the most extraordinary vocabulary I've ever heard. And she's twenty. Twenty. Wow-

Why?

Now, when I felt alone – my love needing her time, my family mad at me, my friends far away (probably drunk in Eleazar's recording studio in Soho, London) – I needed a dog. A dog, who would just nestle itself against your side, be silent, wouldn't judge, and just _be _there for you. I wasn't really a cat person – don't say that to Alice, she owns two, and they're her life, after Jasper-. I'd had an own dog, Clover, for years. But sadly she died when I was fourteen.

My fault. I hadn't paid attention, and she got caught by a car.

We really have something with car accidents. Esme's cousin had been caught by a truck when he was twenty, Honor's best friend, my dog, Jasper and Rosalie's biological grandfather…

* * *

In the gym, with my ear phones of my iPod as hard as I could bear, I ran all my frustrations away. Here I could be away of the misery I had created myself.

I had turned my iPod on shuffle, and just ran on. Until I heard the beginning melody of _Sing for Absolution_ by _Muse_. I loved the band, and had gone to many concerts. They had a unique sound, you hardly heard it somewhere else. I owned all their CD's. Although their most recent album, _the Resistance,_ wasn't bad – the song _I Belong to You_ reminded me of myself, and how I belonged to Bella- my favorite album was _Absolution, _where Sing for Absolution was a part of.

In this situation, I could find myself extremely well with the lyrics.

_Lips are turning blue  
A kiss that can't renew  
I only dream of you  
My beautiful_

_Tip toe to your room  
A starlight in the gloom  
I only dream of you  
And you never knew_

The memory of me sneaking in Bella's room so often sprang in front of my eye lids. I'd done it these past days as well. I just had to make sure Bella was okay, our baby was okay. She still talked in her sleep.

_Sing for absolution  
I will be singing  
And falling from your grace  
ooh_

_There's nowhere left to hide  
In no one to confide  
The truth burns deep inside  
And will never die_

_Lips are turning blue  
A kiss that can't renew  
I only dream of you  
My beautiful_

_Sing for absolution  
I will be singing  
Falling from your grace_

_Sing for absolution  
I will be singing  
Falling from your grace_

_yeah_

_Our wrongs remain unrectified  
And our souls won't be exhumed_

I hummed along with the entire song. When it had finished, I stopped running. It was as if the song gave me a message. I couldn't turn back the past. What happened, happened.

Nobody could do anything about that.

I stepped off the runner, took my towel, and went for the closest shower. Esme had designed a special thing where you could put your iPod in, and so you could still listen to it in the shower, and it wouldn't get wet.

The songs really knew to find me today:

_The stars lean down to kiss you  
And I lie awake and miss you  
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere_

_'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly  
But I'll miss your arms around me  
I'd send a postcard to you, dear  
'Cause I wish you were here_

_I'll watch the night turn light-blue  
But it's not the same without you  
Because it takes two to whisper quietly_

_The silence isn't so bad  
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad  
'Cause the spaces between my fingers  
Are right where yours fit perfectly_

_I'll find repose in new ways  
Though I haven't slept in two days  
'Cause cold nostalgia  
Chills me to the bone_

_But drenched in vanilla twilight  
I'll sit on the front porch all night  
Waist-deep in thought because  
When I think of you I don't feel so alone_

_I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone_

_As many times as I blink  
I'll think of you tonight  
I'll think of you tonight_

_When violet eyes get brighter  
And heavy wings grow lighter  
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again_

_And I'll forget the world that I knew  
But I swear I won't forget you  
Oh, if my voice could reach  
Back through the past  
I'd whisper in your ear  
Oh darling, I wish you were here_

Owl City was one of Honor's favorite musicians, and she was drooling all over the singer, Adam Young. She had even dragged me to one of his concerts, a few years ago, when he had just begun. Yes, his music was good and deserved being on my iPod, but being at his concert with your little sister who has it big for him is just…embarrassing.

* * *

I was on my room right now. And it was filled with Bella's delicious and heavenly scent. They should make a franchise of it. So it would be bottled up, and I could smell it whenever I wanted.

I hadn't been here for such a long time.

And I realized I'd missed it. My own place, which had become Bella and mine after we'd moved out. She hardly slept over at Charlie's, since he wasn't much around.

Somehow, my entire family had left the house this day, except for my mother, who was working at home.

Like they were avoiding me.

Alice and Rosalie were out with Bella, to Port Angeles I believe. They had taken Tristan with them. Emmett and Jasper were doing guys stuff. Without me.

The only one with a good alibi was my father. Carlisle was working double shifts, so he would have more spare time later.

* * *

I was just getting a soda from the fridge in the kitchen, when the phone rang.

"Hello?" We never mentioned our name, in case it was a sick paparazzi or media droolers.

"Oh hey, with Aliana Brookman. I'm a client of Esme Platt (my mom used her maiden name in her business, which she had called _Runaways Me, _after her favorite band in her teens. She had even dyed her hair Joan Jett black. Her model agency wasn't so happy with that, but photographers were)…I called to discuss things with her."

"Oh yeah sure. She didn't give you her cell phone number?"

"No. We haven't really met actually. A friend recommended her to me, and gave me this number."

"Right. I will call for her. A moment, please."

"Sure, thank you."

I put the phone on hold, and walked over to my mom's office. "Mom," I said, while knocking on the door.

Silence.

"Mom?" I opened the door. The office was empty. It was painted in a faint white, with golden, black, dark blue and silver ornaments – which were the favorite colors of her four children, mine was black - The walls, cupboards, and her task were covered by picture frames.

I'd never looked really well to the photos.

I decided to take a tour around my mother's office. How pathetic.

"Uhm…Aliana, is it, right?"

"Yes."

"Is it okay if you can call back later? Thirty minutes?"

"Okay, no, no problem."

The first few pictures were of her childhood. Mom grew up in a small town in Indiana, being the second of three daughters. Nana Platt lived on a farm not that far away. Her name was Annie Rose – both of my sisters are partly named after her. Esme first wanted to call Alice Annie, but chose for Alice eventually. Honor Rose got the second part of her name directly from grand nana Platt, as Alice called Annie Rose - Others contained pictures of photo shoots, premieres, award shows, events, and more modeling shit.

In the biggest frame was a picture of my mom and dad, newly engaged. They were beautiful.

Then came pictures of us. Which were quite embarrassing actually.

Emmett and I playing in the backyard, not caring at all how we looked like. Emmett and me with just born Alice, the three of us with baby Honor Rose. Lots and lots of family portraits.

We didn't wear suits, ties or floral summer dresses on family portraits. We had gone for worn off jeans and sneakers –preferring the gods called Converse, although Emmett swore by Nike and my mom by Vans. The Cullen family was sneaker addicted, even Alice – suited with vintage band shirts.

My favorite was one of Bella and I. I was kissing Bella's forehead and she tugged on my shirt.

Mom was an amazing photographer, she was a genius. And the best mom ever. I was really gifted with such a loving, caring family. And I fucking hurt them.

I growled, but then the phone rang again.

"Edward," I breathed in the phone.

"Eh hey, it's Aliana Brookman again…"

"Yup, I will get my mom."

I hastily walked up the stairs. If mom wasn't in her office, she had to be in Carlisle and her bedroom.

"Mom? Mom?! Phone, a client!" I opened the door.

And saw my mom sitting on the edge of the king-size bed, watching the flat screen in front of her. I heard her sniffle.

"Mom? Mom, are you okay?" Panic took hold of me.

She turned around and smiled to me. "Hey sweetie, yes I'm okay. I was just watching old home videos. I'm so gifted with four, six amazing children," she said, whipping away the tears.

"Yeah," I muttered, not totally agreeing. "There is an Aliana Brookman for you. She called half an hour ago, but I asked her to call us back. It would be rude to let her wait again…"

"Such a gentleman," she smiled. "Hold on, I will take this. Stay here, I will come back in a minute. We're going to have some decent mother-son time. I will make you tea."

We were obsessed with tea. Call it girly or whatever, but hey we're half British. Loving tea is in our blood. Em, Alice, Honor and I always used to steal tea bags from hotels and restaurants. Strangely, Jasper and Rosalie weren't really fond of tea. They were more Coke and coffee people. Americans, huh?

"So….I've brought some tea and muffins with me. Hon and I made them yesterday," Esme said while she walked back in with a trunk.

"Thanks."

She took her side of the bed. "Edward, honey, are you okay? I know you've been through a lot, and maybe you have the idea that you're not loved or wanted, but I love you so much Edward. I can remember that day as if it were just yesterday. It was a sunny morning, a little bit cold for the time of the year…"

"Mom, are we're going to talk about my birth again?"

"Edward, a birth is one of the most amazing things in a life. You will realize it soon enough. But however…Emmett was staying over at Cassidy and Lion (our neighbors in Chicago), and Carlisle was all panicked. It seemed you weren't doing well, but you surprised us all by plopping out suddenly…"

I scowled.

"Edward, I'm proud of you. I'm not saying this because I want you to feel good, but because it's the truth. You've handled everything so well. The adoption of Rose and Jazz, Honor's struggles, your stardom, Alice' establishment, the paparazzi and media, obsessive fans…You're the most strongest person, mentally, I've ever known. Yes, you have made a big, wrong decision. But you and I know that it will come okay, soon. But don't let her down again. I won't neglect it that you've hurt us, too. And I want to ask you to apologize to all of your siblings. They all suffered so much. Not only Honor. She was just the most outspoken one…"

We had both tears in our eyes.

"I promise mom."

Mom kissed my cheek. "So, let's watch some ol' home videos," she said, grabbing the remote, and handing me a cup of tea – _my _cup of tea. We all had a cup with the baseball team of our city of birth. Me being born in Chicago, meant I owned a cup of the Chicago White Sox, a.k.a. the Sox - and a muffin.

The video showed a boy and a girl, who I soon recognized as myself and Alice.

"_No Edward, you don't do it good. Watch out, you will hurt Teddy," Alice whined__. We were examining Alice's teddy bear._

"_Sh Alice, you are distracting me."_

_Alice huffed. "Edward, I can't see!"_

_But I ignored her._

"_Daddy! Daddy! Could you be my patient?! Please," Alice cried, walking out of view and soon returning with Carlisle._

"_You have to sit right here. Don't watch in the camera, then you'll ruin the tape. Okay, sit still."_

The tape ended here.

"Alice," we said in unison, looking to each other.

"When was this seriously?"

"I think you were six and seven."

We rolled our eyes.

Our beloved summers in Italy where shown, diving into the cold and relaxing pool at the Volturi house.

Behind the scenes and on set material. Award shows and back stage. Literally everything was filmed by one of us.

Mountains topped with snow and ski slopes were shown. Colorado.

"That was so much fun," Esme whispered, patting my arm.

"Yup," I chuckled.

Four teens came down off one of the slopes, wearing hyper modern ski suits. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and I.

We all used to do snowboarding, including mom and dad. That was more adventurous.

We stopped just a few inches in front of the camera, and Emmett grabbed some snow off the ground and threw it right onto the screen.

"_Emmett, fuck up!" my Dad swore._

"_Ho, ho, Carlisle, watch your language." _

Carlisle hastily cleaned the image, and now Alice, Honor and Esme had come into view as well.

Alice had flung herself on Jasper, and they had fallen on the ground.

Emmett removed his board, walked over to Rosalie, and kneeled down to remove hers, too.

When Emmett stood up again, Rosalie thanked him with a deep and passionate kiss.

"_Ah, no, not again. Guys, we have to watch to this often enough," Jasper whined._

Mom and I chuckled.

It was five pm, and we still were the only one at home.

The room was suddenly filled with _Lovers_. It was a cover of _the Runaways_, but performed by the six of us. Emmett on drums, Alice lead vocals, Rose on the bass guitar and vocals, Jasper did the rhytm guitar, I did the lead guitar, and Honor the keyboard and vocals. It was awkward to hear yourself back like this. It had been recorded more than seven years ago. But when you heard that song it meant: Carlisle calling Esme.

My mom's face immediately lid up.

"Esme _Cullen_." My dad loved it when Esme proposed herself as Cullen. Had to sound possessive or something. Right. But well, I had to admit I found it fucking sexy to think of Bella as Bella Cullen.

Bella.

God, how fucking much I missed her.

"Okay, honey."

"No, I will start with making dinner in a minute."

"Yes, Edward is here with me."

She nodded. "Have you heard anything of the boys, and girls?"

"Both will be home for dinner?"

"Okay, love you too sweetheart. Bye," she said, and gave Carlisle a kiss through her cell.

She turned to me again. "So, do you want to help your mother with making dinner?" Esme said, while pulling up her eyebrows. Something we all had inherited.

"Sure, why not. Not that I'm the best cook or something."

"Don't say that baby. You are _amazing_. Especially if you are compared with Emmett. He loves food, but making it himself, no way!" she opened the door and together we walked down the flight of stairs.

Mom was stirring in the tomato sauce and I was cutting vegetables, when she stopped.

"Edward, you know Bella will come home in a few hours. And we know you two cannot avoid each other forever." She saw I wanted to interrupt her. "Yes, I know what she said Edward, but you know, you're a Cullen. And Cullens do everything on their own way."

With that my Mom ended her lecture. I still had no idea what to do.

Yes, I wanted to talk to her.

And yes, I wanted to respect her wish for having time.

But I knew what _I _wanted, what _I _needed. And I knew that Bella needed it, too.

Us. We needed us. Nothing else.

And suddenly I got a brilliant idea.

But I needed some help, though.

From a person named Alice Cullen.

Soon, everyone arrived home.

"Oh, you're making dinner! How delicious. And look at you, Edward. Cooking!" Alice greeted, the last sentence drenched with sarcasm.

"Thanks Alice," I huffed, keeping my eyes on the plate.

"Hello, too, Edward. Nice to see you again," she responded sarcastically.

Well, who spend the entire day away from the house, to not meet me?

I felt a body coming closer to me. The electric vibe I felt tinkling between me and the other body was very familiar to me, and I hadn't felt this for too long. Bella.

"Hey," she softly whispered.

I breathed in and out. "Hi. How was your day?"

"Exhausting. But it was fun."

"You okay?"

"Yep. Tired, but okay."

"And how is our baby?" Still not looking up. I noticed it was scarily quiet in the kitchen. They must have let us alone.

Bella gasped. My question must have taken her off guard. "It's…it's okay, too."

"That's great."

"Edward, why don't you look at me?" she asked, clearly hurt.

"Because I know that when I will look at you, look in your beautiful chocolate brown eyes, see your angelic face, I cannot stop myself from breaking my promise to you. I don't want to hurt you again." My voice had turned into a whisper, as well.

"Edward, I want you to look at me," she muttered, sobs filling her voice, which sounded full of self-conscious and determination.

I looked up, but not to her. I stared out of the window, and embarrassingly I felt tears coming down my cheeks.

"I can't do this anymore Bella. I know what I have done to you. To you, to our baby, to my family, who you love so much as well…But I need you. I know I don't deserve you, and that I deserve to be punished. But I'd rather be beaten up, than that I had to see you every day, but that I couldn't touch you, couldn't have a talk with you. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, because I don't deserve it. Of course, I want you to forgive me, but like I said, don't." I cleared my throat.

After a silence and I knew for sure Bella wasn't planning to speak, I went on.

"I don't give a damn shit about the opinions of my family. Yours is the only one that matters to me. I would do everything for you, for our little miracle inside of you. I've been a bad father to it, and that's why I'm going to pregnancy yoga with you tomorrow morning, and I will go to the doctor's appointment with you. I remember we scheduled an appointment for tomorrow months ago…" I said to explain her how I knew we had a meeting with the doctor tomorrow. Another echo. "After that we could go to a café and have a talk, or something. Unless you don't want that…but I need us again, Bella. And I can't say sorry enough times to you…I know my behavior is unforgivable and unexplainable. I was just a fucking jerk and asshole. I fucking hurt you, damaged your thrust…But I love you. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. I need you to live, to breathe and to be. You are my life Isabella. I cannot hurt you without hurting myself…."

I was out of words.

"Edward…you still aren't looking at me."

I shook my head, saying I couldn't do it.

But Bella wasn't satisfied with that. I felt her hand cupping my cheek and turning my face towards her.

There she was. My personal angel.

Her face was red of tears, but for the rest she looked so secure, so self conscious. It was sexy as hell. Her hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail, she was wearing comfy pants, worn off Vans…but the upper part of her body was what took my breath away.

She was wearing a grey large t-shirt, which said _"Be warned: Edward Cullen watches over me. He's my guardian angel"_, plus she was wearing one of my plaid blouses.

"Bella…" I tried to turn my head away again.

She sighed, and let go of my face.

Shit I'd hurt her again. Not on purpose, but still…

Bella had already set off to the living room probably.

I ran after her. "Bella, please, don't…"

She hastily turned around. "Don't what, Edward?" she shrieked, tears streaming down her face again. "Don't walk away? You can walk away anytime you want, but me? No way. You know how it felt when I woke up in an empty bed, empty suite? I knew something was wrong immediately. You just walked out off our life. I know you still loved me, but leaving me was the worst ever happened to me. It was much worse than the paparazzi. They can't hurt me as bad as you can! Every morning that I woke up, I had to remind myself of the reason I was going on with this, with living. I had to be there for this little, beautiful and perfect baby inside of me," she cried, pointing at her stomach. "I hadn't had much struggle with the pregnancy before it, I even enjoyed it, but after you left me…I just snapped. I wanted it to be out of me, so I could find you and slap you. I…I"

And I couldn't hold myself back anymore. Rules and promises be damned.

I took her face in my hands and fiercely kissed her. My tongue impatiently asking for entrance. Surprisingly, she opened her mouth for me, and stuck her tongue out, strongly battling mine.

Bella threw her arms around my neck, one hand grabbing a hand full with my hair.

And as always, we were disturbed once again. But well, what do you want with seven more people living in the house, who always had this kind of sense what was happening.

"O-kay," Honor breathed out.

"Seems Bella broke down." Emmett commented. "This one's for me, Jazzy-paz."

"Shit damn it," Jasper swore.

"And I thought you always won. Didn't you have a psycho as wife?"

"Shut up, Em. One: I'm not a psycho, two: I'm not his wife!"

"Ho ho ho sis. If anybody of us is a psycho it's you. You were like a weather predictor, and you always knew how to win a lottery. And didn't I hear you calling Jasper your husband? I know you two aren't married, not officially at least – unless you two have to tell us something, which would be pretty unfair, because you Alice, always throws a fit whenever someone marries secretly- but who cares?"

I didn't care about Emmett, Alice, Jasper, or anyone else in the hallway. I only cared for Bella.

My life.

She looked up to me. "Don't _ever_ leave me again."

I wouldn't even think of it. "I won't. I promise."

She nodded.

Then, half out of the blue, Alice was next to us. She was all light up and beaming. She clapped in her hands. "Ah, you two are okay, again. How a-we-some!" She gave us both a hug. Then she ran off to Jasper again. "They're together again, Jazz. Isn't that amazing?"

And she jumped in his arms.

Jasper chuckled. "Yes it is, Al." He was the only one with her permission to shorten her name.

We all still called her Al or Allie, but all behind her back. Actually, only Esme and Carlisle, and Honor sometimes as well, used to shorten Alice name.

When Jasper headed to the stairs – to probably do things with my sister I don't want to think about- I saw Esme and Carlisle sharing a glance. _Yeah, I thought the same, but I don't want to get their hopes up. _What the shiz was going on?

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Eh, Jasper and Alice, could Esme and I talk with you for a second?"

Jasper frowned. "Sure."

"What the fuck," Emmett mouthed to Jasper.

"I don't know," Jasper answered.

Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Have fun," she squealed to Bella, and gave her a wink.

"Alice," Bella muttered, rolling her eyes. A blush had appeared on her cheeks.

Without thinking, I leaned down, and kissed her left cheek. I could feel the warmth under my lips increasing even more.

Bella yawned.

"Ah, Edward, watch your woman here! She's tired as hell," Rosalie exclaimed.

"Yeah, because you and Alice dragged her through Port Angeles all day," I retorted.

Rosalie snickered. "Whatever. Just get her into bed. Em, you coming?"

"Yep. Just going to get Tristy out of the living room."

"I hope he won't remember how his father used to call him when he was a baby," she sighed.

"Don't worry Rose, he won't," Emmett told her, kissing her cheek.

Rosalie walked upstairs, soon followed by Emmett with Tristan. "Enjoy," he beamed.

"So…eh…am I allowed to sleep in the same room as you, now?" I asked. I could sleep on my couch.

"No."

Oh. Shit. Don't show how disappointed you are; don't make it any harder for her…

I was interrupted by Bella's giggles.

"What's so funny?"

"I meant 'No, you're not allowed to sleep in the same room as me, because you're needed to sleep in the same bed as I.' I can't have you in the same room, but not in the same bed."

I took her in a hug, and kneeled down to kiss her stomach. "I love you very much," I whispered to her skin.

We walked upstairs together, and dressed in PJ's. Bella nestled herself close to me.

My God, another thing I'd missed freaking much.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered against the fabric of my shirt.

My throat went dry. "I love you, too, Isabella. Always have, always will." I kissed the crown of her head.

It wasn't long before Bella felt asleep.

But I couldn't.

I had my Bella in my arms again.

I had to look after her. After all, I was her guardian angel, wasn't I?

"Edward, don't leave me. I love you, don't leave me. I need you, Edward," Bella murmured.

Even if I knew she was asleep, I whispered "I won't Bella, I won't. I will stay with you forever," in her ear.

Her talking became less pained and more happy after that. One last kiss on her lips, and I fell asleep as well.

This was home.

* * *

**So.................WHAT DO YOU SAY? Next chapter is chapter 13, and that is my lucky number, so make me happy, and give me a snow blizzard of reviews!**

**I'm done with explaining. Bella has forgiven Edward. He only needs to officially apologize to his folks and sibs. **

**Chapter 13 will be up as soon as possible, I'm thinking about a Christmas present. Although I have to celebrate Dec 25th with my family. So I don't think I will have time then. Maybe earlier. But I have to confess, chapter 13 is not finished _at all. _I have some ideas and all, but it's mostly still in my head and vaguely.**

_Play list of this chapter_

_**~ the Exies – Stray  
~ Thom Yorke – Harrowdown Hill  
~ Daughtry – Home  
~ Muse – Sing for Absolution  
~ Owl City – Vanilla Twilight **( I L.O.V.E. him. He's my BIG crush. I'm obsessed with Owl City)  
_**_~ Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Done All Wrong  
~ Ingrid Michaelson – The Way I Am  
~ Death Cab for Cutie – Marching Bands of Manhattan  
~ The Runaways - Lovers _**(_Only used for ring tone for Esme. It has nothing to do with the feeling of this chapter. I first used Chopin, but well I thought 'Why not using the Runaways?' Trailers of the movie have been released by the way. AWESOME)_  
**(**lyrics will be posted on my LiveJournal soon. _SoeySammy13_**)**

**Other songs who reminded me of this chapter:  
****  
**_~ Bloc Party – Signs  
~ Eisley – Memories  
~ Mae - Cover Me_

**Anything remarkable about Alice? I have been 'hinting' about this for already a few chapters. Okay, now I probably gave it away by talking about this...Didn't you think any further about her, or well her flu. Now it's really a dead give-away.**

**Make my lucky number 13 even luckier by reviewing!**


	13. My Guardian Angel

**First of all: SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRRY. Really sorry for the long time it took to get this up. I have been in a depressed mood, meaning I wasn't happy with this story and thought it bad and blah blah blah. It just didn't work out. But Sunday I took the time and today I finished it up. It's kind of a weird chapter. From everything a little. Hope it's not too confusing. **

**Once again, I'm amazed by all the people who favorite this story and they who review. It's getting close to the 20,000 hits mark and 119 people have this story on alert. THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**This is the 13th chapter, and since that's my lucky number it's extra special. Thank you: _ChameleonxBookworm, Deboraa, Samirabws, Vamp4475, teambellaedward, malegonz, Rosebud, livvi84, i want to save you, xXAmeliaCullenXx, Jaimini, HUngry Pie, insomniac4liFe96, Holy Cross Babay, pumpkinborg, verox29, KristenStewartFan, BrittanyVampire, InLoveWithTheSupernatural, Beesy, Madjestic, Chaaaar, NAt, lovelah, KaitlinM15, bookfreaklover, High Queen Susan the Gentle, Fanpire97, iluvtwilight93, SweetNonsense, kimicullen1721, Sindy, Aby, -hungrypuff, Louisa, reader1234, twilightfan199, Hannah Nicole Cullen, Edwardcullenlover954, AngelsLuvMe, HiddenInTheWords, Juliabug8, r-pattz29, anadominicana20 _for your reviews. Means the world to me. **

**Thanks to my Beta, _iluvmusic123. _And my three besties: Jame, KJ & Roos.**

**And let's begin.**

_I see you  
I see you  
Walking through a dream  
I see you  
My light in darkness breathing hope of new life  
Now I live through you and you through me  
Enchanting  
I pray in my heart that this dream never ends  
I see me through your eyes_

_Living through life flying high  
Your life shines the way into paradise  
So I offer my life as a sacrifice  
I live through your love  
You teach me how to see_

_All that's beautiful  
My senses touch your word I never pictured  
Now I give my hope to you  
I surrender  
I pray in my heart that this world never ends  
I see me through your eyes  
Living through life flying high_

_Your love shines the way into paradise  
So I offer my life  
I offer my love, for you  
When my heart was never open  
(and my spirit never free)  
To the world that you have shown me  
But my eyes could not division  
All the colours of love and of life ever more_

_**~Leona Lewis - I See You (Avatar Theme Song)**_

* * *

I want to wake up like this forever.

Having no rush or stress, and when I would open my eyes I would see the most beautiful sight you could ever see.

Edward Cullen.

He wasn't awake yet, and he was on his side, facing me.

Locks of his bronze hair were hanging over his eyes.

I reached out my hand and softly stroke his hair away.

While I was watching him sleep, I thought back about our life together.

How it had intertwined since the first moment we met, on Forks High School.

How he always checked on me, whenever or wherever he was.

Even when he was in the public eye, he always knew to find me.

I hadn't know he meant the "you're always with me" that literally until he showed me the necklace he was always wearing under his shirt.

It showed a silver plate with my name written on it, in _his _own handwriting.

I remember the time he had taken me to LA in a weekend near the end of the summer break. It was the weekend of the MTV Movie Awards.

I didn't want to sit in the audience, because I knew I couldn't hold up the charade. Whenever his face was showed or his voice was let heard, I would have fucking squealed, run up to him and fucking kissed him like I would die if I wouldn't.

That wasn't me.

I was plain, shy Bella Swan.

At least, that was what I thought I was before I met Edward.

That boy made me alive, made me _feel _alive. I hadn't been unhappy with my life before, but it was like everything was brighter and intense.

And so there I was, just hanging around backstage and looking around. Almost fainting every time I saw a big movie star walking past me and giving me a big smile.

There would be a fourteen year old girl very jealous at me back at home.

I had never been in love before I met Edward, and so I had absolutely no experience with it. I got it extra hard, because I fell in love with an actor, a very famous actor.

Over the years, I learned to live with the fact my boyfriend appeared on many magazine covers and in many bullshit stories.

We both didn't want to live in LA, because we knew the craziness would go to our heads very soon.

It's not that our relationship has been easy and amazing.

We've had our ups and downs, just like every other couple.

But maybe ours was a little more intense.

You could quite say that Edward and I are both very passionate people, be it in different subjects.

His possessiveness/protectiveness and my secrecy wanted to crash sometimes.

But we always sorted them out.

We couldn't stay apart for too long before we got desperate and longed for each other's company and warmth again. I know, we're giant cowards, but it's just really hard to keep your feet down when you're arguing with Edward fucking Cullen. God, he's so sexy when he's angry or pissed off. And freaking funny (when the reason for his anger isn't that bad).

My record was two hours. That is long, very long.

I traced his perfect sculped face with my fingers, touching every point. His jaw was a little scruffy, but I liked that.

I thought back about that one embarrassing night, when Edward wanted to introduce himself to Charlie. As my boyfriend.

_**{flashback}**_

"Edward," I hissed. "Stop it."

He chuckled next to me.

This was _so _embarrassing. Edward wanted to meet Charlie, officially, as my _boyfriend_.

I'd never had a boyfriend before, nor had Maya.

To make it worse: Edward was having the fun of his life.

We had just returned from an after party at the Cullen's, after Emmett's baseball game. We had spent the afternoon with karaoke. (Emmett had an early game for once)

Both Charlie and Maya were at home.

Even better. Not.

When I opened the door, I was greeted by Maya's chipper "Hi Bells." She descended the stairs, seeing the person next to me. "And Edward."

She walked ahead of us towards the living room.

Edward wanted to touch me, but I yanked his hand away every time he tried.

"Look who Bella brought with her tonight, Dad," Maya said and plopped on the couch next to Charlie.

My Dad turned his head towards us. "Hey Bells. And…Edward. How are you, son? How is Carlisle?" He clearly hadn't took the hint why I'd brought _Edward_ with me.

Edward joyfully played along. "Hey Charlie. I'm good, as is my father. What can I say, he's a busy worker," he smiled.

Charlie laughed along. "So, you wanna stay over for dinner? Maya's gonna cook. She might be a less better cook than Bella here, but she's much better than her mother," he chuckled.

"Thanks so much, Dad," Maya said.

"That would be very nice," Edward told him.

God, this was killing me. How blind could Charlie be? My blush was even worse than it normally was, I was glancing at Edward at all the time, probably with goo goo eyes. Well, if Edward wouldn't spill, then it would be up to me I guess. Edward probably said nothing to torture me only more. I'm sure he had it all planned in his head. Hell no, he was going to say the 'news', it had to be all up to me. Fucker. "Dad, I…actually we wanted to tell you something…" I looked up to Edward.

Charlie's relaxed face expression turned into surprise.

From the corner of my eye I saw Maya biting her lip to prevent she would burst out into laughter.

"Dad…" Edward took my hand and gave it a encouraging squeeze. "Dad, Edward is my boyfriend," I said to the ground. After it had left my mouth, I soon looked up to see my father's reaction.

Charlie's eyes widened further, and his face turned a scary purple.

Maya and I both looked to our Dad with panic and concern.

Please Dad, say something. Say something.

Fi-nal-ly Charlie spoke. "You're dating? _Him_? Doctor Cullen's boy?"

"Eh yeah."

"How long?"

"Officially for just two days, but it was just a matter of time actually," Edward spoke, as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

"Oh."

I didn't know what to say, because I was afraid I would sound too old.

Again, Edward saved me. "Charlie, chief Swan, don't worry. I will take care of Bella as if she is my own life. Which she practically is," he muttered the last words. "She will be safe with me."

"Right. You better keep your word, boy."

"Dad," Maya said, slapping his arm softly. "Don't be too harsh for him. Be happy for them. Be honest, have you ever seen Bella so happy and cheerful as she is now?"

Charlie huffed.

"You see? Nothing to worry about."

"Okay. Don't get me wrong Bells, I'm really happy for the both of you," he smiled to me.

I smiled back to him.

"Thanks Charlie."

"But know this Edward, Bella is my little girl. Please don't hurt her."

Embarrassing, embarrassing.

"I won't even think of it."

_**{end of flashback}**_

I smiled.

When I touched his marvellous lips - who truly deserve an award - I was surprised when they kissed my fingertips. I gasped.

Edward chuckled, keeping his eyes closed.

"You were awake all the time?"

He nodded.

"Cheater," I growled, slapping his arm.

"Ow. Can't I enjoy the joy of the feeling your fingers give me?"

I sighed.

He rolled over and gave me a soft, but passionate kiss. Then he moved to my belly, and drooled it over with sweet pecks. "How is my baby doing? You aren't hurting Mommy too much, are you? Daddy wouldn't like that. I love you." He sat up. "So, I'm ready for the doctor's appointment."

"Sure, Edward. It's the most ordinary thing to apppear at the doctor's office in your pajamas," I laugehd.

"Funny."

Edward changed into jeans, Vans, a too perfect fitting shirt and hoodie with zipper.

If God existed, he was standing right in front of right now.

* * *

"Miss Swan?"

I nodded and stood up – what had become more and more difficult lately. I felt an arm supporting me.

Edward.

Last night, I had just laid it down. I was done fighting. I was done with being angry at him.

I had forgiven him.

He left me. Not because he didn't love me anymore, but because he was afraid for my safety and happiness. He tried to forget me, but he couldn't. He missed me. He cried for me and our baby.

And I knew with everything I had in me, Edward would _never ever _leave me again. He would never make the same mistake again.

The weird, and creepy, thing was that somehow the fact that I'd forgiven Edward was all over the internet.

The only ones who truly knew were our families and closest friends.

Yes, we had been open about that this morning while we walked hand in hand from the car to the hospital doors. That had been just fifteen minutes ago.

Weird.

Plus, when we strolled through downtown Seattle earlier this morning, on our way to pregnancy gym, there were some people recognizing us. It were just some fans, and they were all really nice.

But when we –after the session had ended- walked out of the building, it weren't just nice fans. No, the local paparazzi had heard of Edward Cullen going to pregnancy yoga with his fiancée, too.

Edward had been out of the spotlight for quite some days, and paparazzi were desperate to see some glance of him. Fuckers.

But my personal guardian angel shielded me from the low-lives – another reason why I love him. He pulled me closer to his side, and draped his jacket over my head.

That was a good distraction, because I got a whole wave of Edward's delicious scent.

It's not that I've forgiven Edward entirely, but I know I will do one day. Fighting against my feelings, needs and emotions have exhausted me.

I mean, I've had a tough time this past few weeks.

Especially my Dad, Maya and Phil were surprised that I'd stopped putting my feet down.

Mom was as always very understanding. But well, she had it big for Edward, so he could hardly do anything wrong. If I forgave him, she did too.

Charlie would come visit us this noon. He'd had it very busy with many cases this weeks, and he had been exhausted. He wanted to have full energy for me. Man, I love my Dad.

But I knew he would give Edward a _very _hard time.

Maya was just hurt and disappointed. But she would come over it soon enough, knowing her.

Phil could understand Charlie, and he couldn't imagine someone would ever do such a thing to a woman, to me, to Maya or to his own little girl Billie Jean.

My thoughts were disturbed by doctor Patrol. "So, Isabella, how are you feeling? Carlisle told me you've had a tough time."

"Yeah, that's right. But I'm okay now."

"That's great. Let's see how your baby is. Still not want to know the gender of the baby?"

"No."

"Okay, then." He put some cold jelly on my stomach, but it didn't bother me anymore. I had grown used to it.

My eyes looked to the screen. My little baby got more clear and clear every time I had an echo. I could remember the first echo we had. When the doctor pointed spots and said what it was, I was like 'sure'. But now I could almost count the little fingers and toes.

"It's so beautiful and perfect Edward," I whispered, clinging on his hand for dear life. I moved my free hand to the screen, tracing the lines of my little nudger.

"Yes, it is," he whispered back.

"You want the images of the echo?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay, Fey will print them for you." He scrambled something down on his clapboard. "Have you decided where you want to give birth? Doctor Cohen told me you had been quit unsure where you wanted to give birth." Doctor Cohen had treated me while I was back in New York.

"Here. In Forks. Giving birth at the Cullens house wouldn't be a problem for me, but in the hospital is okay with me, too."

He nodded. "You and your baby are okay, but I advice you to eat more and take more vitamins. Eat many vegetables and fruit. I think you could give birth at home, but hold hospital bags back, for if it would be smarter to deliver the baby here."

"Okay, thank you doctor Patrol."

"My pleasure."

"Thanks," Edward said and shook his hand.

Doctor Patrol smiled to him.

We walked over to the reception where we got the snapshots of the echo and a prescription for extra vitamins.

When we were ready, we walked to the parking lot. I was thankful for being in this peaceful town. No paparazzi ever came here. I had seen videos where pregnant celebrities were squeezed while leaving the hospital every time.

But I was lucky.

Edward turned up the radio and put a CD on play. Snow Patrol.

I was intensely watching him when he turned his gaze to me. "What?"

"I love you. And thanks, for going to yoga and the doctor's appointment with me. It was nice to know you was with me," I said while looking at my hands in my lap.

He smiled my crooked smile. "I liked it, too. I've missed this."

I didn't want to think about the days he was gone.

"I…I…eh…ordered a new car."

"You did?"

"Yes. The Volvo C30 isn't a really good family car, as much as I love it. I'm still keeping her, but well…I thought it would be better to get a new car."

"You took that black big one?"

"Yes."

"Always a Volvo," I chuckled.

"Can't do anything about it," he chuckled along.

Edward took me to a small but beautiful little café, near the ocean. I had never heard of it before, but I made a mental note to come here more often.

* * *

As soon as we came home, Alice ran up to me.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a moment?"

I glanced towards Edward, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Sure."

She brought me to the work room, a room with many computers and book shelves. It looked over the backside of the house.

Alice plopped down on one of the seats.

I carefully went to sit on the one next to her.

"What's going on, Alice?"

She shook her head a few times. "How…how was your day? With Edward?"

A smile appeared on my face, automatically. "Great. I've missed him, being there with and for me. He held my hand all the time. We've got the prints of the baby with us. Oh, and he ordered a new car, for in New York."

"Yeah, he told me about that," Alice chuckled. "It's great you two are okay again."

"Has he apologized to you already?"

"No, not really. But I know how sorry he is. He doesn't need to apologize, but I understand why Mom and Dad are pushing him so much."

"That reminds me…Why did Carlisle and Esme want to talk to Jasper and you?"

She took a deep breath. "Remember I had a flu?"

I nodded.

"That wasn't a flu. Jasper and I didn't think anything behind it. I mean, I have worked a lot these days, I was under a lot of stress…Fashion week and a new collection coming up, you know. We thought my body had just broken down, and that I hadn't had my period because of the stress. It has happened to me before."

"You're pregnant," I muttered.

Alice looked me in the eye, and slowly nodded.

"OhMyGosh! How amazing, Alice!" I squealed and hugged her.

She was smiling now, but it hadn't reached her eyes.

"You're not happy?"

"No, no that's not. Of course I'm happy. It's just…don't tell Edward, okay?"

"Of course not." Where was she worrying about so much?

Alice was fidgeting with the rope of her vest. "I want to tell him myself. You know, I was the first one he told about proposing to you. Or when he wanted to ask you to prom. Edward and I have shared everything in our lives. And now…I feel so bad about not informing him about my pregnancy."

"Alice, hey. You've known it for just a day, or so. Edward really won't be mad. If he is, he's just a prick. He will be so happy for you, Alice."

She weakly smiled up to me. "He's had so much on his mind lately…I didn't want to be a burden."

"You're never a burden, Alice. To no-one. We love you so much."

"Ah, Bella. You're the best best friend on earth. Ever." Her voice sounded much stronger now. She took me in a hug.

"So…You have names already?" I teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Swan, very funny."

"Couldn't hold it."

"I heard Charlie's coming over today?"

"Yeah. He is. I'm sure it's gonna be very awkward."

"Bella, he's your father. He has been so worried."

"How do you know?"

"Bella, he called me like thousand times, a day."

Great. I didn't want to know what Charlie had heard about my depression. I scoffed.

"Relax. I didn't go into details that much. Just be nice. He loves you."

"I know. I'm just afraid he's going overboard, and that he will kill Edward."

"He's your father after all. You've seen how overboard Edward can go if it's about you. They're both very protective over you. It doesn't matter how old you are, for Charlie you will probably always stay seven year old Bella. Look at us, Mom still sees us as if we were little kids."

"True."

"And Edward deserves some hard time."

"Well, I don't know if he deserves the hard time my Dad is probably going to give him."

Alice grabbed my hand. "Edward and you are okay now, and knowing you that's the most important thing to you. Apart from your baby. Before you know, it has all passed."

"If I didn't have you," I sighed.

Alice rolled her eyes.

* * *

We were having lunch, the entire Cullen family spread out in the kitchen.

"Oh Honor, your dog is so gross. Why do you keep taking her with you all the time?" Emmett complained.

"Jeez, Em, how old are you? I've had Harper for years. And besides, she's less worse than your bull dog of a Sherlock Holmes," Honor spat back. Honor and Emmett were always having this little arguments, but deep down these two cared for each other very much.

Edward chuckled, joined by the rest of us. "You can never win of her, Emmett."

Emmett growled towards his little brother and shot him a glance.

Esme poured another few cups of orange juice, when the bell rang.

Carlisle went for it. "That will be Charlie."

My Dad. Keep it nice, Bella. Yes, I'd missed him like crazy, but sometimes he could overreact a little too much. That always was humiliating embarrassing.

The time he had taken us to the funfair at Santa Monica Pier flashed on my mind.

"_Hey, my daughter hit the right button. Why doesn't she get a bigger price than that pathetic teddy bear of yours?!"_

"_Dad, it's okay," I muttered, pulling on his jacket. I had turned a crimson red._

"_No, it's not Bells." He turned to the man again. "Now, give my girl the teddy she deserves or you will pay."_

"_Is that so, sir?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Well, I see."_

_I saw my Dad reaching for his badge._

"_Dad, don't."_

_Maya had arrived as well, licking on her ice-cream. "'S up, Daddy?"_

"_I just have to arrange something with this man, Mayie. Don't worry."_

_She shot me a questionable look._

_Charlie pulled out his badge and showed it to the man. "Because I'm a cop, dumb-ass."_

"_Dad, let's go. I don't need a bigger teddy bear." I pulled harder on his jacket._

"_Yeah Daddy, I'm tired. I want to sleep."_

_Finally, Charlie gave in. "Bastard," he spat at the man before we left._

"How I missed your smell," Edward murmured against my cheek, bringing me out of the flashback, and kissed it.

I felt the heat on my face increasing. A moan escaped my mouth involuntary.

Edward chuckled.

"Shut up."

"Just deal with the fact you want me."

"Dream on, Edward."

"Already doing," he smiled against my cheek.

That was our position when Carlisle reappeared. He looked…surprised and a little shocked.

This wasn't good.

On the heels, he was followed by Charlie, who looked ready to beat up some face.

But that wasn't a surprise, not compared to what – or rather say who- followed him.

Jake.

What the hell what he was doing here?

Had Charlie brought him with him? Why? Why would Charlie ever do that?

I gasped.

Edward turned around to see why I'd gasped. He growled when he saw Jacob. And likewise.

"Who let that dog in?!" Rosalie spat.

Emmett rolled his eyes.

I had no idea why the Cullens and the Quileutes were always so prejudiced towards each other. Something in the past, Edward had once told me. He hadn't wanted to go on about it.

"You're okay?" Charlie asked me, approaching us and totally ignoring Edward and the rest of the Cullens. His eyes were full of panic and concern.

"Yes, Dad."

He didn't look to convinced. "Good. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. I'd wanted to, but…"

"Dad, I'm okay. Really. More than okay." I wasn't lying.

He sighed of relief. "Mayie is coming over, too. Renee will stop in LA, and will help her with packing, and then they will come to Forks together."

"Oh, that's great."

"Maya is coming?" Honor burst out, her dog in her arms.

"Honor," Edward sighed.

That was when Charlie realized why he was here again. He, just as his oldest daughter, was very good in blocking negative things out of his mind. "You and I need to talk," he pointed to Edward.

Here it comes. "Dad," I sighed, embarrassed.

"No, Bella. He must not think he can just get away with leaving my daughter, my _pregnant_ daughter, broken. It happened once to me, _once_, and that was already one time too much. This is something between the father and the love of his daughter, between me and Edward. Now, if you will excuse me." He walked away, to the door which led to the river eventually.

Edward let go of me, and wanted to follow my dad.

"Edward, you don't have to do this…"

"Yes, Bella, I have to. Don't worry. I won't take too long," he said and kissed me lightly on the lips.

I wasn't satisfied and deepened the kiss.

He chuckled. "Later, Bella, later."

"I will hold you onto that."

Edward gave me his crooked smile, _my _crooked smile.

"O-kay," Honor let out as soon as my father and fiancé were gone.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a sec," Jacob said, clearly feeling very uncomfortable. I'd forgotten he had been here too. He looked angry and hurt.

"Sure, why not?" I glanced towards the direction Edward had gone.

"Bella, are you stupid? The last time he spoke to you, he made you cry and upset! Not in this house mongrel," Rosalie spat.

Jacob wanted to make a comment, but Carlisle – the ultimate peace maker – stopped him. "Maybe it's better if you take another room."

"I rather don't talk in this house."

"You can also go outside," Carlisle proposed.

"Carlisle, it's not all sunny and warm. Bella will catch a cold," Esme argued, concerned.

"Mom, don't worry. Alice Cullen has the perfect coat for Bella soon-to-be-Cullen Swan," Alice told her mom. She left off, and soon came back with a thick, woolen coat.

"Here," she simply said.

Jacob was eying me impatiently.

"So, where did you want to talk about?" I asked as soon as we were outside.

"I'd never expect this from you Bella…"

"I lost you."

"It's like he hasn't left you. If you treat him like this, he will soon leave again."

"Jacob, he won't. You don't know Edward. He left off to protect me, against himself. That you're so selfish, doesn't have to mean everyone has to be!" My voice increased.

"Bella, he hurt you. He broke you. He cheated on you. That's not nothing."

I wasn't going to respond on that. Jake just didn't understand.

"Done?" I asked, annoyed.

"Just know you will always have another option, more peaceful and safe, closer to your Dad…"

Jacob was never going to give up, was he? He never wanted to see the truth.

"With Edward is where I'm the most safest. It's where I belong."

He cringed. "That's because you hold onto him so much."

"It's because I _know_. I don't need anyone else. I'm happy, and if you're my friend, you wouldn't ruin that for me."

So, that could sink in.

I wanted to head back inside. I'd already turned around and taken a few steps, before a firm and _huge _hand grabbed my upper arm.

Jacob spun me around. "I wasn't finished, Bella."

I sighed and impatiently patted my foot.

But there didn't come any words.

I felt his breath coming closer.

Then he did something I would never have expected.

Jacob Black kissed me.

Or at least, he intended to kiss me.

Before his lips had touched me, he was leaped off me.

"LEAVE! _NOW_! Don't _EVER_ dare to touch this ground again! And don't touch my fiancée! Stay the hell away from her!"

Jacob only grinned to my bronze haired hero. That was the Jacob I disgusted with everything I had in me.

Before I knew, Edward and Jacob were fighting.

"Stop! Guys, stop!"

"Bella, stay out of this. You don't want the baby to get hurt, huh?" Carlisle spoke, a hand on my shoulder.

I looked at him with horror. "Please, I don't want them to get hurt," I pleaded at him.

"Don't worry, Bella."

Two pair of arms replaced Carlisle's arm. Esme and Alice.

They took me inside, which took some time, since I just couldn't walk away from this. From Edward.

"Emmett, Jasper, pull them off each other," Carlisle commanded.

I turned around one more time, before I would be inside.

Stupid was the last thing I thought, because after that I fainted.

* * *

"Bella? Bella?" I heard his beautiful voice coming from a distance. "How long has she been away?" he asked to someone else.

I felt a heavy pain in my head, and nauseas. Edward, Edward, I whispered. But my mouth didn't produce any sound. I tried again. "Edward…"

"Bella?"

"What happened?" I still had my eyes closed.

"You fainted, sweetheart."

"Oh." I did? Well, I don't remember anything of that. I moved my head to both sides, feeling the headache flowing through my head. "My head…headache."

"I will get an aspirin."

I slowly opened my eyes, taking in the room. I was in the living room, on the couch.

"Hey," Edward muttered. "You're back." I could see a glint of sweat on his forehead, and his hair was a mess.

I pulled out my arm and softly stroke the hair out of his face.

He smiled.

Carlisle came into the room. "So, I see you're back again. How are you feeling?"

"A little nauseas and I have a headache." I looked down myself, meeting my belly. I gasped. "The baby…it didn't get hurt, did it?"

"Relax, Bella. Esme and Alice could take hold of you before you fell. But Jesus, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

I chuckled. "Sorry. You're sure the baby is okay?"

"Yes. Ask the doc," he glanced towards Carlisle.

"Edward is right. Your baby is okay."

I blew out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. "Good." I looked around. "Where's Charlie?" I hadn't seen him since he had disappeared to talk with Edward. "What did he say to you?"

Edward swallowed.

I hastily moved up. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"Relax, Bella," he said, pushing me down again. He bent down and kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger there.

It immediately soothed me. "Okay, okay," I nodded.

"He warned me."

"For what?"

"If I would ever dare to leave you again, he would chase me down and beat me up. Oh, and I would go to jail."

"He can't do that."

"He won't. I will never leave you, so he doesn't need to," he said, cupping my face.

"Anything more?"

Slowly, his breathtaking crooked smile appeared on his face, letting me melt from top to toe.

"What?" I smiled.

"Well…" his entire face lit up. "Charlie said that, although I've hurt you many times, he saw how much I really loved you. "You're perfect for her, I can't deny it. I'm grateful for how happy you make Bells. She doesn't really talk much about your relationship, but I know she doesn't want anyone but you. Whenever you are mentioned…she's all interested." That's what he said as well." The crooked smile still hadn't left Edward's face.

"God, Charlie told you _that_?" Charlie had been paying more attention than I thought.

"He did."

"You liked that, didn't you?"

Edward moved his head. "Well…yeah," he chuckled.

"My beautiful, protective, amazing and sucking fiancé," I muttered, kissing his lips softly. That was when I noticed a bruise under his left eye. "Edward, what happened? Did Jacob hit you?"

He looked away from my eyes. "Not now, Bella. Please."

I knew he knew we had to talk about what had happened. But he was right. Not now. "I'm hungry," I declared.

"You are?"

"Yes I am," I laughed.

"Let's do something about that."

I shoved my arm in his and together we walked to the kitchen.

Edward walked over to the huge fridge and pulled it open. "Okay, what do you want?"

"What do we want?" I asked to my nudger.

"Pasta…cake…muffins…" he murmured, with his head in the fridge.

Thank you, thank you to anybody who listens, for giving me this adorable man.

Who could have thought that? Edward 'Hollywood's Pride' Cullen with his head in the fridge, looking for food to give to his fiancée and unborn baby.

Hallelujah.

"Bella, what do you want?"

"Huh?"

Edward chuckled. "Sweetheart, what do you want?"

I shook my head to get my thoughts clear. "I want to make something myself."

"May I help?"

"Of course."

Together we made salmon and sushi.

"This is good," Edward muttered, having a bite in his mouth.

"I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

"You didn't burn anything."

"Hey, who says I can't cook?"

"Edward, be honest, you're not the best cook."

"Yeah, compared to my fiancée. I can make meals. I've cooked plenty of times for us."

"True."

"And Martha Stewart asked me."

"She did?"

He nodded.

"When?"

"In a month or so. I'm gonna cook with her. Isn't that cool?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

I slapped his arm. "Show-off."

"Love, let me enjoy this for a moment please."

I rolled my eyes.

"God, what do I smell here?" Emmett beamed, walking in. "Sneaky eating all the food, huh?"

"Em, 1. we cooked it ourselves. Try that too. 2. let us enjoy a moment alone, please."

"Dude, you have plenty time to be alone with your woman. Now, let me have some too."

"No."

"Dear little brother, I don't want to break you, but if I have to…sorry mate."

"Get your own."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Jeez, do you have to be the smart-ass again, Eddie?"

"Don't call me Eddie!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's annoying."

"Baby."

"You say."

"Boys, stop fighting. Behave like your age, please," Esme commanded her sons. "So, what did I smell?"

Before I could explain what we had cooked, Edward said "Bella and I made salmon and sushi. Just for the two of us. If you want some yourself, go and make it." He walked out of the kitchen. "You're coming, Bella?"

"See ya," I laughed when I followed Edward.

* * *

We laid on his bed, intertwined with and to each other.

"I love you," I muttered in his chest.

"Love you, too," he whispered, kissing my hair.

"Dusty sent me a new script." Dusty White is his agent.

"Tell me about it?"

"It's called _Water for Elephants_."

"That sounds cool," I giggled.

Edward rolled his eyes.

"What? I'm giving my opinion. I think you should do it. Unless it's within a month after I've given birth. And we have a wedding in August."

"You even haven't heard where it's about!"

"No, I don't. But if Dusty and you think it's a good movie, I agree with that. And it's you who has to perform in it. Not me."

"Bella, haven't you realized before? Your opinion is just as important as Dusty's and my own. Maybe even more important."

"Thanks," I muttered, burying my nose in his neck.

"It's the truth."

"Did Alice talked with you?"

"About her being pregnant?"

I nodded.

"Yes. She came to me soon after she told you. Can you believe it? Alice, my sister, is going to get a baby."

"Amazing, huh?"

"Yeah, but I still have to get used to it."

"I wanna watch _the Vampire Diaries_," I blurred out. I'd read the books when I was little, and I knew they had made a show now, but I'd never really seen it.

"That show where a vampire falls in love with a human girl? And with that Damon brother?"

"Yep."

"You think that dudes can play a better vampire than me?" he pouted.

"No, I didn't say that."

"Sure."

"Edward, you've played the most sexy, caring, romantic and handsome vampire _ever_," I said, placing kisses all over his chest.

He rolled me over, hovering over me. He bent down, his mouth at my neck. He moved closer and closer. "Say it again."

His lips were almost touching my neck. "You are the best vampire ever."

Then he bent down even more, biting my neck.

I let out a loud moan.

My vampire.

My guardian angel.

My vampire guardian angel.

* * *

Eventually, Edward and I walked downstairs do watch _the Vampire Diaries_.

Honor Rose Cullen was quite obsessed with bloodsuckers and owned everything related to the mythic beings. From books to movies, from magazines to TV-shows. _The Vampire Diaries_ included.

The entire Cullen family was seated in the living room.

They all looked up when we entered.

"Hey," Alice greeted.

"Hi."

I felt then and there that this was the best time for Edward to apologize. I knew his family, especially his parents, would appreciate it very much if he would do that.

"Edward," I whispered. "I think it's time. Apologize." I went to stand on tiptoes and kissed his neck. "You can do it."

He nodded. "You're right. I owe them."

I smiled against his neck and moved down.

Edward cleared his throat. "Mom, Dad, Em, Alice, Hon, Jazz, Rose…" he cleared his throat again. "I want to apologize for my behavior from the past time. It wasn't my intention to hurt you, and I'm truly sorry that I did. I want you to know that it's not, I repeat not, your fault for what happened. It's all mine. I made decisions, decisions I regret with everything I have in me. I'm thankful for the love, support and thrust you give me. I don't deserve it, but still thanks. And I…" he had tears in his eyes, just as everyone else did. Including me. "I love you, very much. I hope you can forgive me and I will try my best to be a good son, caring brother and supporting friend again."

Not all to unexpected, it was Honor moving as first. She sprinted to Edward and hugged him hard. "I love you, too Edward. And I'm sorry for what I've said." She whipped away her tears and smiled.

Edward smiled back. "Thanks Honor."

His little sister hugged him again and when she pulled away she clapped in her hands and squealed, looking so much like Alice.

Esme and Carlisle followed, before Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie.

"Don't you think you are a better speech person than I am, Cullen," she teased.

"I wouldn't dare."

"Group hug," Alice beamed.

The eight of them all encircled their arms around each other.

"Bella, come too."

I blushed.

"Bella," Edward almost growled.

I bit my lip, but gave in. I was squealed between Emmett and Edward.

* * *

"Isabella! Isabella! Is it true you have forgiven Edward?"

"Did he really cheat on you?"

"Are you planning on taking revenge?"

"How is the baby doing?"

That were just a few shouts I got thrown to my head while I was walking down the pavement on the way to my save harbor. Anytime, anywhere.

Edward.

I shielded my face with one arm, the other I'd laid protectively on my belly.

I had become _really _huge. Like I could pop every moment.

But Rosalie and Esme told me I could get much bigger.

Great.

Not that I cared to be so huge. I mean, since Edward returned, I enjoy my pregnancy 24/7 again. Okay, almost 24/7.

It was more that I couldn't wait to hold my little nudger in my arms. He…it…has lived with me, in me, for the past eight months and I'm so curious to finally see it.

But at the moment, I wanted to run.

The paparazzi were seriously starting to freak me out, and the memory of the day after the Oscars plopped in front of my eyes again. That had been death scary.

I forbid myself to re-think about that.

Just a few more steps, Bella. Breathe. Breathe.

I was looking to the ground, so I didn't see the person coming up to me, and the paparazzi who called themselves professional photographers. Yeah right. (dream on. Parasites are coming closer)

Not until he had placed his arms protectively around me and had pulled me safely in his side.

Do I really need to say his name?

Edward Anthony fucking Cullen, my fucking _fiancé. _Suck it up.

"Hi," I muttered against his chest, feeling the relief flowing through me.

"Hey." I could hear how nerved up he was. His breathing was heavy and he had effort with keeping his voice normal.

"Get me out of here."

I couldn't see how Edward managed to get to the Volvo without getting hurt, since I had my eyes focused on his chest and how heavenly he looked in that jacket + blouse + perfect fitting shirt combination.

I'm sure I kissed it more than once.

When we got in the Volvo, I gave him a soft, but short kiss. "Thanks."

He took my hand in his, and I still could feel his tension.

I moved my fingers over his hand palm, trying to sooth him. "We're okay," I said.

He gave me a small smile.

I opened the dashboard with one hand, still holding Edward's with the other. I saw several files lying in there, and grabbed one out.

It read _**Untitled New Liam Byrne Project.**_

"What's this?"

He looked up to what I was holding. "Oh, that are some new projects. Dusty faxed them over. I picked them up this morning, when you visited the drug store and book store. That…" he pointed to the script I was holding, " is a new Liam Byrne project. Liam is an old friend of my Dad. I haven't done audition yet, but Dusty told me I was their first interest for the role of Eitan. The movie is about a group of close friends, who travel around the world. They lose a mate on a cruel way, and are traumatized for life. You can read through the others as well."

I scanned through the others as well. One was with Edward's best friend Eleazar Bellucci as well. "Hey, this one's with El."

"Yep. That's gonna be a lot of fun," he smiled.

I read the scripts and Edward drove. It was silent. But not an awkward silence, it was peaceful.

"Bella, do you ever think of writing again?" Edward suddenly asked.

I have always loved writing.

It was my safe zone.

I hadn't really have friends, and writing totally occupied me.

I could sit on my room for hours, only needing a pen and notebook.

Most of the things I wrote where just a few pages longs, others had filled an entire notebook.

It wasn't until my seventeenth birthday I had gotten interested to maybe send it up to a newspaper.

But I'd put it away, being to shy and not wanting something so personal becoming public.

Of course Maya had to tell the Cullen about my stories, on such a subtle way as well.

Alice and Emmett wouldn't let me have rest until I would give them my files.

Edward just looked at me, and said nothing. But I could see the pleading curiosity in his beautiful Emerald green eyes.

I couldn't beat _that_.

So I ended up handing some of my stories to them.

Mostly I wrote about non-fictional things, but I'd written one story about unicorns and fairies, in a dark atmosphere.

That was my favorite and most treasured story.

Alice' eyes glittered when she handed me back the stories. She hastily glanced up to Emmett and Edward.

I knew she was hiding something me from me, but I didn't want to be pushy and let it rest.

A few weeks later, I walked in the cafeteria to see all my friends gathered around one table.

"Oh, there she is," Jess commented and everyone turned to me.

Alice smiled, having some kind of newspaper in her hands, and went to stand on the table.

"Could everyone be so nice to be quiet?"

It turned scarily silent in Forks High cafeteria.

"Thank you. I have some announcement to make. I don't know if you know it, but we have a great and talented author on our school. And now she got published in Washington's biggest newspaper. So, I would like to have a big applause for Bella Swan."

What?! I got published? How? When? Why?

I felt my heartbeat speeding up, and I panicked.

Two soft, strong arms pulled me out of my haze.

"Bella? Love, are you okay?"

I blinked my eyes and stared up un his eyes. "I got published?"

He nodded, an emotion burning in his eyes. His face contented some sort of glory, which made him only more breathtaking than he already was.

"How? When? Why?"

Edward chuckled. "Well, Alice insisted on giving your stories a try. But she didn't want to get your hopes up, and didn't want to tell you. She send it to several local and big newspapers."

"She did?"

"Yes."

Alice appeared next to her brother and handed me the newspaper. "Congrats Bella!" She hugged me. "I'm sorry I did it without your permission, but I wanted to give it a try. You're really good, you know. I didn't want to get your hopes up, either. I'm really sorry," she shot me an apologetic smile. "I hope you're not angry at me."

You hardly could get angry on sweet Alice Cullen.

"No, I'm not angry. Just…surprised."

Alice hugged me again.

But I hadn't written seriously for a long time. And I realized I missed it.

"Yes, I do," I widely smiled.

Edward smiled back to me and squeezed my hand. The tension had disappeared.

* * *

**OKay, I hope you enjoyed it and I put enough of pregnancy stuff in it. Review please. Are we up for 14 reviews?**

**It's 11.40 PM now, and I have to go to school tomorrow. And have a maths test. OoPs. But I just had to post this chapter now.**

**Also, I have hell no idea how all the doctor processes go, so don't blame me for mistakes.**

**And _InLoveWithTheSupernatural_, I will use _With Arms Wide Open _soon enough. :)**

**Names for Alice and Jasper's baby are welcome!**

_**Play-list:  
**__**% The Cure – The End of the World  
**__**% The Cure – Love Song  
**__**% Local Natives – Wide Eyes  
**__**% Local Natives – Sun Hands  
**__**% Leona Lewis – I See You (Avatar Theme Song)  
**__**% Wildboyz ft. Ameerah – Sound of Missing You  
**__**% Editors – Papillon  
**__**% 30 Seconds to Mars – Kings and Queens**_

**My most favourite FanFics(see my favourites list):  
- Hiding in Plain Sight, by limona  
- Help Wanted, by jaxon22  
- Forbidden Melody, by twiobsession14  
- Fixers, Broken, by cbaybee**


	14. Chapter 14

**Once again, so so sorry for the long wait. Time flies. It just seems yesterday I posted chapter 13. I like **

**One good thing: chapter 15 is in the works, meaning that there are quite a few parts written and I've got ideas to write out. My intention was to put more in this chapter, but it was already pretty long and it was good like this.**

**Thank you to all who reviewed, and my Beta _iluvmusic123_.**

**You all watched the Oscars? Just saw Kristen, my God she looked dashing, beautiful and amazing. Sadly Rob wasn't there.**

**I like to dedicate this chapter to _Alexander McQueen_,  
****one of my favourite fashion designers and he seemed such a nice man.  
Rest in Peace.  
**

_You don't even know how very special you are  
__  
__You leave me breathless  
__You're everything good in my life  
__You leave me breathless  
__I still can't believe that you're mine  
__You just walked out of one of my dreams  
__So beautiful you're leaving me  
__Breathless  
__**  
~ Shayne Ward - Breathless**_

* * *

_Bella POV_

As I'd told Edward, I was thinking about writing again.

And since I could hardly do anything else than lay in bed by this time – three flight of stairs felt as if I'd run the fucking marathon of New York – I'd surrounded myself with several notebooks, my self-paid iMac laptop (a fact I was quite proud of) and my favorite music. Such as Muse, Radiohead, Kings of Leon, the Gossip, Snow Patrol, Editors.

My music taste was wide – not even close to Edward's, though, and incomparable to his knowledge of music, and vinyl's and CD's he owned – but it really depended on my mood. I grew up with the Beatles, the Clash, the Velvet Underground, Van Morrison, the Cure, Crosby Stills Nash & Young, and a little of the Rolling Stones and the Police.

My Mom mostly listened to more hippie/gypsy/folk stuff, but my Dad loved those bands to death. Quite funny.

I can remember Charlie fully going up in the music of, for example, Lou Reed, not caring about his surroundings and singing along.

I also loved Debussy. Clair De Lune was one of my most played tunes on my iPod.

Edward would come to check on me once in a while, knowing me well enough – maybe a little too well, sometimes even better than I knew myself – to know I preferred to be alone while I wrote.

Another thing was that when Edward would be in my vision or in the same room, I wouldn't be able to look away from him.

Stupid magnet somewhere in his body that pulled me towards him.

At the moment, he was doing promotion interviews and press junkets for his upcoming movie _Remember Me_. Fans had sent in questions, and he would answer them.

Edward had asked if he could do the junkets in Seattle, and they'd said it was okay if he would go to Vancouver instead. Since Rose and Em lived there, he'd lived there himself for a year in his teens and loved the city very much, he said yes.

Due to the Academy Awards and Edward being nominated, the premiere and release date were shoved forwards which made the release date set on April 1. Of course, I didn't want Edward to leave my side, but I knew death well he had to be there at the premiere. Other people would be hurt when he wouldn't come. His very loyal fans for example, and not to forget the cast and crew.

I also knew I couldn't be with him.

I was hardly able to move, let alone take a plane to New York.

No. Way.

Edward and I hadn't really talked about it, yet.

After every interview he did, he called me.

My cell rang again, _Cut_ by Plumb letting me know it was Edward.

I smiled to myself when I took up. "Edward honey, if you keep calling me that much I can never finish it."

"Well…yeah. Sorry. I can't change myself."

I chuckled. "I know, sweetie. So, how was the last interview?"

"The usual. But Shaun was nice. We've met before. She's fun."

I remembered Shaun. She had encountered Edward during the _Avatar_ after party.

I was there, too. Hell no I would miss the big premiere. It was a change to see Edward looking different than he'd ever been. Blue looked good on him.

"Did you get nice questions?"

He laughed his beautiful laugh. "Hell yeah."

"Tell me."

"No, you gotta work."

Bastard. "Edward Cullen, tell me! Or I will inspire a character one you, who's one hell of a man," I threatened.

"That would be an honor."

I sighed. "Please. Honey, will you please tell me? I love you and I wanna know. Please, Edward?" Hah.

He groaned. "Don't pull that trick on me Isabella. You know it will work."

"So?"

He chuckled. "There was a question of this sweet girl from Vancouver, BC, and she asked about the influence you had in my way of acting."

Wow, how did someone get up with _that_? "And what was your answer?"

"Well…" he teased.

"Edward!" I whined.

I heard him chuckle on the other end of the line. "Bella owns me, my heart. Sure she influences my style of acting. She has changed me. I think, thanks to her, I saw the things that are truly important in life more clear. I know what's important to me now. She always says what she thinks of a script, if she wants, but she lets the choice to me. I've learned that the script is the most important, when you are considering a movie. It's not that I can say on which subjects or scenes my fiancée has the most influence, it's the whole package."

"That's what you said?"

"Yeah."

"You can remember it all?"

"Everything connected to you I remember," he said, matter-of-factly.

A lump had formed in my throat. "I love you," I managed to bring out.

"Is everything okay, baby?" he asked concerned.

"Absolutely, apart that I miss you. You just grabbed me in with your words again. I don't know what to say."

"It's the truth, Bella. That's how I feel. I miss you, too."

"You own me, too."

"That's good to hear."

"As if you didn't know that already."

"Well…yeah…it's just good to hear."

"You are such a corny bastard."

"Sue me. No, but how's your book going?"

"Never said I was going to write a book." I just didn't want my hopes getting up. Having no ideals made it less worse when things wouldn't work out.

"How is your writing going? Better?"

I laughed. "My writings are going alright. Only I get disturbed a lot."

"Really? By what? Do I have to call a certain sibling of mine to say he or she has to shut up?"

Did he really not get it? "Edward, are you serious?"

"Huh?"

"You don't get it?"

"Isabella Swan-to-be-Cullen-in-five-months, where on earth are you talking about?"

He had never called me like that, but man what an effect it had on me.

"Bella, love, are you okay?"

I was brought back to my senses. "Edward, honey, are you playing dumb or do you really don't get it?"

He sounded relieved when he answered. "I don't have the entire day, as much as I want, but there are more people who want some time with me."

"You are such a tease, you know."

"Says Bella Swan, who isn't saying what on fucking earth shit she means."

"Edward, the person – it is a person who disturbs me – is a bronze haired, Emerald green eyed god of 6 feet 2 tall. Sounds familiar?"

He gasped. "You mean me?"

"Yep."

"I'm quite offended. Calling me a disturbance? That's way below your level, love."

"I never said I didn't like the disturbance."

"You don't play fair."

"Never said I did."

"My Hell, I'm engaged to one hell of a crazy woman."

"I know you like that."

"Never said I didn't."

"Fucking smart-ass."

"That's why you love me."

"One of the billion reasons why, yeah."

"Tell me."

"No."

Before he could protest, I heard someone yelling to him "Edward, you have your next interview. NOW!"

"Seems you have to go. See you in a few. Love you."

He groaned.

"All part of the job, honey."

"How much more bearable would it be when you would sit next to me, in the same room, or just waiting outside for me."

"I don't think you would be able to give normal answers if that would be the case."

"And?"

"Just go. How sooner you do your interviews, how sooner you will be here again."

"True. Love you. Forever, and always."

"Forever and always."

* * *

_Edward POV_

As I'd told and shown Bella, I'd gotten a lot of new scripts. Which I had to sort out. That was always one of the hardest things to do in my job. Almost every script I got was amazing and I could see myself portraying the character, but I couldn't do it all. I had to drop some. And that was not cool.

Seeing another actor playing the character you badly wanted to play, but due to filming schemes couldn't make, was only worse. But well, I knew I just had to deal with that.

Dusty and I had made an appointment to meet each other in a café in downtown Seattle.

I wasn't Dusty's only client, although I was her most important one, so she couldn't come to the Cullen's mansion that easy. The café wasn't that far away from the airport, which made it easier for her. I didn't want to loose Bella out of my eyes, meaning I wanted her to be in the same city as me. Together with Alice I'd arranged a relaxed all girls day for Bella. On that way, I had her with me in Seattle, just a few blocks apart.

I was already seated in a booth near the window, when Dusty White rushed in.

She kissed me on both cheeks. "Hey Edward. Long time no see. How are you?"

I hugged her. "Good. Better," I shrugged.

Dusty wasn't only my agent, she also was kind of my therapist. Throughout the years she had dealt with many crazy actors and other entertainers. She knew this sick business like no-one else. Her judgment could be trusted, and she always saw the good in everybody.

She squeezed my hand. "That's good. We've all been very worried about you. Your family told me about the things that have happened the past weeks. It has been tough for you, hasn't it?"

I swallowed and took a sip from my coffee. "Yeah." Oh God, I've been such an asshole. I buried my head in my hands. "I've been such a fucking idiot. I hurt her so much."

I heard her taking a bite from her cold pasta. "Edward, one of the things I know for sure is that you would never hurt Bella intentionally. You just can't. You are so non-selfish that you easily ignore your instincts. Everyone hurts the one he or she loves, that's just inevitable. You have to deal with the fact that live isn't perfect, isn't like you sorted it all out in your head." She took another bite.

I glanced out of the window, and noticed some people stealing glances at us.

"I got you a new pile of fan mail, by the way. It's crazy, really. Oh, and Caden discovered there are a few for Bella as well. How sweet, huh?"

Caden McQueen was Dusty's closest assistant. Dusty always took students to help her, her opinion was that you learned the best during fieldwork and not when you would be with your nose in books all the time.

That got me out of my bubble of embarrassment and fear. "Really?"

She nodded while she was chewing.

"That's…that's great."

Dusty leaned over the table and laid a hand on my own. "Edward, relax. You are an amazing, talented and unique person. I've never met someone as passionate and caring as you, especially on such a young age. I'm proud of you. You didn't let yourself grab in by the Hollywood craziness, you stayed true to yourself. I haven't met Bella that much, but the love and care she has for you is so honest and clear in her eyes. She loves you, Edward," and she took her fork again.

I looked down to my plate, seeing I hadn't touched it at all. "I'm going to propose to her again," I blurred out.

"Why? She has already said yes. And you've never broken the engagement."

"Not because I want to be sure of her love, but I want to show her how much I truly love her. I know I've damaged her thrust. She doesn't show me, but I know she's still hurt. You know how stubborn as hell Bella is."

I was disturbed by my ringing cell.

Eagerly, I pulled it out of my pocket, suspecting it was Bella.

I sighed.

Alice. Of course.

"Alice," I sighed in my phone.

"Jeez, Edward, what have I done to you to deserve such a welcome?"

"Well…eh…you have time?"

"Haha. Very funny Cullen, very funny."

"I know," I teased her along.

"Shut it Edward. More important stuff. Dad's birthday, remember?"

"He didn't want to celebrate it." Carlisle's birthday had been on March 16, a little over a week ago.

"Who says we are going to listen to that? Edward, he deserves a little party."

Just to warn you: little in Alice' vocabulary means big in any normal vocabulary.

She was right, tough. My Dad had worked too hard this past years. He had been too good for us, especially for me, and he deserved some none-stress.

"I'm in."

"Knew it. Hey, I already talked with Em about it, and he was all excited…"

"Of course he was."

Alice laughed. "I just have to talk about it with Mom and Hon, and I just told Rose and Bella. Bella said I had to call you, too…"

A smile appeared on my face. Bella was thinking of me, too. Of course she would, but it was always nice and … heartwarming when I heard about it.

"So, when's the date?"

"I thought about a little party at the house, for just close family and all. And maybe, after your baby is born, we could go to London with the entire family. Grandpa lives there, together with Aro and his family, Dad's other closest friends, aunt Robin and aunt Sian and uncle John… Sounds good?"

"Fantastic, Al." I hadn't been to London for too long. Okay, I had filmed back there till just a month ago, but that's always different. I just wanted to go there as a normal person, to enjoy the beauty of the city, not as an actor who happens to film in London.

"First please don't call me Al, it's Alice…"

I sighed. Just as me, Alice could be stubborn as fucking hell, could be quite annoying sometimes.

"Second, great idea, huh?"

"Jeez, Al…ice, are you fishing for compliments or something? Yes, it is a very great idea. Awesome. Now, when's the date?"

It was quiet for a time. "What about tomorrow evening?"

I choked. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah." She sounded as if there was nothing wrong with that.

"You want to throw Dad a party, and you think you can arrange that in one _day_?"

"Edward, I'm offended. Yes, I think I can do that. With a little help of course."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Mom can do the decorating, Bella and Honor the cooking, Rose and I will buy some nice clothes…"

"Alice, please don't go to say I have to wear a suit again. Nothing wrong with suits, honestly, but I have to wear them too many times to bear the fact I have to wear them at home as well."

She sighed again, sure as hell she rolled her eyes with it. "Brother dear, let me finish, okay? I wanted to say, before you interrupted me…"

Rub it in Alice.

"…that Rose and I would buy some nice clothes for _Dad_. He maybe doesn't say it, but I know he likes this nice suits. I saw his look when we were in London together, passing the stores on Bond Street." My family had visited Honor and me during Christmas break, and Carlisle and Alice had visited us in the end of February too, during Fashion Week, the BAFTAs and the Elle Style Awards.

"Go on."

Meanwhile, Dusty was busy with her cell, probably arranging shows and other stuff.

"Em will go to the hospital and kidnap Dad…"

Oh God, I would love to see that.

It would be just Emmett's luck to walk into my Dad while he was during a surgery. Only Emmett could say as if there wasn't a human's life depending on Dad. "Oh hey, I came here to take Doctor Cullen with me. Now."

I chuckled. "What about Jazz?"

"Well, I think you and him have to spend some time in the music room. I thought you could write a song for him or something. Or just perform, if that's too hard."

I groaned. "Great Alice, really great."

"Don't be such a baby, it's your father for God's sake."

"I will see what I can do, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you Edward," she squealed. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I know that, yeah. Love you, too."

"Good, or I would had have to kill you."

"Sure." But I knew she could easily kill someone if she wanted to. When she was younger, and she was angry, she scared the hell out of me. She used to watch this fight programs, and she always thought herself those moves. Dangerous…

"Mhm."

Dusty laid her cell phone on the table and looked at me. Another bunch of obligations.

Great.

"Hey Alice, I got to go, but I will see you soon, 'kay?"

"You can bet on it. The girls and I will bring a dear visit to McDonalds, we all crave for fries and burgers. You are coming, too? You should bring Dusty along, I haven't spoken to her properly for so long."

My sister in McDonalds, I could never get used to it, even we had been there quite a lot of times.

"Yeah, sounds great. Give my love to Bella, will you?"

Alice sighed again. "I could have expected that. You are so predictable sometimes Edward."

"Just do Alice."

"Don't worry, Edward. You know what, I will give her to you. She has been listening intensely."

I heard a hiss in the background and chuckled. Bella.

"Don't whine Bella." Alice spoke in the phone again, "Here she comes."

"Hey love."

"Hi."

"Did Alice torture you much?"

"Nah, it wasn't too bad. Good thing about being so huge is that there is hardly any fancy clothing. Not the clothing Alice likes, at least. She's talking about beginning a maternity line," she laughed.

God how much did I love her laugh.

"But are you coming to good ol' McDonalds, too?"

"You want that?" Just couldn't leave it to tease her.

Bella groaned. "Edward, you know what I want."

Fuck, Bella was really killing me.

"Don't say things like that, baby."

"And why not Edward Cullen?"

Now it was my turn to groan. "Not now. When we're alone, okay?"

"Sure, honey. When we're alone." She knew death well what she was doing, she was using the voice when we were having hot and passionate sex.

"You will pay for this Isabella Swan."

"I would love to Edward Cullen. Now get your lazy ass over here as soon as possible, because I don't want to starve."

I was killed. "You know I want nothing else, but I have to arrange some things first. My work, remember?"

She sighed. "Of course. Will see you soon, then. Love you."

"Love you too, my angel."

I hung up and cleared my throat. "So Dusty, spill it."

"Well, I warn you. You have quite a busy schedule the upcoming weeks. I know you want to keep as much free as you can these upcoming days, but there are some things that have to be done on time. You have a few interviews, with both mags and TV. Ellen, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel…"

"...Access Hollywood wants to talk about _Remember Me_ and _Shutter Island_. Vanity Fair wants an interview and photo shoot, they want you on the cover for the June Issue…You have to promote _Remember Me_, of course, which means you have to attend a couple of meetings, premieres and all that stuff."

"When?" That was the only thing that mattered to me. Bella and the baby would come in front of everything. I had left her once. I wouldn't let her down again, not on such an important time, when she needed my help and support the most. Hell no, I would ever miss the birth of my child, let alone my first child.

"This week you're expected in New York, two days. After that you have nothing until the beginning of April, the _Remember Me_ promotion and all. When all that circus is over, you will have a couple of days off. A little week after the premiere, you will get it busy."

I swallowed.

"When is Bella due?"

"End of April, beginning of May."

"Then there's nothing to worry about for now, right?" She tried to sooth me.

She was probably right, but… "I don't feel good about it. She has had contractions, and I have a feeling she isn't going to make the forty weeks."

"You are scared she will die?!"

God, my breathe stocked in my throat and my heart leaped at the thought. "No, not that, just that Bella will give birth sooner than expected."

Dusty thought for a second. "Well, you are hardly mistaken with your intuition. Just look for it you will always be within reach for her and your family."

I nodded. Somehow she always knew to calm me. "The girls are going to McDonalds and Alice asked if you wanted to come, too. According to her, you definitely need a head up."

She chuckled. "Sounds great. I will make a call to Fargo that she must not expect me early."

Fargo Mulleavy was Dusty's youngest daughter. Besides Fargo, Dusty had a son, Adam, and another daughter, Charlotte "Charlie". Their father, Hopper Mulleavy, a director and producer, and Dusty have been divorced for many years. They hardly spoke to each other nowadays. Dusty's big love was her dog Cale, she always said.

I smiled to her. "Thanks, Dusty. You don't know how grateful I am."

She leaned over and patted my hand again. "Edward, it's all my pleasure. I love doing my job and I love to help you out where it's needed. I'm so grateful I got you as a 'client'. You aren't just a client, you are so much more. Family and a friend. The way you improved yourself and fought for the things that are important to you… many people should take an example to you. Being famous is one of the hardest things, and being able to find balance and keep private things private asks for a lot of courage and passion. You have that, Edward. Be proud of it, be proud of yourself."

My eyes had filled with tears. "Sorry," I muttered, whipping them away.

Dusty laughed. "Edward, don't hide. I know you're a man, but you can let your emotions free. It's not weird if you cry. People who think you're a chicken, are pussies themselves. When you feel to cry, cry. When you want to cry, cry. When you have to cry, cry. Don't give a damn shit about others."

"Jeez Dusty, you should apply for writing speeches for award shows and all," I laughed through my tears.

"I'm not that good."

"Who says that?"

She shook her head. "Smart-ass."

I shrugged my shoulders.

Dusty took a sip of her wine. "Hey, I am going to give Far a call. You will be okay?"

"Sure."

She smiled and shoved out of the booth, patting my head when she walked away.

I looked around, noticing a few people gawking at me. A few paparazzi had installed themselves in front of the restaurant. Great, there would be a lot of gossip about my tears.

Not that I read that piece of crap, and I didn't want it to affect me, but it still touched me somehow.

Especially when they wrote about Bella, too.

Yes, fact is I've never read an article about her which was 100 per cent true, but it made me growl and urging to kill some asses.

My Isabella didn't deserve this.

I stared out of the window again, not really seeing what was outside, and I realized I had to open up more. I had to tell the world what the real truth was. I didn't want people to think about Bella as a bitch or annoying girl. Of course, this time, I had to ask Bella for permission. I didn't expect here to join me with the interview, but the thought made my heart swell.

"Okay, I'm ready," Dusty said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I stood up and pulled on my black leather jacket. "What is the most read magazine around the world?"

Dusty was surprised by my question. "I think _Vogue_ or something. Why?"

"I want to give an interview, and I want the entire world to know about it. But I also don't want to loose my dignity. I want a magazine that's standing close to myself."

She was all curious now. I could see that. But Dusty was never someone to push you. "I think you should ask your sister about that. She's the magazine junkie, after all," she chuckled.

I laughed.

Hell yes Honor Rose was. It was too insane for words. She had saved an entire closet for magazines only in her New York City apartment. It were mainly music, fashion, art and film magazines.

"I think she knows which magazine would be the best."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"I wouldn't go for a fashion magazine. Vanity Fair, maybe?"

I nodded.

We walked out and were greeted by flashing cameras, a small army of paparazzi and some fans.

"Edward over here!"

"Edward, I love you!"

"Marry me, Edward!"

Those sentences I'd learned to ignore. Yes, I still signed their books, posters or whatevers, but I didn't do anything with their requests.

Fans who really asked me questions, had a better chance of getting a normal response.

I could almost sign autographs blindly after all these years. I hardly really took in what I all signed.

"Edward, have you already picked a name for the baby?"

Look, that's what I mean. That is a normal question.

I smiled up to the girl. "No, we haven't."

The girl smiled back.

"What is your name?"

"Lola."

"Lola, that's a beautiful name."

"Thank you," she blushed. "I think your fianceé is very beautiful. If I may say so she was one of the best dressed at the Oscars."

I widely smiled. "I will pass it on to her."

"You make an amazing and adorable couple as well."

"Thanks."

I looked at my watch and glanced to Dusty, who nodded.

"Okay, okay. Leave him alone now," she ordered, taking me by my arm and dragging me along to the main street.

Paparazzi and fans were still chasing us, and Dusty impatiently waved for a cab.

"To which McDonalds?"

"The one in the mall."

She nodded.

Finally, a cab pulled in and we hastily stepped in.

I tapped on my leg with my fingers, playing a melody in my head. I hadn't really worked it out, but it had been playing in my head ever since I got back home. To Bella.

The cab drove past a tattoo shop.

When I was younger, I always thought that tattoos were cool. Not that I saw myself covered up in ink, but I liked the idea of having a special thing which you would carry with you for the rest of your life. It could be a quote, a lyric or … a name.

I had heard about the stories of two people being so sure of their love to decided to get a tattoo with each other's name, but that there love hadn't been as strong as they thought, ending in a break up.

Happened to my best friend Eleazar. Dude, that guy was wicked.

But above all, he was my partner in crime and the person I trusted with all I had. You couldn't wish a better guy-friend than the person who is Eleazar Belluci. We met when we're around six, both doing audition for this movie, in London. El is from Italian-Spanish blood, but was born and had grown up in London. His older siblings weren't born in the UK.

But to come back to a tattoo, with a name…

No matter what would happen, I will always love Isabella Swan.

That is a fact.

She will always be and stay my first love and the love of my life.

Nothing or nobody can change that.

There had been many days, weeks or even months we had been apart, and there would come more.

I smiled at the thought at looking down to my chest, to the place of my heart, and seeing Isabella there.

She was after all, the owner of my heart. Only she knew the key to it, knew how to open it. She knew me. Isabella Swan knew who I was, what I needed, and still I could surprise her.

My brother Emmett already had two tattoos. The foot print of a grizzly bear in a slightly smaller version above his waistband, and a rose on the inside of his right upper arm – pointing to Rosalie of course.

Actually, I was the only one of my family who didn't have a tattoo.

Alice owned two – a foot of a cat on her left thigh and a J in medieval style on her right wrist, to Jasper – just as my youngest sister. With her twenty years, my little sister Honor Rose had two tattoos, the line "_It's my life_" on her wrist and a rain of stars on her back.

Hell, even my parents, for God's, sake owned a tattoo!

A thing I rather didn't want to think about, actually.

* * *

_Bella POV_

Alice phone chimed when we just walked into the closest McDonalds we could find, in the mall.

"They are on their way," she said, still being busy with her cell.

A smile came on my face involuntary.

Rosalie rolled her eyes next to me. "What you two have…"

I looked up the menus above the counters and realized I hadn't been to McDonalds for too long, let alone a fast-food chain.

Eventually, the girls advised me to just take it easy. So, I took the normal. A hamburger, fries and a big coke.

Man, how badly I was craving for a freaking Large Coke.

Alice and Rosalie may not be as famous as Edward, but there were always people who recognized them.

"There are some men over there," Alice whispered, looking to something behind Rosalie and me, "and they are so checking you out Rose."

Rosalie sighed.

And did what she always did when men where giving her a stare. She moved her left hand to the back of her head, pretending to fix her hair. But what she really did, was showing off her engagement and wedding ring, which shone in the light.

When that wouldn't help, she turned her wrist, showing Emmett's name, forever written on her wrist.

Plan C was calling Emmett himself.

Trust me, you don't want to get to Plan C.

I was nibbling from my fries, when Alice sighed deeply.

"Poor Edward."

"Huh?"

She motioned to the glass wall, which gave you a view in the mall.

A few people had gathered around, and already one paparazzi was here.

His beautiful bronze hair easily stood out.

Edward and Dusty moved through the crowd, he wasn't signing any autographs.

My God, did he want to torture me or something?! Over his eyes, he was wearing black Ray-Ban Wayfarers.

Hell, if he didn't know the effect it had on me to see him wearing those sunglasses. They deserved an award.

I waved over to him.

My fiancé smiled his crooked smile and waved back, which earned us the attention of people outside.

"And here I thought we could get a peaceful afternoon eating burgers and fries."

"Just don't mind them."

I had turned back again and was looking at my fries.

"You okay?" Alice asked, patting my hand.

I looked up. "Yeah."

"Life isn't easy."

"I know," I sighed.

The doors of the restaurant opened, and the screaming could be easily heard now.

Edward was walking over to us with fierce and determined steps, Dusty following him with the same pace.

Rosalie shoved a little towards Alice, giving Edward a place next to me.

As soon as he had come close enough, I reached out to grab the collar of his shirt and crushed my lips to his.

Screw everyone who was watching us.

Without breaking the kiss, Edward went to sit on the spot next to me.

Bad thing about being so pregnant is I get out of breathe earlier.

I sighed in his mouth, before he let me go.

Edward kissed my nose and rested his forehead against mine. "Thank you," he breathed over my face.

I smiled. "All my pleasure."

"I love you, Isabella Swan," he whispered and kissed my forehead.

He threw an arm around me and looked at my plate. "So, you think you have left enough to share?"

I bit my lip. I was pretty hungry, actually. "I don't know," I looked up to him. "Sorry."

"Honey, don't be. You're eating for two, don't be ashamed. I was just wondering."

"Hi brother dear," Alice beamed.

"Hey sister dear."

"I really have to pull it out of you, huh?"

"Alice," he rolled his eyes.

"So, how did it go with work?"

He swallowed.

"What? Is everything okay?"

But he wasn't meeting my eye, instead he looked over to Dusty, who had taken a seat next to Alice.

Dusty nodded towards me.

I looked to Edward again. "Edward, what is going on? What happened?" Embarrassingly, tears had formed in my eyes.

He sighed and finally looked in my eyes. "I hate to say this in a fucking McDonalds, while entire Seattle is watching, but I hate it more to keep it away from you. I have to go to New York, in a few days. I will be away for two days…"

He swallowed again. "In the…in the beginning of April I will have to go to New York again, for the _Remember Me_ premiere and promotion junkets and all. I won't stay away for long, and I will have my phone on 24/7."

I had to be strong. I just had to be.

I nodded. "I understand."

He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "You don't have to be strong Bella. I love you and I will always be with you. Wherever I am. If you really want to have me with you for your entire pregnancy, say it. Don't be afraid to say what you really think, my dear." He softly kissed my temple.

I turned my face around and searched for his lips, taking them in an urging kiss when I did.

"Let them be," I heard someone say, but I was too absorbed by this man and his too fucking marvelous lips, that I didn't really care about anything else.

When we broke apart, I told him what was on my mind. He deserved that.

Screw the fact we were in freaking McDonalds. "As long as you are with me while I have to give birth, I can live with everything else."

Edward stroked my cheeks. "I don't deserve you."

"Stop that, baby. I love you, adore you, admire you, respect you and I don't want anyone else than you. Suck it up and deal with it."

He weakly smiled.

I put my fingertips on his mouth and pulled it into a bigger smile. "That's much better," I giggled.

"You are one crazy woman," he chuckled.

"Hey, I'm going to get something to eat. Do I have to take something for you, too?" Dusty asked Edward.

He looked around. "Nah, I will go myself. You want the usual?"

She nodded.

He shoved out of the booth, squeezed my hand and walked over to the counters. While he was waiting, he looked over his shoulder every now and then, giving me funny and sexy looks.

I couldn't do anything to prevent myself from giggling and moaning which made Alice and Rosalie burst out into laughter, Dusty shaking her head at our craziness.

A few girls had taken up the courage, and had walked up to my beautiful and talented fiancé to ask him for a picture and autograph.

I looked at him being so relaxed and nice to this girls. I was so stunned by him. With everything he did, he could make me melt only more for him. I loved every piece of him. Yes, he had his bad sides, but that sides were part of the whole who made him Edward, my Edward.

Besides, everyone had bad sides. I did, too.

It didn't take long until Edward arrived back at our table.

"Something interesting Bella?"

"Huh?"

"Did you like what you saw?" he whispered in his hoarse sex voice.

I bit my lip, and nodded.

He placed the plates down on the table and went to sit next to me again. I grabbed one of his fries and brought it to his mouth.

While he was chewing, Edward had closed his eyes.

"You like?" I chuckled.

He nodded.

"Good."

Meanwhile, Alice, Rosalie and Dusty were having their own conversation. They had seen how useless it was to try to get us in too.

Once again, we were living in our own Edward and Bella bubble.

"I had forgotten how much I love McDonalds," Edward moaned in pure satisfaction.

I laughed out loud, probably earning the attention of the entire restaurant.

"What?"

"You are one crazy man. My man," and I leaned in for another kiss.

Edward softly cupped my face and took me in for a passionate, loving and sweet kiss. We both moaned into each other's mouth.

Not much later, we all had finished our food and drinks.

I even had to let out some burps from too much cold Cola. Every time I did, Edward hastily covered my mouth with his.

"If I didn't know they needed this so badly, I would smash in their skulls," Rosalie said, while we walked out of McDonalds.

Edward and I were walking ahead, arms around each other's waist.

He turned his head around. "That says Rosalie Hale, who eye fucks and touches with a certain brother of mine all the time."

"Em and I are just different."

"Yeah right Rose."

"Yes."

"Now you feel how it is to have to watch you messing around."

I laughed and kissed his collarbone.

Edward had put on his Wayfarers again and when he did he gave me his crooked smile.

"Yes Edward, you are even more sexy with them on. I know, you know, the world knows."

His smile grew wider.

We were now surrounded by flashes of camera and even more screaming. I felt fear, panic, but also possessiveness and protectiveness coming up my throat.

The thing that soothed me the most was Edward's lips on my mine. I went to stand on my tiptoes, my free hand turning his face to mine. He knew what I want, he knew that a kiss soothed me. More than his arm around me, or his big and safe hand safely around mine – although that can sooth me perfectly as well, but just not now.

Softly, he brushed his lips over mine, giving them one of the sweetest kisses ever.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Anything, anytime, anywhere."

He moved his arm from my waist to my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "We're almost there."

When we walked out of the mall, onto the parking lot, I was surprised by the huge amount of flashes and the crowd who had gathered up here.

I looked over my shoulder to Alice, Rosalie and Dusty, who were just as surprised as myself.

"Fucking shit hell," Edward murmured. "Rosalie, Dusty, please go in front. Alice, stay behind us."

Rosalie and Dusty hastily brushed past us, making the way free for us. Alice protected our backs.

"Here, I've got you two caps," Alice said, almost a whisper against all the screaming and flashes.

Edward eagerly grabbed the caps Alice gave him and put one on mine head and one on his.

Normally, I would have walked to the car with my head down and my eyes shielded with my arm.

Not now. I felt some strange sort of power waving over me. I felt myself standing above all those people with their annoying flashy cameras.

Fierce Bella had come around the corner.

"You okay?" Edward whispered, bowing his head towards mine.

"Yeah," I whispered back, kissing his cheek quickly.

Finally I got Emmett's big Jeep in sight.

Edward breathed out in relief as well.

Rosalie hopped in on the driver's seat, Alice on the passenger seat, and Dusty, Edward and I took the backseat.

When Rose hastily pulled off, almost hitting some of the hyenas, I realized I hadn't spoken one word with Dusty White. I smiled up to her, and she smiled back.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay, have my guardian angel watching over me," I smiled, patting Edward's chest. I had laid my head on his shoulder.

Edward was listening to his iPod, probably to calm him down and take him away from the sight of paparazzi.

I knew what I had to do to really sooth him, but we were not alone and in a car for freaking's sake.

"I'm really sorry for Edward's schedule, Bella. I tried my best, but he just has to be in New York at those two dates."

"Dusty, it's okay. I appreciate all the energy and efforts you put into him. You care so much for him, and I admire you for that. I'm quite a stranger in the entertainment business, but I think Edward's gifted with such a devoted agent as you. Thanks." I patted her hand.

"No, thank _you_. You are making such a difference. I have known Edward for quite a few years now, since he was around fourteen. You make him so happy, and he loves you so much. He may not be an open book, but it has been always such a pleasure and heartwarming thing to see him so happy and cheerful. You did that to him, Isabella. I know we don't know each other that well, but thanks to all his stories about you, I feel like I've known you since a long time."

I moved out of Edward's hold and took Dusty in a hug.

Edward felt the loss of my body, and came out of his haze. "Bella?"

"I'm over here, honey."

I couldn't see his face, but I felt his hand drawing soothing circles on my back.

Dusty kissed my cheek and we let go.

I laid my head back on his shoulder again.

Edward kissed the top of my head.

"How is the pregnancy going?"

I knew from Edward Dusty had three kids herself.

"Well, I'm not an expert, but I'm feeling well. I get tired and hungry fast, but I enjoy it. Although I'm quite impatient to see my little nudger after all those months. I want to know what has been in me since August."

I felt Edward smile against my head. He was probably thinking about that warm afternoon, the biggest suite of the Waldorf, Maya's birthday party, us. The day we made our baby.

"Edward told me you were due in late April."

I nodded. "Officially, yeah. It feels as if will take much shorter. I don't know if it's usual, but I have fake contractions now and then. Not really heavy, but still."

"Just be on your guard."

"Thanks."

Edward had laid his head back and had his eyes closed. I let him be. He deserved some rest.

Dusty looked over to him as well. "He worries you will give birth earlier," she told me.

"He does?"

She nodded. "I must say, Edward is hardly mistaken when it comes down on his intuition. He hates to go away from you."

I couldn't say anything.

I was amazed once again by how much Edward cared for me. For some miracle, he cared for me. I loved him only more for that.

I gave Dusty a smile and turned to Edward again, softly I drew small figures on his stomach. His mouth pulled up in a smile, so I knew he was awake.

"What'ya listening?"

He pulled out one of his ear phones for me and I pulled it in.

The sound of this man's voice was very familiar to me. "Jeff Buckley?" I questioned.

"Right in the heart Swan, hundred points."

"Which song?" I asked, pulling out his iPod from his pocket. I pressed on the scroll button.

"_Back in N.Y.C_.," I muttered.

Edward nodded.

"I don't think this song really suits the current situation, honey."

He laughed out loud.

Alice turned around on her seat. "Everything okay back there?"

"Totally," I beamed.

"Jeez Edward, what have you done with her?"

"Hey, don't blame me. Who was with her all day?"

She clicked her tongue. "Edward, we all know what you're capable of doing to my dear best friend."

My face heated up.

"Whatever. Let's come to business. Dad's birthday party tomorrow."

"We already talked about that over the phone this noon."

"Yes, and?"

"Well, I don't know what there has to be said."

Alice sighed. "You can be so numb sometimes, Edward. Just please think about a song. You know how much Dad loves to hear us play. Besides, you and Jazz together are a golden match."

"I will."

She turned to me. "You know Bella, I got this idea. Maybe…not maybe, for sure, we could go to London with the entire family, as a late present to Carlisle. After your baby is born of course. Dad has a lot of family and friends living there, just as we do. I think it's great to spend some there."

"Sounds marvelous Alice, really."

I realized I had gotten pretty tired.

Edward looked down on me. "Let her sleep, Alice. She's exhausted."

"Sweet dreams, Bell," Alice chuckled.

"Thanks," I mumbled, moving closer to Edward and closing my eyes.

Last thing I felt before I drifted into sleep, were Edward's lips on my temple.

* * *

**I know this is kind of a messy chapter. It are all plannings, you know. For Carlisle's party, interview for on tv and in a mag about Edward and Bella's love and the truth, tattoo...**

**Got 8 reviews since last post. Don't understand me wrong, I am utterly grateful by all the reviews, alerts and faves, but I would like to ask for more. **

**I'm working on some new stories, hope to get htem up as soon as possible.**

**_List of tattoos of the Cullen's:_  
****Emmett: foot of a grizzly bear above waistband, a rose on the inside of his right upper arm.****  
****Alice: foot of a cat on her left thigh, J in medieval style on right wrist.  
****Honor: quote It's my life on wrist, rain of stars on back.  
****Rosalie: Emmett on her wrist  
****Jasper: AC waved in each other over his heart.  
Edward: Isabella over his heart (That's what he will take)**

_****_

Play list:

~MGMT – Time To Pretend  
~MGMT – Kids  
~Jeff Buckley – Vancouver  
~Plumb – Cut (_beautiful song. First had it as Bella's ringtone, but thought it too dark_)  
~The Gossip – Heavy Cross  
~Tommy Reeve – I'm Sorry  
~Shayne Ward – Breathless  
~Thriving Ivory – Day of Rain  
~Owl City - Meteor Shower  
~Blue Foundation – Empty Wall 


	15. You Take Me The Way I Am

**This was really one hell of a killing chapter to write. I had it all planned out in my head, but getting it how I wanted…ain't that easy. This chapter also became much longer than I'd intended, but I don't think you guys really mind. I just couldn't cut it, and although it cost me one helluva time to get it up here – FanFiction was being just as stubborn as me and thought it funny to flip every time I tried. Believe me, I desperately want the birth to happen RIGHT NOW, but some things have to happen first. Chapter 16 is in the works, and I already know what I am going to let happen in there, and with what it will end. What would it be?? ;) Yesterday, the day I tried to put it on here, was the actual date of birth of Bella and Edward's child, that you know. April 6, 2010.**

**Since last week, you can vote for the MTV Movie Awards. I say: GO vote for Kristen and Rob, and let them win the Best Kiss golden popcorn, again. Dude, who doesn't want to see them kissing **_**off**_**-screen?**

**I can't say how thankful and grateful I am to have such an amazing, honest, super duper awesome Beta. **_**With The What Now**_**, you rock and rule! Thanks so much.**

**Many thanks to everyone who reviewed, subbed, alerted or just read this story. It means the freaking world to me. I don't know why you read this story or why you like it, but thanks.**

**Thank you **_**princessbellarose78 **_**for pointing me that pregnant women CANNOT have fish, ever. No fish for pregnant Bella, or pregnant Alice. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight-Saga, I own a crazy and weird mind.**

**And now, finally, let's begin with this 13,000+ chapter. **

_**You take me the way I am.**__**  
**_**Ingrid Michaelson – The Way I Am**

* * *

It was already late in the morning when I woke up, the sun shining through the thin curtains. With my eyes still closed, I moved my arm over to the spot next to me, only to find it empty. It was still warm, but Edward wasn't laying there anymore. Groggily, I opened my eyes and noticed a folded piece of paper laid on Edward's nightstand.

_My Beautiful Isabella,_

_I hope you slept well._

_Although I could watch you all day long,_

_duty calls. I__'__m practicing in the music room together with Jasper._

_Breakfast is in the kitchen._

_Esme and Honor would like to discuss the menu for tonight with you._

_No need to hurry, they assured me._

_Miss you already._

_I love you, and our sweet little baby in your belly._

_Forever._

_Edward._

My God. That was only a small letter, but it still made my eyes water like a tsunami. I smiled and refolded it, placing it on my suitcase.

Still in my pyjamas, I walked downstairs, something that took embarrassingly long to do. Going upstairs was worse, though.

When I walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by the delicious smell of fresh croissants and sandwiches.

Esme was making toasties.

"Smells good, Esme," I half-moaned.

She turned around. "Hey honey. Thanks," she chuckled. "Did you sleep well?"

"Very well."

"Good. Any pregnancy cravings?"

"Nothing unusual. It kicks now and then. Sometimes I feel like I have a contraction."

"Oh. I believe that's not really normal in this stage of your pregnancy. Have you talked with your doctor about this?"

"No, not yet. Our next appointment is in two days, a day before Edward will leave for New York."

Esme nodded. "I hope Edward won't be in New York when you have to give birth."

"Me neither," I opted for a slight subject change, wanting the topic to be off me, "Where all your pregnancies different?"

"Well, Emmett stayed in the longest. They really had to pull him out of me, which was sad to see. I was over the forty-two weeks. That's why he's so huge and all, I think," she chuckled.

"Sounds logical."

"Edward was very tranquil, almost scarily. Sometimes, I was afraid he wasn't alive anymore. Alice was born a little too early. I was due in another three, four weeks, but little Alice wanted to come out. With Hon I was due on Independence Day, but she came one day earlier."

I smiled.

She shoved a plate with a cheese with tomatoes toasty and a healthy sandwich towards me.

"Thanks. You're really good at making breakfast."

"Thank you. Making the same breakfast over and over for many years bores the hell out of you. Besides, my mother was queen in making meals with any sort of bread. I loved to help her. If you'd like, I could to teach you some easy recipes too."

"That would be great."

Esme smiled again.

"Shall we start with discussing the menu for tonight? I don't know if you have something in mind already?"

"Good plan. Why don't we go eat in the study? Honor's in there, too. We can discuss the menu while eating." She walked ahead of me, through the living room to get to the study. (The same room Alice had told me she was pregnant)

"Since this party is all about Carlisle, I thought it would be a great idea to make his favorite food for tonight," she proposed.

Honor was eating cereal in front of a computer she was working on.

"Honor Rose, don't get crumbs all over that computer, please."

"Mom," she sighed.

"Just warning you." Esme went to sit on the lounge sofa, leaving me to sit in a big arm chair.

"I was thinking about mainly Italian," Esme began.

Honor smiled. "Suits Dad to the nerves."

"Pasta, pizza…" I proposed.

"And Italian ice cream. My God, Italian ice cream is so delicious. This café in Tuscany earned a fortune thanks to our daily visits for ice cream."

I laughed.

I had been to Tuscany with the Cullens twice. Both Esme and Carlisle had ancestors coming from Italy, and they went to Tuscany as much as they could. Mostly they spent their time around the luxurious villa of their close friend Aro Volturi, but the family went on city trips and culture sight-seeing as well.

I remembered the many pictures hanging on the villa's walls, mainly of the Volturi children, but one contained Edward and his siblings as well. I think he was around twelve. Together with Emmett, Alice, Honor Rose, Jane and Alec he posed with a huge ice cream, tanned by the sun and in their swimwear.

"Anything else?"

"We could also make cold salads."

"Great idea. Mom, maybe you could get this Italian bread. You know from that amazing store."

Esme nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

* * *

"Babe, I got something for you," Edward whispered in my ear, while I was studying some cook books.

I shivered.

He laughed.

"Something expensive?"

"No. It isn't mine either. Here," he laid a pile of letters in front of me, all with my name, but addressed to Edward's agency.

"Why are they addressed to your agency?"

"Because nobody knows your real address."

"What are they?"

"That, my love, are fan letters."

Wait a minute. I got _fan _letters?

I had made_ one_ public appearance, and I had already gotten fan letters.

Hollywood was one sick world.

"I got a pile, too, and I thought you might want to look over them together."

I swallowed. "Sure."

"Bella, are you scared?"

"No, why would I be scared?" My voice gave me away, though.

"Honey, you don't have to be. I love you. Don't care about hate mail."

I nodded.

Edward took me to the living room and we settled onto one of the couches, the pile of letters between us.

He handed me a pile of letters; it was much smaller than his, but was still an amount that surprised the hell out of me.

Slowly, I opened the first letter.

_To Isabella Swan,_

_You maybe think it weird that I__'__m writing you a letter,_

_but I wanted to say how much I respect and admire you._

_Being the girlfriend of a world famous actor doesn__'__t seem easy, at all._

_I have been a fan of your fiancé for quite a long time now, and he__'__s definitely one of my most favourite actors EVER._

_I had heard about having him a girlfriend, and have always been very curious as to what you would look like._

_You looked really beautiful at the Oscars. Your outfit, your hair, everything._

_Edward and you are definitely the most adorable, beautiful and perfect couple in Hollywood._

_I__'__m sure you will have a beautiful baby together._

_On some site, I also read you used to write, and I hope you will publish a book one day. I__'__m already dying to read it._

_Much love, success and luck from London, UK_

_Sloane Peterson_

After I had finished reading, I kept staring at it.

Edward took my hand. "And? Is it any good?"

I looked up at him and smiled, leaning in for a kiss.

He shoved the letters between us away and moved closer to me.

After I pulled away for a breath, I laid my head on his shoulder. "I love you," I muttered.

"As I love you," he whispered back. "Can I read it?"

I nodded and gave him the letter.

While Edward read it, I had closed my eyes and took in his scent. Which deserved an award as well.

"You approve?" I joked, when I noticed he had stopped reading.

"Absolutely. This means a lot to me. More than my own fan letters. I'll send a public thank you or something."

My hold on him tightened. "You are the most caring person in the entire universe. Not only for me, for our little baby, your family and friends, but also for your fans. Bring that together with the fact that you're also the best actor and musician ever, and you are the best man in the Hollywood world."

"Well, thank you my dear."

"I'm freaking serious here, Edward."

"I know," he chuckled and kissed the top of my head, letting his lips linger there.

I felt him swallowing.

"'S up?"

"I've been thinking about something lately, something that involves you, too."

I looked up to see his face. Automatically, my heart sped up a little. "Something bad?"

"No, no. At least, I don't think so."

I kissed his throat. "Tell me," I said, lips still on his skin.

"I…I want to give an interview, in a magazine and on TV, about us. I want the world to know how amazing and beautiful you are, how you truly saved me. I don't want anyone thinking of you as a bitch or a gold-digger. I hate all those untrue headlines saying such horrible things about you. If people hear the words, the truth, out of my own mouth, I hope they'll pick my story instead of the tabloids. I know it sounds crazy and weird as fucking hell, but I just want to give it a try…"

I fell even more in love with him at his words.

My God, was this because of my pregnancy hormones or was I just really a freaking pussy in his hands? A mix of the two made me crying every time he spoke or said I love you. Quite embarrassing.

"…Only if you approve, of course. Also, I was wondering if you wanted to do it with me, together."

"That is one of the most sweetest things someone has ever done for me," I hugged him, hard.

"Watch the baby, love."

"Oh yeah, of course." I moved my hand over my huge belly. "Sorry, little angel. Mommy was a little too much absorbed by your very sweet Daddy. Sorry." Since I couldn't reach my belly with my mouth, I opted to instead place a kiss on my finger tips and place them on my belly.

Edward laughed and placed his hand over mine.

I looked up in his eyes, and couldn't look away.

"So, you're in?"

"With what exactly?"

"Too absorbed by the Daddy of your baby?"

I wasn't able to speak, so I nodded.

He turned serious again. "Do you want to do the interviews with me?"

If you had asked me a couple of months earlier, or the day after the Oscars ceremony, I would have said 'no' without hesitation.

Things were different now.

Slowly, people started to recognize me too. I became more of a public person, as much as I hate to name it like that. People knew who I was.

I also planned to go more public, be at Edward's side with everything I could. With my pregnancy I couldn't accompany him to the Remember Me press junkets and premiere, but after our baby was born and we had gotten used to being parents – something I was sure wouldn't take a while – and I would have prepared for my upcoming exams well enough.

But the hesitation to say yes was still there.

"Yes…yes," I stuttered. "I would like to."

Edward cupped my face with his hand and looked in my eyes. Searching for any doubt. "Bella, I'm not going to push you into this, okay? If you don't want to, then you don't have to"

I shook my head. "I know, Edward, I know. I really want to do the interview with you, I want to hold your hand. I'm just a little scared; I've never been on TV like that, while everyone is watching…" I rambled. "I know everybody is watching when you're on TV, but I…I don't know if I can do that. I'm sorry." I looked down.

Edward put one of his hands under my chin. "Isabella Marie Swan, you are more than I deserve, so much better. I love you with everything I am. And don't shy away from telling me the truth. I'll do the TV interview by myself, and we can do the magazine interview together. Sound good?"

I nodded. "Thank you," I whispered.

Edward smiled and enclosed me in his arms again.

We read through all the other fan letters. Some included beautiful poems or lyrics, and I even got sent clothes for the baby.

There were a few which weren't so nice, and I would be lying if I said they didn't upset me, but the many nice letters I'd gotten far outweighed the bad.

"So, how many Marry Me's did you get?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "I don't know."

"Liar."

"Hey, I'm happily engaged and can't wait to have you as mine officially."

"Are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you happy?"

"Bella, are you blind or something? I fucking love you over here. My heart, my body, my hair, my voice, my lips, my eyes, my cock…they all fucking love you. And there are no words to describe how much they love the sight of my ring on your delicate finger."

I moaned.

Before he could chuckle, I had laid a hand over his mouth. "Not funny, Edward." I felt his breath coming in pants. He was laughing, the ass.

I narrowed my eyes at him, which only made him laugh harder.

Well, go laugh and have fun, but I ain't staying here. I carefully stood up and grabbed the cook book, intending to walk to the kitchen.

Edward didn't approve my plan, obviously, since he grabbed my arm. " And where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to the kitchen."

"We aren't finished, yet."

"I think we are."

"Bella, please."

"Please what?"

"Can I spend a little more time with you?"

"Edward you practically spend every day, every hour with me. I think it's good to be on your own, too. Good practice. Besides, I have to arrange dinner for tonight, and you…you have to find some amazing songs by the evening for you to play."

He groaned. "Please?" he pouted.

I bit my lip and looked away. "Nope." I turned around.

"Wait!" Edward rushed to stand in front of me, taking my face in his hands and fiercely crushed his lips to mine. "I love you," he whispered before letting me go. He hastily walked off to the music room.

"Love you, too."

* * *

"This is freaking insane!" Edward cried out.

"What?"

We were doing groceries for tonight's dinner. Edward had gone along with Esme, Honor and me, together with Alice and Jasper.

He had stopped in front of the magazine shelf.

"Not even freaking twenty-four hours later, and the photos are already on every cover," he groaned.

I looked to where he was staring at.

Pictures of us in McDonald's yesterday dominated three covers, on two others was a small picture of us.

"Holy shit. How is that possible?"

"The low-lives become faster and faster every day. Since we're on a hit, everything is shoved apart for anything featuring us."

I looked up to see his face, which was in full anger. He had his hand in his hair.

"Well, although I don't like paparazzi, they do take sweet pictures." I grabbed one of the magazines. "I want this one."

"You want a fucking gossip magazine, who sell the bullshit of bullshit, not caring about how it might ruin people's lives?"

"I'll only cut out the pictures and then throw it in the trash immediately."

He chuckled. "Sometimes, you are a mystery to me."

"What's up here, guys? We could hear Edward's shouting in the other end of the supermarket."

Edward scoffed towards his sister, who came walking up with Jasper by her side. "We're front page news."

"What a surprise," Alice sarcastically said. "You're always front page news Edward."

He looked away.

Alice came to stand next to me. "Let me see?"

I showed her the magazine. "I think the photos are sweet."

"Hell yes they are." She looked in my eyes. "It's amazing to see how well you deal with all the Hollywood shit, Bells." She took me in a fierce hug.

"Baby on board."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," she hastily pulled away.

At the same time, we bowed to our bellies and muttered "Sorry little baby." Jasper and Edward shook their heads.

In Esme's SUV, I read the article.

_Actor and musician Edward Cullen (Crazy Heart, Remember Me, Shutter Island and guitar/piano/vocals of Vampire Heart) was spotted in a local McDonalds in downtown Seattle, WA yesterday, together with sister Alice Cullen(owner and designer of the fashion brand Silver Texas), sister-in-law Rosalie Hale, and his pregnant fiancée Isabella Swan. _

_The two were the big eye catchers of this years Oscars, March 7, and dominated many Best Dressed lists. A week later, Edward was seen in several N.Y.C. bars, drunk and without his fiancée. Was this his way of celebrating his Academy Award? Without the love of his life, who was carrying his baby? _

_It seems as if Edward and Isabella have found each other again though, because paparazzi spotted them holding hands while going to several doctor__'__s appointments and a pregnancy yoga class in Seattle._

_Earlier in the day, Edward had had lunch with agent Dusty White(ex-wife of director Hopper Mulleavy). Together with White, he arrived at McDonald__'__s, under loud screams of fan girls and photographers. Isabella had been shopping with best friends Alice and Rosalie. _

_While enjoying their fries, Edward and Bella __–__ as she prefers to be called __–__ didn__'__t shy away from touching and even kissing in public. The two lovers were totally absorbed in each other, not taking up the things happening around them. When 24-year old Edward Cullen went to get his order, he couldn__'__t resist stealing tempting glances towards the woman who has captured his heart for over five years now._

_Although Bella Swan is said to be very shy and scared of paparazzi, she didn__'__t look frightened. The complete opposite!_

_More fans, photographers and reporters had gathered outside of the mall, surprising the five when they exited the mall. Edward protectively pulled his pregnant fiancée closer to him, Rosalie and Dusty shielded the front, while sister Alice took their backs and giving them caps to hide their faces._

_The entire Cullen family - besides Edward, Alice and adopted Rosalie __–__ parents Carlisle Cullen and decorator Esme Platt, baseball player and model Emmett Cullen, actress Honor Rose Cullen and Rosalie__'__s brother Jasper, seems to be in their Washington villa, since each of them has been spotted in and around northern Washington towns such as Olympia, Seattle and Port Angeles._

_Edward Cullen will head to New York City in two days for the first round of promotion junkets for his movies Shutter Island and Remember Me, to which he will go up again in the end of this month for the Remember Me premiere and promotion round 2. He will also grace the June Issue cover of Vanity Fair. _

_Edward__'__s 23-year old fiancée Bella is rumored to be due in mid-April._

_**Appearances:**_

_**The Late Show with Jimmy Fallon, April 1.(It will be recorded on March 30)**_

_**The Today Show, March 30**_

_**Ellen DeGeneres Show. Said to be aired on April 20.**_

_**Jimmy Kimmel. To air on April 19.**_

_**Remember Me, nationwide release April 1.**_

_**Shutter Island, in cinemas now.**_

"What bad things did they write about you now?" Edward asked.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Seriously? Well, that's a surprise."

"It's just an overview and report, not that bad, except parasites are called photographers in here."

Edward huffed.

We were seated in the back of the car, Alice and Jasper next to us and Esme and Honor in the front.

"I know that gossip magazines are trash and that they're annoying. I'm not saying you have to let them get away with everything, but they don't matter. You, you matter to me. Those pathetic people who think it's cool to create unrealities aren't important."

Edward lightly smiled.

I smiled back and snuggled into Edward's chest, closing my eyes in pure contentment.

* * *

After we had returned from the supermarket, I decided to phone Renee.

"Renee Dwyer."

"Hey Mom."

"Bella, is that you sweetie?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Oh my God, how are you?"

"I'm good."

"And my grandchild?"

I scoffed. "My little nudger is perfectly okay. Tomorrow I have another doctors appointment."

"That's great."

"Sorry I didn't call you that much."

"Doesn't matter sweetie. I understand. Life can be pretty time consuming."

"When are you and Maya coming?"

"I'm headed to LA in three days, and will stay there for another four. So, in a week we'll be in Forks."

"Thanks."

"You don't have to thank me for that Bella."

"I love you mom."

"Oh honey, I love you too. How are you and Edward doing?"

"It's not like before, but I'm happy. He makes me happy. I wish he could forgive himself. He's still struggling with hate and grief and anger."

"You two are made for each other, I know that. I can see it in the eyes of both of you."

I blushed slightly at her words.

"It's the truth. I'm sure Charlie has given Edward quite a hard time, and probably always will, but he knows the truth just as much as me. I'm so happy that you've found someone you can be with for forever, and that you aren't damaged after your father and I divorced. I know your fear of commitment, but that you are ready to marry Edward shows how much you love him and how much he means to you. Of course, what Edward did to you wasn't acceptable, but I can see it from his perspective. He's also made my daughter the most happy woman on earth, not only did he make you a better person, but thanks to him, you have learned to live with the fact you are unique. I can't express how thankful I am for that."

"Mom…"

"Bella, honey, don't be embarrassed."

"I just don't want to sound like some cheesy girl barely out of college."

"Bella, you have never been a young soul. That's another thing I'm grateful for. It seems you have found another old soul."

"_Renee, dinner is up!"_

"Seems someone's made dinner again."

"Don't get spoiled Mom."

My mother laughed. "Very funny Bella. I won't, trust me. Okay, I'll see you in a week. Keep strong. And say hello to the Cullens for me."

"I will. Say hi to Phil and the kids, too. Love you."

"Love you too, my middle-aged girl."

* * *

Giggles erupted from out of our mouths as we stood in the dark hallway of the Cullen mansion in Forks, waiting for the birthday guy.

Dinner was all set in the kitchen laid out as a buffet.

One thing about the Cullen family is that they love casualty. Alice's love for high heels and short dresses aside.

Most of the time they spent their time in the living room, lounging on the couches.

Although the mansion housed an 'official' dining room, they only used it for special occasions - Christmas and Thanksgiving and birthdays.

Since the Cullen kids were all grown up and had moved out, the only birthdays celebrated here were Carlisle's and Esme's. Except for a party in London or somewhere else once in a few years.

Alice had persisted on us wearing something special, but thank goodness she had kept it comfortable.

"Okay, although I know you would all rather celebrate Dad's birthday in sweatpants, I can't approve that. I picked an outfit for each of you, and they're in your rooms," she had told us an hour ago. Her tone told us not to complain.

"Now go and don't whine," Alice narrowed her eyes, looking at me in particular.

"Bella, your outfit is in the bathroom. I know you don't like to walk up the two flight of stairs."

"Thanks," I said and hugged her soft.

"But I want to dress together with Bella," Edward pouted.

His sister turned to him. "How old are you again, Edward? Just get used to the idea you won't have Bella with you every day. This is nothing compared to what you had to go through before and nothing to what will come. Now get you ass in the clothes I picked for you. The sooner you finish, the sooner you'll be with your Bella again."

Edward huffed. "Why do you always have to be right, Alice?"

"Thanks for the compliment."

Edward kissed me hard before he walked up the stairs, shoulders hanging.

Alice turned to me. "I'm going upstairs to get ready, but I'll be back in a second. You going to be okay?"

I nodded.

"Great," she beamed. "Your outfit is really fucking amazing, Bella, if I may say so myself."

I laughed and waved to her as I walked in the bathroom – one of many they had in the house.

I actually hated to admit it, but there was no denying it: Alice had outdone herself once again. She knew exactly what I liked, even if it were just in my dreams.

Neatly folded on the bathroom counter lay comfortable and stretchable looking pants with a long sleeved top, finished off with some sandals.

Stretchable clothes were an absolute must have as my belly didn't fit in any tight outfits anymore.

The tags told me the clothes were from Burberry and the sandals from TopShop.

The pants easily fitted around my huge abdomen, the shirt falling over it perfectly, the sandals feeling cool against my warm feet.

I watched myself in the mirror.

Although I was still plain Bella Swan, I liked what I saw. A knock at the door brought me out of my musings.

"It's just me, Bella," Alice soothed me, coming in.

"Oh," I breathed.

Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw me. "Didn't I tell you that you would look hot in this outfit."

"Sort of."

"Well?"

"Thanks, Alice. I love it."

"Good, 'cos I can't return it anymore."

"What?"

"You have to keep them silly."

What was it with my soon-to-be in-laws that they spent money like it was nothing? "Alice…"

"No complaining for tonight," she pointed at me. "You look fucking hot, I can see you're comfortable in the clothes you wear, so no need to whine. Understood?"

"Yes Alice."

"Good. By the way, Edward is pacing in front of this door like crazy. You're like his personal drug or something."

"I hope not."

"Too late," she laughed.

Alice smoothed her pink/salmon dress, before she took hold of the doorknob. She turned around and saw me looking. "Derek Lam," she motioned towards her dress. "And…" she lifted one of her in heels stocked feet in the air, "…you wear Burberry clothes, I wear Burberry heels," she giggled.

"Alice? Is Bella ready?" We heard someone very desperately calling from the hallway.

Both Alice and I laughed at his whining tone. "Let's not torture him any longer."

"Totally agreeing with you."

Alice opened the door, shielding me away from Edward's curious eyes. She spun him around, so that he had his back to me.

Oh, that little evil pixie.

"I knew you would look good in this," Alice commented on his outfit, tugging on his shirt.

"You always do," he said with a hoarse voice, full of impatience.

"Okay, you can ogle Bella now."

As soon as Alice let him go, he turned around.

We both gasped when we took in each other's appearances.

Edward was dressed in a dark-grey long sleeved t-shirt, dark blue/grey jeans and low top Converse sneakers.

"Fuck," I muttered.

"So fuckable," Edward brought out.

I reached out my arm to touch his face.

He didn't need another hint, taking my face to his and passionately kissed me.

"My sister is a genius, I can't deny that," he breathed against my lips.

I chuckled. "Mm. Yes, she is."

"I know you don't like us giving you presents, but Bella please promise me you won't throw away this outfit. If you do, I will save it from the trash and always keep it with me."

I laughed. "Although I don't approve you buying me presents that are more expensive than anything I've ever owned, I have it freaking big for this Burberry outfit too. Don't worry, I won't throw it away."

"Good." He kissed the tip of my nose.

Not much later, Rosalie and Emmett descended the stairs with Tristan in Rose's arm.

One look at them and you knew exactly what they had just being doing.

Tristan must be a very, very deep sleeper.

Rosalie looked stunning as always in a dark jeans legging, white tank top with birds and other figures on it, a grey blazer and beige studded open toe boots. Only Rose could look casual in this.

Emmett was dressed in blue tints. A zipper hoodie with blue print shirt and faded blue jeans, paired with Nike sneakers.

Even little Tristan had on a special outfit.

The five month old beauty wore comfy trousers, a black t-shirt with the text _Team Emmett _written on it and little Vans Eras.

"Doesn't my woman look hot?" Emmett boomed when they reached the living room.

Rosalie blushed slightly and smiled at him.

"Yeah I know, you don't have to say anything. She just makes you speechless. All mine," he whispered in her ear, nibbling on it.

"Emmett, quit that out. You've had your time with Rose just a few minutes ago, pervert. Can you just never stop it?"

"Nope," Emmett said, all smiles.

Alice scowled at him. "Em, you have to go pick up Dad. Please, please, be smooth."

"Always am."

"Keep telling yourself that, Emmett," Edward said.

"What's that supposed to mean, little bro?"

"Nothing."

"You and the nothing shit."

"Butt out guys."

"Alice, don't act like our mother. One is more than enough, I can tell ya."

Alice flipped Emmett off. "Go fuck yourself."

"I'd rather fuck my wife, if you don't mind."

"No, not again. Please, just go."

Emmett's laughter filled the house.

Rosalie handed Tristan over to Alice and went to stand in front of her husband.

Emmett froze immediately.

"Emmett Henry Cullen, my grizzly bear and monkey man, I think you should really go get your dad. You don't want to starve, right? As soon as the party is over, you will have plenty of time with me, for the rest of our lives."

Emmett looked at her with eyes full of lust. Told you Rose could give some speeches.

She fiercely pulled his face towards hers and took him in for one of their long, heated kisses.

Jasper descended the stairs as the kiss-fest continued. "Ah man, Emmett. Don't do that to me please. I know how much you fucking love my sister and all that crap, and I know how much my sister loves you, but it's still freaking weird for me to see you doing that to her, ya know?"

They were so absorbed into each other, they probably hadn't even heard him.

Jasper sighed and punched Emmett's shoulder, hard.

Emmett flinched, but didn't let go of Rosalie's lips.

"Fucker," Jasper muttered. He walked over to Alice, kissing her forehead and cooed to his nephew.

Eventually, Emmett and Rosalie needed to breathe and pulled away.

"If you don't get out of the door now, I will go call for your _real _mom," Alice almost yelled at Emmett.

"Ah, normal Alice is already a bunch of energy and emotions, but a _pregnant _Alice…" Emmett trailed off.

"EMMETT!"

"How I love to tease my little sister."

"Emmett, enough," Esme ordered from upstairs. Honor Rose came walking around the rail.

Emmett scoffed, and turned towards the door.

When he passed Alice, she stuck out her tongue.

Soon, we heard the engine of Emmett's Jeep rumble, the sound drifting away as he left the property.

"Okay, a little runway show now!" Alice clapped in her hands. She took us to the living room.

"Honor first."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the youngest."

"Is my family ever going to use a reason that has nothing to do with me being the youngest?"

Her siblings and mother looked to each other, then to Honor Rose again. "No," they said in unison.

"Great. So much for family support." She disappeared behind the counter. "Can I come in?"

"Yes."

Honor Rose walked in, clearly having the experience of a successful model.

"Honor Rose wears Alexander McQueen biker jeans, TopShop tee, Urban Outfitters jacket, topped off with TopShop flats."

When Honor had come to the end of the 'runway' she plopped down on the other side of Edward, laying her head on his chest.

He bent over and kissed her hair. Feeling my gaze on him, he turned to look at me. "What?" he mouthed.

"You're sweet," I smiled.

Edward gave me his crooked grin and pulled me closer to him.

Next was me.

"Isabella Swan is wearing a Burberry top with Burberry pants and TopShop sandals."

At the end of my turn, I wasn't allowed to settle back into Edward because he was up next.

"Edward Cullen wears a John Varvatos shirt and Diesel jeans, with Converse sneakers."

Edward quickly settled back in between Honor and me. "She's brilliant, but crazy."

"Shush."

Edward was followed by Rosalie.

"Beautiful Rosalie Hale is wearing Urban Outfitters denim legging, a Matthew Williamson top, Urban Outfitters blazer and Brian Atwood killer boots," Alice smiled.

Rosalie winked at everybody before she went to sit next to Jasper and Esme again, taking back her little boy from his grandmother.

"Emmett would have loved to see you do that Rosalie," Edward commented.

"I know. Do you think Em and I stick with sex only?"

"You mean you give each other little runway shows?" Jasper questioned.

"Yep, that's what I meant brother dear."

"Emmett Cullen has turned my innocent sister into a wicked woman."

"Emmett and I just bring out the best in each other," she smirked.

"Jazzy, your turn."

Jasper was dressed in the style Alice loved so much; jeans, a long sleeved shirt and cowboy boots.

Esme looked beautiful and hot in black Rodarte pants with cuts, Alexander McQueen heels, Matthew Williamson top and Urban Outfitters jacket.

The house phone rang not much later. Esme picked up and put in on loudspeaker.

"Okay, I'm pulling into the hospital lot," we heard Emmett mutter, putting on a voice as if he was spying on someone.

We all burst into laughter at his childishness.

Emmett slammed the door and walked over the lot. "Opening the door, walking past the desk, giving my most sexy smile to the ugly receptionists…"

"Emmett," Esme hissed.

"You know I'm right, mom."

Esme rolled her eyes, but we all knew the truth.

"Alright, coming closer to the object with every step and…stopping at the door." He took in an unnecessary deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"Here we go guys. I'll text you when we come close to the house."

The last thing we heard was Emmett's booming voice "_Hey Dad, I've been ordered to take you under my guard immediately. No complaining or defending. You will be brought somewhere. Now go get your stuff, there is no time_."

After the phone went dead, Alice rushed out of the living room.

Esme stood up. "I'm going to give the buffet a double check."

"I'll go get the presents," Honor Rose muttered in a rush, going for the stairs.

"Shall we give the music a check?" Jasper asked Edward.

"Nah, that will only make me more nervous."

I looked up to him - he looked pretty nervous.

"Are you okay?"

He looked to me and smiled. "Yeah, just don't want to fuck it up."

"Trust me Edward, you won't fuck it up. You just can't. Even if you _would, _you are still the best musician I've ever heard."

"I love you," he said, leaning in to kiss my forehead and letting his lips linger there.

"I love you, too," I muttered, sniffing his delicious scent.

Soon, everyone else entered the room again.

Honor Rose had two small presents in one hand, a bag in her other.

Everyone had bought some presents individually, along with one present we had all contributed money to.

Edward and I had bought presents together. A piece of art and two records. One of the Clash and one of the Beatles. We had sought everywhere in New York for the perfect records and painting, finding the records in London and the painting in a small art gallery in Brooklyn.

Alice was one bunch of nerves. Jasper tried to sooth her, but it didn't work much.

That was where we stood right now.

Emmett had just sent a text to Rose that they were almost there. Carlisle was beyond understanding and it had cost Emmett a moment before he could convince his Dad that there was nothing wrong with his family.

Tires on the lane, a car hitting the brakes and stopping. Doors opening and closing. Shoes on the soppy gravel, becoming louder and louder.

A key in the lock, slowly turning.

I looked to my right to see Alice staring back in excitement and Edward squeezed my hand.

Even Tristan was quiet, entranced in his mother's necklace.

"Why on earth is it so fucking dark in here, Emmett? Is everyone out?"

Emmett had opened the door by now and looked for the light switch. "Dad, take a deep breath and relax. Okay?"

Carlisle impatiently took a deep breath.

"You ready?"

"Yes," Carlisle spat.

Emmett laughed before he switched the light on.

"Happy birthday Dad."

Carlisle's face was priceless.

It was a mix between anger, impatience, shock, surprise, excitement and love.

Esme rushed to him and kissed him passionately. "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

"You threw me a surprise party?" He asked in astonishment.

Esme nodded.

The next few minutes were spent with hugging and kissing Carlisle.

"Happy belated birthday Carlisle," I congratulated him.

"Thank you Bella. You didn't need to do this."

"Well, it would have been impossible to stop Alice," I chuckled. "It was no effort, Carlisle. If anybody deserves a surprise party, it's you."

"I can't thank you enough times for being so gracious about us and sticking with us, mainly with Edward, who I know can be an annoying pain in the ass sometimes. His siblings are here to prove me right."

"I have never felt obligated. I'm thankful that you let me in your lives and I couldn't wish for more."

Carlisle pulled me in for a hug and kissed the top of my head.

I felt the electric vibe starting to increase, suspecting Edward had come closer.

I heard someone clear their throat. "Could you please release my Bella, so I can hug the hell out of you before I kiss her senseless, Carlisle?"

My cheeks involuntarily heated up and I bit my lip to suppress a moan. While Edward hugged 'the hell out of' his dad, my ache for him reached a painful level, impossible to deny.

I was sure Edward saw the pure lust and ache I had for him when he turned to kiss me senseless, because I saw his eyes darken and he let out a moan.

We both fiercely lunged for each other's lips, battling with our tongues.

I vaguely noticed that someone was tapping on my shoulder, but Edward's lips and tongue ached for my attention, which I happily gave them.

The tapping become more furious.

Suddenly I was kissing air instead of Edward's beautiful full lips.

"Aw," Edward whined, his hand rubbing the back of his head.

Alice was standing next to us, looking not so happy, her arms crossed.

"Jeez Alice, was that really necessary?"

"I don't hit my friends, so the only solution was to hit you."

Edward scowled. "Why did you interrupt us?" He circled his arm around my waist, softly stroking his fingers around the side of my bump.

It felt nice.

Alice cleared her throat, pulling me out of my Edward-induced haze.

"Bella, Esme asked if you wanted to help with dinner. Edward, Jasper asked me to tell you to come to the music room for a second," she firmly told us.

"You know Alice, this is a _party. _You are not in your office. It's supposed to be fun and relaxing, which means no interruptions from my very annoying _little _sister."

"First of all, I am your _younger _sister, not your little sister. Honor is your little sister. Second of all, I don't have an office, I have an atelier. Thirdly, this party is not about you, nor Bella or you two together," she spat back.

This felt a little awkward. "Okay, I'm going to help Esme."

Edward tightened his hold around my waist.

"I won't take long. Besides, I think dinner is almost ready to be served," I smiled at him.

"You're right. I'll go see why Jasper needs me, but I will be back at your side in a split second."

I giggled and blew him a kiss when I walked in the direction of the kitchen.

Esme only wanted to show me how everything looked.

"It smells mouth watering."

"Hell yes, it does."

"You did a good job, Bella. You have a real a talent."

"I enjoyed the cooking. And thanks."

"Just don't let my boy get spoiled, okay? Let him cook once in a while, too. I know he can cook, and I know he likes it."

"Oh, don't worry," I smiled. "I wasn't planning on letting him get spoiled."

"As an actor, he'll have days were he comes home early, and days that he'll have off. Plenty of time to make dinner for you."

I could remember the times that I came home from class to find Edward stirring pots in the kitchen, making us dinner.

That is one of my most treasured and loved memories of my life.

A confession: everything which had to do with Edward was treasured or loved.

Dinner was delicious and amazing. We chatted around and were having a lot of fun.

My stomach hurt so much from all the laughter after I had finished dinner, and not because my little nudger thought it funny to kick mommy full force. I didn't mind if it would kick, but it wasn't the most amazing feeling on earth.

When we had all eaten too much – blame the buffet thing; you always end up eating way too much with such things – came the birthday present round.

Carlisle blushed and said he didn't need any presents, that just the presence of us was more than enough, that the party was already too much, but we heavily argued he deserved it.

"Guys, this is way too much," he said, after he had opened his last present, a suit Rosalie had picked for him.

"Honey, let us spoil you for once," Esme told her husband, giving him a sweet kiss.

"Okay, okay, but let me say one thing." He stood up and grabbed his wine glass. "Thank you…"

"Dad, I don't want to interrupt you, but this wasn't everything. There is one very special surprise left for you," Alice interrupted.

"Huh?" Carlisle responded confused.

Alice looked to Edward and Jasper.

"Well, actually two. One is for tonight, the other for in a couple of weeks. We thought it a perfect idea to go to London together in a couple of weeks, after Bella has given birth, and celebrate it there too. With grandpa, John and Robin and Sian, other family, best friends etcetera. Plus, Em has his twenty-seventh birthday at the end of April, and Rosalie in mid May…"

Carlisle walked up to his daughter and hugged her. "Thank you Alice."

"Dad, I don't think this is the right moment to thank me."

He looked at her questionably.

"Your other surprise? Remember?"

Jasper came over to us and patted Edward's shoulder, who nodded.

Edward squeezed my hand and moved to get up.

I kissed his hand. "I know you can do it. No thousands of fans screaming at you."

"I think I find this much harder and more nerve-racking than when I do a concert in a stadium or something like that. This is my family, the people I care most about. People who don't shy away from criticizing me, at all," he nervously chuckled.

"No one in this room doubts your musical skills. Now go knock your dad off his feet."

"I'll try," he shrugged. He bent down to kiss my belly. "I love you, little baby."

His cool breath against my stomach made me shiver and gave me goose bumps, with the help of his words.

Edward came up again and took my face in his hands, staring into my eyes intensely.

Once again, I got lost in his beautiful and intense Emerald green eyes, which turned lightly gold towards the pupil.

"Now I can do it," he whispered, closing his eyes for a second.

I squeezed his arms, and he slowly let go and stood up.

On his way to the little stage he, Emmett and Jasper had set up this afternoon, Honor gave him a quick hug and whispered encouragements in his ear.

He gracefully stepped on the stage, where Jasper had already grabbed his guitar and, before sitting down, gave Edward a high-five

Edward took the microphone standing on the stage.

He cleared his throat before he started speaking. "Hello dear family. Dad, I hope you're enjoying this little party. If you want to thank us, you should give Alice the biggest hug of all. Without her preparing and organizational skills, this wouldn't have happened. Alice asked Jasper and me to come up with songs to sing for you. Since I heard about her request just yesterday, we didn't really have the time to come up with a good song ourselves. Dad, these songs are from us, to you. Jazz and I immediately thought of the love you and Esme share when we heard this songs. Thanks to you, I know what true love is and that eternal love is really possible. Carlisle, thank you for the love and support you have given us, although we didn't ask for it or deserved it. You were always there for us, and you still are. I love you Dad."

Edward motioned to Emmett to come up the little stage.

"Em is going to support us in this song. Mom, Dad, this one is for you." He sat down.

Jasper leaned towards his microphone. "Love Song, by the Cure, performed by Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen and Jasper Whitlock."

Emmett gave the beat and they started playing.

"Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am home again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am whole again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am young again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away I will always love you  
However long I stay I will always love you  
Whatever words I say I will always love you  
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am free again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away I will always love you  
However long I stay I will always love you  
Whatever words I say I will always love you  
I will always love you"

I had never heard Edward singing like this, but my God it turned me on.

During the song, he occasionally stole glances at me, always giving me that crooked smile I loved so much.

As soon as the song had ended, Emmett jumped off the stage to Rosalie, whispering the last line in her ear. "I will always love you."

She leaned into his chest, kissing his jaw.

The cheers and applause were deafening, even if we were just within five. It felt way more intense.

Carlisle and Esme were all smiling and beaming, tears in their eyes.

"Em, get up the fucking stage again. You're needed for the additional drums again, honey," Jasper teased.

"Shut up Whitlock. Don't treat me like an extra. Drums are very important in a song."

"I know Cullen, I know."

Emmett took his place behind the drums again, taking a swig from his beer.

Edward sat down on a bar stool too and set his microphone. "Another one for you two. This song just had to be played. Thanks to Van the Man," he finished.

Edward and Jasper stroke the beginning chords of a song that sounded familiar to my ears.

It had been played on many Cullen parties.

This was Carlisle and Esme's song; Crazy Love by Van Morrison.

I had been told the story many times by Carlisle and Esme themselves, their children and Jazz and Rose. Even Maya told me, since she had read about it in an interview.

Both Esme and Carlisle were big fans of Van the Man, just like their children. It was during a Van Morrison concert that they confessed their love to each other and shared their first real kiss, with Van playing Crazy Love in the background. That song was softly playing when Carlisle proposed to Esme, when they were out hiking in Ireland. It was that song that was playing on their wedding. It was that song when Emmett was born, and Edward, and Alice, and Honor Rose.

Crazy Love wasn't just a beautiful song with lyrics that seemed like they had been written for them and fitted them to every damn nerve. No, it was so much more.

Crazy Love was _their _song.

Next to me, Esme gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

Carlisle's smile couldn't have been bigger.

"I knew Jazz and Edward would make something special and too beautiful for words when I asked them," Alice whispered softly, her voice full of emotion.

I was too stunned and didn't want to miss the beautiful music, so I only nodded.

"I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles  
And the heavens open every time she smiles  
And when I come to her that's where I belong  
Yet I'm running to her like a river's song  
She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love

She's got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down  
And when I come to her when the sun goes down  
Takes away my trouble, takes away my grief  
Takes away my heartache, in the night like a thief

She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love

Yes I need her in the daytime  
Yes I need her in the night  
Yes I want to throw my arms around her  
Kiss her hug her kiss her hug her tight

And when I'm returning from so far away  
She gives me some sweet lovin' brighten up my day  
Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole  
Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul

She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love"

When Edward and Jasper had finished the song, everyone had tears in their eyes.

Even Emmett.

Carlisle nodded towards his sons, letting them know how much he appreciated and loved it.

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to sing another song," Edward said shyly.

"Go ahead, please."

"It's not for you. Sorry, Dad."

We laughed.

"Doesn't matter."

"Thanks." Edward went to sit on the piano stool again. Jasper patted his back and sat down on the stool next to Edward. "Bella, this song is for you my love. It's called I'm Sorry."

I felt a lump in my throat, my mouth going dry and my eyes wet.

Alice placed an arm around my shoulders and laid her head on my shoulder. She looked up to me and smiled.

Edward placed his fingers on the keys.

"I know I wasn't there

When you needed me the most  
I know I didn't care  
And was afraid to get so close  
Tonight it's getting hard to fall asleep  
'Cause it's becoming clear that I broke all into pieces  
And I can not reverse it  
So I've got one more thing to say

I'm sorry for your pain  
I'm sorry for your tears  
For all the little things I didn't know  
I'm sorry for the words I didn't say  
But what I still do  
I'm still loving you

I know I let you wait  
I've been away for far too long  
But now I can relate  
To everything that I did wrong  
Stop breathing when I think I'm losing you  
And there'll be no excuse so I'm on my knees  
So listen please  
Let me hold your hand once again

I'm sorry for your pain  
I'm sorry for your tears  
For all the little things I didn't know  
I'm sorry for the words I didn't say  
I'm sorry for the lies  
I'm sorry for the fights  
For not showing my love a dozen times  
I'm sorry for the things that I've called mine  
But what I still do  
I'm still loving you

I'm sorry for your pain  
And I'm sorry for your tears  
For all the little things I didn't know  
I'm sorry for the words I didn't say  
Sorry for the lies  
And I'm sorry for the fights  
For not showing my love a dozen times  
I'm sorry for the things that I've called mine  
But what I still do  
I'm still loving you

That's what I will always do"

Edward closed his eyes after he had sung the last line.

Quiet sobs came out of my mouth, along with silent tears.

Through my tears, I looked up to see the man that literally and figuratively owned me.

Every day, he amazed and surprised me. With just being him, Edward Cullen.

Every day, I fell more in love with him than the day before.

I had never thought it possible to love someone as much as I love Edward, but I do. I really fucking damn do.

People are often surprised that I have been together with the same guy since my seventeenth birthday, and believe me, I'm surprised too. It's just that I can't imagine a life without Edward, and I know that is terribly and dangerously wrong.

I know it can go wrong very easily.

But I also know that my love for Edward is solid and strong, and that his love for me is just the same.

At that moment, nothing on the world mattered to me, except for Edward.

It seemed as if everything else around me disappeared, and all I saw was him.

He came walking up to me, love and lust shining clearly in his tear filled eyes.

Softly, he took my face in his hands and kissed me.

Everything I felt for him, I told him with this kiss.

For once, we didn't get interrupted or disturbed.

When he pulled away to breathe, I desperately circled my arms around him, not wanting to let him go.

Edward kissed the top of my head.

"You…you didn't have to do that Edward," I told him.

"I had to. I will never forgive myself for leaving you like I did. All I can do is show you how fucking much I love you and how much I care about you. I owe that. To you, to myself and to us."

"I don't want you to be mad at yourself," I muttered. His pain was worse than my own pain.

He pulled up my face so that he could look in my eyes. "Bella, I deserve to be mad at myself. You deserve to be mad at me. But you aren't, for some weird reason."

"You love me."

"Words cannot describe how much I love you."

"You love our baby."

Edward nodded, not understanding where I was heading to with the conversation.

"I love you. That's why I am not mad at you. Not anymore. I need you in my life and you make me happy. I couldn't ask for more than you."

"_Wuthering_ _Heights_ again?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"You are such a tease, you know?"

He chuckled.

I looked past Edward to see Carlisle and Esme looking proudly at us with adoration in their eyes.

"I think your parents want to thank you Edward," I whispered to him.

He turned his head towards his mom and dad. "Yeah."

"Edward, son, you don't know how much that meant to me. It's the best present I have ever received, except for your mother, you and your siblings having entered my life," Carlisle said, taking his son in a hug.

Esme smiled at the sight of her husband and son, and hugged Edward too. "I love you, my little boy. And I am so, so proud of you." She kissed his forehead.

"So, I think it's time for a movie!" Emmett beamed, when he came down the stairs after putting Tristan to bed.

"Good idea Em," Carlisle agreed.

"Can I pick the movie?" Honor asked.

"Hon, wouldn't it be right if Dad chose the movie? It's his party after all," Edward said.

By now, we were all lounging on the couches again. Esme and Carlisle in an embrace, Alice and Jasper intertwined, Rosalie opened her arms for Emmett – who rushed to her and almost jumped into her arms – and Edward and me. Honor had her fluffy animal lion and her dog cuddled against her chest.

"Yeah, you're right. Sorry Dad."

"What's it going to be Carlisle?" Jasper questioned.

"I've know just the thing," Carlisle sighed, and stood up, walking up to the DVD 'closet'. His eyes skimmed the many titles, until he stopped in front of one, grabbing it out of the row.

"Well?"

Carlisle held up the DVD cover.

_About A Boy._

"Didn't you do an audition for that movie, Edward?" Emmett laughed.

"Yeah," Edward answered, sounding bored.

"Why didn't you get the part?"

"I was too old."

Emmett laughed again.

"I don't know what's so funny about that Em."

"You just don't understand what's funny and what's not, you are way too serious for that."

"Sure Emmett," Edward muttered, playing with a strand of my hair, while I had one hand on my belly and one on Edward's chest.

I remember laughing really hard about the scene where the boy kills a duck by throwing an entire loaf of bread in the pond. I probably fell asleep soon after that.

"Bella? Bella?" A soft voice whispered, making me smile.

"Bella, love?"

I crumbled deeper into his chest.

"Isabella, you have to wake up for a second. I have to get you upstairs. You can sleep again in a minute."

"Mhm?"

He placed soft kisses all over my face.

I shifted my head, searching for his lips.

I heard the most beautiful sound in my universe, Edward's laugh, before I felt his lips cover mine.

"Bella, would you please open your eyes for just a minute?"

"Why?"

"Because I have to carry you upstairs?"

"But I don't need to open my eyes for that."

"Bella," Edward sighed. "Please, for me?"

I scoffed. "You are so not fair."

"Never said I was, sweetheart."

I slowly opened my eyes and Edward carefully scooped me up in my arms. "Wouldn't it be smarter if Emmett would carry me? He's very strong."

"No," Edward almost growled. "I want to carry you."

"Okay," I giggled, excited of his growl.

Emmett did walk with us, though, just to be sure Edward could make it and catch me in case anything went wrong.

On the way to the second floor, he entertained me with another bunch of crazy stories about Edward in his younger years.

"Edward was quite a diva when he was younger. Everything had to go his way, and if his suit wasn't right, he wanted a new one. Once, he had a play, and he absolutely did not like the outfit he'd gotten. Man, he was all whiney about it. No way he was going to wear _that. _Jesus, he can be such a pain in the ass sometimes."

I laughed, remembering what Carlisle had said earlier this evening. "And? Was he forced to wear that outfit after all?"

"What do you think? Smart-ass let Mom make a new one."

"You didn't!" I looked up to Edward, who was looking right ahead, in deep concentration and clearly trying to shield out his brother.

"What else could I have done? I wasn't going to spend money on a new suit and I wasn't going to wear that hideous outfit they had picked for me. Emmett makes me sound like the bad guy, but you haven't seen that suit."

Emmett waved us goodbye and kissed me on the cheek. "Sweet dreams, Bells. Don't be too soft on my little brother, okay?"

"You can trust me on that," I laughed. "Sweet dreams to you too, Emmett bear."

He smiled back before he disappeared down the stairs.

"Jesus, Emmett says I am a pain the ass, but look who's talking," Edward groaned, setting me on the bed.

Edward stepped out of his shoes, jeans and shirt, shrugged on a basic tee and pulled up the covers. "You're going to stay there the whole night? We have pregnancy yoga and a doctor's appointment tomorrow…"

I liked the sound of 'we' a little bit too much, I think.

"Bella, why are you grinning like crazy?"

"Nothing." I shook my head and stepped out of my shoes. I looked down at my pants. They felt so comfortable, but I think Alice wouldn't be so happy if I slept in designer clothes.

With that in my mind, I walked over to Edward's drawer and pulled out one of his tees – good thing for me Edward is so tall, huh? – and a pair of boxers.

"You are so not fair."

"Never said I was," I used his words from a few minutes ago. I hastily slipped on Edward's clothes before I laid down on the bed and pulled back the covers. "Hi," I beamed, scooting closer to Edward.

"Hey." He tried really hard not to burst into laughter, I could see it.

"It's okay if you laugh at me Edward. Sometimes I just do or say crazy things. Besides, I like your laugh. It's the most beautiful sound in the universe." Shit. I wasn't supposed to say that. Man, he was so going to tease me with that.

He pulled up his eyebrows.

"What?"

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yep," I smiled wider, circling my arm around his waist and snuggling into his chest.

"Okay." He didn't sound too convinced.

"You liked the party?" I casually asked, quickly giving his chest a kiss, or rather his t-shirt.

"Yeah. As long as Carlisle enjoyed it, I was okay with it. I haven't seen him so peaceful and relaxed for a long time, so I think it worked."

"It _did _work."

Edward looked past me on the nightstand clock. "It's late, you should go sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'm going to sleep, too."

"Good."

His hold on me tightened. "As much as I love the sight of your beautiful belly and the knowledge you are carrying _my_ child in there, I can't wait to cradle you to my chest and not just your stomach."

"And finally seeing our little nudger," I added.

"That, too, yes."

I leaned my head back to get a better view of him. He looked down at me, too, with a sparkle in his already stunning, bone-melting and breathtaking green eyes.

"Kiss me."

I didn't need to say that twice.

* * *

"Bella, if this trip takes too much energy of you, we could look for a yoga class closer to Forks."

"No, no. I like my class, and it's good to be out sometimes. I'd want to go to Seattle nonetheless."

"Why?"

"Jess is opening her first gallery today, in Seattle."

"I thought she and Mike had moved to San Francisco."

"They did. An affordable space in Seattle opened up for her, though, and Jess saw it as her chance. Ang and Jess' brother and sister will watch over it while Jess is in San Francisco. Once in a month, and with special occasions, she's going to come up here."

"Wow, that's great. This is what she wanted right?"

"Yeah. Since the second she got the key of the space, she couldn't shut up about it."

Edward laughed.

"What?"

He cleared his throat. "Nothing."

"Edward Cullen, are you making fun of one of my friends?" I pulled one eyebrow up.

When he looked at me, he only started to laugh harder.

"Well?"

Finally, he stopped laughing. "It's just that I know Jessica talks actually all day, that's all."

I rolled my eyes and stared out of the window.

Edward took my hand and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "Sorry."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Shut up, Bella."

"Hey, I didn't say anything."

"Yet."

"Just leave it, Edward." I changed the subject back. "Is that okay with you? To go to Jess' gallery? I'm very curious and maybe I might buy something."

"Sure."

"Thanks." I moved out of the corner and hastily kissed Edward's lips.

Before he could deepen it, though, I'd already pulled back.

Edward groaned.

At pregnancy yoga, the teacher gave me some exercises which would make giving birth easier.

One part of me was dazzled and stunned by how fast these eight months had gone, the other was thinking _fi-nal-ly._

I wasn't that surprised anymore to see a couple of paparazzo waiting for us when we left the yoga building.

We ignored them as if they were a very contagious disease and just walked on, firmly holding onto each other's hands and my free hand protectively on my enlarged belly.

Edward typed in the address of the gallery on the GPS as soon as we had settled in the car.

"You want to do the interview before or after you've given birth?" he asked, pulling out of the parking space.

I bit my lip while I was in deep thoughts. "If it would be before, when?"

"Between my New York trips?"

"That's okay with me. With you?"

He gave me his crooked grin. "Absolutely."

"Of course."

His smile grew wider. "If you don't mind I want to give the interview to Stephenie; she's always been very nice to me."

"I don't mind."

"Thanks." He leaned over to quickly kiss my temple.

The entrance of the gallery was decorated with balloons and a blue carpet. The tag above the doors said _Living the Evergreen._

We crossed the street, holding hands, and walked towards the store, Tyler Crowley standing at the entrance with flyers.

"Bella! Look at you babe." He took me in an eager hug.

"Hey Ty. How are things?"

"Good, good. With you? Is the baby being bad?"

"I'm good, too. Just feeling _huge_. The baby is being nice."

"Hey Edward, how are you doing man?" Tyler greeted my fiancé.

"Great," Edward smiled.

I looked into the gallery to search for Jess, Mike, Ang or Eric. gallery

"You know you are one hell of a lucky man, right?" I heard Tyler say to Edward.

"Hell yes I do, Tyler. Every fucking day."

"Good."

Tyler patted my shoulder. "Jess is in the room to the right. She will be so happy you're here."

"Thanks Ty, speak to you later."

"I'll be holding you to that."

On our way to Jess, we passed many familiar faces and people, including Jess' brother Dean and younger sister Alexa.

Most pieces were photographs, slightly edited; a few were paintings.

"Everything is so beautiful," I whispered to Edward, struck by the beauty.

"I know," he whispered back, kissing my temple again.

"Bella!" I heard Jessica's voice before I saw her.

In a rush, she stood in front of me and took me in a hug. "Oh my God, I am so, _so_ happy you're here. I didn't know you were coming. This means so much to me Bells," she rambled.

I smiled. "Jess, I'm so proud that you've got your own gallery."

"I know, right."

"Everything is so beautiful."

"Ah, thanks. Some photos are Ang's though. They're in the room across from this one."

"She has an own view room, too?"

"Yep. I think she's a better photographer than me, so I offered her some space, too. She's there now. Eric is going to write an article about the gallery."

"I'll go there in a few."

"She'll love that."

"Tell me about your favorites?"

"Sure." She leaded me to another 'room'. "These are my most treasured and beloved photos and paintings."

I stood still for each of them, taking a good look and reading the name tags.

I gasped when I read _Everlasting Love. Bella & Edward. 13__th__ September, 2009._

"Is this me and Edward?" I asked surprised, pointing at the photo.

Jessica blushed. "Yeah. I took it on your birthday, last September. I've made a selection of all the photos Ang and I ever made of you two. I'm planning to put it in my book for school, as well. Only if you approve, of course."

"Jess, it's…it's so beautiful."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it. I had the move and the setting up of this place, you have the pregnancy and own issues…I didn't know if you were coming or not…"

I grabbed Jess by the shoulders. "Jess, it's okay. I'm not angry or pissed. I'm so dazzled Jess."

Jess hugged me again.

"There you are," I heard a familiar voice say.

We turned around to see Mike walking over to us, followed by Edward.

Mike kissed Jessica before he gave me a hug. "Nice to see you, Bella. It's been too long."

"It has."

"She's amazing, isn't she?" Mike said, motioning to Jessica.

The two had had their issues and for quite a long time it had been an on-and-off relationship. When they got older, they realized how much fun they actually had together and how much they loved each other. They've been on for over two years now.

"Yep."

I looked up to see Edward staring at the photo of us.

"That's us, babe."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I pointed to the name tag.

"Holy shit."

"I want to have it," I muttered against the side of his throat.

"You do?"

"Yes. Do you?"

"Hell yes."

"She's made an entire file of all the photos she and Ang have ever took of us."

"Man, I need to see those."

"Same here."

We turned to Jessica and Mike again.

I bit my lip in shyness.

Edward softly nudged my side in encouragement.

"How much…how much is this photo?"

"You want to _buy _it?"

"Eh, yes."

"The actual price is $100, but because…"

"I will give you $500."

"Five hundred? Are you serious, Bella?"

"Yes."

"Oh my God. I love you," Jess hugged me again. "You know, you don't have to do that. You have been such an amazing friend to me, even if I was being a fucking bitch. The past months haven't been easy for you, and I wasn't really there for you. You don't have to pay me. See it as a present of me to you."

"Jess…" I had already grabbed my cheque book.

"No Bella. The only thing I did was taking a picture, you two are the beauty of the photo. Okay, I slightly edited it, but only to bring out the love you two had around you."

I sighed, which brought Edward to chuckle.

"Okay, okay. You win, but I will still give you the money. As a present to you and your gallery."

"Bella.."

"No Jessica."

We both laughed.

* * *

The doctor's appointment wasn't anything special.

Our baby was doing fine and luckily lying in the right position. A caesarean wouldn't be necessary, unless anything was to go wrong during the birth itself, of course.

Doctor Patrol told me that I should take into account that I wouldn't reach my due date, since I was having contractions frequently.

I had already suspected something like that.

Just another warning to be cautious and on my guard.

He also handed us a new echo photo.

Our little baby, my little nudger, was becoming more clear and real every fucking time we were here.

Even if another bunch of paparazzi was waiting for us when we retreated the hospital, the shit eating grin didn't leave.

Edward signed a couple of autographs and posed for a few pictures.

A couple of girls even asked for my autograph and pictures.

Why on fucking earth did people want _that_?

Oh, why the hell would I deny these girls some fun?

"Thanks so much," one of the girls said, with a big smile on her face.

I smiled back and shrugged my shoulders, handing back her pen. I waved and walked away from the fans, sadly I couldn't walk away from the paparazzi. Edward was standing a couple of feet away from the crowd.

"What?"

"You rock, you know that?" he said, looking over my head to the fans and paparazzi, and kissing the crown of my head.

"Well thanks," I chuckled.

"I mean, how you move around those fans and paparazzi…You just act so natural, as if it's the most ordinary thing on earth. Jeez, even I get freaked out once in a while."

"It surprises me too," I confessed, blushing slightly. "I think it's because I know my fiancé is close to my side. You make me feel confident," I told his jacket.

I felt his eyes on me.

"You are my life," he whispered against my hair.

_

* * *

_

I was drifting into a dreamless sleep, tossing from side to side and on my back all night.

It was a light sleep, and every small sound or movement woke me up.

I should have known this would happen. It always went like this.

Every time Edward was leaving for filming or promotion junkets, I always slept bad the night before his departure.

Tonight was such a night.

Edward would leave for two days to do press junkets for _Remember Me_ and talk about his role in _Shutter Island_, a movie which had been released in cinemas a couple of weeks ago.

He could have stayed in New York for the few days he wouldn't have anything, but he wanted to be at my side as much as he could. Just one day before the _Remember Me_ world premiere, he would fly to New York again and come back to Forks, and me, as soon as he could.

The shifting of the bed made me stir and I slowly opened my eyes. I felt tired and exhausted, but I knew sleep wasn't going to be my friend for the rest of the night. By the way, the morning was already on its way.

I turned to my other side and saw Edward gathering his stuff.

"Edward?" I mumbled.

He hastily turned around, surprised by the sound. "Bella?"

"Are you leaving?" I knew he would, but I still didn't want him to.

"Bella, you know I have to." He walked over to my side of the bed and kneeled down, taking hold of my hands. "And I wish I didn't. My phone will be on 24/7, and you can call me anytime, even if I am in the middle of an interview. I'll miss you every single second I'm away from you."

Those betraying tears.

"Bella, don't cry, please."

"I'm sorry. I know this is making it harder for you, sorry," I sobbed, hastily wiping away the tears Edward had missed. "I shouldn't cry about this. I mean, I will see you in two days again, it's nothing compared to those months you were in London…"

"You weren't eight months pregnant then."

"Okay, that's true. But it could have been worse. I'm sorry, I'm acting stupid."

Edward placed his hands on my cheeks and forced me to look at him. "Bella, you are _not _being stupid, at all. You hear me?"

I nodded.

"I'll text you as soon as I've landed. Call me when you're up. I can't bear those two days without being able to hear your voice."

I nodded again. "Okay. Don't forget to text me." I didn't want to go anymore berserk.

"I won't. You don't forget to call me."

"Even if I tried, I can't forget it."

"Don't try."

I shook my head, leaning in closer.

Edward slowly moved his face closer to me until his lips were just a mere space away from mine. "I love you," he whispered against them, before he kissed me. All the love, missing, anger…everything we released in this kiss.

"I should probably go now. I don't want to miss my flight. Jasper will get pretty pissed, too. He doesn't have to come with me, but he is. He has to be away from Alice, as well. I better be good to him."

"You better," I chuckled without humor. I moved my fingers over his face, stopping at the bruise under his eye that was almost invisible now. Almost.

We still hadn't talked about the Jacob issue.

"I know," he murmured, as if he could read my mind. "We'll talk about that when I come back."

"Yeah."

"Now you have to go back to sleep. You need your rest. Just as my little baby in there does," he said, laying his hand on my belly.

I bit my lip, but laid down eventually.

He pulled the covers back over my shoulder and moved his hand through my messy hair.

One kiss on my forehead, one squeeze of my hands, one kiss for my nudger, and he left.

Two days Bella, two days. Forty-eight hours, two thousand eight hundred and eighty minutes (2,880), one hundred three million and six hundred eight thousand seconds(103,680,000).

One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine…ten.

Gosh, this wasn't going to work.

I looked around Edward's room, and smiled whenever I saw a familiar object.

I felt my eyes getting heavier, before I sniffed Edward's t-shirt one more time and I was out.

* * *

**For you who wonder, ****the birthdays of the Cullens + Bella and Maya**

**Carlisle: 16th March**

**Esme: 27th October**

**Jasper: 28th November**

**Emmett: 25th April**

**Rosalie: 11th May**

**Edward: 20th June**

**Alice: 30th June**

**Bella: 13th September**

**Honor Rose: 3rd July**

**Maya: 1st August**

**N/A ****About the songs: I know three people never can get a song like **_**Lovesong **_**right, but Edward, Jasper and Emmett just used a prerecorded band to support them. Edward played the piano+guitar+vocals, Jasper the bass and guitar and Emmett the drums. With Crazy Love it's more or less the same. Well, it doesn't really matter. Let your imagination the free way.**

**With 'except for your mother, you and your siblings,' Carlisle means not the gifts he has got of them, but the fact they came into his life.**

**Play list:**

_**Van Morrison **__**–**__** Crazy Love**_

_**The Cure **__**–**__** Lovesong/Love Song**_

_**Tommy Reeve – I'm Sorry**_

_**America **__**–**__** You Can Do Magic**_

_**MGMT **__**–**__** Electric Feel**_

_**Mumford & Sons **__**–**__** White Blank Page**_

_**Semisonic **__**–**__** One True Love**_

_**OneRepublic **__**–**__** All the Right Moves **_

**Since it took me ages to write this chapter, another ages to get it up on FanFiction, and because it's a pretty damn long chapter, I would appreciate ****you to visit that little button at the bottom for a review. One word reviews are already awesome!**

**The lyrics of the songs weren't supposed to be in the middle of the page and in non-itallic, but if I put them in the same line as the rest of the text, the entire text under the songs turned itallic, too. Not cool.**

**Edward needed to sing that song for Bella. If there is one person who will never forgive Edward for what he has done, it's Edward himself. The song, the upcoming second proposal, the tattoo….he needs that, he needs to show Bella how fucking much he loves her and cares for her. He's fucking insecure, ya know.**

**So, chapter 16 will be some Yale, some New York City, some very nerved actor who misses his pregnant fiancée and doesn't want to do his press junkets but is forced by his 'PA' (sort of PA) Zafrina, Bella missing her fucking hot actor of a fiancé, and well maybe the first sneak peek to a new Cullen. I'm not a psycho, so who knows what will come?**

**If you have no interest in reading my N/As – I admit, they're pretty lengthy – all I can ask of you is just leaving a little review. For the dignity of the Cullens, and a belated surprise birthday present for Carlisle. I know he would appreciate that very, very much.**


	16. An Eclipsed Mind

**Chapter 16. An Eclipsed Mind**

**_Agent:_****A talent agent, or booking agent, is a person who finds jobs for actors, authors, musicians, film directors ect in various entertainment businesses.**

**_Manager: _****A talent manager, also known as an artist manager or band manager, is an individual or company who guides the professional career of artists in the entertainment industry. The responsibility of the talent manager is to oversee the day-to-day business affairs of an artist; advise and counsel talent concerning professional matters, long-term plans and personal decisions which may affect their career.**

**This are the definitions of 'agent' and 'manager' according to Wikipedia. Which means I kind of messed it up. Dusty is way more personal with Edward than he's with his manager Alistair McKennan. Dusty arranges Edward's audituins, film roles and interviews, mainly in the US and Canada. Alistair arranges his UK stuff, and music career. Please don't take the words 'agent' and 'manager' too close to their true meanings.**

**Thank you to those who reviewed. Thank you _princessbellarose_ for her advice on pregnancy and birth. Thank you to the internet, mainly to the site Baby Center, cos wihtout it I could have never come even a bit close to a realistic birth. Last but not least, thank you to my amazing Beta _With The What Now. _You rock.**

**Disclaimer: Stepehnie Meyer owns Twilight, I own four wannabe Ray-Ban Wayfarers.**

_"I wish you were here, but you're not here, you're there. And there doesn't know how lucky it is."_  
**~Anonymous**

_"It's time, it's time, it's time."  
_**~Alice Cullen, New Moon(movie)**

**

* * *

****BPOV**

It would be a lie if I said it didn't bother me that Edward was in New York right now. Without me.

Okay, Dusty was with him, and Jasper, but I still wanted him with me.

Another thing was that I felt like giving birth right now.

It wasn't that my water had broken; I just had contractions a lot. One time, I even thought I'd gone into labor. False alarm, though.

Alice had decided to not go to New York till I had given birth, and Rosalie had come over from Vancouver once again.

Emmett had to do a shoot somewhere in northern California, but would come to Forks as soon as possible.

Honor was in LA, and she would be on the cover of _Vanity Fair_ anytime soon (the issue before Edward's).

So here I was, with Alice, Rosalie and Esme. Tristan was asleep in Rosalie and Emmett's room.

We were sitting in the living room, eating too much Ben & Jerry's than was good for us.

"You know Bella, I think now is a good time to discuss your wedding."

I choked. "What?! The wedding is in August. Four more months." First I had to give birth and do my exams, then I would think about the wedding.

"Well, I think it's quite smart to already look for wedding dresses and all. I've already gotten my bridesmaid dress."

I'd let Alice be my bridesmaid, but I actually wanted her to be my maid of honor. She was so much more than a friend. My best friend and my almost-sister. No one else could be my maid of honor except for Alice Cullen.

All I had to do was build up the courage to ask her. That would take some time.

"You did what?!"

"Relax, Bella. I was in London a few months ago, and I saw this _amazing _dress. I just had to wear that to the wedding. The only thing was, they didn't have it in the right size, so I got an appointment with the designer himself. Together, we made it fit," she shrugged, with a smile on her face.

"Who are we talking about?"

She sighed, the smile disappearing. "The late Alexander McQueen."

"Oh."

I'd met Alexander McQueen himself once. Alice had dragged me to one of his runway shows, and I had to say I loved his creations. Afterwards, she showed her VIP card and got us backstage. He had been her mentor of sorts during her Central Saint Martins years. Alice had worked for Alexander McQueen, Burberry, Vivienne Westwood and Matthew Williamson. She had to find her own style and taste.

Every collection of Silver Texas was different, but still it was the same brand every time.

"I still can't believe he's dead."

"Me neither." He had been a very nice and cool guy when we'd spoken to him.

"Have you taken a look at dresses?"

"No."

"Bella! I really don't want to force you into things, but if you don't go and look for a dress anytime soon, I might get you one. Whether you like it or not."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Funny," she said sarcastically.

"Couldn't resist it."

"When we're back in New York, we will go look for dresses, okay?"

"Okay."

"Do you really have no idea at all of what you want?"

"I don't want a very puffed up one. Simple but elegant, and safe. If there is one thing I never want to do, it's fall on my face on my way to marry the most beautiful, amazing, caring, awesome man in the world."

Rosalie and Alice laughed. Esme had got a call from one of her clients, and had gone to her office.

"Don't worry, Bella. I won't let that happen to you."

"Thanks."

A spoon full of Ben & Jerry's had just entered my mouth when my cell rang.

Alice grabbed it and took up. "This is Bella's cell, Alice Cullen speaking."

The person on the other side of the line said something.

"Oh," Alice brought out. "Of course sir, I will give her to you." She laid a hand over the phone. "Finished?"

I hastily swallowed and whipped my mouth. "Yep."

"Yale," she said, while passing me the phone.

"Isabella Marie Swan?"

"Yes."

"This is Charles Caulfield, Yale counsellor of the minors."

"Hello."

"I'm aware of your unusual circumstances, but I hope you haven't forgotten the date of the exams?" he questioned.

In the free time I'd left, between doting over my little nudger and being absorbed by my too amazing fiancé, I was also a Yale student in the last year of her education. School was very important to me. Yale had cost me a lot of money, and I hate to admit: money of the Cullen's too.

"No, sir, I haven't."

"Good. Your tutor told me about your excellent marks and notes you have gathered over the years."

My personal tutor and advisor was Mary Wilkins, a bewildered crazy woman. Most important, she was a good support and help.

"We have been pleased by the fact you still hand in your assignments and do your tests, although you aren't in New Haven itself."

"I take my education very seriously, sir."

"We have noticed that, yes. Have you also watched the digital lessons on our site?"

"Yes, I did."

"Very good, very good, miss Swan. Now, your teachers have set up a program for you, so you will be perfectly prepared for the exams in two-and-a-half months time. It would be appreciated if it would be picked up. Is that possible?"

"Well first of all, thank you for all your efforts. I'm afraid I can't come myself, but my fiancé is in New York City at the moment. Can he pick it up? He has been to Yale, as well."

"Of course, of course."

"I'll call and tell him. Is there any specific time?"

"No, not at all."

"Alright. Thank you very much, Mr Caulfield. Edward will come by soon."

"All my pleasure Miss Swan. Oh, and I know this may sound really weird from out of my mouth, but my daughters are a big fan of your fiancé, you see…"

I laughed. "Don't worry. I've heard such things before."

Mister Caulfield chuckled nervously. "My oldest daughter always goes on and on about what an amazing couple the two of you make, and that she has peace with the fact he's taken. She can see how good you are for him…"

"Well, thank her for us, Mr Caulfield."

"I will."

"What's her name?"

"Sara. My youngest is named Phoebe."

"I'll try to remember them."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

"We have all the faith in you, Isabella."

"Thank you."

"See you at the graduation."

"I hope so, Mr Caulfield."

"Goodbye."

"Bye."

"That was a long phone call," Rose commented when I'd hung up.

"My counsellor at Yale," I sighed and grabbed my Ben & Jerry's again. I looked at the clock. "Do you know Edward's schedule?" I asked Alice.

"If I'm not mistaken, he'll be in his hotel room now."

I nodded.

After I'd been to the toilet, and overheard Rosalie and Alice talking about the wedding – _my _wedding – I called Edward.

He picked up on the first ring. "Is the baby coming?" he breathed down the phone.

I giggled. "No honey. I'm fine, we're fine," I looked down at my bump.

"Oh God," he sighed. "I just really…thought…birth…baby coming…me being in New York….Oh God." I could totally imagine him sitting on his hotel bed with his hands in his already untangled hair.

"Baby, I told you everything is fine. Apart from the fact your sister is torturing me with wedding questions. Seems she has found another way to torture me, since clothes aren't an option at the moment."

He laughed. "Just be honest with her, Bella. Say when she goes over the top. I gotta say, Alice perfectly knows what is good for a person, though. Most of the times," he added.

"I try to."

"Why did you call me?"

"The minor counsellor of Yale called. Could you pick up my 'homework' at campus?"

"Yeah, sure. Hold on." I heard him putting down his cell and talking to someone in the room. Probably his agent or manager. "Yes, I can do that. When?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Alright love, I'll do it for you."

"Thank you."

"All. My. Pleasure. Baby."

I chuckled.

"Hey, I gotta go. I have a show to catch."

God, how badly did I want to be at his side. I groaned. "Gosh, you have no idea how badly I want to be with you right there. Hold your hand…" I trailed off.

"Baby, please don't go there. _You _don't know how close I am to running off to JFK and catching the first flight to Seattle. Close. Very, very close."

"Okay, zipped it."

"_Edward, we really have to go now. The limo is waiting. Your co-stars are already on their way_."

He would do an interview with four of his co-stars.

Among them was his on-screen love interest, Tanya Denali.

Since Edward had returned, after the I-am-bad-for-Bella-so-I-have-to-leave-but-I-miss-her-so-fucking-much-so-I-am-going-to-get-drunk-and-numb episode, he hadn't spoken with Tanya.

All the talks and information went through their managers and agents.

To say Edward had been looking forward to seeing his co-star again was an understatement.

After Edward left to go to New York, I'd fallen into a restless sleep again and gave up on trying when I'd woken up for the thousandth time, and decided to just call Edward.

The entire flight he had been talking to me about how pissed he was to see her again, but that he couldn't be too angry at her, since she was his co-star and all.

"Good luck, honey."

"Thanks. I'll need that without you here with me…"

"Love you."

"Love you too, my Isabella. Say hi to my baby for me, will ya?"

"Of course. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

**EPOV**

"Alright whiny ass. Here, I've got you some good Starbucks coffee and bagels."

"Zafrina, you're my savior." I eagerly took one of the Starbucks cups and bagels out of her hands.

"I know. I didn't do it for you, though. All for myself. I couldn't bear to hear your whiny voice and see your grumpy face anymore."

"Thank you so much, Zafrina," I said sarcastically.

She gave me a smile.

"Okay, what's up for today?" I asked her, scooting closer to her to see the clipboard with interviews.

"Access Hollywood, E!, Entertainment Tonight, NY Mag, New York Times…some other sites and blogs…Good thing is you won't have anything for the day after 3 PM."

"Seriously?"

Zafrina nodded.

I was so happy with that I took her into a hug.

"Alright Edward, down boy."

"Sorry."

"Sure you are."

When the last reporter had walked out of the interview room, I signed some goodies to give away. After that, I was free. For an hour.

There was one interview left; a talk show interview, with four of my co-stars. Including Tanya.

I let out a deep breath.

Zafrina stood up from her chair and stretched. "You okay?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I could use some more coffee," she said. "The coffee they have here is too yuk for words."

"You know what? I'll get you Starbucks. I owe you one."

"Hell yes you do, pretty boy."

I chuckled and grabbed my leather jacket.

We took the elevator, since we were too lazy to take the stairs and we were on the twentieth floor of one of New York's skyscrapers.

Outside the building, there was a bunch of fans waiting for me.

"How the hell did they know I was doing interviews _here_?" I whispered to Zafrina, putting on my Ray-Ban Clubmasters.

"Twitter, buddy. It's all about Twitter."

"Ah," I nodded.

"If you stop screaming and squealing my ears of, I will sign your stuff and get in a picture with you," I promised to the hyper ventilating fans. Everything to stop the deafening sound.

Zafrina clicked her tongue.

"What?"

"My Starbucks is waiting for me."

I chuckled and turned around to sign posters, DVD and CD copies, magazines and other stuff about me.

Zafrina impatiently yanked me away as soon as the last fan had gotten on the photo with me.

"Jeez, I would think you're an addict Zafrina."

"Currently, I am."

We walked into the first Starbucks we passed.

"Take away?" a young employee asked.

I looked at Zafrina, pulling up my eyebrows.

"No."

While I waited for our orders, Zafrina picked out a table.

I got our coffees and strolled to the table she'd chosen, one that was looking out over the street.

Zafrina grabbed the coffee out of my hands so fast, it almost spilled over the table.

"Sorry, I just really need a caffeine shot."

I nodded understandingly.

"Ah," she sighed in contentment after she'd taken a large sip. "Just what I needed."

"When do I have to be at the studio?"

"In…," she pulled out her arm to look at her watch, "….forty minutes."

"Is it okay if I hop by my hotel first? I have to check my messages."

"If you do it fast."

"Fast is my middle name."

"Very funny Edward Cullen, very funny."

"Is there anything at all you think is funny?"

Zafrina scowled at me and slapped my arm over the table.

"Ouch."

"Don't mess with me Cullen."

We drank the rest of our coffee while a cab drove us to my hotel, the Waldorf Astoria. I'd finished my cup just before it pulled up in front of the hotel. I threw it in a litter bin, before jogging through the lobby towards the elevators, ignoring the paparazzi and fans, Zafrina following.

I took a quick shower, while Zafrina went through the last updates about the show. While I was in the bathroom, I heard a knock on the door and the opening of the door, the voices of Dusty and Alistair mingling with Zafrina's.

When I walked into the main suite, I hastily greeted the two of them, before checking the messages that were left for me via the hotel number.

None of the messages I'd gotten were important.

I just laid down the phone, when my cell phone rang. I was in such a rush to get it, I dropped it twice.

**a/n this is the same phone call from earlier, and I didn****'****t feel the need to write it in Edward****'****s POV as well. If you really want to have it in, just say.**

* * *

"Hey El, could you come over today?"

"Sure, my friend. You need Eleazar's help?"

"Hell yes I do."

"Is coming okay. Will be there ASAP."

If you didn't know Eleazar, you would think he was too mature for his age and was a teen. In fact, he was twenty-four.

At the moment I was at the house Bella and I had bought a few months ago.

The interview with my co-stars had gone better than I'd expected and hoped, and I'd avoided and ignored Tanya as much as I could and was appropriate. I'd put on a happy smile and pretended like it didn't bother me at all.

Not much later, the bell rang and I opened the door for my best friend.

"Hey man," he beamed and brought me into a hug.

"I want your opinion of the baby room."

"Ah yeah, you're going to be a big daddy in a couple of weeks," he teased.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Your kid will be so lucky." He soon turned serious, though. "Have you done it all alone?"

"Mainly. My Mom helped me with it. Casually, I asked Bella about it. I called up Maya and Renee to hear what they thought of my idea and if they knew more about Bella's taste, as well. I want to surprise her with it."

"Fucking perfectionist."

Once again, I rolled my eyes at him. That was just a thing you automatically did when you were around the wicked guy named Eleazar Belluci.

"Where is it?"

"Upstairs."

"You don't know if it's a boy or a girl, right?" Eleazar was quite scattered, too.

"Nope."

"Alright. They say yellow is always safe, but there's just something I don't like about yellow."

I chuckled. "Don't say that to Honor." Honor_ loved_ yellow.

"Oh no, I won't. Man, the one time she got really pissed at me…I've never been more scared in my life than then, even if that kid is four years younger than I am."

"Your own fault."

"I know, I know. You gotta say Honny is a little weird, though."

"You say."

"Shut the fuck up, Cullen, and don't be a smartass."

I laughed again.

Eleazar smacked my shoulder. "Cullen."

"Whiney ass," I muttered under my breath.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing." I stopped in front of the most beautiful room of the house.

When Bella saw this room, she immediately said this had to be our baby's room.

The view was beautiful. Manhattan's skyscrapers and the Statue of Liberty, large big, green trees and the Hudson River could all be seen from here. In the morning, the sun came through the windows, making the room bright and light.

The first night after we'd gotten the key, Bella and I had spent the night here.

The memories of that particular night made the room more special and beautiful than it already was.

Together with Esme, I'd picked the paint.

I'd really liked this blue-ish paint I'd seen.

"_Edward, blue can be perfect for a girl, too. Don'__t look in boxes, just pick what you think is perfect for your baby," _were her words.

I opened the door and stepped in.

Eleazar walked past me and inspected everything.

Three walls were a light blue, the ceiling a dark color like the sky, covered with stars and planets and constellations. The wall with the big window was a mix between the light blue, gold and another, slightly darker shade of blue.

When Alice and Jasper had been in New York and hadn't been searching for my drunken ass, they'd set down all the furniture I had ordered.

"Well, I think it's pretty damn beautiful Edward. I have to give you that."

"Thanks," I muttered.

"What's up, Cullen?"

"I feel like a complete dick."

"Is this about that week after the Oscars again? Dude, I know how fucking sorry you feel, how much you hate yourself…No, there is no way you can turn it back, but you must not linger in the past. There is a woman who loves you with all she fucking has. If you stay down in the past, it will drive a wedge between you. Trust me, you don't want that."

I looked out of the window.

"Cullen, I'm fucking serious." Eleazar just couldn't leave out the word 'fuck' in anything he said.

"I know. I am, too."

"Edward, what do you think your I-am-such-a-dick behavior will do? Will it make anything better? Don't think so mate."

"I'm going to propose to her again." Just as with Dusty, I blurted it out.

"Again? Isn't one time enough for you, you bastard?"

"Jeez El, you're the fucking bastard. You know I'm serious."

"Who is getting married at twenty-five? Man, don't deny it, your ring on her finger arouses you so fucking much."

"And?"

"See, you're the bastard."

"What does it make you, then? Don't go saying a ladies man or womanizer, 'cause trust me. You're not."

"No? Just because I happen to be in a band with Edward God Cullen, doesn't mean I can't get girls. I'm getting chased, too, you know."

"Are you dating anyone?"

"Not really. But hey, I've got a long life ahead of me."

"You hope."

"I'm as healthy as a horse."

"Accidents can happen to anybody."

"Cullen, how many times have I told you not to be a smart-ass?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Is _Vampire Heart_ up for some jamming tomorrow?"

When Eleazar mentioned our band, I felt my heart speeding up. I'd missed the four of us just jamming around and having fun. "Definitely. I've got to pick something up for Bella in the morning, but other than that, I'm free. Except for some interviews I've got to do spread out during the day."

"Good, I'll call Benji and Ste." Benjamin Rhodes played the lead guitar, Stefan Waszowski was the drummer, Eleazar the bass. We switched instruments frequently, but we all had one that suited us best.

In the evening, Eleazar, Jasper and I grabbed a bite to eat at one of my favorite NYC diners and went to a gig of a band we knew from our childhood.

* * *

As soon as I'd done my last interview for the two days of press junkets, mainly about Shutter Island and my 'movie history' in general, I sped off to JFK to catch a flight to Sea-Tac.

Jasper stayed behind; as much as he wanted to sit on the same flight too, he had to arrange some things for both his and Alice's work. Jasper had wanted to be a fighter when he was younger, participating in judo and karate and other martial arts sports, but had now moved on to being a photographer and graphic designer. He had established his own company, _Pixie Lights_, two years ago at the age of twenty-five.

I wasn't really taking in my surroundings when I left the plane and walked through the airport. I hadn't expected to have anyone picking me up, so I just walked in the direction of the parking lot.

The electric vibe flowing through me startled me a little. Bella wouldn't be here, right? Right?

Just to be sure, I moved up my head and looked around.

I shoved my Ray Ban Clubmasters into my hair to get a better view.

And stopped dead in my tracks, my breath stuck in my throat.

There, in the shadow of a column, was a brown haired, brown eyed, beautiful pregnant woman. The woman that ruled my universe. The woman that was pregnant with my child_._ The woman that was going to marry me in four months time.

Bella Swan.

I didn't take in the fact Alice and Esme were standing next to her, I didn't take in all the people recognizing me, I didn't take in that they were taking photos of me. All I took in was her.

She stared back at me, holding my eyes like I was holding hers.

In my head, I ran up to her as fast as my feet could carry me, but that didn't feel right. This wasn't about dominate feelings. This was about the deep and strong passion I felt for her.

Without breaking the gaze, I strolled over to her.

Our arms reached out to each other automatically, without us thinking about doing so.

I crushed her to my chest, watching out not to hurt my beautiful little baby, and took in her scent.

We didn't need words.

Just us.

"We just couldn't stop her," my mother explained their presence.

With one arm around Bella, and one around my mom – Alice walked next to Esme – we made it to the parking lot.

"How did the junkets go?"

"The usual."

Bella, Esme and Alice laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing Edward," Alice said.

I eyed her. Alice looked beautiful, as always, but she couldn't hide the sadness entirely. I softly stroked the tip of her shoulder - the only part of her I could reach.

She looked at me and smiled.

There was another surprise waiting for me at the house.

When I walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by the delicious scent of food and the sight only made me mouth water more.

I looked down at Bella in surprise.

"I'd nothing better to do," she shrugged.

* * *

"Edward," my mother started.

"Yeah?" I murmured, looking up from a script.

"Edward, I know you've already set the magazine interview for tomorrow, but I'm not sure if that's the best idea for Bella. She's so exhausted and she needs her rest. I know she doesn't want to admit it, but she really suffers under days like this, when you're away and she can't be with you because she's pregnant. Renee told me the same. Remember when we were in London? Renee came to visit Bella and keep her company. Although Bella tried really hard to be strong, Renee could see how much it hurt her. I think Bella, and you too, need some good quality time. Just the two of you for that matter. This'll be the last few days you'll have with only each other," she pointed out. Esme really cared; worry was all over her face.

I looked down. "I pushed her too much, didn't I?" Again. God, I was such a fucking asshole.

Esme sat down next to me, taking one of my hands in hers. "Edward Anthony Cullen, my sweet little beautiful boy, you did _not_ push her into this. You let her free. Bella feels bad about being so tired. Believe me, she really wants to do this interview. With you. Just not now."

"What's her opinion?" I was looking at my hands.

"You know how stubborn Bella is. She puts everyone in front of herself. You and your baby are the most important persons, things, in her entire life. Right now, she would pick your baby before you, with pain, but she would, because it's yours. She has fought for this baby, she has cried for it. The past month wasn't easy for her, but her little nudger stayed with her, she could always count on it. The thing is, if she decides to do the interview, she will exhaust herself only more, but if she chooses not doing the interview, she's afraid she might hurt you."

"She wouldn't."

"I know, but she doesn't."

Isabella, so beautiful and amazing and caring…and she didn't even know she was.

I stood up and walked to the stairs.

"I think Bella's still asleep. She hasn't slept too well these past days."

"I know," I said.

My mother smiled and returned to her scrapbook.

Esme had been right. Bella was still asleep.

She lay on her side, legs curled up, one hand laying protectively on her belly. Her beautiful wavy brown hair covered half of her face, the rest spread over the pillow. She was wearing one of my t-shirts and boxers. If possible, the fact she wore _my_ clothes made her only more beautiful than she already was.

I quietly walked over to her side of the bed and knelt down.

Her breath on my hands and face gave me goose bumps and set my body on fire.

I had to touch her. Softly, I stroked her face with my fingertips. Her rosy cheeks, her beautiful nose, her eyelids that covered her chocolate brown eyes that I could drown in, her forehead, jaw, and lastly her beautiful plump lips.

Bella stirred and blinked slowly. She was waking up.

"Hey beautiful," I whispered.

Her eyes flew open. "Jeez, you scared me Edward!" she breathed.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Not. I removed my hands from her face and dropped them on the bed.

"Hey," she whined, pulling back my hands with her own.

I chuckled, but without humor.

She noticed. "Edward, what's up?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" The panic in her voice increased.

I laid my hand on her left collarbone. "Sh," I tried to sooth her.

"Edward, tell me. Now."

I dropped both of my hands in my lap, looking out of the glass wall. I felt Bella scooping closer to me and grabbing my right hand in hers.

A small smile played on my lips.

"Edward," her voice was soft now. "Edward, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yes. You know you can tell me anything, too, right?" I turned my gaze to her.

Bella bit her lip.

"Isabella, don't hide away from me. Your pain is my pain ten times more."

She was the one who looked away now.

"I'll make a call and we'll do the interview later, when you've given birth and we're more rested."

"Edward, no…I..."

"Bella, this is what is right. Now is not the right time. We both now it, and I'm so fucking sorry I pushed you."

"You didn't push me. We decided this together. I'm sorry, too," she mumbled the last words.

"What for?"

"For being so exhausted."

"You're sorry for being exhausted? Bella, this is part of being pregnant. And believe me, if there is a thing I'm not sorry for it's getting you pregnant with our beautiful little baby."

Tears escaped out of the corners of her eyes. She pulled me to her and tightly clasped her arms around my neck. "I love you. I love you so, so fucking much," she sniffled.

"I love you, too."

Bella pulled her face from the crook of my neck and eagerly went for my lips. She moved to the other side – my side – of the bed, dragging me onto it.

Not breaking the kiss, she moved her hands away from my hair and neck towards my chest, tugging on my shirt.

I looked into her eyes and saw exactly what she wanted.

It wasn't because I didn't want to, but because I knew how tired she was that I broke our kiss – which was on the way to become something so much more.

We both panted.

"Bella…Bella…we need to stop."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to wear yourself out."

"I won't, and besides, you'll worn me out, not me myself." She started tugging on my t-shirt again, shoving it upwards.

"Bella…"

Before I could say anything more, she put her hand over my mouth. "Edward, we both want it and I'm okay with getting worn out," she grinned.

"You are a very dangerous creature, Miss Swan," I mumbled against her hand, taking it off my mouth and leaned in to close that awful gap between our lips.

"I know," she giggled, pulling my t-shirt over my head. As soon as the t-shirt was out of our way, she took my face in her hands and gave me the kiss I'd asked for.

During our building-up kiss, she went for the belt and fly of my jeans.

We both hissed in each other's mouths when the tight fabric was removed off my aching cock.

Since Bella's abdomen had gotten larger, I let her be in charge. When the pressure would get too much, she could easily change the pace or position.

There were no words for making love to Bella. There were seriously and simply no words for making love to a _pregnant _Bella, though. It was so much more intense and caring, since we had to take into account our baby in her belly.

"Have I worn you out?" I couldn't resist to ask when we'd caught our breath after one of the best love makings we'd ever had.

"You couldn't resist that, could you?" she accused me.

I bit my lip.

"You're biting your lip?" she asked, stunned.

"Eh yeah," I murmured, hastily letting my bottom lip go.

"I've never seen you do that before," she murmured, touching the place where I'd bitten my lip.

"Sure you have."

"I can't remember."

"You okay?"

"Okay? That's almost an offence. I'm more than okay. Marvelous, complete, perfect…these come closer to what I'm feeling," she said, while fitting herself in my arms.

I smiled.

Bella smiled back and carefully stroked the hair out of my face.

This was close to heaven.

* * *

"Edward, shut the fuck up now, okay?! Don't be a fucking pussy and just face those interviewers," Zafrina spat at me.

Zafrina Aksu was what you could call my personal assistant. She accompanied me to each of my press and promotion junkets, CD signs and releases. Dusty and Alistair, my manager, switched turns with award shows, premieres, conventions and festivals.

Don't think Zafrina was there to get me coffee or my laundry, though. Hell no. She would kick your ass if you asked her to do that stuff.

Her job was to accompany, support and guide me through the boring thing that is called interviews.

Okay, okay, I admit: interviews _can_ be funny. If you have to answer the same question over and over, like one hundred times, it is _not _though. And your mouth and throat have dried out in the evening.

The days I'd spent in Forks had passed way too quickly, and now I was back in New York City for press junket round two.

I was sitting in an arm chair, waiting for the next interviewer, and was totally and entirely desperate.

I wanted to see my Isabella right the fuck now. No kidding.

Tonight, I would have the Remember Me premiere and I was not in the mood to attend the fucking thing. At all.

My mates from London had come over - but had to arrange a few things first- , along Jasper who had been my support all along while I was in New York. Emmett and my parents had flown in just this afternoon and would attend the premiere as well.

All of it didn't help, though. I wasn't calmed down by their reassuring presence.

"Can't I just call Bella for one second? Please?"

"Jesus, Edward! You have a premiere tonight, and there is still a bunch of interviewers you have to talk to. You'll only make yourself more desperate when you stress out."

"Zafrina, please! Just one call."

"Thirty-one."

"Thirty-one what?"

"You called Bella thirty-one times today!"

"And?"

"Fucking daisies shit in hell, Edward! She needs her rest, you know. Being pregnant is fucking exhausting. And Alice demanded to let her rest, too. So, I am not the only bad guy here."

I sulked, even though I knew Bella did need her rest. "Sorry. Let the next one come in." I hung my head.

Zafrina sighed. "I hate you Edward Cullen, but you are one damn sweet boy. I can tell ya. And that Isabella of yours is one fucking lucky woman."

"She is, huh?" I smirked.

"Don't let it go to your head Cullen." She was standing at the door now, ready to allow the next interviewer to come in. "I'm really sorry for you, by the way. That you can't have your ultimate calmer with you. I really am."

I smiled to her. "Thanks, Zaffy. I appreciate it."

"Ruin it all over again by calling me Zaffy."

"What? I like the nickname."

"Just get ready for another interview, Eddie."

"Have you spent a helluva lot of time with my brother Emmett, or something?"

"No."

"Sure," I muttered, taking a swipe from my water bottle.

Zafrina opened the door. "Alright. Next one's up. Ten minutes, that's all you get with Edward. Think wisely. If Edward doesn't want to answer a question, he doesn't want to. Respect that. I know some of you have never heard of that word before, but it means you treat him nicely and value his privacy. He would really appreciate that, you know. "

I chuckled.

Zafrina looked over her shoulder and winked at me.

"Alright, Justen Kurtis, it's up to you," she read from her clipboard.

A young looking guy shyly walked into the interview room.

I nodded towards him and sat back in my chair.

Zafrina took her seat behind him.

The interviews dragged along.

* * *

_**[flashback]**_

"_And the BAFTA goes to…Edward Cullen for his role of Roman in Crazy Heart."_

_O-kay. Why? Why on fucking earth me?_

_Christopher Waltz deserved this BAFTA so much more than me, a young pretty actor who thought he was cool._

_I am cool, but that__'__s not the point._

"_Ed, get up the fucking stage, ass," Honor nudged my side pretty hard._

"_That hurts Hon," I rubbed my arm._

"_Edward, don__'__t be a pussy and get up there."_

_Embarrassingly, I stood up and walked up the stage of the Royal Opera House in London._

_The presenter hugged me and gave me space._

_Here I stood._

_At the BAFTAs. _

_Without my Isabella._

_I wouldn__'__t have gone anywhere away from her, but since I already had to be here in London for filming, I decided to just go._

"_Wow. __I guess I should have listened to my Mom and sisters, and should have thought about an acceptance speech. This is a really cool thing, so thank you. Thank you to the entire cast and crew, the amazing director Scott Cooper, T Bone Burnett for his amazing music, but mainly to the great Jeff Bridges, because man he made it a lot of fun to be around him. It was an honor to play your son and I wouldn__'__t stand here without you. I also want to thank my Mom, for being such a sweet and caring person, even if I don__'__t deserve it. Not to forget my two pain in the asses of little sisters, who are both here tonight. Alice, thanks for always picking the right suits for me. Thanks Honor, for telling me I _had_ to go to the audition. Hon, you own this prize too," I paused, taking in a deep breath. "They say pregnancy is a great thing and looking to your girlfriend, wife or fiancée in my case is like looking to the Light, but I don__'__t really like it at the moment. My Isabella had to stay home, because she__'__s expecting our baby. So Isabella, if you__'__re watching, this BAFTA is all yours. I love you." I nodded towards the audience and walked to the backstage area._

_Reporters had already gathered around._

"_Edward, did you expect you would win?"_

_Stay calm, stay calm. It will be over soon. "No, not at all. I was completely struck."_

_I worked my way through the photographers, interviewers and reporters, posed a little awkwardly with my BAFTA and hastily walked off._

_**{end of flashback}**_

I could do this. I could to this.

No I couldn't. I couldn't do this without Bella.

I shifted in my chair.

In just a few minutes we would go live.

I skimmed the audience for her, although I knew I wouldn't find her face.

Jasper had gone with me, knowing I needed someone who I knew and trusted, and who knew me in return.

Eleazar would come tonight at the premiere, together with my other London buddies Benjamin and Stefan.

Assistants were running all over the stage, talking with everybody and nobody.

"Mr Cullen, you have to go backstage," a young woman, with headphones, a walkie talkie and a clipboard said.

I saw the girl was terrified of me. Why? I wasn't an alien, I wasn't like Edward Siccorhands.

"Sure," I smiled.

Backstage, I patted Jimmy Fallon on the shoulder before he went to his spot.

This is it, Cullen.

"_He makes thousand and thousand of girls swoon and faint by just showing his face. When he smiles, people treat him like he'__s a God. His movies become box-office movies in a day and his CD__'__s have all gone platinum in just short time. Still, he__'__s as normal as you and I, graduated from Yale Drama School, has been together with his high school sweetheart since he was seventeen and will become a father anytime soon. Please give it up for Edward freaking Cullen!" _Jimmy announced me.

I smirked.

A production assistant nudged me and gave me the cue to go up.

I stepped around the last corner of the décor and walked up the stage of _The Late Show with Jimmy Fallon_.

I waved to the audience, barely taking in who sat there. I spotted Jasper and Eleazar –guess he was already one with what he had to arrange– sitting there, having fun. Fuckers.

I almost flipped them the bird. Almost.

I guy-hugged Jimmy and sat down.

"_How are you Edward?"_

"I've been better." I immediately went for the glass of water and took a long sip.

"_Boring press junkets?"_

"You could say that. Nothing wrong with talking about movies you've put your heart and soul into and loved to make, but answering the same fucking question over and over again is just boring."

"_Best question you got today?"_

I had to think about that for a sec. "Oh, jeez, I don't know. No wait, there was this one question, brilliant, really." I took another sip of my water. "What is your favorite animal?"

Jimmy and the audience laughed. _"Seriously?"_

"Yeah, I mean, how the hell do you come up with that? You're supposed to interview me about a movie, and you ask me about my favorite animal. You have to have freaking courage to do that…Respect, respect." Somehow, I felt as if I had just been smoking fucking weed or pot or something. I felt fucking high.

"_What was your answer?"_

"Lion."

"_Why?"_

"They fucking intimidate me. Lions look awesome. Their manes, the color of their fur…You know lions can sleep for over twenty hours a day? They hardly do anything and let the lionesses do everything. Total kings." Yes, I was really high. Zafrina and Alice would definitely kick my ass as soon as I would be done.

Jimmy and the audience laughed. _"Your newest movie _Remember Me_, which will premiere tonight, takes place in New York City. When you were younger, you__'__lived here for a time, right?"_

I nodded. _"From when I was three until I was six, seven. I live on __Staten Island, now."_

"_You do? You shouldn'__t have said that mate, I think you will get visited by an army of stalkers any time soon."_

I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders.

"_Where were you during 9/11?"_

The Twin Towers had been a part of the love I felt for New York City. For over three years, they mightily greeted me when I opened my curtains in the morning. I can't even remember how many times I asked anyone who gave me the chance to go to the Twin Towers with me, again. Every time I visited New York after we'd moved to London, I rushed to the World Trade Center as soon as I could. I spent hours looking over the Big Apple, just sitting down and listening to music. One day I went to the South Tower, the other day to the North. If I was in crazy mood, I switched from tower to tower more than once a day.

They were my favorite place in New York to visit.

Until they were grounded.

I swallowed. "I was sixteen at the time, and happened to be in New York. I'd just shot a movie here and with my entire family I was going to do a photo shoot for Burberry. We'd already done one in London beforehand. I can't explain how it felt to see those beautiful and magnificent towers being hit and seeing them crashing down. I was just glued to the ground, couldn't move…" I shivered. "The sound and sight haunted me for months."

Jimmy nodded at me, saying he felt the same. He grabbed something from out of his 'desk'. It was a CD, a male with a lion mask and a female with a lamb mask. _Vampire Heart_'s fourth studio album.

"_Yeah, Edward is not only a pretty face and actor, but he makes music as well,"_ he said to the audience. _"What I'__m always curious about is how bands or musicians come up with their album titles. One of your albums with your band _Vampire Heart_ is called _The Forbidden Love of the Lion and the Lamb_, for instance. Care to explain?"_

I smiled. "I don't know how exactly we came up with that name. We were jamming in the studio of Benji's dad in London, and it just popped in my head. My mom had been sorting through some old stuff, and found this story my youngest sister had written when she was around nine. The story was about a lion and a lamb who were madly in love with each other, but the lion wanted to eat the lamb as well. Don't ask me how on earth she came up with that. Somehow, it reminded me of me and Bella. In a good way, though," I hastily added. "The first song is called the Lion and the Lamb, too."

"_What or who inspires you and your band?"_

"Other bands, of course. Radiohead, Editors, Snow Patrol, Van Morrison, Interpol, Muse, the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Mumford & Sons, the Police…mainly British bands, but we're a big fan of Fleet Foxes, Bon Iver, America, Kings of Leon and Local Natives as well. The biggest inspiration comes from what we experience in our daily lives, people we meet…our family is a huge source of inspiration as well."

"_Pretty busy life, I hear. How do you combine your music career with your a__cting career, coming along you__'__re also a Ray-Ban, Converse and Burberry model, having walked several shows for London Fashion Week and being close with your family and engaged. Enlighten me."_

"If it wasn't that I get paid to play in movies or do shoots or runway shows, it wouldn't feel as if I was working. Everything I do, I do with passion. I wouldn't need a single dollar for it. I love to do what I do. I learn to find time for everything, and get it all balanced. I think that if something is truly important to you, you'll always find a way to do it. Always. You hear about those relationships which end because the participants don't see each other or they've got busy schedules, but I think if you really tried and really fought, it would be bearable. Sometimes, I drop scripts because I have hardly spent time with my fiancée."

Some awws erupted from the audience. I smiled.

"_Mentioning your fiancée, how do you feel about becoming a father?"_

Sue me, but I got a shit eating grin on my face. I knew I had. "I'm very excited. Shit scared, too. But I have one hell of a caring and sweet woman who'll stand by me along the way. I'm not in this on my own. I can't wait to see my baby after those months. I'm fucking curious."

"_Do you know what it'__s going to be?"_

"No. Bella and I chose to let it be a surprise."

"_Have any preferences?"_

"As long as it's healthy, I don't care if it has a dick or not."

"_You hear people who are in the bizz, too, almost preventing their children to __even dream of a career in the entertainment world. What is your opinion on that?"_

"Of course, I would warn my children of the dangers and fucked-up-ness of Hollywood, but if that's what they want, who am I to stop them? As long as they're happy, I'll support them."

"You go Edward!" Someone cheered from out the audience. Someone who was called Eleazar Belluci, also known as an ass.

I buried my face in my hands, before I faced Jimmy again.

"_You know that guy?"_

"Yeah, sadly I do."

"_Ouch,"_ Jimmy chuckled. _"You have man fans, too? '__Cause all I hear about is how an enormous female fan base you have, but never something about guys."_

Emmett always used to tease me about the fact I had male fans, too. I'm sure he would tease me about this question when we would see each other again. "I believe I do, but I don't really know."

"_Okay, let'__s come to business again. The _Remember Me_ premiere tonight. What was it that made you decide to play in this movie?"_

"Tyler isn't some perfect, pained guy, whom you pity from the first second. He fights against everyone and everything, especially his father, and including himself. He has lost his way. That's what I liked about the part. It isn't perfect and happy, it isn't another Hollywood love story."

"_You are an executive producer of the movie, as well. How come?"_

"I've been with the production of this film since a very early stage, and naturally I was engaged in the whole process. It wasn't like 'Hey, can I be an executive producer on this one?' Not at all."

"_So, tonight you have the _Remember Me_ premiere. Anything else coming up?"_

"I'll head back to my parents' house in Washington…"

"_Too much information," _Jimmy joked.

I laughed. "I'll head back to my parents' house somewhere in this country," I changed.

The audience laughed and some clapped.

"…as soon as I've had my last interview tomorrow noon. My upcoming schedule depends on when our baby will arrive, but I'll have some more talk shows, magazines interviews, post-production of Occupy Rangers, pre-production of two new movies and the start of filming of another one."

"_Another busy year?"_

"Well, I've done one movie already this year, and three more to come. Four is not really much for me, compared to last year and the year before."

"Vampire Heart_ fans are sure to be curious about this, are you planning on bringing out a new album soon?"_

"Yes!" Eleazar yelled from out the audience.

"What he says," I answered.

"_What he says," _Jimmy spoke towards the camera. He turned to me again_. "Good luck with your upcoming movies, music career, and fiancée and baby."_

"Thank you."

"_You'__re going to get married this summer, right?"_

"Yes," I nodded, grinning like a fucking crazy fool.

"_We aren'__t letting Edward go before he has showed some of his music skills." _He motioned towards a stage that had been set up earlier.

"Vampire Heart_ band mate Eleazar Belluci will accompany him."_

So that's why El had come earlier, besides the fact he didn't want to miss a reason to make fun of me.

The audience went totally crazy and cheered.

I walked to the stage and stomped to Eleazar's side, who had just come over from the audience.

"Fucker," I muttered under my breath.

"Well thank you, Cullen. Love you, too," Eleazar grinned.

We played the first song of our newest album _The Light Beyond The Sun_, which we'd released last summer. The song was called _Planets Moving To Get You._

After we had finished, Jimmy guy-hugged us. We waved to the audience and walked off.

Jimmy soon came backstage as well. "Good job, Edward," he patted my shoulder.

"Good show, Jimmy."

"Have fun at the premiere tonight."

"Thanks, mate." I waved at him and made it for my dressing-room. I hastily changed into a comfortable but good suit Alice had picked for me and drank half a bottle of water. I grabbed my stuff and walked out to the parking lot where I was about to meet Jasper and Eleazar. Together we would drive to the premiere.

The limousine was already there, along with Jasper and Eleazar leaning against the side.

Jasper just closed his cell phone when I arrived at the spot they were standing.

He patted my shoulder when I hopped in the car.

"Who were you talking to?" I knew the answer already, but hoped to get some information about my fiancée, too.

"Alice," he grinned.

Eleazar grabbed a bottle of some alcoholic drink, Jack Daniels or beer probably.

"And?"

"Al's doing great. She's watching the premiere live, she said," he chuckled.

"Jasper," I groaned. He knew what I wanted to know. I knew Alice had mentioned Bella, too.

"Bella is with her, and is doing the same as she was when you called her just before you had to go up for Jimmy Fallon. A little tired, missing you, being fucking shitting hell proud of you…that's all."

"Thanks," I said seriously. It really meant something to me.

"No problem."

My hair was a total mess by now, even worse than it usually was. Over the day, I'd drunk like fifty bottles of water and I was nervous as fuck.

In just a few minutes, I would have the Remember Me premiere.

Something I wasn't looking forward to.

I mean, I love the movie and I loved making it. I'm proud of the result, but I just wasn't in the mood for the entire circus.

I hated to admit it, but if Bella couldn't be with me, I always wished for Alice or Honor. As annoying as the two of them are, they always knew how to calm me down and fight away those stupid goddamn nerves and insecurities.

Is that something little sisters automatically do?

Alice was staying with Bella now, which I appreciated very much.

Honor had a shoot in LA and was in the pre-production of a new movie, wherein she would play the on-screen girlfriend of her real life ex-boyfriend Alec Volturi. That would become very interesting.

Another thing why I was dragging towards the premiere so much, was because I had to pose with and face Tanya Denali once again.

Over the promotion process, I had walked into her a couple of times and we also had to do some interviews together.

Reporters and interviewers had been forbidden to ask about the awkward and embarrassing situation from a couple of weeks ago.

Had that been not even a month ago? It felt like so much more.

There were always some people who thought it funny to ask about it nonetheless.

The limousine soon came to a stop, and I already could hear the screams and see the flashes of many cameras.

Eleazar and Jasper went out first, and I soon followed.

Normally, the cast would come together, but since I'd just done Jimmy Fallon and wasn't in the mood to spend any more time with Tanya Denali then I already had to, I had chosen to go on my own.

Assistants of all sorts shoved me to my co-stars.

I could see Tanya was nervous to stand so close to me.

She bit down on her lip and moved a little closer to me, posing for the photographers.

I tightened the hold on my on-screen sister, a Dutch girl who'd blown me away ever since I'd seen her audition tape.

It had been just coincidence the casting director got a hold of her. She'd been on a holiday in New York and walked into an open casting. Just for fun.

She was just what the casting director sought for and he sent over her tape to the director and me. I knew it had to be her.

It was the fact she told me she was from the Netherlands…otherwise I would have never guessed English wasn't her first language.

"You okay?" she asked me.

"Yeah, kind of."

She nodded and gave me an encouraging smile, before facing the cameras again.

I respected her only more, because this was her first movie premiere ever, and it was so huge and pretty intimidating. And here I was acting like a spoiled and whiny kid, while she acted like this wasn't scary for her.

I re-composed myself, from the outside at least, and put on my premiere smile.

The cast walked into the theatre last.

My band mates stood up and yelled my name when I went to sit down.

"Edward, we love you!" Benjamin beamed.

Stefan and Eleazar laughed.

"Edward, can I talk to you for a second." Tanya's voice was barely a whisper.

Annoyed, I turned my head into her direction.

I was sitting at the bar, at the after-party of the Remember Me premiere.

There was nothing more that I wanted than go home.

"What do you want Tanya?"

She looked around nervously. "Is this chair free?"

"I see no reservation, so yes."

Tanya narrowed her eyes at my coldness. "Edward, I'm really sorry for what I did two weeks ago."

"I don't want to hear your sorry."

"Jeez Edward, if Bella can forgive you for something much worse, why can't you forgive me?"

My blood boiled. "Don't even dare to bring up Bella like this," I growled, pointing at her with my finger. "If anybody deserves a fucking huge sorry from you, it's my fiancée. As long as she hasn't got any kind of sorry, or hasn't accepted a thing, I won't forgive you." I turned away from her. "How the fuck hasn't she got that into her fucking head yet," I muttered to myself.

I'd expected Tanya to make a comment, but it stayed silent.

I looked over my shoulder to see Tanya frozen to the spot, close to tears.

Oh fuck, as much as I disliked this woman, I didn't mean to make her _cry._

"Okay Tanya, I know I'm being fucking harsh, but you have to understand that the stunt you pulled off wasn't only about me. I know I wasn't being too smart at all, but I was still engaged. My beautiful Bella had to see this all happening. My family…my parents, Emmett, Alice, my little sister Hon…Rose and Jazz…my friends. You just can't do that to anyone. I might not have been clear about that when I was too drunk to remember anything, but you just misunderstood me. I enjoyed filming scenes with you, hanging out and watch some local bands in cafes together with our co-stars, but that's it. It has never been more than friendship. I thought I'd made myself clear about that, Tanya. I'll never leave Bella's side, she owns me. As much as a nice time we had during the fall, I don't know if I can go back to that anytime soon. I'm sorry." I took my drink and stood up.

When I walked past her, she grabbed my arm.

"Thank you Edward," she smiled.

I nodded and smiled back, walking over to where my friends were seated.

"Here he comes! The mighty Edward Cullen!"

"Shut the fuck up El. You've had one too many."

"Who the fuck cares? As if you don't get busted once in a while."

I shot him daggers.

"Sorry."

"Jeez, the end just surprised the hell out of me," Benjamin said, patting my shoulder. "My sister totally freaked out next to me. As soon as she saw the reflection of one of the most coolest buildings ever, she started shaking all over," he shivered.

"Where is Mya anyways?"

"Ladies' room."

"Of course." Stefan rolled his eyes.

"What is that supposed to mean, Stefano? Mya hardly uses make-up, except nail polish. Her collection of nail polish is beyond my understanding…"

"The thing with you, Benjamin, is you take everything way too literally."

Eleazar and I laughed, earning a scowl from Benjamin.

"My Dad's studio is free next month, by the way," he said after he had taken a swig of his drink.

Benjamin's father, Amun Rhodes, was a music producer and band manager. He'd been offered the job of being our manager as well, but had voluntary refused, saying he would rather be just a supportive father than interfering with our band life too.

Since Amun was practically the only producer we trusted to produce our debut album, he had stuck with us and produced all our other albums as well. It was fun hanging around in his studio, jamming and brainstorming.

"Dude, didn't you tell me something about coming to London in a few weeks?" Eleazar eagerly turned to me.

"Yes," I said, before taking a swig of my beer.

"Shit, man! We can go into the studio and see what we can make of it!" my best friend yelled at the top of his lungs, although we sat close to each other and were in a room full of people.

Told you he was totally pissed drunk.

Just then, Jasper walked up to us, after having talked with two guys he had modelled with quite frequently. "What's going on here?"

"_Vampire Heart_ will crash down the magic studio once again!"

"Sh, El, calm down. You know how many gossipers are in here," I pleaded him to be silent.

"Nothing better than some good buzz beforehand," he shrugged.

I rolled my eyes, scanning the room for any familiar faces.

"Have you seen mom and dad, Jazz?"

"Last time I saw them, Carlisle was talking with a guy he knew from med school and Esme was getting herself a new job for some model's apartment here in New York."

I nodded.

Mya Rhodes reappeared and went to sit on her brother's lap without hesitation. She reminded me of Honor sometimes. They were around the same age and always gave in to impulses.

Benjamin snickered, which made us laugh only more.

"What?" Mya innocently questioned. To make her brother even more embarrassed, she kissed his cheek.

"Why did I bring my little sister with me again, guys?"

"Because she would bite your head off if you didn't. That is meant literally," Stefan added.

My phone chimed and my friends gave me a look.

"Hello?"

_"Uhm hey…it's um me…Honor Rose, you know,"_ my youngest sister shyly mumbled into the phone.

"Honor?"

"Of course. It's always or Bella or Honor who calls him," Eleazar sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Don't say anything bad about two of the most important persons in my life you know," I threatened Eleazar.

_"Was that Eli?"_ Honor had a strange habit to shorten every name she came across.

"Yes."

_"He's an ass, you know."_

A very loud laugh escaped from my lips.

Everyone seated around me shot me a questionable look.

I pointed my finger to Eleazar and grinned.

"What the fuck did my sweet girl say now?" Eleazar whined.

"She's not your fucking girl, Belluci!"

"Alright, alright, calm down, Cullen. I'm not trying to make a hit on your sister, okay? No need to pull the big brother card."

I sighed and turned my attention to the conversation with Honor again.

"Is something up?"

_"No, I just wanted to ask how it went, the premiere, you know. Gosh, I so badly wanted to fucking be there at the premiere. Stupid shoot…"_

"Hon, it's okay. Wanted to have you here, too."

_"You do?"_

"Yeah," I admitted sheepishly.

_"You know you're the best big brother in the world, right?"_

"Better than Emmett?"

She hesitated._ "Yeah,"_ she muttered. _"But Emmett's cool. I'm just not as close with him as I'm with you. You just really help and support me, even if you aren't too fond of my opinion or whatever. You're not selfish."_

"Thanks Honor."

_"So, what are the reactions?"_

Honor had been one of the few people who had seen the movie beforehand.

"Most people are shocked, mixed feelings. I don't really care. I love the movie and I'm content with the final result."

_"Yep, that's what matters and counts."_

"You understand me Hon."

_"I know."_

"Will you head home to the house or are you going to New York after you're finished."

_"What do you think? I want to see my little nephew/niece as soon as possible, so I'm definitely staying. Besides, I have to be in Vancouver this week."_

"The movie with Alec?"

Honor sighed. _"He's just going to be my co-star. And no, I didn't accept the role because of him, okay?"_

"Sure Honor Rose."

_"I just confessed how much you mean to me, and then you're going to act like that again. I'll walk over to Team Emmett if you're gonna be such an ass."_

"You wouldn't," I chuckled.

I heard Honor sigh. _"Yeah, you're right,"_ she mumbled again.

Suddenly, a wave of worry and protectiveness came over me. Why was Honor so shy? "Honor, is everything okay?"

It was too long too silent on the other end of the line. "Honor? Please answer me?"

Jasper looked at me with an expression that probably mirrored mine. "What's up?" he mouthed.

I waved him off, standing up and walking to a more quiet spot.

"Honor, answer me right now or I'll seriously go crazy over here."

_"I don't know, Edward, I really don't know. I'm just so confused."_

"What about?"

_"Everything. You all seem to have found your place, your soul mate, life partner. I feel so…weird. Why don't I have someone like you have Bella, or Alice has Jasper, Emmett having Rosalie, and of course the ultimate example: mom and dad?"_

I was astonished. "Honor Rose, are you feeling unworthy of yourself?"

The silence on her side was a good enough answer. "_Like I said Edward, I don__'__t know._"

"Trust me Honor Rose Sophia Cullen, you're one of the most talented, bright, supporting, caring, unique people I've ever met. And I've met a lot of people…" I took another breath. "I'm not saying this because you're my sweet little sister, but because it's the truth."

"_Thanks Edward,_" she sniffled. Shit, she was crying now.

"You want me to come over and pick you up?" That's what my brother instincts gave me told me to do.

"_No! No way are you__ going to do that! You already have it so hard with being away from Bella. Shit, I__'__m being the whinny little sister again, aren__'__t I? Being so fucking selfish. Sorry, please forgive me Edward._"

"Honor, stop it. I'm your older brother, you're my little sister. I love you, okay? Mom and dad love you, Emmett loves you, Rosalie and Alice and Jasper, Bella, your friends, family…they all love you Hon."

"_I know. I love them too. I love you. I…I have to go now. Do a shoot. I'__ll call as soon as I__'__m at the house again, okay?"_

"Yeah, that's okay."

"_Bye_," she said, insecurity clearly in her voice still.

"You rock and rule Honor," I tried to boost her self esteem. It was a line she'd come up with herself.

She chuckled. "_You, too, Ed, you too. Say hi to your bunch of fucked up friends for me, and mom, dad, Jazz, Em, and whoever I know as well_."

"Yes ma'am."

"_Love you Edward_."

"Love you too, Honny."

I don't think I'll ever be able to really understand the struggles of my youngest sister. Like me, she's a very closed-off person. Once in a while, she'll show a piece of the hurt Honor, of the pained and insecure Honor. It's not that she wears a mask most of the times, it's just that she finds it difficult to bring out her demons. She's way too unselfish for that. Honor has always been very prone to unexpected things. Fame, stardom and paparazzi the big, big demons. I'm grateful I'm not her only big brother, that Emmett and Jasper are there for her too, but it's true: Honor and I have a special band.

The faces of the guys all read worry.

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's probably in one of her low times again," I said, settling into one of the lounge couches.

They nodded.

"Honor says hello to all of you, by the way. She called you an ass," I pointed to Eleazar, "and the rest of you a bunch of fucked up friends."

"That girl really has got it to her head," Stefan chuckled, shaking his head, trying to light the mood.

"Edward?"

I turned around to the familiar voice, to see my cousin Lilah Mae Bluefield standing a few feet away from us. She looked lovely in a short black dress.

Lilah Mae was the daughter of Camilia, the older sister of Esme. She was in between Alice and Honor, qua age, a little year younger than the first.

"Lilah Mae? Hey, how are you?" I stood up and took her in a hug.

"Good, good. Finally found my own place."

"That's great, really."

"And I hear you're going to be a Daddy any moment now. We really have spent not enough time together Edward," she accused me, slapping my chest.

"You knew Bella was pregnant, right?"

"Yeah, like duh. Everyone in the family knows. No way to get around it. But you didn't tell me the due date was so soon."

"Sorry."

She smiled at me, showing she'd forgiven me. "Do I get to be introduced to these good-looking guys." She pulled up her eyebrow.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, pulling her along to my friends. "You know Jasper of course.."

"Lilah, good to see you girl."

"Good to see you too, Texan."

"Lilah, these are my best friends and Vampire Heart band mates," I gestured to my three best friends. "Eleazar Belluci, Benjamin Rhodes-Smith and Stefan Waszowksi. The girl on Benjamin's lap is Mya Rhodes-Smith, his sister. Guys, this is my cousin Lilah Mae Bluefield."

"Hi," Lilah greeted, shaking each of my friends their hands.

"How's life?"

"Esme's gonna do my house," she beamed.

"You have a house?"

"Yeah."

"You never told me," I accused her.

"I just did."

"I didn't know you meant it that literally." Lilah Mae's mother, Esme's sister, and her husband had divorced when Lilah was just a kid. Camilia remarried again, with a much stricter and formal guy. Lil-ah, as we always pronounced her name for fun, had an older brother Sky and a younger sister named Bonnie. "Where?"

"Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe."

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

"No."

"Why there?"

"Like you even have to ask. It's the most beautiful place on earth, dude."

"They just let you live there?"

"Who do you mean with 'they'?"

"The Lake Tahoe rangers."

She sipped from her drink. "Sure," she said matter-of-factly, shrugging her shoulders. "Okay, I had to sign a contract and pay a little more than anybody would pay for that amount of space, but it's all worth it."

"And now you've hired my Mom to design the inside of your house?"

"She hired herself, kind of."

My friends and I laughed.

* * *

**BPOV**

Edward came home from press junket round 2 when I was asleep. I hadn't heard him coming home or upstairs, but when he slipped into bed, the movement woke me up.

He sighed after he'd discovered I'd woken up. "Bella, you're a disaster. What do I have to do with you?"

"Take me with you and never leave me."

"Isabella, you and I both know that can't be possible sometimes. Sometimes, life sucks."

I chuckled. "Welcome home."

"That sounds nice," he grinned, his white teeth shining in the dull moonlight.

Renee and Maya had arrived this morning and had spent the afternoon with us and stayed over for dinner.

Maya was staying at Charlie's house, sleeping in her old room. My mother thought it a little too awkward to sleep in the same house as her ex-husband and was staying over at a hotel.

The following days, I didn't do much, except doing my Yale homework and already preparing a little for my exams.

One day, the Cullens and I went to a Red Cross benefit in Olympia – no blood donation involved of course. As soon as I was in the car again, I dozed off.

* * *

Today, Edward had wanted to do some pre-recordings for _Vampire Heart_'s newest album at a studio in Seattle, which he assured me would just take a few hours, but something was off. Everything in me shrieked him to stay, and I used it all to convince him to not leave me.

I'd been having more contractions since yesterday, which were much heavier than before.

I wasn't really alarmed – since I'd have been in false labor twice – until the amount and strength increased abnormally.

I was standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, when something snapped.

Inside of me.

It felt as if someone was breaking me from inside out. I cried out.

"Ow! Ow, ow ow ow ow. Fuuuck. Edward! Edward!"

This wasn't good. I mean, I wasn't due for at least another two weeks. I hadn't had a normal baby shower yet, Alice would be so pissed if I would ruin her fun by giving birth now…

My inner rambles were shut off by the feeling of a small wave of water drowning my pajama shorts.

Fuck.

I just wet myself.

No wait, you're pregnant. Very pregnant.

Oh fuck…my water broke. My fucking water broke.

Edward came within a second, I swear to you.

"My water…it broke…our baby is coming. Our baby is coming, Edward."

* * *

**I know, I know. A cliff-hanger. Chapter 17 is basically finished, though. I only need to make it more realistic and put in some drama. It's gonna be a shorty, compared to ch 15 and this one, and will only focus on the birth and the first time the Cullens and Swans see Bella and Edward's baby.**

**For those who wonder or doubt: yes, you do can have sex while being eight months pregnant. You can have sex during your entire pregnancy, as long as you don't have any complications.**

**~FAQ's~**

**Roman is a character I made up myself. Roman is Bad Blake's son and is a drug addict. He struggles with the love he actually never had, his mother treated him like garbage and his father wasn't really around. His father is his big hero, though, and music pulls him through all the shit.**

**# Caulfield comes from the main character in _A Catcher in the Rye, _a brilliant book by the late J.D. Salinger. Holden's sister Phoebe is too sweet and hilarious for words. A recommendation.  
****# Edward's on-screen sister is me, once again. I couldn't resist it.  
****# Zafrina Aksu is called after the amazing Bora Aksu, a fashion designer. I discovered him via London Fashion Week and I'm a total addict of his creations by now. She's in her early thirties, and does NOT have any romantic feelings for Edward. Yes, she thinks he's handsome, but also very, _very_ annoying.  
****# Caden McQueen, Dusty's first assistant, is called after Alexander McQueen.  
****# The surname of Dusty's children, Mulleavy, comes from Kate and Laura Mulleavy from Rodarte.  
****# Stephenie, with whom Edward will do _the _interview, is called after his creator Stephenie Meyer.  
****# Lilah Mae Bluefield is to my amazing, sweet, fucking awesome real-life friend Rose. She came up with the name Lilah Mae ages ago, and this character is kind of my thank you gift to her.**

**Studio albums of London indie/folk/punk/rock band _Vampire Heart:  
_**- **_Undead  
_**- **_Centaurs and Unicorns  
_**- **_Brown is My Favourite Colour _(Edward Cullen supported by Vampire Heart)_  
_**- **_The Forbidden Love of the Lion and the Lamb  
_**- **_Never again  
_**- **_Can't Sleep Today  
_**- **_Beyond The Light Of The Sun  
_****All album titles are made up by myself, along most of the songs. Some songs are from a real existing band, but because I find them to fit for Vampire Heart perfectly, I use them as if they are VH's. **

**Are you up for 100 revies? Wow, 98 reviews already. Don't know why I got so much, but thank you. Tomorrow is my 1st FanFiction anniversary, so...*hint hint***

**Bring that little button out of its bored life, and give Bella(I think Edward will need it, too) the courage and support to fight her way through the painful thing that is called giving birth before she can see her beautiful little angel.**


	17. An Angel Is Born

**Chapter 17. ****An Angel Is Born**

**First of all, big enormous huge abnormal amount of thanks to the amazing site Baby Center for getting me information about giving birth and sorts.**

**Yah, I received more than 100 reviews for **_**Dating Fame **_**after chapter 16!**_** pumpkinborg **_**was the 100****th**** reviewer. Once again, thank you for those who reviewed, faved or put this story on alert. You all rock and rule.**

**To get things clear: I have no, I repeat no, experience with births **_**at all. **_**I tried my best and did research and read information about the different stages of labor. Please take this in mind. I know it's far from realistic, and I'm sorry for that. I hope it won't bug you that much.**

**Thank you to my dear beta **_**With The What Now, **_**and to **_**daddieslittledarling (**_**a.k.a. **_**princessbellarose)**_** for giving me feedback on the birth.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga, I own 9 magazines covering Kristen (including ELLE UK July 2010, which I highly reccomend. And Bella does, too, 'cos she has a subscription on the magazine)**

**p.s. Did you see the MTV Movie Awards? My God, Rob was totally beaming when Kristen won Best Female Performance + he mentioned her in his acceptance speech. And well, their Best Kiss acceptance...it was awkward, but hot. If I may say so.**

* * *

**To Renesmee Carlie Cullen,  
****the most brightest, clever, beautiful, adorable  
****fictional character I've ever read about.  
****I wish I really knew her.**

_Ten fingers, Ten toes  
She's laughter and teardrops  
So small and brand new  
And amazingly angelic  
She's sent to bless you  
She's one special Baby  
The best of life's treasure  
And will grant and bless you  
Many hours of great pleasure._  
**Author Unknown**

_Take a sprinkling of fairy dust,  
An angel's single feather,  
Also a dash of love and care,  
Then mix them both together.  
Add a sentiment or two,  
A thoughtful wish or line,  
A touch of stardust, a sunshine ray...  
It's a recipe, for a Baby Girl truly fine._  
**Author Unknown**

* * *

_**{previous}**_

_I was standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, when something snapped. Inside of me. It felt as if someone was breaking me from inside out. I cried out. _

"_! Fuuuck. Edward! Edward!" This wasn't good. I mean, I wasn't due for at least another two weeks. I hadn't had a normal baby shower yet, Alice would be so pissed if I would ruin her fun by giving birth now…_

_My inner rambles were shut off by the feeling of a small wave of water drowning through my pajama shorts._

_Fuck._

_I just wet myself._

_No wait, you're pregnant._

_Oh fuck…my water broke. My fucking water broke._

_Edward came within a second, I swear you. _

"_My water…it broke…our baby is coming. Our baby is coming, Edward." _

* * *

He eyed my soaked pajama pants and saw the pain on my face. He nodded and impatiently called for Carlisle. When he returned from the corridor, he put me down on the bed.

My breath came in pants, not because I was pushing, but because of the realization I'd just fully gone into labor. My baby wanted to be born.

Edward sat down next to me, holding my hand.

Another contraction hit me again. "Arrgh," I moaned, my back arching.

He looked at his watch, timing my contraction.

"Jesus, where the fuck is Carlisle?" he spat.

I tried to sooth him, softly making figures on his hand with my fingertips. It didn't help.

Edward jumped off the bed, sprinting towards the corridor between Honor and his room. "_Carlisle Peter Cullen!_ My Bella's water just broke! She has gone into labor and I need you right the fuck _now!_" He yelled.

He hastily came in again, taking the same place next to me. "Sorry for that."

"I understand," I weakly said, not wanting to waste too much energy. I would need it soon enough.

Carlisle's haste foot-steps sounded on the stairs.

Edward shot his father a cold glance when he walked in.

Carlisle ignored him, and rushed to my other side. "Are you still sure you want to give birth in here?"

I nodded. I didn't want my child to be born in a hospital; I'd been in hospitals too many times myself to want to ever go back there. And I also wasn't feeling much for having to get downstairs, and sitting in a car while having contractions.

He nodded. "Edward, why don't you call your doctor? I've been a doctor for a long time, but I'm not specialized in births. I'm just as nervous as you."

"You bet," Edward grumbled. He didn't move an inch.

"Edward, I'm serious. It's good to know what your doctor thinks."

"Why me?"

"Because I have to watch Bella."

"I'm her fucking fiancé! She's in labor to give birth to _my_ child! I've more the right to stay here and watch her than you!"

"Edward, this is not the time for arguments," Carlisle sternly said.

"Guys please, I'm in fucking labor here, my baby wants to get out and I have no fucking clue how long I might be in the first stage, but please don't make it any longer for me," I shrieked. I was panting again. I looked at Edward, who eyed me with pure torment. "Edward, please, call doctor Patrol."

"Bella…" he argued.

"Please, for me. Make a call, see what he thinks is best, and come back to me. Believe me, he's not going to plop out when you're gone," I cut him off, before I would give in and let Carlisle call doctor Patrol.

Carlisle gave Edward a little earphone and put in one himself. "Esme, could you put me on loudspeaker, please?"

I could hear he tried not to sound angry.

"Call Renee. Someone else please call Charlie and Maya."

"Yes, the baby is really coming. She is not in false labor," he answered a question. "As much as I appreciate your concern, it's already nerved and stressed enough. You have to wait until the baby is born. I'm sorry."

He took in a sharp breath. "Yes, I will tell them. Love you, too."

By now, I'd lost the amount of contractions I'd had and how long they each were.

Edward was on the phone with the hospital. "Hello, this is Edward Cullen. My fiancée Bella Swan has gone into labor."

"Isabella. Marie. Swan."

Edward was going to lose it.

More than fearing or hating my own pain, I feared for Edward's sake. I reached out as far as I could, softly stroking his arm – practically the only part of him I could reach.

I didn't look in his eyes, just stroking his smooth and soft skin. It soothed me, too.

"Doctor Patrol. Do I have to spell it for you? P.A.T.R.O.L. Like Snow Patrol, but without Snow."

I chuckled. "Put him on loudspeaker," I whispered.

I hadn't seen him moving his fingers, but suddenly I could hear the other person as well.

"How much is she dilated?" Doctor Patrol's voice spoke.

"Eh…I don't know. All I know is that Bella's water broke...fifteen minutes ago, and her contractions are longer, heavier and closer after each other."

"Okay, I'll send my caregiver. She's already on her way. Go on with timing her contractions. Watch for it she gets in enough fluids and that she goes to the toilet frequently, even if she isn't in the need for it. An empty bladder gives the baby more space. And let her relax. A movie, a book, a little walk…"

Edward nodded and hummed at all his constructions.

Shortly after, he shut his phone. "Doctor Patrol's sent someone, who's already on her way. He had an important case himself, so he couldn't come. You want to watch a movie?"

"Sure," I shrugged, but it came out as a growl, since another contraction hit me.

When it had gone away, I tried to move up and pick a DVD.

Edward was at my side immediately. "Be careful." He supported my back.

"I will be." I breathed heavily while scooting off the bed and standing up. "Which one?" I asked Edward.

"You pick. I don't really care."

I randomly grabbed out a DVD. "This one."

When Edward and I were settled on the bed, Carlisle came in.

I hadn't even noticed he had left.

He carried a trunk with at least four bottles of water and other fluids.

"Here," he said, handing me one.

I eagerly drunk it down.

The hours that followed consisted of drinking fluids, peeing, watching movies and lame TV-shows Edward and I laughed about, and grinding my teeth through contractions.

I wasn't watching the time anymore, but I saw the light changing.

I vaguely remembered it was second Easter day yesterday. Yesterday, right? I didn't know anymore, I simply didn't care.

Slowly, the contractions became heavier and heavier.

Meanwhile, doctor Patrol's caregiver had arrived and she would help me through giving birth.

She concluded I was dilated more than four centimeters.

It was getting serious now.

Throughout my shouts and swear charades, Edward paced through the room.

"Edward…Edward…honey, come here, please," I pleaded him.

In agony, he slowly walked up to me and kneeled down.

I looked into his eyes, entirely distracted by the beautiful Emerald green.

"Tell me about the first time you saw our baby," I demanded him. Anything to distract us both.

Edward looked into my eyes, mesmerizing me, looking for a hint of pain or lying.

"The first time I saw our baby was at the first echo. I think you were around eight weeks…it was just a tiny, tiny little thing, but I instantly loved it with all I had. Already then, I felt the need to protect it against the dangerous tricks of the outside world…Every time they did a new echo, our baby was becoming clearer and clearer. The first time we heard its little heart beating, or we could see its cute tiny toes and fingers…they are one of my most treasured experiences and memories of my life. I can remember how relieved I was every time the echo showed us that our baby was still very much alive, since miscarriages aren't uncommon in my parents' families," he rambled on, absently stroking my hand and softly laying his other hand on my belly.

I slowly moved my free arm up and laid my hand over his, looking up at him with eyes full of undying love. He stared back at me with the same expression.

In the bright light of the lamp on the nightstand, I could see the bruise that was once a black eye. "Edward, you still need to tell me what happened with Jake exactly."

Edward's face changed. "Bella…"

"Edward, why not now? When were you ever intending on telling me?" I said, grinding my teeth.

The caregiver wiped away the sweat on my forehead with a wet sponge. It felt very cold against my burning skin.

I had given up the hope that Edward would tell me, when he suddenly spoke. "We hit each other," he murmured, staring off into space, not wanting to meet my eyes.

"As you may know, I'm quite a possessive and protective person. Every single creature who even _dares_ to hurt you or does something to you against your will, will pay for that. That _dog_," he spat, his voice and eyes full of hatred and disgust, "took advantage of your trust and loyalty. I've kept my distance a long time, 'cos I know how important he has been to you. But this time he went way too far, he crossed the line. I know you won't like this, but I really don't want him near you for a while. And absolutely not near my child. I don't think I can handle that, yet."

"Thank you," I quietly whispered, silent tears streaming over my face. I wasn't okay with the two of them hitting each other, but it was true: Edward had been really good to Jacob, even if he actually didn't want to be.

We stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity.

Helena, the caregiver, ripped us out of our bubble by shrieking "she's dilated nine centimeters."

Our heads shot up, and I frantically started to pant.

Edward tore his eyes from in between my thighs and scooted back over to me. "Bella, sweetheart, you have to relax, okay? Nothing's wrong, our baby just wants to come out. Isn't that wonderful? You will see your little nudger in just a short time."

I gave in to the pain, letting it wave over more and grinding my teeth, enduring it.

I guess you have to go through hell to get to heaven.

But fucking shit. If giving birth wasn't fucking painful as hell.

I mean, my water broke…like what? Five hours ago? Ten? Carlisle told me that giving birth could last more than twenty hours. Twenty! Are you kidding me?

Meanwhile, my mom, dad and Maya arrived at the Cullen house, and Renee had come upstairs. She spoke encouragingly to me, whispering how she was absolutely sure I could do it. She softly stroked my hair out of my face, kissed my forehead and went to leave again.

"Mom, where are you going? I need you. I can't do this without you," I panicked.

"Isabella, baby, you won't need me. You never needed my help; you have always been perfectly able to do things on your own. Your baby is going to be absolutely fine, and Edward is here with you. With him at your side, you can do everything. Now, honey, I'm so proud of you, but you have to do this on your own. This is a new chapter of your life. A chapter wherein you will became a mother yourself, and someone will need you more than anything. I'll be downstairs. I love you, my beautiful Bella." She blew a hand kiss to me before she walked out of the room, quietly closing the door.

"Mom," I cried, but my voice was muffled by another wave of pain rolling over me.

Renee was right; Edward was there with me all the time. And that was what was most important to me.

A moment after Renee had left, Carlisle walked out, too, with the same message as my mother had. He wasn't needed here anymore. "You can do it on your own," he told both me and Edward.

"Sorry," I breathed, when I'd stinted in Edward's hand once again. I'm sure I'd broken and strangled his hand at least once during the many contractions.

"Don't worry, my love," he whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my entire body. "I can endure everything when it makes you feel better."

He couldn't hide the tormented tone in his voice, though.

Yes, I knew it wasn't a clever idea to let Edward see me in such pain, and that he would blame only himself; I had to have him with me, though. Without him I simply wouldn't be able to endure the pain.

There wasn't anyone to blame. Giving birth was a necessity, and when I'd overcome it, the pain and exhausting would fade against the sight of my nudger. It wouldn't matter to me.

I needed to go through it to get me to my baby.

Of course, Edward still blamed himself.I suspected because he felt useless, because this time he couldn't ease the pain, he couldn't let me suffer less.

"Edward, don't be angry at yourself. Please," I pleaded. "For me, please."

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I can't ignore or tune out the image of your face in pain, your aggravating cries, shudders running down your body. The worst is, I can't do anything about it. I feel helpless, useless."

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you are _not_, I repeat not, useless. Don't ever think that," I spat. "I need you, _we _need you," I said, pointing at my abdomen.

After fourteen hours since my water had broken, I was told to start pushing.

Great.

"Okay Bella, it's time to push."

This would be the most painful, exhausting and killing part of the process. The contractions were nothing compared to this, a piece of a cake.

I looked into Edward's eyes, needing the courage and strength to endure the pushes.

His beautiful emerald green eyes mixed with a little gold stared back at me, moist with tears. I took one last deep breath and took hold of Edward's hand even more before I pushed with all my strength.

Hell.

Even more painful than hell.

Could that be possible?

Yes, yes it could be.

Edward let go of my hand for one split second to put on music. He was back at my side when the first tunes of _For You _from my most favorite CD filled the room. _Down The Way _by Angus & Julia Stone.

_If I talk real slowly  
If I try real hard  
To make my point dear,  
That you have my heart.  
Here I go_

A soothing feeling calmed my frantic heart and lungs.

For a short moment, though.

I gritted my teeth when I had to push again.

And again. And again.

My energy was decreasing, my air and oxygen were decreasing.

I'd thought I could survive going through hell, I'd thought I could endure the long, painful, exhausting road to heaven, to my angel. But I was wrong. I couldn't. I was too weak.

"Edward…I'm so sorry…I can't….I can't do it…it hurts _so_ much," I cried. I couldn't take it anymore. It felt as if an entire army of elephants was running in my stomach, pulling and cutting everything in there.

"I know you can, Bella. You're strong. You can do it," he assured me and kissed my forehead. "C'mon love, don't you want to see our little baby? Be strong and you will have our little miracle in your arms before you know it." He stared in my eyes.

And for the first time since I'd fully going into labor, I could see hope in his eyes. I could see happiness, I could see joy. He was absolutely sure I was going to make it. He felt it wasn't going to last that long anymore.

Knowing from previous times, arguing with Edward was exhausting, and at the moment I didn't have the power do so. So I gave into his opinion. I told myself what he believed. I breathed in and out before I pushed again. "FUUCK!"

Meanwhile, Edward stroked the hair out of my face, which had become all wet and sweaty.

After another thousand pushes – as it felt for me – Edward and the caregiver gasped and exclaimed they could see the head.

"Okay Bella, you're almost there."

I pushed again. Hell. And again. Even worse.

"Love, our baby is almost out," Edward whispered, giving me back his hand to hold.

"Isabella, I need you to push one last time," Helena demanded.

I nodded weakly, forefeeling this push would become the most painful, most worst of all.

_You can do this, Bella. You've come so far, now. Wouldn't it be such a freaking shit hell huge waste to say the hell with it? To say, 'Guys, I've had enough of it. Never mind I had to push one last time'? You know this is where it all came down to, Swan. This is for which you went to hell for, _I pep talked myself.

Edward looked up at me again, seeing my newfound determination. He gave me _my _crooked smile, knowing how much it affected me.

With Edward's smile on my mind, I closed my eyes and pushed with all the strength I'd left, using every bit of strength I could find.

I just thought there wouldn't come an end to this push, when I heard the most welcomed sound ever.

My baby's cry.

All the pain, all the doubt, all the exhaustion, _everything_ instantly disappeared for the sound of my baby crying.

"Is he okay?" I asked, trying to sit up, but not entirely succeeding.

"She's okay," Edward told me in a soft voice, his entire face lit up. He looked down on what I supposed was my baby, but I couldn't see it…her.

A girl. I had a little girl.

Edward had been right all along. Whoa, big surprise.

Now I knew my baby was okay, I felt my breath was coming in pants, and that I felt _so _exhausted and tired.

But most of all I felt happy.

Stage three, the stage after the actual birth in which the placenta had to be delivered, was soon completed. Edward cut through the umbilical cord, and the caregiver partly cleaned my little baby.

"May I…May I hold her?"

Helena handed Edward my baby and he walked to me. I moved my hands up, and Edward laid her in my arms.

I'd never thought about becoming a mother. Yes, I wanted to have children in the far future, but not for anytime soon.

But when I discovered I was pregnant, I embraced it. From the very first moment I knew I would become a mother, I instantly loved my baby.

And now, here I was, looking at the most beautiful creature I'd ever laid eyes on. Never had I seen such beauty, not even her father.

I wanted to be her mother. I wanted to be a mother because of _her. _As soon as she was cradled in my arms, I didn't feel uncomfortable. I knew how to hold her, how to sooth her.

"She's so beautiful," I whispered, totally and entirely absorbed by the little baby in my arms.

"She's like an angel," Edward agreed.

I lightly stroked the thin cover of hair she had. I was still amazed and struck by the fact that this little miracle had been growing in me for the past eight and a half months. That she had been in me. And that she belonged to me, that this was _my _daughter.

Her hair had a bronze shade, how predictable. "She has your hair, thankfully," I muttered, for the first time taking my eyes off my daughter to look in her father's eyes.

He leaned in to kiss me passionately and hungrily. "I'm so fucking proud of you," he said against my lips. "And that is the understatement of the century."

I leaned my head on his shoulder.

Edward laid one arm over my shoulder, with the other he stroked our baby's little, tiny hand.

"Her eyes…I'm not sure about her eyes though," I muttered, gazing in my little girl's eyes. She had stopped crying by now and was looking around her with amazement. "Hi, little angel. Momma loves you so much," I cooed to her, carefully kissing her forehead.

She grabbed Edward's finger firmly in one of her small hands.

He burst out in soft chuckles and I couldn't do but join him in.

"Just as Daddy," I added.

We were alone in Edward's room, just the three of us. The caregiver had soon left off to give us some time and inform our family.

Edward and I didn't speak for a few minutes, too amazed by the little girl we had made together.

Our bubble of peaceful silence was disturbed by all too well familiar voices, slowly getting louder and accompanied with footsteps on the stairs.

Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Although I'd much rather sit here with you and watch our baby, don't you think it will be fair to let some certain people in," he said. "I'm sure there are a few persons who are _dying _to see our little angel."

Alice.

"Yeah, you're right," I nodded. "Alice would probably kill us both if we would deny her such fun."

"I'll be right back. I'll just go downstairs and will sprint back up as fast as I can." He stood up, kissed both of our foreheads, looked over to his shoulder one time before he opened the door.

Edward didn't need to go downstairs anymore. Our families were already waiting impatiently in front of the door.

"Wow," Edward brought out. "Okay, I know how badly you all want to see our daughter, but not more than three at a time."

I heard a few huffs and sighs, of which Emmett's sigh "Alice," was the loudest. I could almost picture him rolling his eyes.

First came Alice – of course – who pulled Jasper and Honor with her.

"Oh," my best friend beamed, looking so much like when Tristan was born. She clapped in her hands and looked at Jasper again. "Please may I hold her, Bella?"

I carefully handed my daughter to Alice, who had tears in her eyes. "She's so beautiful, Bella," she muttered.

It was clear my daughter had instantly taken in Alice just as she'd done with her father and me.

"When she's older, can I take her as a model for my line?" Alice asked, looking at my daughter still.

"Well, we'll see. Only if she wants it herself," I carefully said. I didn't want to kill Alice's hope, but I didn't want to make her promises either.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll want it," Alice said, determined. She looked back at my baby, who laid in Jasper's arms now. "Oh my gosh, I've a little niece! What's her name?" She beamed.

Oh. Yeah. I'd entirely forgotten that we still had to give her a name. "Eh…Edward."

"You don't have a name yet? Bella!" Alice accused me, also giving her brother a stink eye.

Edward simply shrugged his shoulders at her.

We had been talking about names. No name was just good enough.

He kneeled down so he was on our level. First, he gazed in my eyes, and then in our baby's eyes. I did the same.

It's known as a cliché, but well that's why it is a cliché, right? You're looking in your baby's eyes, or just at your baby, and then you know the name. You just know it.

"Auden," I whispered, still looking at my daughter.

"Auden Everly," Edward added.

I nodded. "Auden Everly Cullen," I smiled to my now-named daughter.

"Beautiful," Alice exclaimed, clapping in her hands.

"Just as herself."

When Alice, Jasper and Honor had left with effort, Rosalie and Emmett followed with Tristan in their arms.

It was so cute to see Emmett with his son. He kneeled down so Tristan could get a good view. "Look Tristan, that's your little cousin. You wanna know what her name is?"

Tristan looked up at Emmett questionably.

Emmett smiled. "Auden. Auden Everly Cullen. And that," he pointed at Edward, "is her father. Can you believe it, my little quirky brother has become a daddy."

"Emmett," Edward hissed.

"What?"

"Don't poison Tristan's brain with stories and ideas that are far from reality."

"Tristan is _my _child, you know. You've nothing to say about him. You're just annoyed you've nobody to fall back on. No mom or dad or little sister who will choose your side."

Edward huffed.

Rosalie and I rolled our eyes at our men. "And? Was all the pain worth it?" she asked, although knowing my answer already.

"Definitely."

"The first few weeks are hell, with all the crying and stuff, but that will all be worth it, too."

Then came Esme and Carlisle, both with tears in their eyes and proud clearly shown on their faces.

"Oh Bella," Esme exclaimed, circling her arms around my neck.

Edward was holding Auden now and Carlisle was at his side.

She sat down on the bed next to me. "I'm so proud of you, Bella. I've always known you had big strength in you. Giving birth asks lots of energy and willpower."

"You've done it four times."

She smiled. "Yes, and each time I had to be given courage. The knowledge I would see my baby in the end, was the fact I kept going, why I didn't give up. It was like a light at the end of a tunnel."

"It was the same for me. I had to go through hell to get to heaven."

"Exactly." She kissed my cheek and patted my hand, before she stood up.

She hugged Edward close, standing on her tiptoes to circle her arms his neck.

"You've done such a good job, Edward. You may be proud of yourself," she sniffled.

"Thanks, Mom."

"No, thank _you _Edward."

Carlisle turned his eyes to me, smiling. "I know it's damn obvious Bella, but I got to say she's beautiful."

"Thank you," I said, blushing. I still wasn't used to getting compliments, even if they weren't really directed towards me.

"Can I hold her now?" Esme asked Edward.

"Mom, do you even have to ask? If someone's good with babies, it's you."

"Sorry," she blushed and bit her lip before she carefully took Auden out of Carlisle's arms.

Edward put the CD which had just finished playing in its cover, put it back where it belonged into his immense CD collection and looked for a new one. He put on Fleet Foxes, a band from Seattle, who sang together beautifully. It was really peaceful music.

"Honey, I think our time's up," Carlisle said to Esme.

"Yes. Bella's parents and sister had to wait long enough." She kissed Auden's tiny nose. "I'll see you soon, my beautiful, little granddaughter," she cooed.

Edward walked up to his parents to take over Auden.

She was curiously taking in everything around her. Sometimes she'd make little sounds or gave a little cry, but for the most she was pretty quiet.

Esme and Carlisle left, and my parents and Maya walked in.

Renee came up to us without hesitation, but Charlie was more cautiously. Maya followed on my mother's heels.

"Oh, c'mon Charlie, she's a beauty. Don't be scared, she ain't going to bite you," Renee laughed at Charlie.

"Dad," Maya accused him. "Don't be a coward."

Charlie cleared his throat. "Well, it's my little girl sitting there, after just given birth at twenty-three. It seems like just yesterday she was born. Give me a moment to get used to the idea of being a grandfather, will ya?" he huffed.

Renee, Maya and I burst out into laughter.

Edward was intensely gazing in Auden's eyes and wasn't really paying attention to our surroundings.

Renee had to ask Edward twice and I had to nudge his shoulder, before he heard her question.

"Oh, yes, of course," he composed himself, handing our daughter to my mother.

Maya stood next to Renee, cooing to Auden and softly stroking her cheek. Charlie had come closer and looked curiously.

"Just hold her Charlie," Renee softly cried out. She handed my angel to my father, not letting her go until she was safely in his arms.

My father looked at Auden with big eyes. "She's really beautiful Bells. The most beautiful baby I've ever seen, I gotta say."

I'd seen it with both the Cullens and my family, I'd experienced it myself: my daughter had the ability to capture the heart of everyone who laid eyes on her.

I was startled by the electric vibe that seemed to exist between Edward and me becoming stronger. I tore my eyes away from my little baby in the arms of my father to meet Edward's eyes. The Emerald green looked brighter and fuller of passion than I'd ever seen them before, except for this one time…the time he asked me to marry him.

He came to sit with me and I circled my arms around him, not wanting to let him go. I sniffled in his delicious scent, burying my face in his chest.

He chuckled, and I could feel it through my body.

"Thank you, Edward," I muttered against his shirt.

"What for, love?"

"For having stayed with me during the birth, and for giving me courage and love to don't give up. I couldn't have done this without you." Before he could argue with me, I went on. "I really mean it Edward, so don't argue with me. I won't allow you. It's the truth. Period."

"Well, am I allowed to thank you too, or is that against your rules, too? I won't say it's an argument, but I don't know how you think about it."

"Gah, you're such a smart-ass Edward."

"Is it allowed or what?"

I wasn't going to sound selfish to allow him to thank me. I mean, c'mon! So, I answered him by nodding.

"You allowed me to thank you and since I may not argue with you about your thanks, you are not allowed to argue with me yourself. Understood?"

"Yes, Edward."

I didn't get to hear what he wanted to say immediately, 'cause Renee, Charlie and Maya left off to give us more quality time and privacy. Renee laid Auden in her crib, blew me another hand kiss and smiled at Edward. Maya smiled at the both of us, too, giving a thumbs up to Edward. Her smile to Edward was also a bit more eager and giddy than the one she gave to me. Maya ran after Renee and took her hand before they walked out of the room. Charlie left as last. He nodded at Edward, as if he was giving him permission for something. Edward returned the nod.

As soon as Charlie had closed the door, Edward spoke. "Isabella Marie Swan, thank you for giving me the most beautiful gift someone could ever get. Thank you for giving me Auden. Thank you for having let you in my life. Thank you for loving me, and sticking with me. Thank you for forgiving my sins and mistakes, even if I don't deserve it. No, don't interrupt me," he warned, putting a finger on my lips. "Thank you for giving me so much joy and love and support and trust. Thank you for just being you, my beautiful Bella. Thank you for calling me every day, wherever you and I are, and telling me about your day. Thank you for being such a good friend to my sister, and to the rest of family. I know how annoying they can be, but you seem to be totally fine around them. Thank you for being so strong, and for accompanying me to public events. You don't have to, but you still do it. For me. I will never be able to express how thankful am I to you, not with words, with gestures, with movements, but that doesn't mean I won't try. Every freaking day, I'll show you how much you mean to me, how much I love you, how thank- and grateful I am. Isabella, my lover, my fiancée, my rock, love of my life, mother of my beautiful and stunning daughter…marry me."

My breath stocked in my throat, my heart seemed to stand still.

Did Edward just ask me to marry him? Again? Did he just really do that? Why? Why would he do that? I'd already said yes, right? Wasn't once enough?

My brains seemed to spin around, looking for a logical explanation for why Edward would propose to me again.

"Bella?"

I couldn't comprehend how to move, how to speak, how to do anything _at all. _

"Bella, are you okay? Are you hurt? Bella, breathe, please."

Had I stopped breathing? Oh.

I found my lungs again and breathed in and out. Slowly, I also found back how to speak. "Edward…I've already said yes."

"That was eight months ago. A lot has happened in the past months. Things which should have made you break the engagement. Things that should have you leave me. I…I wanted, needed, to show you I still love you like I did eight months ago…hell, ten thousand times _more _than I did last September. I can't leave you, Bella. Say you still want to marry me."

"What? You doubt my love for you? You think I could break the engagement? You think I'm able to do that? I can't, Edward! I can't _ever_ leave you, I can't _ever _break the connection we have, if it's an official one or not. I just can't. I've said yes. I'm wearing your ring. But if you need to hear me say it again: Yes, Edward. Yes, I'll marry you."

"Thank you," he muttered, before crashing his mouth to mine.

"You really didn't have to do that, Edward," I whispered against his lips.

"Yes, Bella, I had to. No arguing, remember." He cocked an eyebrow.

"Edward," I growled. Smart-ass.

I leaned it for another kiss, because I just love to kiss my man. Sue me.

"Oh, I totally forgot." Edward scooted away from me, walking to the drawer under his desk. He frantically ruffled through it. "Shit, were on earth is it?"

He stood still and was deep in thoughts.

"Ah, fuck!" he cried out, hastily turning around and sprinting out of the door, descending the stairs.

Weird.

My fiancé just proposed to me again, a mere hour after I'd given birth to his daughter, and now he left without explanation.

I yawned and walked over to Auden's crib.

She'd fallen asleep, her long dark lashes – clearly inherited from her father – covered her beautiful eyes. Her plump limps formed a small 'o'.

I could watch her forever.

"You're such an ass, Edward. How could you forget you'd left it in my room?" I heard Alice' voice coming up stairs.

"Jeez Alice, I'd had a hectic time in New York, and when I was here, I spent every second of my time with my fiancée who could go into labor anytime. You're still sure I deserve your blame?" Edward spat back.

"Guys, I love you both very much, but there is a little girl asleep in here," I hushed, leaving my daughter behind with ache in my heart and walking up to the door, meeting them.

"Bella," Alice cried out in surprise.

"Uh, hi."

"You aren't supposed to be moving like that."

"Why not? I feel perfectly fine, except I'm quite tired."

"Hello, you just gave birth."

"Yes, and?" I was tired, exhausted is a better word, but I felt okay. And I damn well wanted to know what Edward and Alice were talking about.

"Never mind."

I looked at Edward and noticed he was holding a square, flat box.

"So, what were you two fussing about?"

Edward looked down at his bare feet.

"_Edward _here forget he'd left his gift in my room, the ass."

"Which gift?"

"His proposal gift for you."

"You knew all about this?"

"Of course," she says, matter-of-factly.

I turned to Edward. "You got me a gift?" I asked him, astonished.

"Yeah," he murmured.

"You know, I didn't really see why exactly he had to propose to you again, but well it _is _really sweet though. So, when he told me, he also asked me to look for a gift he could give you when he would propose again. We looked on the internet, and Edward saw this," she gestured to the box, "and immediately knew this had to be it. He picked it up when he was in New York. Now, I know how much you hate to get presents, but sorry to disappoint you: it's part of life, getting presents. That is, when you're a part of the Cullen family, at least. We like to give presents to the ones we love."

I sighed. "Okay, okay. You win, but that doesn't mean I'm still okay with you spending a helluva lot of money on a gift for me."

"There's no maximum amount of money to spend on love."

I rolled my eyes. I had no energy for fussing with Alice.

"Brother dear," Alice accused Edward, "are you intending on giving your proposal gift to Bella before the wedding, or what?"

Edward looked up from his feet.

Why was he so shy?

"Edward, love, are you okay?" I softly said, closing that awful gap between us, and encircling my arms around him.

His arms pulled me closer to him, and I felt the box against my back.

"Yes, I've never been better," he said against my hair, giving me goose bumps all over my body. "I know you hate it when you get presents, and you hate it more when _I'm _the one giving you them, but I love you so damn much, and I wanted you to have this," he muttered, letting go of me and softly pushing me away so he could give me the gift.

I looked up at the both of them, before I took the box from Edward.

Awkwardly and a little nervous, and I hate to admit, curious, I removed the gift paper from the box. On the cover was written a name that sounded familiar to me, vaguely remembering seeing an ad in ELLE UK and hearing Alice mentioning it while she was talking with Rosalie.

With trembling fingers, I opened the box. I scooped away the protection paper, and there it laid.

A yellow gold butterfly pendant, with diamonds covering its small body.

It was beautiful, stunning, and it must have cost a fortune.

"I love you," Edward says, closer than he was when I'd looked at him.

He carefully lifted the pendant out of the box and put it on around my neck. He turned me around so he could look at me and looked at me for a few seconds.

"Beautiful," he said, barely a whisper.

Then he caught me off guard by fiercely grabbing my face, pulling me in for a kiss.

I vaguely heard Alice warning us to watch out for the necklace.

"Jeez, you guys are so annoying. You don't want to know how freaking irritating it is to see your brothers exchanging saliva with your best friends and who are also totally blind you're in the same room as well. Gah, big brothers are no fun."

I couldn't help to burst into laughter.

"Bella, you're supposed to side with me, not laugh at me! Edward should be the one to make fun of me, not you. I thought you were my friend."

"Alice, you are. And I love you. And I want you to be maid of honor."

I'd blurted it out before I could register what I'd said. I'd wanted to ask Alice for a long time, but I never had the guts to do so. And now, I'd blurted it out in a rush.

Alice blinked her eyes. "You do?"

"Alice Mary Cullen, you're my best friend, who could be my maid of honor other than you?"

"Ah!" she shrieked, rushing to me in a blur, and hugging me close. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I was already worrying about the amount of bridesmaids. I didn't want to deny little Billie Jean her fun to be a bridesmaid on her stepsister's wedding, and hell no Honor Rose and Maya would forgive me if I didn't give them a special role. Unless you've something different in mind of course. But since I won't be a bridesmaid anymore, there's just three left and that's okay," she rambled like she always did when she was exited.

I smiled, glad she was so happy about it.

"Alice, not to be impolite, but if you don't mind…," Edward started.

Alice let go of her hold on me, but kept an arm around my shoulders, glaring daggers at her brother.

"What? You want to kiss Bella brainless, again? You want to play dirty with her? Let me tell you something: ain't happening buddy!"

Edward glared back at her.

"No, that wasn't what I wanted to say. Bella has just given birth and maybe she doesn't feel it now, but she needs her rest. And just to say: I'm her _fiancé and the father of her daughter_, and you're just her best friend. She will choose me if she had to."

"Would she?"

"Yes."

"How are you so sure about that?"

"Because I know her."

"I can say the same."

"Just deal with the fact I win this one."

"Why don't we ask it herself?"

"Won't change anything. You and I both know the answer already."

She huffed, looking at me hopefully.

I bit my lip and glanced at Edward, who gave me my crooked smile.

"I…I..."

This was really not fair. Of course I would pick Edward, but there was no way I was going to say that to my best friend.

"Me or Edward?"

I sighed and gave up. She asked for it. "Edward."

"You see?"

"Rub it in, Edward. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've a man to go to, someone who would pick _me _in front of everything else in the universe."

She walked past us and marched off the stairs.

"I didn't offend her, did I?"

"No, of course not. She's just pretending and being the little drama queen."

Now Alice had left and we were alone again, I felt how freaking exhausted I actually was. I hardly could keep my eyes open, and let out a long yawn.

"Let's get you to bed," Edward murmured, picking me up in his arms and carrying me to the bed.

Auden was still fast asleep, moving in her sleep.

We stood there for a moment, perfectly still and mesmerized by the angel that was our daughter, Edward having me in his arms. I wanted to stay like this forever.

But sleep was stubborn, too. My eyes fell closed and I yawned again.

"Go to sleep, love," Edward whispered, laying me on the bed and handing me one of his shirts and boxers.

I was laying under the covers, while Edward changed into pajamas too.

"I feel so empty," I said, to no-one in particular, staring at the ceiling. "As if I'm missing something in my body."

"Auden," Edward answered, his voice containing a level of love for which no words were good enough when he spoke out her name.

"I still can't quite get it that Auden has been growing in me for the past months, that she's my little nudger. That they are the same one little person."

"She is. She has been the one all along," he softly said, scooting under the covers, too.

I turned on my side to face him, my eyes filled with tears.

"It's all over. You can sleep. Auden will be okay," Edward said, stroking sweaty locks out of my face.

I nodded. "Wake me when she's hungry."

"I will." Edward kissed my forehead and let his lips linger there.

And I dozed off.

It wasn't long before Auden's cries woke me. "Ah, are you hungry? Is my little angel hungry?" I grabbed her out of the crib and nestled her against my chest.

She was a little bit confused, so I guided her to one of my breasts.

She eagerly drunk, while I stroked her hair.

Auden had Edward's bronze hair and jaw line, but for the rest the shape of her face was authentic to mine.

Just like Tristan, she'd a mixture of eye colors.

Emerald green and chocolate brown were brought together in her beautiful little eyes, covered by the same dark lashes her father had.

When she was finished, I softly rocked her back and forth, before patting her on the back softly, burping her.

She was wearing an outfit Alice had designed for Auden alone. Alice hadn't known if it would be a boy or a girl (no-one had), so she had made two outfits. The other would be for if we would ever get a son, but she wouldn't show it to me until I would get a boy.

Auden's eyes closed and her breathing became even, her tiny fists clasping and unclasping once every minute.

I smiled at the miracle in my eyes and laid her back in her crib, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

I dragged the crib closer to our bed, before I plopped in bed myself.

I scooted closer to a sleeping Edward and laid my arm around his waist, making figures on his back.

Just before sleep kicked in, my mind threw some thoughts at me.

I was a mother. I had a daughter. I had something that belonged to no-one but me(and Edward). I'd never thought about the idea of being a mother, never thought about liking to be a mother, about being a _good _mother.

But hell yes I loved to be a mother, even it wasn't a day since Auden had come out, I loved my daughter and I would do anything for her.

My abdomen may be empty now, but the feeling for my nudger hadn't changed. I would protect her, I would fight for her if I had to.

I scooted even closer to Edward, taking in his mesmerizing scent.

This was just the beginning.

* * *

**Confesssion: I knew it was going to be a girl from the very, very first beginning. The name Auden Everly came two months later, in October. Her birth date is 6th of April, by the way, for those who wonder.**

**I know it's very rare to be so active as Bella is just after you've given birth. Let's just say this is an exception. I needed the other things to happen like they do. I hope you understand and know I've kept this in mind.**

**Play-list:  
****Scouting For Girls – 1+1=3  
****Angus & Julia Stone – And the Boys  
****Angus & Julia Stone – All of Me  
****Angus & Julia Stone – Paper Aeroplane  
****Angus & Julia Stone – Bella  
****Angus & Julia Stone – All of Me  
****Kings of Leon – Only By The Night  
****Jeff Bridges – Brand New Angel**

**Presents in the form of reviews are very, very welcome. I would really appreciate you to bring that lonely button down here a short visit, typ some words and live on. Even if it's just one word, I don't care. I'm not good in writing reviews, either, so I don't give a damn what you write exactly. It's the thought that counts.**


	18. Welcome on Board

_**DATING FAME  
**__**chapter 18: Welcome on Board**_

"A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy,  
the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered,  
and the smile that lights on the first born babe,  
and assures it of a mother's love."  
**Thomas C. Haliburton**

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait once again. Hope you all had a nice summer. Sadly, school starts next week again, for me. Dreading. Thank you so much for all the reviews, and I'm glad you liked the name I picked. **

**BIG thank you goes out to my terrific and awesome Beta, _With The What Now_. She really helped me out with this one.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the desire to be Rob or Kristen's little sister.**

**HOLY...! Just saw pics of Robsten kissing in Montreal. For realz. No kidding. Hate the papz for following them around like crazy, though.**

* * *

We were having dinner in the beautiful dining room of the Cullen house, the entire family present.

I looked around to see this amazing, close family.

Carlisle, laughing, and sometimes looking to Esme with such passion and love it made his wife blush.

Esme, sweet and caring Esme. I thanked her on my bare knees for having given birth and raised Edward, and his siblings, with such devotion and love.

Emmett, big, dark haired Emmett. Still joking. His eyes were all sparkling, thanks to the woman of his life seated next to him.

Rosalie, top model Rosalie. Gosh, she was so fucking awesome.

Jasper and Alice. In some months time, they would welcome their own miracle.

Honor Rose, all giggling, and when she was with her family, she was that little girl again. Her bronze hair sparkled in the light.

Edward, my Edward. He looked so content.

I squeezed his hand under the table, earning me that damn sexy crooked smile of his.

My little girl was deeply asleep in Edward's room.

She was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. And everyday I loved her more. She was my life.

"Oh, and you remember when Honor was thirteen, and she disappeared while we were on a holiday in Italy. Turned out she had sneaked off to Alec's," Emmett boomed.

Honor turned a deep red. "Thank you, Em."

Alec Volturi was Honor's first love. They had dated since she was nine for eight years.

He was the son of Aro Volturi, one of Carlisle's best friends, and who also was Alice's godfather.

"Honny pon, we all know you still have it big for Alec Volturi. You don't need to be ashamed of it, little sis."

She stuck out her tongue to her oldest brother.

"Sure you made a dance when Alec signed up for your newest movie," Emmett continued.

That was true. Honor Rose and Alec would play in a new movie, together.

"Jeez, Emmett, what's up with you? Can't you torture someone else?" Honor cried out, focusing on the food on her plate.

"No, sister dear. You're bro's siblings book."

"Alice is your little sister, too."

"Technically. But she's different. You're really my little sister, my littlest."

"Ah, I really hate you guys," Honor scolded.

She looked up from her plate at Esme with pleading eyes. "Mom, I'm finished, may I leave? My brother is teasing me all the time, and he can't shut up, so I don't know what I have to do here anymore."

Her parents laughed.

"Emmett, that's enough for tonight," Carlisle told his son, smiling.

"You and Alec, huh?" Esme asked.

Emmett laughed so hard I had the feeling the glass would break.

We all laughed with him, though.

"Thank you very much, Emmett _Henry_ Cullen. You will so pay for this," Honor huffed.

She did react on her mother's question though. "What about me and Alec, mom?"

"Honey, you called it quits with your boyfriend months ago. Just before you would start pre-production and filming that movie with Alec…"

"I'm on a break, mom. A break. It's not definite."

Alice, Edward and Emmett cleared their throats almost in unison.

"What?"

"Honor Rose, you are lying through your teeth."

"Why is everyone against me?

Alice sighed. "Sweet Hon, you love Alec. As much as we all like Dylan, he's not the one for you. You need someone who's in the bizz, too. You need someone who understands you entirely, who knows this sick world. Alec is just as used to the Hollywood life as you. And besides, you've agreed you could both see someone else. Guess what? You and I saw Dylan with some other woman while shopping in Vancouver. And you didn't even care!"

Honor hid her head in her hands. "Why are we talking about this, with my entire sick brained family, during dinner?" she muttered.

"We're so not sorry for you, kitten."

Honor groaned.

She used to be obsessed with cats. The wild life cats, like in Africa. Lions, tigers, cheetahs, name it…That's where she got the nickname kitten from.

"Enjoy talking about me, but I won't listen to it anymore. I've a script to learn. Bye guys," she said, walking to the kitchen to put her dishes away, and after that she walked upstairs to her room.

"So, that little kid is gone."

"Do you really think they will get together again?"

"Alec and Hon?"

"Yeah."

"Absolutely, if they aren't already."

"It's true, though. Honor really needs someone who knows what she's talking about. She needs someone who is familiar as hell with the Hollywood shit and all."

"I agree. I never really got why the two of them broke up three years ago, and I don't doubt Alec has hurt Hon somehow, but I've also never seen her more happy and more secure of herself than when she was with him. He gave her some sort of glow."

"Alec is a tough guy, which is good."

"What do you mean?"

"We all know Honor has low times once in a while. She can be very difficult to deal with it, in the way you have absolutely no idea what she's thinking. All you know is there's something wrong, but you don't know how to help her. She won't let you."

"That's not entirely true. Honor just finds it difficult to express her inner feelings."

"That and the fact she's stubborn as hell."

"We all are."

"Hey, I'm gonna check up on Auden, 'kay?" I whispered in Edward's ear, not wanting to disturb their conservation.

"Mhm?" he murmured, as if he hadn't heard anything I'd said.

"I'm going to check up on Auden."

"Oh, I'll come with you."

"No, don't. Have a good conversation with your family. I'll be perfectly fine."

"She's my daughter, too, you know."

"I know. You can give her the be-careful talk and such."

He groaned. "Thank you so much. That means a lot to me, that you let me do that. I'm looking forward to that moment to arrive," he said, his voice drenched of sarcasm.

I stood up and straightened my shirt.

Edward wasn't going to let me go so easily.

He surprised me by pulling me down for a hot as fuck kiss, letting me forget everything but him.

Too soon, he ended it.

Several clearing of throats reminded me once again I wasn't in some private place with Edward.

"I'm gonna check up on Auden," I told them, walking off to the stairs.

"That butterfly pendant looks really lovely on you, Bella," Esme assured me.

"Thanks," I blushed, before going around the corner.

"Edward picked it out," I heard Alice say.

"He did?" Rosalie asked, astonished. "I didn't know he had such good taste."

"Ouch, Rosalie. That hurts," Edward said.

I couldn't hold back my laughter.

"I can still hear you Isabella. If you aren't upstairs in five seconds, I'm going to get you and drag you into a _deserted _room," Edward warned.

"Ew! How many times do I have to tell you it's not cool talking about you and my best friend having sex in my face."

"Alice, jeez, don't be such a fucking baby. How do you think it is watching you and Jasper going all goo goo over each other? It would take me _hours _to get you guys out of your bubble."

"Yeah right, Edward. You're exaggerating. Again."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not going to have this argument with you. You and I both know I'm right as hell about this, since you drooled all over this photos mom had made of the two of you, and you couldn't stop talking about the way you looked at each other."

"Ow, he got you there sister!" Emmett boomed.

"Shut the fuck up Em!"

"Are you trying to swear as much as possible in one conversation? You all know we tolerate quite some swearing, but you mustn't make it too bad."

"Dad, you know this is nothing compared to what we are capable of. Like…"

"Emmett, I wasn't inviting you to start a fuck charade now."

"Ah Dad, that's not fair. You should hear how much you swear."

"That wasn't what I was talking about."

I don't really know why I stayed listening to their crazy conversation and didn't go up to my daughter.

"You're still here."

Edward's voice startled me and I let out a squeal.

"The five seconds passed a _long _timeago," he mused on.

I was captured into his dark eyes, filled with lust. I couldn't bring out any coherent sentences or words, or even thoughts.

"That means I'll have to drag you to the closest room and take you," he continued.

He put back a string of my hair into my loose ponytail.

"Understood?"

I could only nod.

* * *

On our way upstairs, we walked into Alice, who gave us the stink eye.

Of course, she knew exactly what Edward and I had been doing in one of the downstairs' rooms.

We hadn't put on the light, so I had no idea which room it could have been.

I really hoped it wasn't Esme's office, because that would have been so….gosh I even didn't want to think about that.

Edward would have known which room it was. As carefree he sometimes could be, he would _never, ever _fuck me in his mother's office.

He respected, loved and adored her way too much for that.

Embarrassed, I hid my face in the crook of Edward's arm.

"I hate you, Edward Cullen," Alice snarled at Edward.

He just shrugged his shoulders at her.

"Argh, could you think about people other than yourself for one day, too?"

"I do. I care about you, and the rest of our wicked family. I care about my roles, my music, my band. I care about my fucking hot and super awesome fiancée and my angel of a daughter."

"You know exactly what I mean Edward, and you're being the smart-ass once again."

I really wanted to go see Auden now.

I'd been away from her for too long and I wanted to know if she was okay.

"Edward," I said quietly.

He looked down at me and knew immediately what I wanted.

"Let's go."

He took my hand and led me to the final flight of stairs, which led to the corridor at which Edward and Honor's rooms came out.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, do not walk away from me again!"

"Alice, take it down. Go do some yoga or something."

"_Edward_!"

"Relax, Alice. You're pregnant. Hormones and such. We're going to check up on Auden," Edward said while we walked up the stairs.

Luckily, Auden was perfectly fine.

Relief washed over me.

She was stirring a little in her sleep and was already making little sorts of sounds.

Edward put on Debussy's Clair De Lune, and after a little while, Auden seemed to relax.

"You can never start too early with some good music education," Edward mused, inspecting a CD cover out of his huge collection.

Although we had our own house in New York, where in most of his collection housed, the amount of CD's he had here was bigger than most people had in total.

Since he spent quite some time here, too, he'd grown tired of dragging along CD's all over the country and just bought his most favorite CD's twice.

I walked up to him and encircled my arms around him, resting my head on his back.

"Our kids will get the best music education there is to get."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, isn't that obvious? Your knowledge of music is beyond words. You're a musician yourself. It's in their genes, too. All of your siblings, and even your parents, have been in some sort of band."

"True," he smiled.

"I love you."

"I know."

"You better."

"I love you, too."

"Good."

Edward chuckled.

He turned around and walked over to the window-wall. "Come here."

I did as he said.

Edward opened his arms and I happily filled the place.

* * *

It was like they were waiting for us, like they had been camping out on Sea-Tac airport, knowing we would come eventually.

Honor had called us when she'd left to California to attend Coachella Valley Festival of Music and Arts a couple of days ago, together with Maya and other friends, to warn us there were more paparazzi than on an usual day.

Sea-Tac had never been of any big importance to the paparazzi. Vancouver was the big hotspot in the Northwestern.

Until now, obviously.

Carlisle and Esme dropped us off at the entrance.

The flashes had already begun.

Esme looked over our shoulders to the gathering crowd with worry.

"You're sure you're going to make it? You don't need any guidance or protection?"

"No Mom, we'll be perfectly fine."

Esme still didn't look convinced.

"Darling, their plane is leaving anytime soon. They'll be safe and sound," Carlisle soothed his wife.

She looked at him.

He pulled her into a half-embrace, kissing her forehead.

Edward gave his parents a quick hug, before he took over our daughter from me so I could hug Carlisle and Esme.

"Call me as soon as you're safely in the plane and when you've landed in New York," Esme demanded.

"Yes mom," Edward murmured, already turning away.

"I'm serious Edward Cullen."

He looked over his shoulder, giving his mother a reassuring smile. "I promise."

"Love you guys! And we'll come by anytime soon. I can't miss my kids and gorgeous granddaughter for too long."

"Esme, love, let them go," Carlisle sighed, silent laughter filling his voice.

"Alright, alright. Having grown up kids isn't easy, I can tell ya," she continued.

"Love you Mom, speak to you soon."

"You better," was the last we heard her say before we walked into the airport halls.

Edward had our bag over his shoulder and Auden safely and protectively cradled against his chest.

I'd Auden's bag, which was filled with helluva lot of clothes for my barely one week old daughter along with some stuff of our own, over my shoulder and dragged along a trolley.

Edward and I both wore dark sunglasses and Auden was shielded away from the cameras with their bright flashes with a cloth.

While we waited in front of the check-in counter – even if you were flying first class, we had to wait a little while – I laid my hand on the small of Edward's back and cooed to my little girl.

My fiancé looked around warily.

Always so protective.

I looked up to him.

Even through his black Ray Ban Wayfarers I could see how angry and rigid he was.

"I love you," I softly said.

I knew it would put the cameras on a tsunami, but I just needed to kiss my fucking amazing and beautiful fiancé, the father of my dazzling little angel.

Who was I to be blamed?

His lips were warily at first, but he soon deepened our kiss.

"Mister? Sir? Miss? Miss?"

I tuned out the annoying humming. Didn't they see we were busy?

"Excuse me, sir. There is a queue waiting…"

_Oh fuck._

We were at an airport. We weren't in some private happy place.

I tried to pull away, but Edward didn't want to let go of my lips.

"Edward," I breathed against his lips. "I don't want to stay on this airport any longer than I already have to."

Edward pulled away, coughed and recomposed himself.

Why could he always pretend looking as if nothing embarrassing had just happened?

Oh yeah, he was a terrific and award winning actor.

It was so not fair.

He shoved over to the counter, motioning to me to grab our passports out of his jacket pocket.

The day Auden was born, her – and my, too – family had already requested a passport.

Within eleven days, my daughter already had an own passport and many other passes.

And then thinking about the fact I got my first passport when I was seventeen years.

I handed the man our passports with still flaming cheeks.

After our luggage had been checked in, we went to our gate, chased and surrounded by paparazzi.

Under my hands, I felt both Edward and Auden turn rigid.

As much as I could totally understand my daughter to start crying, I didn't want it to happen.

Not here, in a crowded airport and surrounded by complete strangers who knew everything about us but of whom I knew nothing about in return.

With steady strides, we walked on.

The entrance of the plane was like a light at the end of a dark tunnel.

We both let out a breath of relief as soon as we stepped into the plane, our muscles relaxing.

Being on a plane with a Cullen always meant you were in business class, the best as possible.

Although I still wasn't comfortable with people – the Cullens – spending loads of money on me – the pendant around my neck to prove – I couldn't deny the comfort of first class.

Edward said it wasn't that much of money they had to pay for the best seats of the plane. The husband of his aunt Robin, who was a photographer, co-owned a green airplane company, which gave the Cullens a huge reduction because they were family _and _promoted the company.

Emmett, wicked man that he was, had even walked around with a temporary tattoo of the logo for six months. It was such a tattoo that vanished after half a year.

"It's okay to listen to _Back In N.Y.C. _now, you know," I joked when we'd settled in the plane.

Edward had immediately put on his headphones to listen to his iPod.

Although he had no fear of flying, at all, he _hated _the waiting before the plane would take off. His iPod was the one thing that could take his mind off the killing waiting now.

Previous times, when there wasn't a little baby girl in between us, he used to distract himself by oh so subtly touching me all over my body.

Those plane blankets weren't there only to keep you warm.

I flushed at the memories of us two playing dirty high up in the air, under the blankets, with the flight attendees practically just a few feet away from us.

"Huh?" Edward questioned, pulling off his headphones.

His eyes glistered, though, so I knew he knew bloody well what I'd said and where I was talking about.

"You are going back to N.Y.C. now, not to your parents' house in _Washington_. The song is suitable now."

"You've got a good memory, miss Soon-To-Be-Misses-Cullen."

"I've just got a good _Edward_-memory, mister Cullen-to-marry-miss-Swan," I retorted.

"You do?" Edward whispered huskily, leaning closer.

I was hyper aware of how close he was.

So close there could be just one thing he thought of, one thing he wanted.

Kissing me. Hard. Passionately.

"Edward," I breathed.

I didn't want to crush my two-week old baby girl.

"Yes, my love," he said, his voice full of faked innocence.

Dammit.

Damn the hotness that is Edward Cullen. Damn him and his how-to-get-in-Bellas-pants tricks.

I was this close in giving in, but luckily my clever and attentive daughter saved the three of us by letting out a wail.

"Fuck," Edward breathed.

He clearly hadn't counted on his interfering daughter.

Edward still had me in his tight hold, so I was unable to take Auden in my arms.

"If you'll excuse me, I've to go to someone who needs me more now."

"I doubt that," he grumbled.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I saw that, Isabella," he breathed in my neck.

_Auden, Auden, Auden, _I told myself and with all the willpower I could find – which wasn't much – I moved away from Edward and pushed him back in his seat so I had better access to my daughter.

Without looking back at my fiancé, I leaned over to get Auden out of her safety seat.

"Hey," I cooed. "How's my little girl doing? Are you hungry?"

Her cries stopped when she was nestled against my chest.

Auden looked around her with intense curiosity and wonder, and I would swear her mouth turned in a small smile when she spotted her father.

"Edward," I gasped, not taking my eyes of the miracle that was my daughter.

Her smile didn't fade a bit.

Edward's curiosity and endearment for Auden won from his stubbornness.

"Did she…did she just seriously _smile_?" he asked astonished.

"I would say so."

"But…she's not even two weeks old."

"I know. I get the feeling Auden isn't one out of dozen, though."

"She has never been."

* * *

JFK was worse, of course.

Alice and Jasper had traveled to New York a few days earlier, and just as Honor had seen on SeaTac, they'd spotted several paparazzi and fans camping out on the airport already.

The hard-dies had even gone so paranoid, they'd mistaken Alice for me, thinking I'd gone undercover and had dressed up as Alice to try avoid the paparazzi.

Jasper had lost it and had come really close to knocking out those guys, wasn't it that a security guard had taken him in a hold and prevented Jasper from a trial.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! It's Edward Cullen! It's him for real!"

"Oh, he's carrying his daughter. How sweeet!"

Without any stops, we rushed hastily through all the necessary stops, such as custom service.

As soon as all of that was wrapped, Edward led me to one of the parking lots.

I didn't know he had a car parked here, but I hadn't been in New York for over a month, and Edward had been to JFK often lately.

Edward didn't stop walking until he'd reached a huge black SUV.

A Volvo, of course.

He looked down, something he did when he feared my reaction.

"So, this is her," he mumbled shyly.

"What do you mean, 'this is her'?"

"This is my…our new car. A XC60 Volvo in black grey."

A gasp left my mouth before I could register I would do so.

I knew he was going to buy another car, and I knew he would be bigger than the Volvo he used to have. I guess I hadn't expected it would be this _huge._

Edward misinterpreted my gasp.

"I can always return her. I just thought she was cool, big enough, strong and safe…," he trailed off.

"Hush," I silenced him, placing my hand over his mouth.

Always the worrier.

"I love you, more than I'll ever be able to express. _All _of you. Although I think you've outdone yourself, _again_…," I rolled my eyes. "…I think this car's cool, too. You don't have to return it. I was just a little surprised by it's size, it's so huge and all…"

A breath of relief left him, his shoulders relaxing and the rigidness leaving his body.

"Why were you so afraid for my reaction?" I wondered.

"Well…err…don't take this the wrong way love,…but you _do_ explode sometimes."

"I do not!" I shrieked.

"You just did," he half-smiled.

"No!"

"Isabella," he warned.

I huffed, crossing my arms and playing childish, giving him the biggest pout I could.

Edward chuckled and looked away.

When he looked back, his eyes were blazing and he surprised me by covering my lips with his own in high speed.

"Not fair," I muttered against his urgent lips.

"Shut it, Swan."

"No," I hold on, putting my feet down.

"Okay, you asked for it," he said, pulling away and leaving me hanging.

What?

My mind couldn't register what was happening after Edward's breathtaking kiss.

Meanwhile, while my brain got oxygen, Edward had opened the back seat door and had pulled out a car seat, carefully putting in Auden.

How did he get it? _When _did he get it?

We'd never done much baby shopping, since we'd planned to do it in New York after the Oscars. Well, that went a little different, as we all know.

I'd never really gotten the chance to shop for necessary objects, apart from some clothes, since Alice had dragged me along to a baby clothing store in Port Angeles. The store was quite unknown and small, but it was Alice's secret must-go for baby clothes.

Besides, I've had so much on my sleeve this past month, I hadn't really thought of car seats, cribs and other baby stuff.

"You got a car seat?" I asked, surprised.

"I didn't actually got it, I _bought _it," he said matter-of-factly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It slipped my mind, I guess. It's not such a big deal, anyways. You were in Forks…," his voice dropped and got strained. "I was missing you, badly, and…I felt guilty. So, I got all the things we needed for our baby. I wanted to feel worthy of you."

"Edward, don't _ever_ doubt yourself. Don't ever doubt you're worthy of me. You have me since I bumped into you at Forks High's parking lot. I _want _you. Forever."

Tears glistened in his eyes, stabbing my heart and filling my own with moist, too.

How could I convince him we belonged together, that I would never ever leave him, that I _could _not leave him?

Oh, he was so insecure and self deprecating. It pained me.

"What's wrong? What can I do?" I asked, panicking and flipping my hands just to do _something._

Edward closed his eyes, took a deep breath and when he opened them again, I found a new form of determination.

"Let's just get home. I don't want the paparazzi to catch us." His voice contained something I couldn't really put a finger on.

Was he hiding something from me?

I didn't take his word, though. I was sure as hell the tears in his eyes weren't just my imagination.

He sighed. "I don't want to talk about it, not now."

"You promise you'll tell me?"

"I promise."

He handed me the car seat, – which you could also use as carrier – opened my door and waited for me to sit down before he securely buckled Auden in.

When he climbed in himself, he didn't even bother to put on music, something he _always _did.

During the forty-something-minute drive, I watched Edward intensely, but couldn't make out what he was hiding.

If he was hiding something at all.

Maybe I was just going paranoid again.

To make it worse, he didn't look me in the eye once.

This was our first real car drive with our newborn daughter, and for me it felt a little like coming back from the hospital. Wasn't that special?

Something was wrong. Really, really wrong. It wasn't just my paranoia.

Edward hit the brakes hard when he stopped in front of the garage of our house.

I hadn't even been paying attention to the road, let alone the houses.

All I'd done was watching Edward.

My brains ran hundred miles a minute trying to figure out Edward's mysterious behavior.

Edward opened my door and unbuckled us, but I didn't take notice.

Not until he stroked my cheeks and spoke out the words I most needed to hear.

"Nothing is _wrong_ Isabella. I'm just anxious. Don't over-think everything," he spoke softly, with true honesty.

"Nothing is wrong?" I double-checked.

"No."

I nodded to myself, demanding my body to relax.

Edward reached for Auden, who was still laying in the carrier that was clutched against my chest.

"May I?"

Did he just seriously ask that?

Gosh, we were totally misreading each other today.

"Jeez Edward, she's your daughter, too! You've just as much say about her than I do," I brought out, totally flabbergasted it made me giggle.

He shrugged his shoulders, flashed that super adorable shy smile of his and pulled our angel into his arms.

Auden clearly made him soften.

Eying those two, the two people in the world I loved most, for who I would fight to the death for, the two creatures I couldn't live without, was something I could never grow tired of.

The sight of them made my eyes water and I thanked the universe for giving me these two angels.

I didn't know what I'd done to deserve them, but I was grateful every freaking second of every freaking day.

"Let's get inside," Edward said, pulling me out of my inner thank you.

He leaned in to kiss my forehead and pressed his lips lovingly and passionate against my head.

With his free hand, he led me to the front door and handed me Auden so he could get our luggage.

Once we were inside, he didn't waste time and immediately took us upstairs.

"But there are letters and packages for us," I protested, having noticed the big amount of packages, letters and even balloons in the entry.

"Later," Edward commanded.

We stopped in front of Auden's door.

"I hope you like it," he said, barely a whisper.

Hoped I liked what?

I wanted to ask him what he meant, but just then Edward opened Auden's door.

I was led into the most beautiful room of the house.

And my first thought was _This is the wrong room. This is not Auden__'__s room._

But yet, there…if you looked hard enough…you could see the Statue of Liberty, and Manhattan's skyscrapers far, far away.

Was this seriously the same room as the one I'd fallen in love with?

The one I was standing in now was painted in light blue, with one wall in a mix and a ceiling that reminded me of the sky. The walls were decorated with butterflies and flowers, and the room was fully furnitured.

Edward chuckled nervously at something and I turned around to see why.

He was standing by the window nook, looking at an unfolded piece of paper, which I recognized as Alice's official signed Silver Texas office paper.

"What?"

"Alice and Jasper let themselves in when they arrived in New York this week, and added the butterflies and flowers," he explained.

"You knew about this?" It slowly dawned on me.

"Of course," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I did all this. Or at least, arranged it. With some help, I have to say."

_How? Why?_ "When?"

"When I had to be in New York for work, and on the days in the week I'd left you. I was angry at myself, and just as with the car I wanted to feel…worthy of you. I wanted to feel as if I deserved you. After a few hours of sketching and painting, though, I got depressed and went out to get myself drunk."

Tears troubled my eyesight, my daughter laid in my arms, but nothing could stop me from hugging the hell out of the most wonderful, most beautiful, most caring and loving man in the universe.

My Edward.

"Hush Bella, you don't have to cry," he soothed me, stroking my back and kissing the crown of my head.

"I'm surprised once again by how well you know me. This room is so beautiful, so us, so Auden. I can't think of any room more beautiful, more perfect," I said sincerely, looking up at him.

He looked down at me with blazing eyes, full of love.

"And I don't want to you to feel unworthy of me," I continued. "It makes me sad to think that you do."

"You say you feel unworthy of me, too, sometimes," he muttered.

"Yes, I do. You're beautiful, inside and out, talented in so many ways, graceful…and well I'm plain, clumsy Bella."

"No, you're not. You're the most beautiful person in the world," he almost spat.

"Let's not talk about this anymore, okay? I love you, I never want to live without you, and I know you feel the same. That's enough for me. Now, I want a tour around the room."

"Bella," Edward chuckled in surprise. "You can see it all from here."

"That's not what I meant, silly. I meant I want you to tell me who has done what, and why you decided to pick the paint, the furniture, you know…"

"You don't like it?"

"Edward! That's not funny! Of course I like it. You know that. I'm just curious."

"Love, maybe it's best to put Auden in her bed. I bet she's quite exhausted, and a yelling mother doesn't really help."

"Edw…," I started.

I was cut off by Edward himself, using the one method that always worked to get me silent, calm, comforted…hell it worked with everything.

His lips covered mine in a silencing kiss.

Cheater.

"You are so not fair," I sulked.

"Bella, don't start that one again."

I pouted at him.

His eyes lit up at my pout, but he acted cool and unmoved. "Won't work, Isabella. You want the tour or not?"

With a sigh, I gave in and carefully laid Auden down in her new bed.

I stood still to admire the cute little crib. Beautiful and perfect in its simplicity.

So perfect for my daughter.

I felt an arm being laid around my shoulders, and I looked up in my fiancé's breathtaking beautiful eyes, getting lost in the swimming pools of emerald green.

"Another talent to add to the long list of your talents," I breathed.

"And what is that?"

"Interior designing. I didn't know you had it in you, but being Esme Cullen-Platt's son clearly has left it's mark on you."

"I always loved to watch my mum while she was busy sketching and designing, to help her picking furniture, paint, frames and so on. It was very fascinating. Just as watching you sleep," he shrugged.

I flushed.

* * *

The packages, letters and balloons turned out to be from our families, friends and everyone else we knew.

_You__'__re welcome and you love us, we know _was written on that familiar paper and handwriting that was Alice's.

I rolled my eyes at my best friend's words.

She was such a crazy, a sweet and caring crazy that is.

"You knew about this, too?" I questioned Edward.

"They might have hinted about it, but no."

"Well, at least we don't have to worry that Auden won't have enough clothes, toys, teddies…"

"Our daughter is already being spoiled," he laughed.

"Not that we mind," I brought in.

"No, we don't," Edward admitted.

With a bowl of chips and soda, we snuggled up on the couch in the living room, enjoying just being together in our own house, with our daughter asleep upstairs.

* * *

I was getting ready for today's event, Edward's TV interview with Stephenie, and while I looked into the mirror appraising my outfit, my thoughts wandered back to a few days ago.

I'd been nervous as hell for the magazine interview, but I knew it was the right choice.

Hell, there wasn't even a choice.

It was just right.

I wasn't nervous because I was scared.

It was just like your first school day. I didn't know what to expect and I didn't want to leave a negative impression.

Richard Crall had been a kind and enthusiastic man, being very understanding and not pressing us – me – even a bit.

I hadn't felt uncomfortable telling him about Edward and me.

He'd asked smart and well-thought-of questions and gave us the time to answer, not showing impatience _once_, and promised to send us the final piece before he would hand it in.

"This is all about you two. All I did was write it down," he'd said.

Understandably, he was curious to see the little angel that was Edward Cullen's daughter and of whom was written so much.

We proudly showed him our little girl.

Just as she'd done with everyone who'd laid our eyes on her, it seemed as if Auden bedazzled him.

Richard had clearly been smitten by her.

"Gorgeous little creature," he'd brought out.

Before he'd left, he took a set of photos of us, directing we mustn't pose, but just sit/stand how we felt most comfortable.

After a mere one and a half hour after he'd arrived, Richard Crall had walked out of the Cullen Manhattan penthouse.

"We should have dinner one time, Richard," Edward had proposed.

"Yes, we should. Just ring me. I'll be in New York till the summer holiday. Then I'll join my daughter, she goes to college in Sydney."

"That's a long way."

"Hell it is, but Strummer's a strong kid," he had smiled, before taking his leave.

I was brought out of my musings by a knock on the door, before Edward walked in. I inspected myself in the mirror once more, took a deep breath and headed towards him.

"I was wondering what was taking you so long," he murmured.

"Yeah, sorry," I coughed.

"You don't have to be nervous. All you have to do is sit and watch me. Knowing you, I don't think that will be hard for you," he grinned.

I flushed.

"No, I'm not nervous. I just got caught up in my mind."

"About what?" he asked suspiciously, arching his eyebrows.

And…flush number two.

"Memories of the magazine interview."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

Edward was now grinning like a fool.

Jeez, he had such a huge ego.

"While you enjoy the boost to your ego, I'll pick up Angela."

"I actually wanted to drop off Auden at my mum's."

"Oh, but I thought we could drop her off after I've picked up Ang. I'm sure Angela will be thrilled to see Auden again."

He nodded.

"I won't be long," I murmured, drawing him closer to me with my hand in the nape of his neck.

"I'll hold you to that," he whispered huskily, his breath on my skin giving me goose bumps.

I stood on my tiptoes so I could kiss him.

Edward surprised me by embracing me fiercely and lifting me off the floor.

My squeal got lost in his mouth.

* * *

"Edward, I don't know…" I said in a small voice, looking at the set of keys he was holding in his hand.

"Bella, it's yours, too."

"I know, it's just…it's so _huge_."

"But you said you liked it."

"I do, I really do, but I hadn't thought about using it myself that soon."

"Why not? And how are you planning to get to Angela's hotel if you don't want to use it?"

"I don't know how to explain…"

"You didn't answer my second question. How were you planning picking up Angela?"

He had me there.

I just thought I would go with our car, but that was before I realized the _size _of our new car.

"Can't I drive the silver one?" I tried.

"She's still in Washington, Bella. Emmett said he was okay driving it east here, but Rosalie wasn't too fond of that idea. Maybe I'll go get it myself."

"Oh."

"Bella, the XC60 is as safe and sound as a car can be."

I let out a sigh as a form of a last reluctance, and gave in.

"Okay, okay. I will take the black SUV."

I grassed the keys out of his hands without looking at his face – I didn't need to see he'd gotten another boost to his ego – and stomped off to the door.

_Of course, _Edward was faster than me and had me pressed against his chest before I could have even touch the door knob.

"I love you," he said sincerely, leaning in to briefly kiss me before he walked off to the living room again, leaving me hanging once again.

Have I already said Edward's such a cheater?

Well, he is.

An annoying and big cheater.

I hadn't realized how much I'd missed Angela till we greeted each other with a hug.

"Missed you, Ang."

"Missed you, too Bell."

I leaded her to the Volvo, which was parked around the corner.

"Is that your car?" Angela asked.

"Yeah," I blushed.

_I hate you Edward Cullen._

"Edward bought it," I explained.

"Ah, I see," she smiled.

We settled in the car, and Local Natives quietly filled the car.

"Have you heard from that editor?"

"Actually, I did. Guess what she said?"

"No way! How incredible. I told you she would like it."

I smiled shyly.

"How's life in the rainy north west?"

"Just the same. I can't complain thought, only that my best friends live so far away."

"Sorry. At least you've got Eric and Ty."

"Yeah, what would I do without Tyler?" she exclaimed dramatically.

We laughed together.

"Jacob Black called me the other day," Angela said in a small voice.

"What? He called _you_? You two don't even know each other that well. How did he get your number?"

"I've been thinking about that, too. I can only guess he called Charlie and convinced your father to give him our number."

"Gah."

"He sounded pretty desperate. He said he couldn't reach you, or any of the Cullens. He wanted to see you."

"And what did you say?"

"I said that it wasn't my business, and that I couldn't do anything for him."

"Right," I nodded.

"Have you purposely ignored his calls?"

"Well…I haven't turned it on in a while. All the calls go through Edward or the house phone. I was too much in my bliss."

I looked straight forward, pretending to concentrate on the road while I knew it by heart.

"You up for some shopping tomorrow?" I proposed, frantically wanting to get my mind of the Jacob-issue.

"I thought you would never ask," she joked, pretending to be hurt. "I bet they've got much cooler stores here than in Seattle."

"New York _does_ have the only TopShop in the US," I chuckled.

"Really? Ah Bella, can we go there?" Angela asked, excitingly.

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "Of course."

The rest of the drive was spent talking about this and that, and inevitably Auden came up and I – as a proud and new mother – couldn't shut up about how awesome and beautiful and adorable my daughter was.

Angela listened patiently and didn't seem to tire from my rambles.

I parked the car swiftly on the drive and couldn't hold back the smug grin concealing how I hadn't hit anything in my clumsiness and had been able to park the Volvo almost perfectly.

Edward noticed my grin, of course.

"What are you so smug about, Isabella," he said, not entirely succeeding in keeping the humor out of his voice.

"Nothing," I retorted, faking innocence, while walking to the kitchen to prepare some quick meal for us before we would drop off Auden and head to the studio.

"Hi Angela," Edward welcomed Angela, keeping his eyes on me.

"Hey Edward," she greeted.

"Can we drop off Auden now?" he asked, taking an apple from the fruit bowl.

"I'm just making something to eat, and then we can go," I answered, not looking up at him, but stealing glances from out the corner of my eye.

"Angela, is it okay if we drop off Auden at Edward's mother in Brooklyn, and then head to the studios? If you're too tired or anything, you can also stay here, if you want," I turned to Angela.

"No Bella, don't worry, I'm perfectly fine. I'm okay with your plan."

"Good," I smiled, relieved.

"I'll go get Auden," Edward said, sliding off the bar stool and tossing the leftover core of the apple in the trash can.

I watched him with goo goo eyes, probably.

Angela chuckled. "You still got it bad for him, Bella. Still the same look as the moment you first saw him."

I blushed.

"Don't be ashamed of that. It's a good thing. Not many people can say they're still together with their first love, who's also a mega famous actor. You should be proud of that, Bella."

"Thanks. It's hard sometimes, but all worth it."

Angela walked around the bar and hugged me.

"You rock, Bell."

"I can say the same about you, Ang."

I let go when I heard Edward's voice murmuring soft words to Auden, and it didn't take long for him to walk in the kitchen.

A happy smile crept onto my face and when Edward saw it, he invited me against his chest by opening his arm.

I closed the gap and crawled into him as much as I could, sniffling his scent contently.

"Hey angel," I greeted my daughter, placing a soft kiss on her tiny nose.

Edward drawled me closer and kissed the crook of my head, the feeling of his breath flowing over my head giving me goose bumps.

The ringing of Edward's cell phone – BlackBerry had sent him a new cell phone after they discovered he'd 'lost' his phone – brought us out of our bubble, and I realized Angela was in the room, too.

Gosh, I was such a bad friend.

While Edward took up his phone, I shot Angela an apologetically look.

"I'm sorry about err…that," I apologized.

"It's okay. Once again, don't worry about me," she reassured.

"Ladies, that was my sister. She asked us why we weren't at the studios already."

"Alice?" I asked.

Although I thought Honor Rose had gone from Coachella directly to Vancouver, it could be she'd chosen to spend a few days in New York first and accompany Alice, Angela and me to Edward's interview.

"Yes," Edward confirmed.

I looked at my watch frantically, to see we still had over two and a half hours.

Edward noticed. "She likes to be ahead of things. Alice doesn't like stress."

Angela and I both chuckled.

"But we should get going. Pissed off Alice is no fun."

I grabbed my bag, alongside Auden's and followed Edward and Angela out of the door, closing off.

Due to the small amount of time we'd left, the goodbye at the Cullens' Brooklyn townhouse was short.

Edward grabbed my hand when we pulled off, and I could see his eyes were moist, just as mine.

"My mum knows how to take care of her," he said softly, trying to sooth both me and himself.

As soon as we walked into the studio, Edward got pulled to the make-up department and Alice pulled along me and Angela.

"There you guys are finally," she scolded.

"Can't I say good luck to Edward anymore?"

She sighed.

"What? We always do that," I said.

"Bella, although you and Edward are not as physical and showing-off as Emmett and Rosalie, saying good luck in your vocabulary doesn't cover what it practically means."

I blushed.

"Please, Alice?"

I didn't know why I was asking permission to Alice to be able to go see Edward before he would go up.

"Not that I can stop you. Just don't get pissy on me when they don't let you."

"Thank you!" I beamed, surprising Alice by taking her in a hug that competed with Emmett's bone cracking hug style.

I made my way through the audience, accidentally stepping on people's feet.

"She'll mess up his make-up for sure," I heard Alice sigh to Angela.

I followed the signs saying make-up department, growing more nervous with every step I took.

Who said he was still in there?

How embarrassing would it be if I walked in and asked for Edward Cullen, and he wouldn't be there anymore.

They sure as hell would think I was some obsessive stalker and would throw me out.

I took a deep breath before I knocked on the door that was said to be the make-up room.

"Yeah?"

Shyly, I walked in.

"Isabella, love!" Edward exclaimed, sitting in a chair and getting fixed up for TV.

"Ah, thank heavens you're still in here," I let out, plopping down on the chair next to him in spontaneous braveness.

"Hey," he whispered huskily, leaning over to kiss me.

"Mister Cullen, don't move please. And don't mess up your make-up. Although you're as handsome as the Greek gods, the TV lights won't be nice to even your beauty," the make-up lady accused him.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," he composed himself, giving me a secret smile.

"It's okay my fiancée sits with me, right?" he asked the lady.

"Of course, of course. So, this is your fiancée?"

"Yes, this is my Isabella."

"Bella," I corrected him.

"Well, nice to meet you Bella. You've got quite a good catch," she winked at me.

"I can't disagree with you," I smiled.

"Okay Edward, you're done. Don't get your make-up messed up. I won't fix it for you when you do," she warned him.

"Not to insult you, Libby, but I'm sure there are lots of make-up people who will be willing to fix my make-up if I ask them," Edward said.

Libby gave him the stink eye.

"Bye Libby," Edward laughed, standing up and giving me his hand to take.

"Where are we going?" I asked him when he walked off to a corridor I didn't know.

"I'm going to show you around," he said matter-of-factly, turning his face so I could see he was wearing my crooked smile.

* * *

"Today I have a very, very special guest. Someone who's very dear to me and who I admire deeply. He's one of the most terrific and talented actors this earth has ever known. He's a heartbreaking musician and too handsome for words. Please welcome Edward Cullen!" Stephenie announced Edward.

Although I wasn't ready – and probably never would – to be in the public eye on that way, I wanted to be there. For him.

Edward had been on Stephenie's show before and knew the backstage like the back of his hand, and dragged me along the corridors, showing me every room behind every door.

He was in such a happy mood, it was very contagious.

With TV interviews, he was much more at ease, since he knew his words couldn't be so easily twisted.

Now he could show the real him.

My uber hot fiancé got welcomed by loud applause and screams.

Alice and Angela had come along – Jess had landed a two-week intern at a highly praised photographer's company in Dublin and Mike was holding her company, taking his school work with him – and rolled our eyes at each other.

Edward looked oh so fuckable in his low hanging jeans, worn off Vans, tee and plaid blouse.

His bronze hair was unruly as always.

Why could he always get away with hair which looked as if he just got fucked, and I couldn't?

A blush appeared on my face when I thought about our…err…hot sex in a deserted room somewhere backstage.

I really hoped the walls were soundproof, or even more there weren't any cameras.

Edward scanned the audience and broke into his crooked smile when he spotted us.

While walking to his chair, he waved at us, totally at ease.

I shyly waved back.

Stephenie stood up to hug Edward, and afterwards settled back in her chair.

"So, Edward, to cut the crap…How is it to be a dad?"

"Overwhelming," he confessed. "Every day, I learn something new, discover more about my daughter. She makes me know myself better, too."

"Don't you feel like you're too young, that you don't go to miss things. You've got a little less freedom now, after all."

"No," he said reluctantly. "I've never had an urge to be wild and go clubbing. I don't feel as if I'm missing out on stuff. I've got everything I want around me. My family, my friends, my fiancée, my daughter, and I love doing what I do for a living."

"So, do you think being a father will influence taking on roles?"

Edward scratched himself behind the ear.

"Eh…I don't think so," he drawled out. "But, of course, I want to have enough time left to spend with my fiancée, daughter and family. So, I guess there's a price to pay, yes. Which I willingly will do."

"Now mentioning roles and such, is there a specific role you've always wanted to play or want to play in the future?"

"When I was younger, I wanted to be like James Dean. He was my hero. All I wanted to be when I would be older was riding a motorcycle, looking hot in Levi's and Ray Bans."

"Really?" Stephenie asked amused.

"Yeah, not the most original, but true. Who doesn't want to be like James Dean? I wish I would have known him."

"May he rest in peace."

Edward nodded.

"My sister Honor Rose has this remembrance wall in her apartment, with framed photos of people who passed away too soon."

"Who are the special ones?"

"James Dean, Jeff Buckley…her _big _crushes, her other crush is Kings of Leon bass-player Jared Followill by the way. Err…Heath Ledger, Alexander McQueen…," he trailed off.

"You're pretty close with Honor Rose, aren't you?"

"I'm close with my entire family, and I've got a different bond with every one of them. Hon and I do have a close bond, yes. Although Alice is my little sister, too….she hates it if I call her like that, but I don't care…But Alice, she wouldn't take my protection. We're like twins, equals. Emmett is really the oldest, he's the mock. He looks over us from a distance, secretly."

"And so you feel more protective over Honor?"

"You could say it like that. We're the only," he paused, thinking of how to word what he wanted to say, how to express. "…we're the only fulltime actors. My siblings have an acting job occasionally, but Honor and I really do it for a living. That shapes a bond.

Honor has had a difficult childhood, with lots of struggles. I never want her to go through such inner pain and doubt ever again, and I will do anything to protect her against it. She's my little sister. She understands me on levels nobody can, not even my fiancée. Honor has helped me with my own stuff, too. Often not on purpose, but just by being who she is, being there for me. I know she'll always be there for me, silent, not sticky."

Stephenie awed, and the whole audience had gone silent of adoration and awe.

"Now, to show you a little of Edward and Honor's bond, we've got an exclusive look behind the scenes of _Occupy_ _Rangers_, which the siblings filmed in London from December to February."

'_Hi, I__'__m Honor Rose Cullen, and you__'__re here on the set of Occupy Rangers,__'__ Honor introduced the video, being her utter relaxed self. _

'_My trailer,__'__ she explained, pointing at one of the star wagons. _

_She walked on to the next one._

'_And this is my brother__'__s. Let__'__s see if he__'__s up already.__'_

The rest of the video showed the two of them in make-up and wardrobe department, filming scenes, having lunch and a small interview.

"I hadn't seen that before," Edward said, after the video had ended, pointing to the screen.

Stephenie smiled.

"We've talked about fatherhood and family, but that wasn't what you wanted to talk about, right?"

"No."

"Enlighten me, enlighten the audience, and most of all enlighten the world," she encouraged him.

First, Edward thanked Stephenie for giving him this opportunity.

I moved on my seat, knowing what would come now was where it all came down on.

Edward cleared his throat and I could see him taking a deep breath.

Oh, how badly did I want to sit down on his lap, stroke his cheek and assure him everything would be fine.

Alice looked at me from the corner of her eye and smiled at me, encouraging not only me but herself too.

I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

Then he spoke.

In his beautiful voice he mesmerized the world, telling about us, about our love, and what I meant to him.

In that instant, it was as if he was just talking to me.

There was no talk show host sitting opposite him, there was no audience, and there were no cameras and no million counting audience watching this on TV or internet.

It was just us.

Us in our Edward and Bella bubble.

"As you may all know, I'm engaged. I'm also a hit for the paparazzi. So is my fiancée. We frequently cover gossip magazines. Now, I know paparazzi and bullshit stories are part of being famous, and although I don't like it, I've accepted it. But I don't want them to promote some image of her being this evil person who's only with me because of my money. Because she's not. She's perfect, and I love her more than words can express. She's honest, beautiful, smart-minded, and isn't afraid to put me in the dog house once in a while.I couldn't imagine loving anyone else more, and she's given me the most precious gift in our daughter. I just hope the paparazzi stop spreading lies about her, about us."

* * *

I felt so out of place here.

Edward and I were standing in front of the most luxurious restaurant of New York, just after the valet had taken our car to the parking lot.

The critics were said to be terrific and the view breathtaking.

Nonetheless, the whole place and the people dining here were _way _out of my league.

Okay, Edward was too, but since he still stuck with me after more than five years, I'd accepted it was just how it was. By some miracle, he'd fallen for more, and I was more than happy he did. I couldn't complain about it.

"Bella, we're just going to have dinner with Stephenie and her husband," Edward reassured, feeling my uneasiness.

"Just dinner? The salads are already more expensive than what I get paid a day!" I exclaimed.

Edward shot me a warning look, saying I had to keep my voice down.

"You don't work, Bella."

"Yes, I do! I write."

"Have you delivered a book?" He questioned.

"Well…uhm…"

Ah shit. It was supposed to be a surprise for Edward.

Recently, I'd finished a collection of poems and short stories, and Angela had helped me finding a perfect editor, since she knew the editing world.

Surprisingly, the editor had found my work terrific and the collection would get published in a few months time, around Edward's birthday.

The perfect surprise birthday present.

Luckily, Edward misinterpreted my awkward sounds and we walked up the steps.

He held me steady, since I was in _high _heels and had given birth just three weeks ago.

Alice had picked my outfit, which consisted of a cream-colored dress of this brand called Lela Rose, dark blue glossy Christian Louboutins and a black Burberry trench, which she'd had given me for Christmas one year.

A man asked for our coats, and Edward – the ever gentleman – took off my coat and handed it to him.

The hostess gave Edward a look which had become familiar to me.

Possessively, I planted a firm kiss on Edward's lips and placed my left hand visibly on his chest, showing off my I-don't-know-how-many-carats-and-I-don't-want-to-know-the-answer-either diamond engagement ring.

She huffed at me in response.

"I should get you jealous more often," Edward whispered in my ear, too low for the bitch-hostess – who was leading us to our table – to hear.

"Don't mess with me, Edward," I warned him.

I wouldn't be responsible for my actions if he made me seeing beyond green.

"Oh, I actually think I will," he tempted.

Stephenie and her husband were already seated.

And _of course _we probably had the best table of the restaurant, with the best view…which truly was breathtaking yes.

"Oh Bella, you look lovely," she exclaimed.

On cue, I blushed.

"Just say thank you. Whether you mean it or not," Edward ordered me, whispering in my ear once again.

"Err…thank you Stephenie."

"Bella, this is my husband Chris. Chris, this is Edward's fiancée Isabella Swan."

"Nice meeting you. I've heard a lot about you."

"Nice meeting you, too. I wish I could say I've heard a lot about you as well, but I haven't," I confessed.

Chris laughed.

Edward chose my food and drinks, since I'd _no _idea what everything meant and included.

He knew me well enough to know what I liked and disliked, and the fact he knew me better than anyone else was proven right when the things he'd picked for me were delicious.

"Why did you decide to start an own talk show?" I asked Stephenie between courses.

"Well, I've always been very talkative and loved to hear other people's stories, and having a laugh with celebrities. I wanted to show the world they're just as much human as we are, having crazy habits and guilty pleasures. That kind of stuff."

I smiled, nodding understandingly.

"You watch talk shows yourself?"

Before I could answer, Edward blurred out, "She's a big Ellen fan."

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are."

I gave him a stink look.

Yes, if I had to choose my favorite talk show, it would be the Ellen DeGeneres Show, although Jimmy Fallon was hilarious too, but I wasn't going to say that right into the face of Stephenie.

"Okay, I admit Honor and Maya have got it worse, but if you don't record every episode and prefer to wear your hand signed Ellen tee every time you watch it."

_Edward!_

Jeez, he was really driving the Emmett road. You might not think they were brothers, and qua looks they didn't look a like that much, but they both knew how to annoy the hell out of you.

And how to not let you be angry on them for too long.

My cheeks had gone a deep pink and felt as if they were lit by fire, and being in such a place as we were now I couldn't make a scene out of scolding Edward.

When we get home, though…oh, he's so in the dog house tonight.

But to my relief, Stephenie didn't seem hurt by the fact I favored a concurrent.

The dinner flowed by and we made small talk.

Stephenie and Chris had had three boys for years when she finally got her secret wish fulfilled and they welcomed their first daughter, coincidentally named Isabella, too.

Knowing I didn't have the biggest appetite, Edward had picked meals with small amounts and I was finished first.

Satisfied, I scooted my chair closer to Edward and leaned in his side, not caring about the crazy protocols you had in fancy restaurants.

I felt him smile in my hair, which he softly kissed.

"You're full?" he asked.

"Yeah," I admitted.

"Okay."

I giggled at the tone of his voice and the choice of word.

"Something funny, Isabella?" he asked, amused.

"You."

"What's with me, now?"

"You're funny," I giggled still.

"I am, am I? Well, I wouldn't want you to get bored with me."

"Oh don't worry, I never will."

"That's a good thing, because I don't think I will ever let you leave me."

Although Edward said it in an amused and relaxed tone, I knew he was serious.

* * *

**Next up is London!**

**Edward (and Emmett, Alice, Honor and Carlisle) sometimes use the British pronunciation/spelling over the American, since Carlisle is British and has grown up with it, and Edward and his siblings have copied that, along the fact they****'****ve gone to primary school mainly in London(especially Honor), leading to the fact they had to use British English during the time they were learning/increasing their vocabulary. Plus, they****'****ve worked on English productions very often. You could call it a habit.  
****Esme, Jasper and Rosalie are 100 percent American, and although Esme loves the British accent + pronunciation, they all use American spelling/pronunciation.**

Jeff Buckley – Back in N.Y.C.  
Kings of Leon – Only By The Night  
Kings of Leon – Fans  
Snow Patrol – Perfect Little Secret  
Local Natives – Gorilla Manor  
The Smiths – The Sound of the Smiths  
Broken Bells – Broken Bells (Totally addicted to The Ghost Inside, the intro is _awesome_)


	19. When In London

**_DATING FAME  
_**_**chapter 19: When In London**_

**to London,  
****the most beautiful, awesome place/city in the world.  
****The place I feel home.**

**"For there is in London all that life can afford."  
~****_unknown_**

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* * *

_

**At last, at last, at last. Beyond sorry for the long wait. This chaper was a killer. Although I had finished the 'rough' version over a month ago, it took me a long time to get it just right. Thanks to all of those who reviewed, favourited and subscribed to this story. I'm more than grateful. I hope to have chapter 20 up soon.**

**Many hugs to my super awesome beta _With The What Now_.**

**Oh, and just to say: the Cullens play soccer football not American football football.**

* * *

"Emmett, seriously, take it down, will ya?" Edward exclaimed, coming from the restrooms and walking past his brother, who sat a row in front of us and who was practically jumping like a 5-year-old while waiting for the plane to take off.

Proving right, Emmett childishly stuck out his tongue to his little brother.

Edward rolled his eyes and took his seat next to me.

"Hello darling," he smiled that crooked smile of his.

"Hi," I squeaked, sounding like a complete fool.

"You okay, Isabella?" he chuckled, nuzzling my nose with his own.

"Uh-uh," was all I could bring out.

"Hey sir, sir-y," Emmett called for a flight attendant.

"Yes, sir?"

"Which movies are screened?"

"You can read all about that in the flyer."

"I know, but I'm asking you, am I not?"

"Emmett," Esme disapproved. "I'm sorry," she apologized to the poor man.

Edward rolled his eyes and I could hear Alice giggle.

The flight from JFK to Gatwick – although Heathrow was closer to our residence, my in-laws-to-be loved to arrive at one of London's smaller airports – flew by, thanks to the selection of movies we could watch in premier class and just rambling around with the others.

And, of course, having Edward next to me and in hand-reach.

Although papz hardly looked back to Gatwick, it didn't mean we could just walk through the airport going unnoticed.

Edward and his siblings were asked to sign multiple goodies and pose for photos, but they didn't seem to mind.

My fiancé looked so on ease and relaxed; it almost made me swoon.

"What?" he questioned, catching me eying him, having just signed a promotional poster of _Remember Me_.

I shook my head.

"Isabella."

Ah ah, my lips were sealed. Hell no was I going to tell him what was on my mind. His ego had been boosted more than enough the past couple of days.

"Isabella, one last time," he warned me.

"And then what?" I squeaked.

Edward pulled up his eyebrows.

Jeez, I couldn't resist him if he was giving me that look.

"I like seeing you so carefree and relaxed," I mumbled, looking away.

"Does that embarrass you?"

"Not really."

"Why didn't you want to tell me? Why are you blushing, and why are you not meeting my eye?"

I shrugged.

Suddenly I was in his arms, cradled against his chest.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. You make me happy, _you _make me feel carefree," he breathed in my hair.

I shivered, and not only from his breath prickling on my scalp.

"Hey lovebirds! Limo is here!" Emmett's voice boomed across the arriving hall.

We looked up.

"Yes, I'm talking to you there, yes," he continued.

Edward and I rolled our eyes.

"I don't know how I've survived those years I had to live with him," Edward muttered under his breath while we made our way back to the rest.

Honor was on the phone, smiling, and absentmindedly picking at her dark grey painted nails.

Carlisle had an arm draped around Esme's shoulders and was laughing at something with Jasper and Alice.

Esme was holding Auden, who was dressed in Union Jack leggings, soft shoes for babies and an XXXXXXS vintage band shirt of The Smiths. They were one of Edward's favorite bands – and that says something – and when he purchased himself one of their t-shirts, he couldn't resist to get one for Auden, too. He'd even managed to get it signed by all the band members.

_Talking about influence and connections here._

I know, right.

Since none of us had a car ready in London, and a car _big enough _to fit the ten of us, Carlisle – or Emmett, actually – had arranged a limo to pick us up from the airport.

"Em, seriously, why are so fucking jumpy?" Edward questioned his brother, who was once again jumping all over the place…err…car.

"What the fuck is your problem, Cullen?"

"It's driving me fucking crazy, okay? I've flown five hours ahead in time, I'm fucking tired and then you're coming along…being over energetic…"

"I guess I'm just really happy to be back in town. London is fan-fucking-tastic."

"I can't deny that," Edward sighed, glancing out of the windows.

Besides the villa near Forks, a penthouse in Manhattan, townhouse in Brooklyn and an apartment in Santa Monica, my in-laws also owned a lovely house in London, the house they'd lived in during their years in the city.

Jasper was softly playing his guitar, and it didn't take long before Edward took out his guitar too and together they played a Beatles song and one of The Smiths.

"Edward, I don't deny you've got a fucking glorious voice, but I'm sorry mate…you can never beat Morrisey's voice," Emmett said.

"Nobody can. He's got one of the strangest voices on the planet."

"A fucking beautiful voice that is," Honor fell in.

"You know your stuff, Cullen," Emmett commented, earning him a slap on his arm.

* * *

I really hadn't been to London enough times.

It was by far my favorite city I'd ever visited, and that's saying something, because since I've been together with an actor I've seen many cities; from Montreal, Canada to Tokyo, Japan.

Seeing the Cullens moving through the British capital with such ease didn't make it hard to miss they had a special place in their hearts for her.

Especially Carlisle.

This was the place he was born, where he'd spent his childhood and youth _and _where he'd met Esme.

When we took the underground to Hyde Park, I asked him about it.

"Why did you ever leave your native town?"

"I wanted to see the world," he smiled. "Then, I met Esme again, and I didn't want to live anywhere she didn't."

"And you moved back to London, because…?"

"Because I couldn't resist her call anymore. Esme has always been fond of London, too. Plus, the kids loved it when we went to England for the holidays and such. Then, this gorgeous and perfect house came free, and we saw it as our chance to move."

"But then you moved to LA county."

"Yes. That was pure tactical. The kids still had to be in the US quite often and having six children with only two adults…They had to bail out of many projects and games just because they lived across the ocean. I know there are actors who've worked it out and have a good balance, and I'm sure we could have found a way too, but this was about our children. Esme and I didn't want our children to practically grow up apart, we wanted to stay _one _family."

"You never think of moving back again?"

"Absolutely, especially now, but I love my work at Forks hospital, and our house. I've peace with how it is. I'm a happy and healthy man, with an amazing wife and terrific children. I couldn't wish for more."

We both smiled.

In Hyde Park we met with Edward's uncles, aunts and cousins.

Many of them sported a reddish hair tint, clearly inherited from their deceased Irish grandmother Helen Cavanaugh-Cullen.

Two goals were created and someone fished out a ball from a bag.

"Edward, Eitan, pick teams," Carlisle's older brother John ordered.

He reminded me a lot of Emmett; bulky, _very _muscular, but also having a child-like expression.

"Why Edward?" Emmett whined.

"Cos he's a better football player than you."

"He's not."

"Yes, he is."

"Guys, I want to play football here. Stop the crap will you," Harrison – the daughter of Robin – complained.

Alice couldn't play due to her pregnancy and Billie had just injured her leg, and kept her pregnant cousin company.

Together they baby sat Tristan, Auden and the several dogs the Cullen family had brought along.

"Okay, Eit, you may pick first," John said, since he'd won the toss of the coin.

Eitan grinned and looked in my direction.

Edward looked back and forth between us. "No," he growled. "Don't you dare."

"Edward, take it down an notch."

"Eitan just wants to pick Bella because he knows_ I_ wanted to choose her."

"He won, so he may choose first."

"I choose….," Eitan smiled, giving Edward a look before he turned back to me, "…the beautiful Bella."

The moment my name had fallen from Eitan's lips, Edward lunged for his throat.

"Edward, leave it. It's just a game, okay?"

Edward didn't listen.

"Em," Carlisle called.

He didn't need to say it twice.

Emmett took his brother in a hold and held Edward's arms securely behind his back.

"This is so not fucking fair. He just does this to fucking mock me. Fuck this game," Edward cried out.

"Edward, this is just how he wants you to react. Be the smarter one," Jasper told Edward.

Edward closed his eyes for a few second and took a deep breath before he opened them again.

"Alright, alright. Em, you can release me now."

Emmett looked to Carlisle, and after he'd nodded, released Edward.

"Don't think you can just get away with this, Cullen," Edward pointed at Eitan, no hint of any bluff.

"Edward, your turn to choose."

All this time, I hadn't moved an inch.

My fiancé shot his cousin a cold glance – if looks could kill… - and sulkily chose someone for his own team.

Rosalie was chosen for my team, too, much to Emmett's delight. He was in Edward's team, and unlike his brother, didn't mind to play against his lover.

I was glad we'd such big teams, so I didn't have that much to do.

I hadn't gone back to my old condition yet, after having giving birth, and didn't have much energy either.

Together with Esme and Sian I was dwelling behind, but Eitan motioned me to play in the up front, which made me stand right in front of Edward.

My…how could he look so fuckably hot and beautiful at any time, whatever he was doing?

"C'mon Edward, man up, don't let your woman win. She knows how to play," Emmett whined after Edward had refused once again to tackle me so I could pass him.

"Yeah Edward, man up," I cried.

"Do I have to now, Miss Swan?" he retorted.

I swallowed.

Fuck, he looked hot. Had I already mentioned that?

I believe I had. But well, it was the plain truth, and it hit me every time I looked at him.

I probably looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Before I could find back my intellectual powers or coherent anything, Edward had crushed his lips to mine, embracing me in a tight hug.

"Ah man, these two really don't know their limits, don't they? Can't they keep their hands off each other for just a minute?"

"You don't want to sit in a room with my family, believe me. Esme and Carlisle; Rosalie and Emmett; Alice and Jasper; Bella and Edward. The love and hunger for the other is almost tangible in the air. It's sickening sometimes," a voice sighed, which I recognized as Honor's.

"Okay, you know what, I think it's the best to call this game to an end," somebody proposed.

"I think so, too."

"Alright, everyone, game's over," Carlisle announced.

"We could go catch a movie at Leicester Square before heading to grandpa," Honor suggested.

"Cool idea, Hon," Edward said, pulling back from moving his lips over my jaw so I could breathe.

He absently stroked my cheek while discussing the plans with his family.

"I love you," he whispered.

"As I love you," I breathed.

"Alright dear family, the plan is to catch a movie at the Odeon. Anyone against Leicester Square? If you don't want to go, you can go shopping or anything."

I already knew who would choose for the latter option.

"It depends on if there are any cool films to see."

"Sure there are."

I was torn in between.

Catching a movie meant sitting next to Edward in a darkened room. Oh, already the thought of the intensity that would flow between us made my body tinkle.

Go shopping meant I could be with my daughter.

Fuck.

"What?" Edward asked concerned, seeing my knitted brows.

"I want to catch a movie with you, but that means Auden can't come with."

"Well, I can go shopping with you, and her. We can always catch a movie another time."

"You would want that?"

"I want you," he shrugged, matter-of-factually.

Uh, what was my name again?

"You want that, too?" Edward asked.

"You mean me? If I want myself?"

"No, Isabella. I'm the only one who is allowed to want you, remember? I meant if you want me to go shopping with you."

"Uh…" was all I could bring out, so I nodded.

We split up in two groups, one catching a film and the other going out to hunt down the streets of London for the perfect purchases.

"Edward, where do you think you're going?" Alice accused when she noticed Edward was holding my hand and walked along with the shopping group.

"I'm going shopping with Bella," he stated.

"Edward, you can't!" she exclaimed. "I was going to take her out for gown shopping."

"That can wait. I want to go shopping with my woman."

"One last time, Cullen…" Alice hissed.

"Try and stop me," he told his sister and turned to me, totally ignoring her. "So, where do you want to begin?"

"Urban Outfitters. Maybe some clothes shopping for Auden. Oh, and HMV," I summed up.

"As you wish, my lady," Edward said with a bow, making me giggle.

I waved at Alice and mouthed "sorry" as Edward leaded me to Oxford St.

At Urban Outfitters, I purchased two new tees, a dress, two notepads, a bunch of paperbacks, a photo portfolio of this street photographer for Maya and Music Listography for Edward, who got himself two new blouses, a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, too.

"You know, Bella, I think I might buy a house of my own in London one day," he mused when we strolled down Oxford Street.

"Why so?"

"Cos London is a fucking damn awesome city. Paparazzi ain't that aggressive and pushy as in the US. Plus, Brits are hilarious witty people. I like the vibe that goes around here. My sort of vibe. I've always had a soft spot for London. It's impossible to explain. I just know it, know it is there."

"It's a great idea, Edward," I said sincerely.

He looked down at me, pulling up his eyebrows.

"What?"

"You mean it?"

"I lost you, Edward."

"You would want to live in London, with me?"

"Well…I would have to think about moving here for real, getting around the idea you know. But to answer your question: yes, I would want to live here, with you. I would love to. But not before I've found a job."

"I can find you one in a second," he beamed.

"I don't doubt that," I said, rolling my eyes. "But I rather find one on my own, okay?"

"Okay. Can I already look for houses?" he asked excitingly, still beaming.

"If it makes you happy," I smiled.

He nodded wildly.

"Right now, I just want Starbucks, though."

"If it makes you happy," he quoted me.

I slapped him playfully.

"The usual?" he asked, while we were standing in line.

"Yep."

"Anything else?"

I peeked at the counter, looking at the things to eat. "Uhm, a smoothie, mango. And you can pick me something to eat."

Edward looked, too. "Cinnamon cake okay with you?"

If he didn't know the damn answer already.

I loved cinnamon almost as bad as I loved Edward.

Why?

Because it's smell and scent made me think of him, somehow.

"You know the answer, Cullen," I said, absently scanning the racks with mugs.

I heard him chuckle, but I didn't look up at him, having spotted a mug I wanted to have.

"Excuse me," I said, pushing my way through the line.

"What are you up to, Isabella?" Edward asked.

I grabbed the mug, which was painted with typical London-ish things and sights, and made my way back to my fiancé and daughter.

"This, too," I said softly, placing it on the counter.

While Edward paid and we had to wait for our drinks, I peeked into the street out the glass windows.

There hadn't gathered any paparazzi – as would have been the case if we would have been in LA or New York, or even Seattle – but I noticed people recognized us, or rather my hot as fuck and famous fiancé, who would become my husband in less than four months.

The realization made me wow.

Girls took pictures with their cells, but everyone was less persuasive and let us be.

Moving to London permanently really didn't sound that bad.

We continued our shopping spree for a little longer, Edward was asked for a photo and autograph several times, before we made our way back to the house.

"Did you succeed?" Esme asked when we entered the kitchen. She was preparing dinner.

"Yep," Edward said.

"You seem happy," she smiled at her son, his happiness lighting her up.

"I am. Bella and I are going to move to London."

"Really?" Esme asked, turning to me.

I flushed. "It may take a year or two, but yes, we're thinking about it, seriously."

I narrowed my eyes at Edward, who shrugged his shoulders.

"That's great. I always knew Edward would be the one to settle in England. Emmett likes the rough forests and mountains of Northwestern America and Canada too much to exchange it for 'soppy' England. Alice is too fond of New York and LA, although the fashion on the London streets is her favorite. She won't admit it, though. Don't tease her with that," she warned Edward, pointing her spoon at him.

He held up his hands in a defensive way, kissed me and Esme on the cheek and took Auden upstairs.

"And Honor?" I asked, nibbling on a slice of cucumber.

"Honor loves it all. Qua taste she's much like her brother," Esme explained, motioning to the door Edward had disappeared through. "I think she's got all sorts of 'blood'; my mid-American, Carlisle's London-ish English and Irish, Californian because the big amount of time spent there…It wouldn't surprise me if Honor ends up with estates in LA, New York and London, maybe even Dublin. She finds it very hard to choose, she hates…loathes to drop things. From time to time I have my doubts about her job as an actress. For her work she inevitably has to drop roles and projects very often. It pains her and she rather wouldn't do it. But then I see my daughter on set, or on the screen, and I know…I know acting makes her happy. It's sort of a therapy for her. Through out her characters Honor leans more about herself."

Esme's face was filled with worry and pain.

"Esme, don't think bad of yourself. If anyone deserves a medal for best, most adoring, loving and caring mom, it's you."

Tears escalated from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, wiping away the evidence of her pain with embarrassment.

I used the method I knew helped for myself when I was upset; I walked around the breakfast bar and took her in a hug.

"Thanks, Bella. What would this family have become without you?" she shook her head.

_What_ _would _I_ have become without Edward, without this family,_ I thought.

"Shall I help you with dinner?" I asked.

"Yes please. If you like."

"That's settled then."

There would be a huge family dinner at grandpa Cullen's place tonight and everybody would make something.

"You ladies ready?" Carlisle asked, walking into the kitchen not much later.

"Almost, sweetheart," Esme smiled.

"Can I be of help?" he asked, leaning in to steal a kiss from his wife.

"Stop distracting me," Esme joked, giving Carlisle a sweet peck on the lips before withdrawing.

He rolled his eyes at her.

"Okay, okay. You can cover the food with foil and put it in the big bag over there," she motioned to a huge plastic shopping bag standing on the corner of the bar.

"Alrighty," Carlisle smiled joyfully.

"How's your writing coming along, Bella?" he asked me while doing his task.

I blushed. "I just delivered a collection of poems and short stories. It will get published in two months," I mumbled shyly.

"Why didn't we hear about that? I'm sure Edward would have told us about it, he's always so proud of you."

"That's because I didn't tell him. I want…I want to give him the first edition, as a surprise. I dedicated the book to him, for he inspires me each second."

My blush had increased and preparing the salad was all of sudden very demanding.

"Bella, how great!" Esme exclaimed. "We're so proud of you!"

"Congratulations, Bella. You totally deserve it."

"Thanks," I mumbled once again.

"He will love it. Oh, he will be so, so proud of you," Esme beamed.

"Who will be proud?" a voice spoke, startling me.

My breath chocked in my throat, but I relaxed when my mind registered it wasn't Edward's.

Emmett came walking into the room.

Before he could eat from any of the food, Esme swatted his hand away. "Keep away from my food."

"No harm done, Mom," Emmett said innocently, holding up his hands in a defensive gesture.

I'd just thought he'd forgotten about his question when he brought it up again.

"Now who were you talking about?"

"Nothing for you to know," Carlisle spoke.

"Mofo," I heard Emmett swear under his breath.

"Emmett!" Esme accused.

"It's true!" he exclaimed.

Soon, all the food was prepared and wrapped up and we were set to go.

"Jesus, what's taking Edward so long?"

"I dunno. I've got to say he's being quite secretive these days."

"Don't go all psycho on him, will ya?"

"Why not?"

"Just because it's annoying. Talking about my oh-so-handsome and fucking amazing twart of a little brother is tiring."

Honor and Alice burst out in laughter.

"What? You think that's funny?"

Honor shook her head. "Nothing."

"Why is everybody going nothing on me today?" Emmett desperately cried out, which only made his sisters laugh harder.

"Bella, do you want to check if Edward is ready to go?" Esme whispered, leaning in.

"Sure," I nodded and walked up the stairs.

"Baby?" I called for my fiancé.

"Yeah?"

"You ready? We're all set to go."

"Yep."

Just when I went to push down the door handle, Edward opened it from the other side.

"Hi," I beamed sheepishly, the sight of him lighting me up from within.

"Hello yourself," he smiled back.

In a rush of braveness and need and love and everything else I felt for this man, I lunged myself at him, fiercely pressing my lips against his.

He was clearly taken by surprise, staggering backwards and holding onto me for support, tightly encircling his arms around me.

"Whoa," he muttered against my lips, but I was too much in a frenzy to care.

I pushed out my tongue, desperately wanting entrance.

Edward battled me with his own, the tinkling in my body heavily increasing.

"I want you," I whispered hungrily, letting go of his mouth to nibble on his earlobe.

"Bella," he said in a husk voice. "I don't think that would be the smart thing to do."

"Smart has left me. I'm with stupid now. Being smart is no fun."

God, I sounded like a whining five-year-old.

Whatever, I want this man, he wants me. Who cares about how my voice sounds? Not me.

I softly bit in his ear.

"Fuck," he breathed.

Letting go of his ear, my mouth traveled along his jaw – his oh so yummy yummy jaw – and stopped at his mouth for another heated kiss.

My hands went their own way, releasing Edward's hair to make their route to his chest so they could unbutton his button-up.

To find no buttons.

Shit! Why wasn't he wearing a button-up!

"Shirt. Off. Now," I demanded, out of breath.

Edward willingly lifted up his arms so I could pull the shirt over his head.

"You have to do the rest. I can't reach that far," I said.

"Really?" he teased.

"Mhm," I nodded.

He bended. "You take it."

Just when I'd grabbed the shirt to take it off, footsteps alerted us of someone coming up.

I hastily took off Edward's shirt and turned around against his chest to face the not-yet-known person.

It was Alice. Of course.

Apparently, she was in a chipper mood, since she didn't burn us down with the ew-don't-make-out-with-my-best-friend-and-with-my-brother-in-front-of-my-face lecture.

"I knew it. I knew it," she grinned. "I knew you were being naughty up here. Emmett will eat this up. Ah, he will be so disappointed _he _didn't walk into you."

"Alice," Edward sighed.

"What?"

"Can you stop the rambling. It's deafening."

"Walk to hell, Edward. Let me have some fun. I deserve that after so many years of you giving me a hard time."

Edward leaned his head on my shoulder, ducking away from the sight of his sister.

"Now, pull on your shirt again and get the hell downstairs. We haven't got all day. It's a fucking family dinner and you think that's the perfect time to fuck your fiancée? Real classy, Edward," Alice chuckled.

"Jesus, Alice! Quit that, will you?"

"No, I quite like the look on your face I give you."

"Al-!"

But before he could finish with whatever he wanted to say, Alice had rushed over to us and laid a finger over his lips.

"Ah-ah! Stop the whining. I'm going now."

And she danced away.

"Sorry about that," Edward apologized, bending down to grab his shirt.

"Why?"

"Well, the behavior of my sweet dear sister is quite embarrassing and annoying."

"I can call up a certain sister of mine who can be very embarrassing, too. You don't have to apologize for that."

"I know. One of the reasons why I love you," he smiled sweetly, leaning in for a kiss.

"Is that so?" I murmured, not being able to produce a louder sound due to my lips being busy with something way more amazing.

"Edward Cullen, get downstairs with your woman right the fuck now! Or I will take photos and throw them all over the internet! Believe me, I will!" Emmett's booming voice rang through the house.

"Maybe we should get downstairs."

"I don't think I want to."

"I don't think I want, either. But I haven't seen my grandpa in ages, and having dinner with the whole family is always fun."

"Yeah, you're right. Let's get this over and done with."

"Oh, what we'll be doing tonight…" Edward mused in my ear.

"Edward, I think you should stop with such talk. I won't hold it if you say things like that," I whimpered.

He immediately straightened and pulled back, keeping a safe distance between us.

"I didn't mean _that_," I pouted, reaching for his hand.

"Mine," he whispered, lifting up my hand to his lips and softly kissing each knuckle.

"There you are," Esme said when we walked down the stairs.

"Auden just woke up. She's a little restless," Rose informed me.

My, I felt bad. I hadn't thought of Auden for such a long time.

"Shit. Couldn't you keep busy for a little longer? I really would have loved to see the material of you two making out all over the net," Emmett whined.

"Before you spill personal stuff about me and Isabella, know I'll always have something on hand to get you back," Edward told his brother, grabbing his leather jacket and putting it on along his Clubmasters sunglasses.

I watched him from a distance, probably looking like a teenage girl madly in love with her first boyfriend – which I was in fact.

Edward, my first boyfriend. And only.

Edward caught me ogling and gave me that damn crooked smile of his.

I blushed, biting my lip.

"Don't," he mouthed warningly.

As if on cue, I bit my lip again.

Edward's green eyes turned dark and he licked his lips.

Oh, fuck. I think I just turned into jellyfish.

We decided to go and everyone stepped outside.

"Later, Isabella," Edward spoke huskily, leaning down.

I swallowed, paralyzed to the ground.

Edward took the carrier with Auden, followed by Rosalie who'd Tristan in her arms, cooing to her little boy.

"Isabella, love, you coming?" my fiancé called for me, knowing very well why I hadn't moved.

Bastard.

"Yeah," I said, hastily putting on my jacket and walking past him steadily, not giving him any look.

I jumped in the car and settled in my seat.

Carlisle threw Edward the keys to lock up, and started the engine.

I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing.

That didn't help to distract me from the hotness that is Edward, though. Closing my eyes only made it worse, since my mind thought it funny and helpful to throw me memories of him.

And they weren't innocent ones.

When I opened my eyes I was startled by the close proximity of Edward.

"Ah!" I cried out, a little too hard.

Every pair of eyes in the car turned to me.

"I'm okay," I fiercely blushed.

Edward chuckled, laying his free arm around my shoulder, the other holding Auden's carrier.

"Not fair, Edward," I muttered, hiding my face in his nook.

He kissed the top of my head. "I love you, my Bella."

Gah! He really was not being fair. Each time I was pissed on him, be it for leaving me hanging or for something else, he always knew how to make me go all swooning for him again.

I turned my attention to Auden instead.

She'd fallen back asleep and her full lips were parted in small 'o', her little chest going up and down with every breath she took.

Slowly, as not to wake her, I brought my hand down and softly stroke her tiny hand.

Automatically, my own breath slowed too and I noticed I was being as quiet as I could.

Edward had turned the same, stroking Auden's other hand.

Carlisle turned on the radio and music was softly filling the car.

I recognized it as Snow Patrol.

"_I love you my own way. I love you better. I love you inside all this. I love you forever_," Edward quietly sang in my ear.

The words and his breath on my skin gave me goose bumps and I shivered.

"Snow Patrol, Perfect Little Secret," he said. "If I may say so, their best song. It's on the single of You're All I Have and I fucking shit thank Honor for having had her Snow Patrol period and wanting all their CD's and singles, or I might have not ever heard of this song. It says it for me," he whispered.

"How does it say it for you?"

"How you make me feel, how you _made _me feel. When I realized I was in love with you, I felt confused. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to react? I had no experience. Yes, I'd felt more than friendly feelings for a couple of girls before, but never as deep and intense and irrevocably as the feelings I had for you. I know I may have a weird way of showing you my love for you, but that's me. My life can be fucked-up from time to time, _I _can be fucked-up, and you're always the one solid thing in my life. The love I have for you is the one thing I'm hundred percent sure of, every second of every day."

I hadn't noticed tears had streamed out of my eyes, but now I felt the salt-y taste on my lips.

Hastily, I whipped them away.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've ever put you through. I know I'll never be able to make up to you what I've done to you, but I won't give up trying," Edward continued.

"It's okay, Edward. Don't over-work yourself on trying."

"You don't want me to?" he asked, surprised.

"Not if you pain yourself doing so. I love you, god I love you. I want to stay with you for the rest of my life. And I hate to see you angry at yourself. You're such an incredible, caring, talented, beautiful person, Edward," I said sincerely, gazing in his eyes.

I knew tears were still streaming down my cheeks, but I didn't care.

"Don't cry, Isabella," he whispered, stroking them away. He looked out the window. "We're here."

I looked up and noticed Carlisle had slowed down his speed and made a swift move to the curb, parking the SUV.

Edward handed me the carrier so he could open the door.

When he'd stepped out, he pulled up his jeans and moved his hand through his hair before reaching for my hand to pull me out of the car.

I smiled up at him. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he smiled back.

"Ah, there you are," Philip Cullen's deep bass voice sounded.

"Hello father," Carlisle greeted him.

"Hello son, oh and the lovely Esme. How are you, my dear?"

Esme flushed. "I'm good, Philip. Thank you," she smiled.

His grandchildren said their short greetings and walked past him.

"Ho ho, my boy. Don't you have someone to show me," he stopped Edward.

"Sorry?"

Philip motioned to me, and Auden in my arms.

"Of course," Edward smiled sheepishly. "Isabella," he called for me.

As I'd come up to them, he leaned in and softly placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"Grandfather, this is our daughter, your great-granddaughter that is, Auden Everly Cullen."

Philip leaned closer to get a better view.

Auden inspected him with her big brownish-green eyes, glistering of curiosity.

"Ooh, she's me a beauty. Reminds me of your grandmother, 's got your hair obviously and the same Cullen intensity for sure. Her mother's plumb lips and delicate nose," he softly mused.

Edward pulled me even closer to his side.

"You can let her sleep in one of the rooms upstairs," Philip offered.

"The interior of this house hasn't changed a bit since he and gram moved in here," Edward told me.

The parental house of the Cullen family was something between a farm and a townhouse, ample and classic.

"Every time my dad and his siblings came over, us little kids were put upstairs to sleep, or watch telly," he continued.

I smiled.

"I'll go upstairs with Isabella to put Auden asleep. We will be down a minute. Is that okay with you, grandpa?"

"Sure my boy. Go ahead."

Edward took my hand and leaded me to the grand stairs.

"What? Did he seriously say that? You know what occurred this afternoon, upstairs?" I heard Emmett booming from out the room I suspected was the living room.

"Asshole," Edward swore under his breath.

I giggled.

"You've got a nice giggle, miss Swan. I quite like the sound of it."

"Why thank you, Mr Cullen."

"Oh, having a British accent now, don't you?"

"Never as smooth as yours."

"I think you might be right about that," he smirked.

"Being self-conscious, are we?"

"As always, miss Swan."

This time, we went right downstairs after having done our task. With one last sweet dreams kiss on Auden's forehead and last peek, we left off to the dining room.

"My, I've got such an angel of a daughter," Edward brought out.

"Tell me about it," I smiled proudly.

A huge dinner table ran from the kitchen to the living room, housing the entire Cullen family.

It was weird to see Carlisle in the role of son, second son, since I'd always seen him as the patriarch of his family.

His old man was the patriarch of this family, though.

Philip Cullen wasn't a man of many words.

He'd grown up to be minister, and eventually became one.

But when he announced he was going to marry a catholic, an _Irish _catholic woman, the Church put him for a choice.

Church and God or the woman.

Philip thought 'the heck with it' and totally abandoned his religion, realizing being a minister had been his father's dream instead of his own and his heart hadn't laid with church.

Helen Cavanaugh brought out the good in him and made him see things he normally wouldn't even have looked at once.

When she died, just after having given birth to fourth child Sian, he went into shock.

Philip Cullen went numb and dead.

Oldest kid John, an introvert boy, pulled in himself only more.

It was Carlisle who took up the task of taking care of his two younger sisters, and practically of his father, brother and himself too.

On the age of seven, Carlisle Cullen made a promise to himself.

He would do anything to get his sisters a good education and future, and he himself would become a doctor so he could prevent women to have the same faith his mother had had and so other people wouldn't have to go through such grief he and his family had gone through.

Carlisle had never blamed neither his father nor his brother of anything, being the understandable and kind-beyond-words man.

It was still clearly eating on Philip, though.

Edward was like his grandfather in that way, silently taking responsibility of everything around him, even if he couldn't have done anything about it.

My thoughts having wandered off at him, I peeked to my fiancé and reached under the table to squeeze his hand.

He turned his head to me and gave me such a breathtaking smile, I could only gape at him.

"Isabella? Isabella? Isabella?"

"Isabella, love," Edward whispered to me.

"Yeah?" I answered sheepishly.

He nodded with his head to the opposite side of the table.

I looked ahead, noticing practically everybody was watching me.

Shit, what did I do now?

"Isabella, Esme mentioned Edward and you are thinking of moving to London, but that you want to find a decent job first. I've been told you've majored in English. What are your interests?"

"Uh, well…I like English literature, anything to do with books…and err…"

"She likes photographs, too," Edward completed me.

"Currently, Bella's busy writing," Esme joined in the conversation, too.

"Oh, I'm sure there will be plenty of remarkable and amazing jobs for you here," Robin beamed. "Don't you think, too, Si?"

"Sure. It's London we're talking about," Sian replied.

"Just to warn you, it's better if you don't 'insult' or say anything negative about London. The Cullen family is _very _patriotic."

"How would you like to see an Arsenal game, Bella?"

"I'm afraid we don't have time for that," Edward answered for me.

"Are you Bella?"

Edward rolled his eyes at his cousin.

"Well, uhm…maybe next time?"

"Another, don't show your support for a football club other than Arsenal," Edward whispered.

I nodded, making a mental note.

It didn't take long or I was stuffed and totally spend.

Blame the excellent cooking talents of this family.

I was sure I couldn't get _one _tiny little dish through my throat, not even if I would be forced.

I shoved my chair backwards and was about to stand up when Edward's hand on my hip stopped me.

His eyes gave away the question he wanted to ask.

"I'm going upstairs, to breastfeed Auden. Stop the pleading, Cullen."

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Okay, but don't be long."

"I'll be as long as needed, sir," I teased, and turned around, not glancing back.

Auden was indeed hungry.

"Hey," I cooed. "It's okay. Mommy is here, now. Hush, my angel," I whispered, stroking her head.

While she eagerly drunk, I softly wiped away her shed tears.

"My little angel, so beautiful," I mused. "Momma loves you so much, Auden. You've captured her heart, ever since she discovered she was pregnant of you. The moment Daddy laid you in my arms, everything dissolved. All my fears, my worries, my pain, all things going on in the world, dissolved. For you. You are the most important to me, together with your daddy. I'll love you forever. And I know Daddy will do, too. You are our little light, our angel and I'm so happy to be your mother, to have you as my daughter. I love you, Auden."

She'd stopped drinking and tears were streaming down my cheeks, but they were of no importance.

This little girl was mine, my daughter.

A cough startled me and my musings, and I quickly turned my head around.

Fuck me sideways. Edward Cullen was standing on the threshold, leaning against the doorpost, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

I cleared my throat and wanted to stand up, but Edward stopped me.

"Don't. You don't have to move because I happen to be in the same room. Continue with what you were doing, or what you want to do."

"Did you…did you…listen?" I asked in a small voice.

"I heard it from the moment she'd stopped crying and whimpering."

Shit, he'd heard it all!

"Isabella, love, you don't have to be embarrassed about it. I'm sorry I eaves dropped. I know I should have given you some privacy, and some alone time with Auden. I shouldn't have interfered, but I just couldn't stay away. I'm anxious when you're not around me, Isabella. It scares me. I know I have no right to own you, to say what you can and cannot do…it's just…you're my life. If anything would happen to you, how small it may be…I can't handle that, Bella," he said, aggravated and with his hands in his hair.

"Hey," I hushed, cradling Auden in my arms and walking up to him. "I can understand. And now you're the one who shouldn't be embarrassed. Don't be ashamed of what you feel. What you feel for me, Edward, _how _you feel about me….I think there isn't a luckier girl in the world than me."

A flash of agony showed on his face, but he deeply hid it away quickly.

I reached out and softly stroked his cheek, which was covered with a one-day-old scruff.

"I love you, Edward Anthony Cullen," I whispered sincerely.

Edward turned his cheek around in my hand and kissed the palm.

"As I love you, Isabella Marie Swan," he retorted, leaning his forehead against mine.

"I think we should get downstairs. We don't want to miss desert," he breathed.

"I know what I want for desert," I said, gazing up in his sparkling green eyes, filled with lust.

"Bella, I don't think that would be such a good idea."

"Oh," I mumbled, looking at my fingers.

I heard him sigh.

"My silly girl, you know I want it just as bad as you," Edward said, taking my chin in his hands so he could look in my eyes. "It's just…this is my grandfather's house…and I smelt the delicious aroma of the desert dishes. Later, okay?"

"So you rather have chocolate cake for desert than me?" I sulked, crossing my arms.

"No. I'm being respectful."

He indeed was.

Gah, I hated it when Edward was right.

I shook my head. "You're right, let's get downstairs."

I kissed Auden on the forehead and laid her back in her carrier, brushing past Edward to get downstairs.

He grabbed my arm when I passed. "You aren't hurt, are you?" he asked, a hint of panic in his voice.

"Leave it, Edward."

"Answer me, Bella."

"Just let me sulk, please."

"I'll make it up to you, tonight. I promise."

Fuck. How could he turn me on with just a bunch of promising words?

Because he's Edward fucking Cullen, king of my world. That's why.

"Were you playing dirty-dirty again?" Emmett's voice boomed when we walked in the hallway.

We rolled our eyes at him.

"Here," he said, passing us two glasses of wine.

"Thanks," Edward answered, taking my hand and leading me to the living room where Guitar Hero was being played.

He flopped down on the couch, pulling me with him.

Some time later, Esme and Carlisle announced they wanted to go back 'home' and Edward fetched Auden from upstairs.

In the car, I snuggled into Edward's arms and inhaled his delicious scent. It didn't take long before I was dozing off.

When I awoke, my brain needed some time to comprehend where I was. I concluded I was laying in a bed, dressed down in my panties and one of Edward's shirt.

I remembered I dozed off in the car, nothing more. Until I woke up just a second ago.

Only Edward could have undressed me.

That pervert! He sure as hell had enjoyed that.

And he'd promised we would continue our heated moment later.

I huffed quietly.

"Bella?" Edward murmured, rolling onto his side so he was facing me.

"Mhm?"

"What are you huffing about?" he mumbled, his voice drooled with sleepiness.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"No."

I could put my feet down, too. I turned my back to Edward.

I heard him sigh, and just when I thought he'd given up, his strong arms grabbed me and rolled me to my previous position.

Of course he wouldn't have given up. It's Edward Cullen we're talking about!

"Tell me," he demanded, rolling on top of me.

"Well…I remember the promise you made last night, when we were…you know…just before we left your grandpa's," I whimpered under his intense gaze.

"And?"

"You seemed fast asleep, and I didn't want to wake you to fill my needs. I'm not that selfish."

"No, you're not. Next time, you'll have my full permission to wake me whenever you want to me to let you come, though."

I giggled. "Okay," I drawled out, knowing Edward would forget he'd given me permission.

"So, you want to fulfill that promise, or what?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"Thought so," he grinned, leaning in to press his lips to mine.

* * *

The following day, Edward and I took a stroll around the neighborhood, having a moment for just the two of us.

Each time I looked up at my fiancé, looking his utter hot self in low-hanging jeans, Converse, basic tee, plaid button-up and leather jacket plus Ray Bans, I was astonished that this god creature was mine, that he loved and wanted me, more than anyone or anything in the world.

And I knew. I knew I would never grow tired of ogling him, of loving him, of caring for him. He would be were my life ended. I would be his, and he would be mine, until I would die, and even after that I would never be someone else – never known as someone else – as Edward Cullen's wife.

I was completely and utterly okay with that.

Thoughts about being his wife made me think of our upcoming wedding, where it would take place for instance.

"Edward, have you ever thought about where we would marry?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Although my parents' house is perfect, it doesn't feel right. I want something more…special for us. You?"

"I have."

"And?"

"Here. I want to marry here."

"Here as in London?"

"Yes. If that's okay with you, of course."

His smile couldn't be wider.

"I assume you like the idea."

"Like, Bella? I fucking love it. Let's do it. Let's get married in London."

"You're sure?" I couldn't help but smile, too.

"Hundred thousand percent," he whispered sincerely, leaning in.

"I love you," I whispered, encircling my arms around his neck and closing the gap between us.

"You know, my parents got married on Esme's grandpa's ranch in Colorado, and a second time on the Isle of Wight."

"Is there a point you want to make?"

"I'd rather show you," he said, stealing a quick kiss before hauling for a taxi.

"Why do we take a taxi?"

"Cos I'm too impatient to walk to the closest underground station."

"Okay," was the only thing I could bring out.

It didn't take long before the taxi stopped in front of a beautiful house.

"This is my aunt Robin's house," Edward explained.

"Wow, Edward, it's breathtaking."

"Wait till you've seen the yard."

How could a yard overrule _this _house in beauty?

I couldn't imagine such thing.

We walked up the front steps and Edward rang the door.

The door was opened by Robin herself.

"Edward, my dear nephew," she greeted him, hugging him close.

He returned the hug.

Robin Eavan Cullen shared her eyes and some little characteristics with her older brother Carlisle.

"Bella, nice to see you again. You look lovely, as always."

I didn't know what was so lovely about simple J Brands, an even more simple tee, Converse and comfy cardigan.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

She hugged me, too.

"So, what brought you here?"

"I wanted to show Bella the yard."

Robin let out a high and warm laugh, sounding so much like her siblings.

"Oh, you're such a hopeless romantic, Edward. Just like your mother. Come along, I'll show you."

She leaded us through the hall way, which was filled with lots of photos, – I even spotted Edward on a few in the haste – and the kitchen.

Robin opened the French doors and I stepped into the loveliest and romantic yard I'd ever seen.

Its simplicity was its power.

Here and there flower beds were planted, plants, little trees.

Edward came to stand behind me, placing one hand on my hip.

"This is where I want to say 'I do' to you," he whispered in my ear, making me shiver all over my body.

I could only nod.

"What do you think?"

"Yes." I sounded like I'd run the marathon.

"Good." I felt him smile against my cheek.

Edward kissed me briefly and then turned to Robin.

"Robin, is the yard free for August 13th?"

"You want to marry here?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"The same reason you fell in love with this yard."

"Of course, for my nephew always. I assume the house would be used as well."

"Only if you and Sean agree."

"He will. Alright, that's settled. Bella, you want to see the rest of the house?"

"I would love to."

"How come you can afford such a house, _and _yard?" I asked, while Robin leaded me through her _magnificent_ house.

"My husband makes quite some money, as do I. I've always been a saver. And we don't care about money."

"That sounds familiar."

* * *

"Who do we have here!" Amun Rhodes greeted us, standing outside his studio, waiting for his son's band to arrive.

The time Edward didn't spend with Auden, me, his family and film meetings, was spent in Isis of the Nile Studios with his band Vampire Heart.

"Is that the famous Auden Everly, my boy?" he beamed, having noticed the bundle of white cotton sheets I had in my arms.

"Yeah, that's my little angel," Edward grinned back, lit up from within.

"Let me see her, let me see her. Kebi will be so delighted to see her, too. Good for her she came with Benji and me today."

The chilly London May weather washed over me and I shivered.

Just my luck I'd forgotten to bring along a hoodie or jacket.

Edward sighed. "You didn't bring a jacket?"

"No," I squirmed.

"Bella," he narrowed.

"Sorry," I apologized in a small voice.

"Oh, come inside guys. Good temperature in there."

"Is everyone in already?"

"Just Benji and Stefan. Eleazar is late, as always."

Edward didn't seem to be surprised about the fact his best friend hadn't arrived yet.

Amun was right. The studio held a comfortable warmth.

Edward greeted his mates and studio crew, and everyone had to ogle and touch Auden.

"She's fucking beautiful, Cullen."

"Mesmerizing eyes."

"Gorgeous full lips."

"Her father's bronze hair, for sure."

"Look at those tiny feet and hands. Oh, and her ears. Such a cutie!"

Edward and I looked at each other.

He stretched out his arm so he could draw me into his side.

"We created that beautiful girl," he whispered, kissing the side of my head.

"Unbelievable, huh?"

"Hey, anybody heard of Belluci?" someone from the studio questioned.

"Nah, as per usual. I think he's afraid to face his goddaughter, since that would make it more real for him…being a godfather."

Although Edward and I both weren't religious, we liked the idea of godparents.

I'd chosen Alice as Auden's godmother, as she was my best friend, and Edward had picked Eleazar, his own best friend, as her godfather.

"He'll come around."

"I heard he's got a new catch."

"Eli always got a new catch."

I rolled my eyes at these guys. They and their typical boy talk.

Kebi, Amun's wife, handed me back Auden and I wandered off in the direction of the recording studios, peeking in each one.

Most of them were deserted, since most bands did lots of concerts and festivals in the spring and summer and had hardly any time for recording.

"This is ours," Edward's voice came out of nowhere, I hadn't heard any approaching footsteps.

"We've been using this particular studio ever since the first recording sessions," he continued.

"Amun even named it after us." He pointed to the name tag next to the door opening.

Under the number of the studio, IV, the plate read _Vampire Heart Studio. Where there is no difference between day and night. To the amazing and talented musicians Eleazar Belluci, Edward Cullen, Benjamin Rhodes-Smith and Stefan Waszowski._

"Wow. That's great. I would be really flattered."

"We are. Amun's always been very proud of us, being really protective of our band. He may not be our manager, but he's always there with recordings and mastering."

"And Benjamin doesn't mind?"

"No. We've always been free to do what we wanted, play the music how we wanted. Amun's like an executive, not interfering with us much."

I nodded.

"So, you can keep yourself busy while we're recording? I don't want you to get bored or anything."

"Yes; no. I think I'll go write a little, listen to you singing," I shrugged, unable to prevent a smile to spread up on my face.

Edward smiled back, giving me a hasty kiss before he walked over to his band mates and entered their recording studio.

Not five minutes later, the entrance doors swept open and a frantic Eleazar Belluci entered the studio, flashing me a wave on his way to his friends.

I woke up my laptop, checked my emails, read over my essay and typed down some musings which had come on my mind.

Kebi joined me for a while, handing me coffee, and we talked about being a mother, music, London, family.

My body felt stiff from having been in the same position for a long time, so I stood up to stretch and take a look around the studio before I returned to the lounge area and continued writing.

"Eleazar, can I ask you something?"

The band had a 15-minute break, and the others were still in the recording room tuning their instruments, but Eleazar had come out to go to the restrooms and get drinks.

I'd wanted to talk to him for a long time, but had never really gotten the opportunity and it wasn't something I wanted to do over the phone.

"Yeah, of course," he said, surprised by my approach.

Over the years, I'd met Eleazar frequently and had heard a lot about Edward and his close friendship, but we hadn't done any bonding.

I took a deep breath before asking him the question I'd wanted him to ask for weeks.

"When…you know…when Edward…left me," I said in a small voice. "Did he…did he call you, or anything?"

Eleazar's smile vanished. He swallowed before he answered. "Yes. Everyday."

I felt my eyes widen in surprise. According to what I heard from the Cullens, he hadn't contacted anybody of them, purposely ignoring them.

I hadn't thought of Edward contacting Eleazar, but it made sense. Although Eleazar was with us during the Oscar ceremony, he'd left off to London the day later, not being there when Edward had left me, us. Edward hadn't left him, he was outside the ones who got hurt.

"What…what did he talk about? Did he say anything about me?"

Eleazar looked away in the direction of studio room IV.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. It's personal, I understand. I was just wondering." I rushed out, hoping I hadn't offend him or put myself in a bad light.

"You're suffering more under that week than you let know, don't you?"

His remark took me off guard.

"Well…"

"I won't tell. I might look as someone who gossips around and leaks secrets, but believe me…I know when it's serious and when it's not."

I took a deep breath. "Sometimes, when Edward is away from me, I think back of that time, yes."

I looked down.

That was actually half the truth.

When Edward was not by my side, it was the worst. I'd have nightmares and was restless all day.

But that wasn't the only time when the haunting days of the time he had left me, his family came back up.

Involuntarily, my subconsciousness shot images and thoughts at me, of what Edward had done to me. And to other women.

That still hurt.

"Edward has an unbelievable good memory, which can can be both an advantage and disadvantage. He never forgets his mistakes or faults. Never. I seriously think he won't ever forget himself for what he has to done to you, and to himself. It was his proof he wasn't worthy of you, that he was a monster. He was ashamed, disappointed, angry. Only for the fact his need for you is stronger than any other one of his emotions or moods, Edward stuck around you the first day he came back and didn't give you up. Even after you took him back…in your arms, he tried to push you away…," Eleazar told.

He kept on talking, but I couldn't listen anymore.

…_even after you took him back…he tried to push you away…_

What?

"What do you mean?"

Eleazar knew what I asked for and noticed I hadn't listened to anything he'd said after.

"Edward said he cheated on you, with _three _women."

"But it wasn't what it looked like," I argued.

"No, it wasn't. Because if he really would have done _that_, none of us would have looked him in the eye ever again. One, because you just don't do that; two, Edward needs you in his life, you're the love of his existence, and he knows it, too. So, he'd no reason; three, you were eight months pregnant."

"I still don't get it. What do you mean with 'he tried to push you away', then?"

"Bella, as drunk as he might have been, as many women may have surrounded him and as worse the photos might have looked, Edward never ever locked lips with a woman, hell, not with _anything _during that time."

"What?" I shrieked. "The photos…the videos…," I whispered, beyond confused.

"This is Hollywood we're talking about. Just a drunk A+ actor isn't really interesting. Add plenty of interested women _and _an eight-months pregnant fiancée on the other side of the country and you've got a story that everybody will eat out of your hands. Paparazzi and gossip magazines know how to make things looks the total opposite of what actually occurs."

It felt like my head was spinning.

"Why did he say such tings to me? To his family?"

"Bella, Edward is a self-deprecating man. It could be worse, but he takes responsibility for practically everything happening around him. He works hard, and long hours, and the reason he hasn't gone mad, yet, or gotten a burn out, is because of you. _You _treat him like a normal person, _you _keep him on the ground."

"I still don't understand."

"You've probably noticed him being very generous and outdoing lately…" Eleazar trailed off, giving me time to think about what he'd said.

The second proposal, the golden butterfly pendant, the car, Auden's room…

"Yes."

"He wants to prove you how much he loves you, how much you mean to him. But beneath it all, it's to prove _himself _worthy of you. It might sound crazy, but that's how Edward works."

"How can I prove he _is _more than worthy of me?" I asked desperately.

"I think he will always be insecure, but getting married will sure do good. That shows him you want to be officially and legally his. At least, that's what I think," he explained.

"I think you're right about that."

"You shouldn't worry about this too much, Bella. It means a lot to Edward when you come down here, or had that magazine interview."

"I know."

"And although I never thought Edward would become a father at his age, this _young _age of twenty four, it has lightened him up. You're responsible for that, you gave him his little angel."

"He's done the same thing for me."

"It may sound weird from the mouth of a tattooed, twenty-five-year-old bass player, but Edward and I have heart-to-heart talks from time to time, and what I've learned from his talks is that you're beyond humble. You should take more credit for what you've done, Bella."

As if on cue, I flushed.

"You're a beautiful, smart and non-selfish woman, Bella, caring deeply for the people and things you love and find important. Not only have you let my best friend appreciate himself more, you're also a really cool chick to hang out and talk with, _and _most importantly for the band you're an enormous inspiration."

"Eleazar…," I started, embarrassed.

"It's true. Now, with Auden's arrival, you've given us so much more material to write about."

"I'm happy to help," I shyly said.

"That's the spirit," he grinned, softly bumping my arm.

I flashed him back a smile.

"Hey El, you coming with the drinks or what? Recording is going to start again in a few."

"Yeah, I'll come in a minute."

"Thank you, Eleazar. Really." I looked down at my hands.

"Anytime Bella. I meant what I said, about you being a cool chick."

"I could say the same about you. We should spend more time together."

"Hell yes we should."

"Eleazar Belluci!"

"Jeez, didn't know my band mates could be such whiny old ladies."

"Good luck in there."

"Thanks. And before I forget it, or you get the wrong idea, it means a fucking lot to me you named me Auden's godfather."

I smiled.

"See ya." He leaned in to give me a hug. "Thank you, too, Isabella."

Edward was standing outside the recording room when Eleazar wanted to get past.

"What the hell was that about? Since when do you spend your break talking and _hugging _my fiancée?" Edward scowled.

"Since we did some heart-to-heart talk, Cullen. No, don't go all possessive. She's a hot and cool chick, but that's it."

"Eleazar," Edward growled, looking really threatening.

Eleazar didn't seem to be moved by his best friend's behavior. "Edward, she fucking damn loves you. You wanna hear something else? I've never seen a woman with so much love and care and worry in her eyes for a man than her. Now, don't act like a kid, cut the crap and get to recording. You'll have plenty time to be the smart-ass," was the last I heard from Eleazar's lecture before the door closed.

I installed myself in one of the comfy seats, with Auden asleep next to me and woke up my laptop.

Writing time.

* * *

"So, what was your heart-to-heart talk with Eleazar about?" Edward questioned, biting his cheek on that turning-on way.

I had to shook my head to get my thoughts straight.

"Oh… uhm, I had some questions for him."

"What about? Why him?"

"Because he knows a side of you, a part of you, nobody else knows. Not even me."

"You know me the best. I've told you more about my fears and about my fucked-up life than anyone else on this planet, including Eleazar."

"I doubt that."

"Bella, it's true. You really, really do. I'm a very private guy, even more so after I got in the spotlight. You were the first one, outside my family, who I completely trusted. I mean, El and I and Benji and Ste have been friends since we were seven or so, but we didn't talk much about…confidential things, just music and boy stuff."

I smiled up at him, showing my thankfulness. I knew he'd overcome trust issues by welcoming me in. I also knew, though, that Eleazar and Edward's other friends were familiar with a side of him I didn't get to see – at all or barely. And that didn't bother me; it was normal best friends knew things, sides lovers didn't.

"So, what was it all about?"

I bit my lip. Should I tell him? Should I tell him I now knew he'd been lying to me, to his family.

I wasn't angry on him, not even a bit pissed.

I was grateful.

Edward hadn't cheated on me, yes in his drunkenness he'd might have hid his face in a woman's neck but that was just to hid from the paparazzi.

Yes, he deserved to know.

Edward had gone a long way to confident in me, to tell me his fears and worries. Even more so, it had taken him a short time to do so, while I knew already then he was a very private person.

I took a deep breath before answering him. I wanted to say this right. "I asked him about the time you left me. If he'd spoken to you."

Edward's face seemed to freeze and I was afraid I'd done wrong by telling him.

"He said you did, that you talked every day. That surprised and startled me, but comforted me also. I feel more on ease knowing you have something you can always count on, who's no part of your family. I'm happy you didn't swallow it all on your own."

"What else did he spill?"

"Edward, you shouldn't be angry on him! _I_ asked him about it. He cares, he cares for you, as his best friend. I was just wondering. I'm sorry."

"Fuck," he muttered. "Isabella, don't apologize. You had the right to be curious about," he swallowed. "…about that time."

"You haven't been honest with me. You know that, right?"

Edward looked down.

"I don't care that you lied to me. I'm more worried why you did so," I continued, encircling my arms around him.

"Bella, please, don't."

"What?"

"Bella, I don't…I know you have the right to know the truth, just not…I've much on my mind, and that's not a good excuse, I know…Just please? Back in New York?"

I nodded. "Okay." I pulled me up at him and kissed him lovingly.

"Thank you," he breathed, clearly relieved.

* * *

"Can I come with you guys? Please?" Honor asked, putting on a pout.

Alice and I were about to go out for gown shopping, and Honor had sprung up from the couch when we'd wanted to leave.

Rosalie wasn't coming along, since she wanted to have some London quality time with Emmett and Tristan, and besides said she'd already seen all the dresses Alice had picked for me.

"Ah gah, Hon. Don't pull that pout," Alice sighed.

"Al…,"

Alice glared at her sister. Even Honor couldn't get away with calling her Al.

"Alice," Honor corrected herself, huffing, "…you know I've got taste, and besides I haven't got my bridesmaid dress, yet."

"I thought you were busy today."

"No, just in the afternoon and evening."

"I hate you, HR."

"As I hate you, AMC. Hey, you know, there's a movie company called AMC. How funny is that?"

"Very funny, Hon. Now put on some shoes. Time is running out."

Honor wanted to make another remark, but Alice cut her off by glaring at her.

She didn't do to have it twice.

Honor sprinted back to the living room and returned not much later, with shoes on.

"Honor, you can't wear those!" Alice exclaimed.

"Why not? They're my favorites." She looked down at her worn-off Converse high tops, not seeing what was wrong with them.

"We are going to designer stores. You're not supposed to look like you've come from a thrift store."

"Alice, since when do you care about what I wear? And you love thrift stores. I've never worn heels in private, ever."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I guess it's just the hormones."

"Besides, I'll be with Alice Cullen. And _everybody _in fashion land knows Alice Cullen."

Alice took Honor and me to the luxurious fashion streets and boutiques.

When you ever visit such stores, I give you one advice: do not ever look at the price tags. It makes you really nauseous.

Alice saw my disapproving look. "Don't worry about the money, it's all on us."

"That will make it so much better."

"Bella, it will be the best day of your life, except maybe for the day of Auden's birth. You should enjoy this. I've been looking for wedding dresses for you to wear, and I've found a few who will be just perfect," she beamed, clapping in her hands.

No doubt Alice had been looking ever since she knew I'd said yes.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Honor Rose rolling her eyes at her.

She led us to a room in the back.

Two full racks of dressing bags were waiting for us, for me.

Alice thought this amount was just _a few_?

My hell.

And of course, I had to fit them all.

I was put into what seemed like a thousand dresses.

Each one was very pretty and gorgeous, I had to say.

But they all missed something, some sort of sparkle.

Except for the last one, of course.

That's what clichés are for, after all, huh?

I was just about to give up, when Alice reached for one last dress.

"Alice, I don't know...I'm worn out," I sighed, plopping down on the sofa in the dressing room.

"Okay, I understand, but try on just this one. After this, you're free."

Honor snickered.

Alice grabbed the dressing bag that was left and slowly unzipped it, revealing a breathtakingly beautiful gown.

It was gorgeous, not too-over-the-top, floor length and white.

"You've been holding out on me, Alice," I accused. "Did I really have to try on twenty gowns just to find the last was the best?"

She simply shrugged her shoulders.

I rolled my eyes and took the dress from its hanger.

"Help me zip up?" I asked.

"Oh, what Edward would have paid to be here right now, zipping you up," Alice mused.

"And here I thought you didn't like us being all…you know…" I flushed.

"I don't, I just know Edward."

"You didn't let him see the gowns you picked, did you?"

"Ouch Bella, I'm offended. He knows where I'm capable of if he even tried to peek. He won't see a thing, not until you come walking down the aisle."

I nodded.

"Alright, you're zipped up. See how it suits you."

She turned me around, facing the mirror.

Looking back at me, stood a shy woman, wearing a gorgeous wedding gown.

Although, I'm not the one to give myself compliments as if it was like breathing, I had to say

I looked really beautiful in this gown.

"You look breathtaking, Bella," Alice whispered, throwing an arm around my shoulders and kissing my temple.

"Thank you, Alice. For the effort you've put into this, and having found the right gown for me."

"It was all my pleasure. If you ever need help with clothes shopping and such, let me know."

I rolled my eyes. You didn't have to ask Alice for that, she would even do it without your knowledge.

"Now, let's show Honor. I bet she's curious."

"Oh my God, Bella, you look fucking hot!" Honor exclaimed. "And heartbreakingly gorgeous, too," she added hastily, fiercely blushing. "I'll bet Edward won't be able to keep his eyes off you, even if he wanted. And he's going to be a lot more possessive of you," she chuckled.

"Have you found a bridesmaid dress, already?" I asked her.

"I've a couple of options. Your gown had to be picked first, since our dresses have to match yours in some sort of way."

After I'd changed back in my normal clothes, I checked my phone for any missed messages.

My editor had called and I'd a text from Edward.

The thought alone already put a smile on my face.

_How's the gown shopping going? Found anything nice? Are my sisters being nice to you? Love, xxx Edward._

My over-worrying fiancé, always checking up on me if I'm okay.

And I loved him for it.

I hastily typed a reply.

_Just finished. Found this gorgeous gown. :) Don't worry about Alice & Honor. How's my daughter doing? See you in a few, xxx Bella. P.S. I love you._

"What's the wicked grin for?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind, I already know."

"Shall we have a bite to eat at this bistro at the corner. I heard it's real good," Honor proposed.

"Sure."

While we stood in line to order, my phone buzzed.

A reply from Edward.

_Bet you did. Your daughter is doing perfectly fine. I think she's got a thing for Van Morrison, his music makes her smile, sort of :). I'll be waiting. xx Edward. P.S. Love you, too._

"Bella? Bella?"

"Bella!"

My head shot up. "Sorry, what?"

"What do you want?"

"Oh." I looked at the menu and picked the first things on the list.

I hastily typed a reply while I followed Alice and Honor to a table.

"Can't you do without Edward for just _one_ second, Bella?"

"I can. I just don't see the reason why I should."

Honor chuckled.

"How's the film going?" I asked her.

"You mean _Still Water_?"

"_Still Water_?"

"That's the film Honor will start filming this month, with Alec."

Honor shot her sister a disapproving look, who just smiled at her.

"Ah. No, I meant _Occupy Rangers_."

"Post-production is going great. There might be a chance it will be finished before London Film Festival hits off," she smiled, her eyes twinkling.

"That's great."

* * *

"Are you going to tell me about the gown you picked?" Edward demanded, putting on his husky voice.

He was so not being fair, once again.

"No, Edward. Those are the rules. You just have to be patient."

"I don't like being patient."

"Do you think I'm patient?"

"Aren't you?"

"Not exactly, no."

"Then why on earth haven't we married already?"

"Because I wanted to give birth and take my exams first. That's why."

"Right. Three months of waiting it is."

I chuckled and leaned in to stroke my fingers over his cheek.

"I love you."

Edward flashed a shy smile.

I went to stand on my tiptoes so I could reach his face and softly placed a kiss on his lips.

* * *

"Can I help you?" a production assistant asked, eying me suspiciously.

"No, err…I'm just waiting on my fiancé," I flushed, looking at my hands.

While Edward, and Honor, was busy talking with the producers and director of _Occupy __Rangers_, I was waiting for him outside the room.

"Well, this isn't a waiting room, so I've to ask you to wait outside."

"My fiancé said I had to wait here, and that it was okay if I did so."

"That doesn't change the rules, miss."

"I'm sorry to say, but I think the producers care more about him than you, also meaning his wishes and commands."

I knew I was sounding like a bitch now. _It is true, though _a voice in my head told me.

The drop of her jaw was almost audible.

I was just about to apologize for my harsh behavior, when the approach of footsteps saved me from more humiliation and sorry feelings.

My whole body relaxed when the footsteps turned out to belong to Edward.

"Hello Melissa," he greeted the production assistant, before turning to me.

His eyes lit up and his lips pulled in that damn sexy crooked smile.

"Hi," I squealed, smiling like a fool.

"Hel-lo my lady," Edward retorted, cuddling me to his chest.

I let out a giggle.

"You okay? You looked a little pissy, love."

Ah, great. Edward probably would never let me forget this if I told him.

Although I had to say Edward saying pissy sounded really…funny.

"Well, uhm…Melissa, you see…she wanted me to go out since I was waiting here and this isn't a waiting room. Then I got a little bitchy…well, actually really bitchy, and said you were more important to the producers than her. I know it was a low-blow," I admitted, hiding my face against his chest.

His laugh vibrated through his body, causing me to shake with him.

"I agree. A real low-blow, Miss Swan. I didn't know you had it in you. You're right, though. I'm probably more important."

"Of course you are," I said matter-of-factly.

* * *

The time in London flew by.

We went to see two plays at West End, caught a film, visited Tate Modern and had dinner on the seventh floor looking out over the Thames and St. Paul's Cathedral. Edward took me out for a romantic dinner twice, and now on our last evening in the British capital, we took a ride in the London Eye.

"It's so beautiful, Edward," I brought out, mesmerized by the beauty of London.

"It is, huh?" he whispered, having his arm around my shoulder and placing a lingering kiss on my temple.

"I was serious about us moving to London," he continued.

"I know."

"You, in contrast, seemed a little hesitant. Why?"

I swallowed, not wanting to kill his mood, but I knew he deserved an answer. A true and honest answer.

"Because I need time. Moving is an exhausting process itself, let alone moving to another country across the ocean. It's not something you rush."

"It's not something you have to over-think either," he argued.

"Edward," I sighed, closing my eyes so I could resist him and make my point. "I _do _want us to move to London. I really, really do. Just have some patience with me, okay? I want to have wrapped up a project I'm working on now and I want Auden to be a little older. I want to look for a job quietly, taking my time, and preparing for the move with attention. I want to be sure of everything first."

"Okay?" he drawled out, making it sound like a question.

"I'm serious here, Cullen."

"I know, my Bella, I know. And that's why we'll take it slow. You can't prevent me from looking at houses already, though."

"You stubborn arse."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, mister."

"Did my fiancée seriously just called me 'stubborn arse'?"

"Fuck off."

"I rather fuck you actually, but you already knew that."

"You know, Edward, I seriously think you should change your middle name into smart-ass."

"I like Anthony better, to be honest."

"Edw–!"

My cry got lost in his mouth, his demanding lips on mine.

"Shit, you're so fucking hot when you're pissed," he breathed in my ear.

"And you're such a boy."

He pulled up his eyebrows.

"No Edward, don't start this again."

I was really, really grateful for the fact we'd gotten a cabin for just the family, which was already embarrassing enough.

Edward looked down suddenly.

"Edward? What is it?"

He moved his glance to the view down below.

"Honey, could you please tell me what's the matter? You're worrying me, and I don't like that. Have I insulted you?"

Edward chuckled nervously. "You can never insult me, Isabella. Not really."

"Then tell me."

He took a deep breath. "You know I still do model jobs from time to time, right?"

"Yes."

My mind took me back to a few days ago, when Edward took me out to the Burberry offices where he would have a photo shoot for the label.

My gosh, he'd looked so fucking hot and beautiful. And he was all mine.

Ass that he was, and is, Edward had asked the head-designer and the photographer if it was okay if his fiancée would model along with him.

They'd said yes.

Probably only because Edward was beyond beautiful and was pretty damn famous and had a British look _and_ had been a model for the brand since he was a kid.

"Edward," I'd hissed. "What the fuck have you done? I've never ever modeled before!"

"Isabella, baby, all you have to do is look in the camera with a neutral face. Now go get your hair and make-up done and get dressed."

The styling people had put me in a fabulous coat and dress. And the highest heeled boots they had.

Edward had come walking up to me when they'd just zipped up my thigh high boots.

"You should see yourself, Isabella. All I want to do is fuck you, right here, right now," he'd whispered huskily in my ear, his voice dripping of lust.

"Edward, that isn't really helping with my nerves, and I still have to walk a yard or five."

"I'll hold your hand."

"You better."

"I might make up my wish."

"Edward."

"Oh, you look gorgeous Isabella. Edward was entirely right about you being perfect for this."

I wasn't so sure about that myself. I didn't have such prominent cheekbones and jaws as the rest of the models, including Edward.

"Baby," Edward brought me out of my memory.

"Mhm?" I hummed.

"Are you still with me?"

"Mhm."

He chuckled. "As I said, I still do modeling jobs and have an agency and such…well, I'm asked to do a commercial, for Volvo."

_Of course_, it had to happen one day.

With Edward being a loyal Volvo driver since the moment he'd gotten his license, he couldn't say no to Volvo when they would ask him for promotional stuff.

It'd happened with Converse, Vans, Ray and Urban Outfitters that way.

Some people simply knew him as Mr. Ray Ban.

"Of course," I muttered. "When?"

"They want to film it on the coast, because of the raw nature, rocks, cliffs…you name it."

"Okay."

"I said yes. On one condition."

"What's the condition?"

"You would sit next to me."

"Huh?"

"I will be filmed while driving. I want you to sit next to me."

Fuck.

But oh, why the hell not? It probably meant I could watch Edward driving – which was truly a sight to behold – and smiled at him wickedly.

I was okay with that.

"Seems Volvo got a deal."

"You're in?"

"Yes. Why are you so surprised?"

"I never know what you will say. You always know how to surprise me."

"That is not true, Edward. You know me better than anyone else. Hell, I think even better than myself sometimes."

He grinned.

I shook my head. "You are…" I didn't know what word to use to express his behavior.

"What am I?"

"You're really wicked."

"So?"

"So nothing."

* * *

_**FAQ'S:**_  
**-Once again, the Cullens played football as in soccer, not football as in American football.**  
**-Bella had walked shows for Alice, but hadn't done any photo shoots before.**  
**-Carlisle has got 1 older brother, John. John is in the British army and has 4 children: boys Bradley 'Brad', Eitan, Lennon and daughter Charlotte 'Charley'.**  
**They've also got 2 younger sisters, named Robin and Sian.**  
**Robin is a fashion stylist for celebrities and photo shoots. She's got 2 children, son Samuel 'Sam' and daughter Harrison.**  
**Sian is a script-writer (and in the Academy Award comite) and has got 3 girls: Maggie, Lucy and Billie.**

**I hope I made up the long wait by a pretty damn long chapter. Let me know what you think, what you wish to happen, what you DON'T wish to hapen, etc. Also, it is not my intention to hurt anybody with the little histroy of Philip Cullen, how he turned away from faith. I myself am not religious, neither the Cullens, but I just wanted to express Philip's heart never lay with being a minister.**

The talk with Eleazar, and the revelevation it brought, was my favourite part.

Snow Patrol – Perfect Little Secret !**I HIGLY RECOMMEND THIS SONG!  
**Bat For Lashes & Beck – Let's Get Lost  
Sia – My Love  
Sia – Clap Your Hands  
Unkle & The Black Angels – With You In My Head  
Mazzy Star – Into Dust(used in the TV-series Moonlight)


	20. For You

**DATING FAME  
chapter 20: **_**For **__**You**_

_**Disclaimer: all original characters, films, characteristics belong to their respectful owners. i just own this fanfic.**_

**And as always, thanks to my beta,**_** With The What Now.**_

**

* * *

****EPOV**

In a few days, I would head to LA to start filming _Water For Elephants_, but before I went, I had something to go to first.

A session with my therapist/shrink/psychologist/whatever-you-wanted-to-talk-with, Camille Wilde.

Coincidentally, a character in _Water For Elephants_ was named Camille as well. A character who befriended my own character, developing a strong brother-sister relationship. Camille in the film would be played by the same actress who'd played the oldest of my two younger sisters in _Remember Me_.

Camille Wilde had been my shrink since my twenty-first birthday. We didn't have weekly sessions, but whenever I felt the need to talk to someone outside my circle of family and friends, I called her and we set up a round of sessions for a certain amount of time.

Due to the fact our schedules had been quite busy the last few months, the session scheduled today was the first in over half a year.

Camille Wilde had started off in London, followed by Santa Monica and had now settled down in New York City.

You were still able to hear a subtle trace of her original Isle of Wight accent, and we often had heated arguments about British places and bands. If I wasn't pouring out my problems and fears.

After I'd parked my car at the curb, I hastily ducked into the building that held Camille's office.

She welcomed me in myself. "Edward," she said, taking me in a hug. "Long time no see. How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks. You?"

"Great. Shall we get started?"

I nodded.

Camille leaded me into her office, which was like an oasis of peace and rest.

I sat down on the couch as she took place on a arm chair across me, grabbing a file from her desk on her way.

She glanced at the pages of notes she'd made over the course of sessions, nodding to herself. "Alright, Edward, if I'm correct, the event of you leaving Isabella has been a cloud over your life ever since, right?"

"Yes," I said firmly. _As it should be._

"Then, let's start at the beginning. Why did you leave her? What made you do it?"

I didn't like thinking back of the reason which led me to the stupidest decision I've ever made in my life, but I knew I had to get through this.

I couldn't stay the brooding man forever. I had to open up to move forward, or I might do it again: push away those who I loved most, who loved _me _most.

I cleared my throat. "I left…I left because I saw the pain and fear I was putting her in, and therefore our baby, too. It killed me to see the tears in her eyes, but she stayed strong. The worst thing was, _I_ was the reason for her distress. _I_'d pushed her into it. I'd promised myself I would never put her in such horror ever again. And then…" I trailed off, emotions getting the better of me and making it unable to speak on.

"Then it only became worse?"

"Yes. Before, we'd been a low-key couple. She accompanied me to many premieres and award shows, but _never ever_ walked the red carpet with me. Everyone knew I had a girlfriend, but they couldn't put an identity to her. Until last autumn, that is."

"What changed?"

"My pride, my pride of her took hold of me, made me speak out about her, revealing her name, her occupation, how we'd met, etcetera."

"Was that a bad thing?"

"No, not at first. But then I started to notice how it affected Bella. She became more paranoid, more prone, but once again kept strong. Paparazzi started to follow me _everywhere_, even more than they used to, all to get footage of Bella and me. I made her feel obligated saying I needed her with me."

"Was that a lie? Did you say you needed her at your side just so she would come with you?"

"No! No, I truly did. I still do."

"Then why do you think you pushed her into something if you were completely honest with her? Isabella is a grown-up woman, Edward. As far as I know, she's perfectly capable of making her own decisions."

Camille had a point there.

But still…

"Isabella and I…we have a very intense relationship, both of us being entirely dependent on the other one. She's my comfort, my haven, my everything. I didn't mean to fall in love, so deeply, at a such a young age, but I did, and hard."

"What made you fall so hard for her?"

Jeez, she knew how to come up with the hardest questions.

"I…I can't explain it. It's something which can't be expressed by words, or images. I remember looking into her chocolate brown eyes, and how it made me feel safe, comforted and _happy_. I wanted to get to know her, and I felt myself drawn to her. My blood boiled whenever a guy made her laugh, touched her…" I shivered at the thought, which still affected my jealous and possessive side.

"I'd never been really in love before, so I didn't realize I was in _love_ with Isabella. It was my sister who pointed it out."

"Did that shock you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Well, because I'd never felt like that before, and didn't know how to handle it, how to cope with it."

"So, when your sister told you that you were in love with Bella, you realized you were?"

"It took me some thinking, but yes, it was like an eye-opener. I asked my family about it, how they'd experienced it, how they knew it, knew they were in love with one another. Wherever I was, whatever I did, Isabella was always on my mind. Even when I went out for a walk in the woods. That was when I knew I did love her."

"Why didn't you ever go public with your relationship?"

"Why would I? Bella and I are both private, and we knew how fame and the media could destroy even the most solid of relationships. I wouldn't…couldn't think of such a thing happening to us. Why would I want to share with everyone the most important thing in my life?"

Camille scribbled down furiously.

"You said you felt you pushed her into things she actually didn't want. Have these feelings ever been confirmed by anyone else? Bella herself, family, friends?"

"Well…not really _confirmed_, but my family warned me to take it slow. I talked with Bella about it, but she said she was perfectly fine with it, and that I didn't need to worry."

"So you didn't."

"No. Why should I doubt her? Like you said, Bella is a smart, independent and strong woman."

"And yet, you made the decision to leave her."

I bit my cheek. "Yes."

"You said you left her because the position you'd put her in pained and feared her, am I right?"

I nodded.

"What did you want to accomplish with your decision to leave her?"

"I wanted her to be out of the pain and fear zone. I wanted her to live in peace, without any intervention of paparazzi, media, stalkers, fan girls…" I trailed off.

"Without any intervention of _you_?"

"Yes," I said in a small voice.

"You were willing to give up your own happiness, your reason for being, for her happiness," Camille stated.

"And the baby's, yes."

"And you didn't think her feelings for you were as deep as yours for her?"

"Well…I…I don't know. I wanted her to have a happy, normal life, and for that I was willing to leave her."

"Don't you think all she needed in order to have a happy life was you?"

Had my shrink talked with Bella or something? Camille seemed to know all about me, and her, and us.

"Err…"

"Edward, you made a bad decision. That we all know. But what I'm curious about, is the _why _and_ what_. What made you do it? What made you put all yours, and hers, feelings and needs aside to leave, while she needed you the most, at eight months pregnant?"

"I'm an asshole, I know."

"No, you're not, Edward. You are a passionate, stubborn man, who is madly in love with a woman…"

"My fiancée, Isabella," I addressed her.

"With your fiancée, yes. You did what you thought was best. Why? Why did you do it?"

"Like I said, I wanted to put her out of her fear and distress. I'm a selfish, possessive man, but when it comes to Isabella's happiness, I will do anything for it. Even if it means I have to give up my own happiness."

"After, when you returned, how did you think back of the week you were away?"

"With embarrassment, fury…I was so, so fucking angry on myself. So disappointed. I wanted so badly to go back in time and not leave."

"Edward, this may sound incredible to your ears, but I think your decision made you and Bella stronger in the end."

I opened my mouth to disagree, but she silenced me.

"No."

"I don't….I don't want to talk about it, anymore, for today. Can we…can't we talk about something else?"

"Of course. This is all in your hands. Why not talk about your daughter? Is that alright?"

Just the mentioning of Auden, made my lips pull up in a proud, blissful smile.

"I see that as a yes."

I nodded.

"What's she like?"

"She's perfect, like an angel. I've always wanted to have kids, in the future. The moment I first held her, everything shifted. All that mattered was her, that she was safe and happy and comfortable. And God, she's so beautiful. She has her mother's lips and nose, and rosy cheeks."

"And your hair, so I've heard?"

"Yes. Auden has the same hair color as I do, and she's got my features."

"Did the arrival of Auden change anything between Bella and you?"

"Of course. Having the fruit of our love in living life is something entirely different, more real, from seeing it in echos. It brought us closer. We're connected in an unbreakable, eternal bond, in that of our child, our daughter. We're both living on in another little creature."

Auden's beautiful little face came up my mind. The little girl who has possessed my heart ever since she showed her head around. Her face, showing off my features, her mother's perfect plump and full lips and adorable nose. My little angel.

"I've talked with your family beforehand, as I said I would do on our first meeting. Although these sessions are entirely about you, your family involuntarily is a part of it, too. I've come to know you Cullen's are extremely close."

"Yes."

"Does that show to be a bad thing, sometimes?"

"When I was younger, I occasionally felt suffocated. My parents, my brother, my sister, adoptive siblings all seemed to have found their spot in the world, their love, while I didn't."

"Did you talk about it?"

"Yes, with my other sister, Honor Rose. She was dealing with feelings of the same sort and I didn't feel as if I was hurting someone's feelings when I opened up to her. She got me, you know."

"Do you still feel suffocated? Or did you find a way to deal with the feeling of suffocation?"

"Honor and I would go out for a walk. She used writing, I composing, to let our feelings and emotions the free way. And no, I don't feel suffocated anymore. I've found my place."

"Alright, let's look at this one point at a time. Did your parents know how you and your younger sister felt?"

"Partly, yeah. My mom and dad knew Honor and I were having a hard time. My siblings all had rough adolescences, too, but at least they'd had each other to share it with. At school, I was on my own, because Honor was attending middle school."

"Have you ever felt your parents were lacking something in your upbringing?"

"No! No! It was _me_, _me_ who has been ungrateful of their compassion and sacrifices."

"Why do you think that, Edward?"

"I never showed any gratitude. They've sacrificed so much to give us peace, to make us have a life as normal as possible. They never spoiled us. I mean, we've always lived in giant houses and gone to prestigious schools, but we've been raised normally. I never thanked my parents for what they've done for us. At the time, I just didn't see it."

"Edward, I think there might be a link between your insecurities you felt in your teens and the ones you feel now. They might not be the same, but you're still haunted by them."

"Yes, maybe," I mumbled, embarrassed.

"There's nothing wrong with feeling insecure, but you mustn't let it over-take you, either. I would like to talk about your insecurities later, but for now there's something I can't really put my head around. You haven't forgiven yourself for leaving Bella…"

"And never will, as I shouldn't," I cut her off

"Why do you feel like that, Edward? Why can't you let it go? It's never good to keep hanging in the past. You can't change anything."

"_I_ _left_ _her_! I left Bella, my everything. I left her when she needed me most. I hurt her, I turned my back on her, on my family. And to top it all, she was eight months pregnant with my daughter at the time! Would you forgive your fiancé if he pulled such a trick?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes. Edward, forgiving, _really_ forgiving, is the key to fully moving on. You won't be able to let go, if you won't forgive yourself. Why won't you move on?"

"I just told you why. I did something unforgivable."

"You did something towards Bella, but she's forgiven you months ago. What makes you that you can't follow in her steps?"

"Bella," I started, searching for the right words. "Bella…she's…she's way too soft on me, she's so kind-hearted. When I came back, she needed me too much to put her feet down."

"Did she come back on her decision to not give you a hard time?"

"No, not really. I know she's grown more anxious when I'm away from her, and that's my fault."

"Edward, I think it would be wise if I would talk to Bella herself, too. You are the one standing in the way of yourself. I know you could forgive yourself. It won't happen over-night, and it's something you've to work on. I'll give you this, though, Edward: you have to let it go, or it will keep eating on you until there's nothing left to eat on. Believe me, you don't want that."

I nodded, not knowing what to say to that.

"It's great to hear the love for her in your voice, Edward. It brings me much of joy."

I smiled sheepishly. "She's really good for me, too good. I don't know what I would have been without her."

* * *

**BPOV**

I spent the months in between the London trip and Edward's birthday preparing for my final exams, having Edward as a tutor, the birthdays of Emmett and Rosalie, meetings about my upcoming collection of short stories and poems, ogling my fiancé, being a mother to my daughter and writing a story that had come to my mind.

The time certainly flew by, you could say.

I was making myself breakfast, watching the news on the mini-TV in the kitchen when the commercial break came up, showing the raw and high cliffs of the England coast, zooming in on a SUV.

Brand? Volvo.

The commercial Edward and I had done for Volvo, filmed during our time in London.

Jee, I was looking fucking goo goo at Edward. It was almost embarrassing. Nonetheless, the end result looked pretty damn awesome.

For now, I hadn't much to do; the house was cleaned, Auden was fed and asleep, my exam's revised. Edward was filming in LA, so I busied myself watching my favorite TV series on DVD. _Moonlight_.

Sadly, it had been canceled after one season.

Edward had had a vampire guest role for three episodes in the LA-based vampire show.

When I was half way through the first episode, the baby-alarm told me my daughter had woken up.

I put down my cup of tea and stood, putting the DVD on hold as I made my way to Auden.

She was making choked sounds, her eyes wide open.

"Hey," I said softly, as I took her in my arms. "Did you wake up? Mommy's here now. Nothing to worry about."

She eagerly sucked on my pinkie.

"Is my little angel hungry? Well, we can do something about that."

I sat down in the rocking chair in the corner to feed her, and as she eagerly drank, I took in her room.

Edward really had done a miraculous job.

The color scheme was kept light and soft, as was the furniture. The wooden closet had gotten a white brush of paint, as had her crib and dresser.

Many framed photos were already gracing the walls.

Auden had stopped drinking, so I swooped her up, giving her the opportunity to burp.

I kissed the crown of her head as I made my way to the window, grabbing a book of poetry with me.

I propped myself up in the nook, reading the words to Auden.

And as she dozed off to sleep, I realized how much peace and rest this brought me.

If you'd asked me five years ago how I would picture my life in five years time, I wouldn't have said I would have been an engaged mother.

But then again, thinking of being a mother and actually being one is completely different.

The absolute devotion and protectiveness you feel over your child the moment you first lay eyes on her are two things you can't feel or fully understand when you've never experienced it.

Although my life could be pretty damn hectic from time to time and I had to miss out on Edward more than I liked, ever since I'd become a mother, my life had become more peaceful.

With everything I did, Auden was always there in my thoughts.

All had shifted to make way for her, for her well-being, for her health. All that mattered now was the wish for my daughter to have a happy and carefree childhood as much as possible.

Edward and I both didn't want anything to do with a nanny, wanting to raise Auden ourselves. If we needed someone to baby-sit her, we could always ask family or friends to help out.

After the intense period of time Edward and I had spent together the past two months, it was weird not having him close. He wouldn't come home for dinner, he wouldn't kiss me good morning or goodnight.

Although I missed him like crazy, I knew a little distance was good for us, too. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, after all.

Besides, I'd many things to do myself.

Preparing for my exams was taking up a lot of my time, of course, talking things through with my editor, giving my opinion on Alice's plans for my wedding and being a mother to Auden.

My phone buzzed, and carefully so as not to hurt or disturb my daughter, I fished it out of my pocket.

It was a text.

From Edward.

_I miss you. I love you. x. Edward._

God, he could be so obtuse sometimes.

Smiling, I typed a response.

_Same here. yours, x. Bella._

Almost instantly, I received his response.

_How is my other angel doing?_

Once again not able to keep a goofy grin off my face, I typed an answer.

If we were going to behave like loved-crazy teenagers and text on and on, wasn't it better we call?

Yes, but I enjoyed this feeling way too much to put it to a stop, get over it and just call him.

_She's doing mighty fine. Missing her Daddy, just as Mommy does._

_Missing me, eh?_ he texted back.

_Of course I do. _

Just as I'd pressed the send button, my phone buzzed again, from an incoming call this time.

Thanks to Caller ID, I didn't have to wait for the ring tone to sound off to know who it was.

Guess somebody grew really desperate after all.

"Hello?" I took up, deciding to tease him a little bit.

"Isabella, I know you've got Caller ID and I know you know it's me. Don't play this game with me," my fiancé spoke.

"I do as I please, Mr Cullen."

"Do you now, Miss Swan?"

I rolled my eyes. "Hi."

"Hey."

"How's your day so far?"

"I had to be on set at five, and I'm now in make-up and all that shit. You?"

"I'm good. I had breakfast in front of the TV, watching you playing a badass, tortured vampire. It was a very nice start of my day."

I heard Edward smirk. "Me, eh?"

"Yes, Edward. I love watching you, in every way possible. I'm crazy about you. Deal with it."

Edward laughed.

In the background, I heard voices.

"Are you the only actor in the make-up thing trailer?"

"No, I'm not the only one. It's crowded as hell."

"And still you call me?"

"Yes."

"What have you been listening to?" I knew he always listened to music the hours before he would have to do his scenes; on the way to the set, in make-up, in his trailer. Whenever, wherever he could, he put on his headphones/earphones and let the music on his iPod calm him.

"You know me so well. Lots of things."

"If _you_ know _me_ so well, you know I want details, Edward, I want to hear details."

"Old stuff, new stuff. Van Morrison, The Smits, Bryan Ferry, Kings of Leon, some piece of The Cinematic Orchestra that Honor managed to put on here….enough details for you?"

"Yes," I said, my voice suddenly thick with adoration for this man.

"Bella, are you okay? You sound upset."

"No, I'm fine. I'm just overwhelmed, once again, by the realization of how much I actually love you."

"Oh. Is that a good thing?"

"Of course it is, silly!"

"I was just asking. You never know."

"I love you, Edward Cullen."

"I love you, Isabella Swan."

"And I can't wait to marry you in two months and a bit."

"Me neither. Why didn't we marry immediately?"

"Because we had important things to finish first. I want to say 'I do' when I've nothing on my mind but us."

"But us," he agreed.

"_Edward, you're requested on set," _someone spoke.

"Okay. I'll be down in a minute," Edward answered. "Gotta go, baby. Call me when you go to bed?" he said, to me now.

"Always. And good luck today. Make me proud."

"Always," he quoted me. "And thank you. I love you."

"I love you, too," I said softly.

"Isabella, I'm going to hang up now, because otherwise I'll never make it to the set."

"Okay. Bye."

"Counting down the days till I get to see you again. Bye."

And the line went dead.

_Bye._

_

* * *

_Since Edward was filming in LA, Jasper on a small-scaled tour with his band _Texas_ _Rangers_, and Emmett had a photo-shoot in Alaska, Alice and Rosalie had invited themselves over to my place.

While I was dressed in comfy clothes and basic colors, Alice – _pregnant _Alice – showed up on high heels, wearing a glittering top, expensive looking coat, vintage sunglasses and designer jeans.

She scoffed at my outfit, but I silenced her before she was able to start a rant.

"My house, my rules."

"Sure," she sighed, making her way to the kitchen to store the goods she'd brought along.

"I hopped into Starbucks on my way here, so we have coffee, muffins, the cinnamon sweet you like so much, fruit drinks, sandwiches…oh, and I made chocolate chip cookies at home."

Alice Cullen baking?

That was a sight rather difficult to imagine.

Not much later, Rose arrived, dressed in the way we knew her: black and grey from head to toe.

Tristan sat on her arm, looking as stylish as ever.

As we'd settled over the phone earlier, I was to be the hostess, Alice would take care of the sweets, drinks and other food, and Rosalie would supply the entertainment.

"Alright, woman, what did you bring?"

"Tristan."

"Entertainment, Rose, I'm talking about entertainment here, not about your adorable little boy."

"I know," Rose said, giving Tristan a kiss on his head as she pulled off his short black trench coat.

"Hey sweetie," she smiled at her son, lifting him up on her arm and grabbing her bag with the other.

"I brought _The_ _Boat_ _That_ _Rocked_, _What_ _Just_ _Happened_, _The_ _Notebook_, _The_ _Runaways_ and _Kick-Ass_," she summed up. "Good enough for you?"

"Absolutely."

"I didn't really know what to bring along, so I just took some. Em didn't let me go without _The_ _Boat_ _That_ _Rocked_."

"That's about a pirate radio station on a boat, right?"

"Yeah. My man loves that film."

"A good friend of Honor's has a role in it. Hon herself got to be an extra."

"And well, myself I love _What_ _Just_ _Happened_, as I have it big for Robert DeNiro," Rose continued.

"Who doesn't?"

"Lucky Honor got to play his fucking daughter. Bitch," Alice scoffed jokingly.

"_The_ _Runaways_ because I love to see girls to kick-ass and rock around," Rose went on explaining her choice of films.

"Oh, and you brought _Kick_-_Ass_? I love, love, love that film. I called the director to ask if he needed someone to do the wardrobe. Lucky me, he said yes. It was epic," Alice shrieked.

My eye fell on one of the discs. "_The_ _Notebook_. God, I can't see that film too many times. Edward always sighs and rolls his eyes at me when I put it on, but if he doesn't he'll join me on the couch as soon as the titles roll," I chuckled.

"What can I say? The Cullen men love them some love-stories. _The_ _Notebook_ is just ingenious. Emmett is a pussy for it, too. Once, during my pregnancy, we had kind of gotten in a little fight, and in my hormonal rush I told him he could sleep on the couch.

"The next morning, the scent of breakfast being prepared woke me up. Em never really is the morning person, so I went downstairs to investigate. He heard me coming and said in a nervously, "No, Rose, don't come in. Go back to bed." He sounded so adorable, so I obeyed. I'd wanted to finish reading this book anyway. Half an hour later or so, I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. The sight of him entering our room, holding a tray with breakfast, a rose in a vase…is something I'll never forget. That's the man I fell in love with. Beneath the though surface, the ever-present booming voice and muscular body, Emmett is the sweetest, most caring man I've ever met. Along the breakfast and rose, he'd also grabbed _The_ _Notebook_ from downstairs to watch in bed."

"Aw, Em really loves you."

Rosalie flushed, a rarity, and subtly hid her face in Tristan's hair. Too bad he didn't have much, yet.

"I bet Edward calls you every minute," Alice said, after we'd put down all the food and drinks on the coffee table, and reached out for her Starbucks.

"Don't overemphasize, Alice," I muttered.

"You know what I mean. Every minute he can."

"Sort of, yes."

"Gosh, he's hopeless. I mean, it's amazing you two have such a bond, but you practically can't live without each other."

"I think he's just anxious because he doesn't want to miss out on Auden's development."

"He wouldn't miss anything. It's not as if she'll have turned into a walking, talking toddler by the time he comes back."

"True, but each minute away from her, and me, is one too many for him."

Alice sighed, looking down at her hands.

"Alice, it's not your fault he's feeling like that."

"I know, but I haven't been there enough for him. He's been through a hard time, and I didn't even notice. Again and again, Edward has been there for me; tranquil and patient, telling me whenever I'd gone overboard again, when I had to stop for a minute and take a deep breath, soothing me when people had been gossiping about me again. They can gossip what they can, and it won't make me behave or dress differently, but it isn't nice to be labeled as the school's nuthead, though." Embarrassed, she looked away.

"Alice, Edward loves you. He doesn't think you've done anything wrong, or lacked in anything. You mean so much to him, and despite the fact you can annoy the hell out of each other, you're so dear to him," I said sincerely, patting her arm.

"Thank you," she smiled, whipping away her tears. "Now, let's get this party started!" she yelled.

"At last," Rosalie sighed, randomly handing me a DVD.

Tristan sat on her lap, once again mesmerized by his mommy's necklace.

"You like her necklace, Tristan?" Alice chuckled.

He looked up, wondering where the voice had come from.

"Ah God, my nephew is so cute. He's going to be a real heart-breaker as a teenager."

"Let's not worry about that for now, huh, honey?" Rosalie said, ducking her head to get his attention. "I'm going to get something for Tristan. I'll be back before it starts."

"Sure, Rose."

My phone buzzed as she stepped out of the room, Bat For Lashes filling the room.

_Daniel, when I first saw you  
I knew that you had a flame in your heart  
and under our blue skies  
marble movie skies  
I found a home in your eyes  
We'll never be apart_

"Oh My God! Don't go telling me you put Daniel as your ring tone for Edward!" Alice cried.

I shrugged my shoulders at her, grabbing my phone. "Isabella Swan-soon-to-be-Cullen," I greeted my fiancé, knowing how much Edward loved it when I used my full name and soon-to-be second surname.

"Fuck, Isabella. You know how much it affects me if you call yourself like that."

"Hello to you, too, Edward."

"Hi," he greeted, his voice turning soft. "I fucking miss you. It's fucking warm here, all the animals creep the fuck out of me, my skin feels like it's going to fall off from blistering, I wish you and Auden were here…I bet she would love all of this," he rushed out.

"Honey, she's two months."

"So? Fillmore is fan-fucking-tastic, by the way. The historical centre, that is. You would love it."

"Will you be home for your birthday, actually?"

"Yep. Hon and I'll attend the MTV Movie Awards tomorrow, and I'll accompany her to a screening of hers at the Los Angeles Film Festival. For the rest, it's working, working, and more working. I'll come down to New York at the end of the month for your graduation, two gigs of Vampire Weekend and my birthday."

"Don't you dare to over-work yourself, mister. We need you here unscratched."

"I'll warn the director."

"You better."

"What ya doing yourself?"

"Your dear sister and adoptive sister have invited themselves over. We're gonna have a film day. Rose brought Tristan, too. He's so sweet, the perfect mix between Emmett and Rosalie. If that's even possible."

"Yeah, Tristan is cool. I think I like him better than his dad."

I laughed.

"Don't tell!"

"I won't."

Alice motioned to the screen.

"Oh, film's going to start. Enjoy the day, babe. Speak to you later."

"Hell yes you do. Give Auden a kiss for me. I miss her like crazy; her little smile, the way she wrinkles her nose, the way she firmly grabs hold of your hand, the way she burps…God, my daughter is such an incredible creature."

"Tell me about it, I know. The girls are getting pissy. Love you."

"Love you, too."

After we'd hang up on each other, I placed my phone on the coffee table.

Alice and Rosalie looked at me, before turning to each other, rolling their eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Jeez, as if you two don't text, call or whatever with Jazz and Em. Believe me, you do. Rose, you and Em can be sickening to watch when you savor each other as if you were alone. Alice, you and Jasper…you might not be as physical as Rosalie and Emmett, but the looks you give each other are loud enough. So don't you dare to whine about Edward and my relationship."

A long silence followed.

Good, they understood.

"You know, just now I realize that three of the five films I brought along, feature Honor. I didn't mean to, but Hon just knows how to pick the projects," Rosalie spoke.

"Now you mention it, yes indeed. But she look so different in each, you almost forget it's her," Alice fell in.

"Isn't that weird? Seeing your sibling, someone you know so closely, playing someone different?" I asked.

"No, not really. It's weirder to see yourself. Not that I experience that often, but I know both Edward and Honor aren't too fond of seeing themselves on the big screen. Scallywags that they are, they creep out of the theatre as soon as the opening credits roll and spend the film at the bar."

We laughed.

Two films into the day, we had a break and I went upstairs to see how my little girl was doing.

I had no experience with the development of babies, and of course every child was different, but I would swear my daughter was a little ahead of babies her age.

I mean, she was barely two months old and she already recognized me and Edward, she could smile and made little sounds, and if I'm not mistaken I'd read somewhere it was about the twelfth month children started to see the difference between faces.

Nonetheless, Auden's face lit up as soon as she noticed me or her father.

"I'm so proud of you, sweetie," I whispered to her, as she was cradled against my chest.

I grabbed her maxi-cosi with my free hand and made my way back downstairs.

Maybe it was because Edward wasn't here with me, but the thought of Auden not being in my eyesight made me a little anxious and I'd rather I had her as close to me as possible. I was sure she wouldn't really care about where exactly she was to sleep.

As Alice and Rosalie saw me entering holding Auden, their faces lit up.

"Hey, how's my little niece doing?" Alice beamed.

"She's doing great," I smiled, handing Auden over to her excited aunt.

I looked on with pride and adoration as Alice held her.

"She's so beautiful, Bella. Breathtakingly beautiful. It's so bizarre she's half you and half my brother…that Auden is the daughter of the brother who's like my twin, with whom I lived in a house together for years...," she muttered, tears welling up in her eyes.

She looked up at me, smiling embarrassingly, and leaned over to squeeze my hand.

Rosalie installed a curious Tristan next to Alice, so he could have a better view of his cousin.

The little boy kept looking back and forth between his mother and Auden.

We all chuckled at his adorable wide-eyed look.

"That's Auden," Rosalie explained slowly. "She's uncle Edward's and auntie Bella's daughter," she continued, pointing at me.

Tristan followed his mother's finger, looking up at me curiously.

I smiled at him.

"And she's your cousin."

He had to think about that for a moment.

Rosalie took him on her lap, cuddling him closer against her, and kissed the side of his head. "I love you, my little boy," she whispered in his ear.

A little tired, Tristan leaned his head on her shoulder.

* * *

I knew Edward would be absolutely exhausted when he came off the plane.

He'd been working his ass off filming a new project in California, and would make a blizzard trip to New York for his birthday, among other things, before he would return to the set to finish filming. The film would wrap up a little over a week before our wedding.

In the time he was in LA, he'd also attended the MTV Movie Awards.

I'd sat myself on the couch, my daughter in my lap and took in the sight of my fiancé at the show.

He'd looked really tired.

And _of_ _course_ he'd own the popcorn for Superstar and Best Actor.

I'd beamed with pride, adoration and admiration, and couldn't stop tears from falling down my cheeks, as my so beloved and beautiful fiancé took up the stage and thanked his family, Auden and me in his acceptance speech.

"_I'd like to thank my family, for keeping me down-to-earth. And my fiancée, Bella, and our daughter, Auden, for making me the happy man I am now. Thank you. These are for you."_

He was looking his hot self in an outfit his character in _Water_ _For_ _Elephants_ could have worn, too.

I also loved his new hair cut. Thankfully, I was still able to move my hands through it and grab on tightly to it, though.

So, here I was, finding myself parking Edward's massive Volvo – I still couldn't think of it as ours – in a lot in JFK airport.

For the time Edward would be home, I would make sure he could just relax. He deserved to get pampered and spoiled.

"You're going to see Daddy again, honey," I smiled at my daughter, who looked more like her father every day.

I'd dressed her in black cotton pants and a grey tee that said _Daddy's_ _Little_ _Girl_.

With Auden in one arm, I grabbed a sheet and draped her in it, her arms still free, and got my purse.

I locked the car and strolled over to the entrance, making my way to the arrival hall.

Despite the fact I wasn't some world-famous actress, singer, model or personality, people knew who I was.

As did the paparazzi.

As the clicking and flashing begun, I draw Auden closer to my chest, kissing her forehead in a soothing motion.

I tuned out the parasites as best as I could, and luckily it didn't take long for Edward's plane to arrive.

My heart leaped as I spotted him.

God, he looked really worn out.

And although the filming clearly took its toll on him, I could also see how proud he was of _Water_ _For_ _Elephants_.

I pushed my way through the throng of people till I was about to bump into him.

"Hey," I greeted softly.

He looked up, his eyes widening in surprise at the sight of me, here, in JFK.

"Bella," he breathed out, cradling me to his chest.

Auden made a quiet sound in protest.

"Auden," he whimpered. I could see tears in his eyes. "I missed you two so fucking much. I don't know what possessed me when I signed on for this project, knowing it would start not even two months after Auden's birth. I'm fucking crazy."

"Hush," I silenced him, whipping away his fallen tears. "It's okay, Edward. You're here now."

"Yes. I'm here. You're here. I love you."

"I love you, too." I stood up on my tiptoes so I could kiss him.

As our lips touched, it felt as if I was about to explode. _Weeks_ had I been aching for his lips to touch mine.

And now they were.

As if it was the last day on earth, I savored him; his scent, the feeling of his perfect-shaped lips against mine.

"God, Bella. Let's get home. Now," Edward growled.

I nodded, as that was the only coherent thing I was able to do.

"Here," I said to Edward, handing him Auden. "I'll take your luggage."

Thank God, Edward didn't have any additional luggage, so we could walk out of the airport immediately.

Auden looked up at her father, her eyes lighting up in recognition. Her small hand went up to his cheek.

"Hey angel," Edward whispered, leaning in to place a kiss on her tiny nose.

He shielded her off with the blanket as we walked through the crowd of paparazzi.

Breaths of relief left our lungs as we finally reached the peace of the car.

"I'll drive," I insisted before Edward could reach the front seat and turn me into obeying mush with his scorching eyes.

"Bella, I can drive."

"Ah-ah-ah. You're not allowed to do anything. Just sit back and relax, okay?"

Edward huffed, but didn't argue.

Auden and the music filling the car pulled him out of his sullen mood quickly.

Halfway, he noticed the words on Auden's t-shirt.

"Bella," he gasped, staring at the words.

"Yes?"

"Where did…why…Daddy's Little Girl?" he stuttered.

"You mean the t-shirt?"

"Yes."

"Well, you know, I think Auden is a real Daddy's little girl, and Alice thought so, too. So, this is kind of a pre-birthday present for you. You like it?"

"I…ehm…it looks good on her."

"I think so, too."

"I'm not sure if I agree with you on the point of Auden being a Daddy's girl, though."

"It's not about being a Daddy's girl or not. It's about Auden being your little angel, your little girl. She's her daddy's little girl. Or isn't she?"

"You're right."

"You know…Auden and I could come over mid-July. I really want to see Fillmore myself, and the set and all. I also haven't visited Maya in months."

"You would?"

"Yeah, of course."

Edward hastily leaned over the console, kissing me quickly.

He was back to his previous position before I could register it.

"Wow," I managed to bring out.

My, he's really fast.

"So, since you'll come to LA, would you like to accompany me to a premiere?"

"I didn't know you had one."

"It's not of a film of my own. Although, I _do _have a cameo. It's Honor's."

"Which one?"

"_Inception_."

"You're kidding! Really?"

"Uh…yeah?"

"I would love to!" I squealed. "I'm so curious about it. I'm sure they'll get loads of awards for it."

"I take it you want to go with me?"

"Yes!"

"Hon told me she's invited Maya already, so your sister is out of the question to baby-sit Auden, but I've got a cousin and an aunt living in LA, too. They could watch over her. If that's okay with you, of course."

"Edward, you've got a wonderful family. Besides, I trust you, and therefore I trust your decisions."

Edward cringed.

"What?"

"So, you trusted my decision of abandoning you?"

My heart leaped a beat. "That was different," I whispered in a quiet voice.

"How so?"

"Edward, please, not now," I pleaded.

"You said you wanted to talk about it. You've been pushing me about it ever since London!"

"I did _not _ever push you, Edward Cullen! You know I didn't."

"Wrong choice of words, but I know you've been dying for me to open up."

"Yes, I want to know what made you do it, I want to hear your side of the story, in its entirety. But not before you're ready. I can wait, Edward. I can wait, for _you_. I know you've been talking with your therapist. But as long as you're not ready for me to hear it, then don't."

"Bella, it's not that I don't want you to know, because God if there's anyone who deserves to know everything, it's you. It's…it's just…I don't know how. I want you to have the perfect, clear story. I don't want to get it wrong."

"Honey, nothing can be perfect. Don't over-think this. Don't make it bigger, or smaller, than it is. Maybe, once you've told me, you'll feel so much lighter."

"Maybe."

"Why not sleep on it tonight, see how you feel tomorrow? You look exhausted. Rest first, okay?"

"That sounds great. Thank you."

The next day, I found myself propped up onto the couch in the living room, waiting for Edward to tell me his point of view.

He was holding Auden in his arms, looking at her intensely, like he was asking her for courage.

"Edward, you don't have to tell me."

"No, Bella, I do. I do have to. If there's anyone who deserves to hear my thoughts, it's you, Bella."

I bit my lip.

"Don't. You know how it distracts me," he muttered, pulling my lip from my bottom lip with his fingers.

My flush increased.

He put Auden in her carrier, placing a lingering kiss on her forehead, before he retreated back to his place on the couch.

Edward turned his body towards me, taking my hands in his. "Bella, I've made many, many, mistakes the past few months," he started.

"And they all turned out to hurt you, to drive a wedge between us. I vowed to myself a long time ago that I would protect you from any harm, and yet, the one I can't protect you from, is myself. Me, who's able to hurt you most. Me, who _has_ hurt you time and time again…"

"Edward…"

"No, please, let me get this right. You probably know the reason why I left. I left in vain, trying to protect you from myself. It was stupid, but in my desperation and agony I didn't see any other way out. I wanted you away from the pressure, the gossip and media, and since I was the one who'd brought you into it all, I was the one who had to get you out of it, so I left. I'm so, so sorry," he pleaded, his voice filled with pain.

"I got depressed quickly, started to doubt my decision. I desperately wanted you back," he continued, looking away from my eyes, gazing out of the window.

"Edward, would you have come back if Carlisle hadn't gotten to you?"

His eyes shot back to me. "Yes!" he shouted. "Yes. My resolve was weak, Bella. Very, very weak. I was about to jump on a plane if not for my dark thoughts keeping me back."

I nodded.

"Bella, one thing I never came to fully understand. Why did you forgive me so fast? Why did you take me back so quickly? You, the most stubborn woman I know."

Now it was my turn to look down at my hands. "I couldn't…I was too…Yes, I was beyond pissed and angry and disappointed and hurt, but I just couldn't do it anymore. Somehow, I just couldn't stay angry on you. I knew I needed you, with me, to sit out my pregnancy. Also, I think deep down, I knew you hadn't cheated on me in any way."

Edward bit his cheek.

"Don't," I said, stretching out my hand to stroke his stubble.

He leaned into my touch, turning his face so he could press his lips against my palm.

"Edward, why did you lie to me?"

"Because you shouldn't have forgiven me so easily, it was wrong. I didn't deserve you."

"Honey, that's not up to you. The lie you told affected not only me, but your family also. Honor even hit you!"

"Yeah, that she did."

"Do they know? Do they know you lied?"

He nodded. "I told Mom, and she made me tell the others. Honor Rose wanted to hit me again," he chuckled darkly.

"But everything is back to okay now?"

"Yes. Us Cullens, we're good. And are we? Are we good?"

"Yes, Edward, we're good," I smiled, nestling myself on his lap, grabbing his arms and pulling them around me. I looked at the sleeping form of our daughter. "We're really, really good."

Edward looked at Auden, too. "We're perfect," he whispered.

Yes, with Auden we were perfect.

I nuzzled his neck, pressing my lips against his skin. "Don't ever lie to me again," I whispered.

"I wish I could swear to you I won't baby, but I don't know if I can keep that promise."

"Not about something like that, at least. I love you, Edward. I trust you. You have to be honest and open with me. Share your fears and frustrations with me. Tell me how you're feeling. I'm here for you."

"I promise. And don't blame yourself for what I did to you. It was my decision, and mine only. All I wanted was you to have a peaceful life."

"I know. And you know what I want to do today?"

"Enlighten me?"

"I want to spend the day in bed. Reading, watching TV, enjoying spending time with just the three of us."

"Sounds perfect to me."

We spent half the day laying in our bed, dressed in our pj's.

Edward handed me a few scripts to read, wanting for my opinion. We watched our favorite films and ones he had to watch for upcoming projects. My fiancé told me all about the month of shooting he'd done now and how he couldn't wait to have me on set.

And all the while our two-and-a-half-months-old daughter laid in between us.

It often occurred we suddenly fell silent to just watch our little angel.

As we were doing now.

Edward and I were both laying on our sides, elbow propped up and a hand supporting our head.

"Thank you," I said, looking into his eyes with love and adoration.

"For what?"

"For loving me, for wanting me, for having given me Auden."

He smiled shyly. "Thank you, too," he responded, and carefully leaned over Auden and kissed me softly on the lips. "I love you. Always have, always will," he whispered in my ear, before pulling back and rolling onto his back.

"I'm hungry," he said to the ceiling.

"Well, do something about it."

"We have to get groceries."

"I know."

"I don't want to get out of bed."

"Me neither."

"I really am hungry, though."

"Me, too."

"And I really want to cook dinner, with you."

"Same here."

"Oh, just let's get this done with," he groaned. "Move up, woman."

"This woman," I said, pointing at my chest, "has a name."

"I know," Edward said, crawling on top of me. "Her name is Isa-bel-la, and I love her."

"Isabella loves you, too."

"Oh really? How can you tell?"

"Because I can, Mr Cullen," I smirked, propping myself up on my elbows so I could kiss him. "I thought you were hungry," I said against his lips.

"I am. Let's go, let's go."

"Whoa, someone's impatient."

"I'm always impatient."

"No, you're not."

"With you, I am."

I rolled my eyes as I moved off the bed. "Gah, what should I wear?"

"Just go in this," Edward said, motioning to my current outfit.

I looked myself down. I was wearing a pair of sweatpants and one of Edward's t-shirts. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?" he shrugged.

"I'm not wearing a bra."

"Forget what I said. I'll pick clothes for you."

"Okay, but only of I get to return the favor."

"Of course," he smiled, disappearing into our walk-in closet. "Don't peek!"

"I wouldn't dare."

I walked back to the bed, killing the time it took Edward to pick me clothes by rambling to my daughter.

"Ta da!" Edward announced.

I turned my head around, being met by a too adorable sight.

He was standing at the end of the bed, holding what seemed like a dress, a jacket and shoes in his arms.

"What do you think?" he asked, beaming.

God, he was clearly proud of himself. And it was so endearing to see.

"Let me see," I said, standing up from the bed and taking the pieces of clothing out of his arms.

He'd even got me underwear.

I propped up my eyebrow.

He grinned wickedly back at me, the sight making me giggle and want to kiss him, as I did.

"Well? Did I succeed?"

_Okay, focus. On the clothes. Focus on the clothes. Do not look at him before you've seen the clothes, _Itoldmyself_._

Edward had picked me a cream-colored summer dress, denim jacket and black ballerinas.

"You succeeded, as per usual."

His face lit up in a mega-watt smile.

"God, you can be such a child sometimes."

He simply shrugged his shoulders at me. "Now it's your turn. Surprise me."

As I walked to the closet, I turned around, gripping the door. "Do I have to pick something for Auden, too?"

"Whatever you want."

"Okay."

With my finger probed on my lip, I inspected the rows of clothes and shoes Edward and I behold. How we've gotten to own so many clothes, was a mystery to me.

I randomly grabbed a pair of jeans, a basic grey tee, vintage baseball jacket, a black beanie – Edward wearing a beanie…_ah_ – and his trapped-off Adidas Sambas, the same pair he'd had since he was nineteen or something.

On my way out, I also hastily grabbed a pair of boxers.

"Here," I said, laying the pile on a chair. "I'm in Auden's room." I turned on my heel, not waiting for his reaction.

For Auden, I picked comfortable leggings and a white tunic, pairing it with baby socks.

As I turned around, I saw Edward leaning in the door opening.

"Ah!" I brought out. "You surprised me."

"As you surprised me."

"What do you mean?"

"The outfit. I haven't worn a beanie in ages, same goes for my Adidas' and baseball jacket."

"Don't you like it?"

"I love it, Bella. I love you choosing my outfit. You should do it more often."

I blushed. "Well, you did mighty fine yourself, sir."

"Open for repetition?"

"You bet."

Edward spread out his arms for me, and I happily walked into his embrace. With his arm around my shoulder, he walked me back to our room.

We dressed swiftly and casually made our way to the grocery store.

The store wasn't that far away, the road to it was beautiful, and since we were in a happy mood, we decided to walk.

Edward had his arm around my shoulders again, as I was holding Auden.

"I've got a meeting with my agent, manager and PA tomorrow. Just so you know," he said on the way.

"Will it take all day?"

"No. I have to be there at 10:30, and it will take up around four hours, max."

I turned my head to his chest, inhaling his unique, intoxicating scent. I couldn't resist kissing him through his t-shirt

Then, I suddenly felt him turn rigid. "What?"

"Paparazzi. Don't look around much, shield off Auden."

"Relax, Edward. Please relax," I muttered, trying to sooth him.

"God dammit, why do these low-lives have to come and ruin my day. It was so perfect."

"Edward, I know they're frustrating, bet let's not worry about them, okay?"

He sighed.

We made it to the store without any harassment and being inside, just doing the ordinary groceries made Edward relax, finally.

We took our time working off our shopping list.

"Is it okay with you if Honor comes to dinner tomorrow?"

"I thought she had things to do in LA."

"She did. She's had her screening on LAFF, and will start doing promotion for _Inception_ in London next week. The time in between, she's here."

"Sure."

"She doesn't have to, I just thought it would be nice to invite her over."

I halted in the middle of an aisle, turning around to him. "Edward, you don't have to explain why you want your little sister to come have dinner. It's your house, too. Why are so afraid I don't want or agree with your ideas? Don't you trust me?"

"It's not about trust. You know that, Isabella. I trust you with all my life. I just don't want to put pressure on you. With just being with me, you have to endure so much pressure already. I don't want to add up only more."

"Edward, don't worry. Really, don't. Now, did you have an idea of what you wanted to make her?"

"Honor loves Italian, so we could go with that. And Ben & Jerry's ice-cream for dessert. She loves Ben & Jerry's."

"Alright then, that sounds delicious. I'll pick the ingredients for tonight's dinner, you okay with shopping for tomorrow?"

"Sure. You mind if I take Auden, though?"

"No, of course not."

I took off the canopy wherein Auden lay and helped Edward put on the cover sheet.

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes. She's laying alright?" he asked, his voice containing the bone deep protection he felt for Auden.

I peeked at my daughter, who seemed to be perfectly fine to me. "Yep. You're good to go."

"Thanks, baby," he said, swiftly planting a kiss on my lips before making his way to another aisle.

My, I loved him so. I had to shake my head a couple of times to get my mind back on track.

An elderly woman was staring at me, giving me a smile when I met her eye.

"You've got a sweet man," she said.

I shyly smiled at her.

She gave me a smile as she walked off.

Most people coming to this supermarket knew it was one of Edward Cullen's regular spots, and they knew they had an off chance bumping into him while doing groceries. They'd long gotten over the fact.

That didn't mean people didn't stare or whisper or secretively took pictures or made videos or squealed or dropped their jaws or popped their eyes.

Edward didn't seem to pay much attention to the other shoppers, but whenever he was confronted, he tried to behave as politely as possible.

If they behaved towards him, that was.

A bunch of paparazzi guys were waiting for us outside the store, making us hastily put on our sunglasses.

Edward drew me protectively into his side, covering up the opening in the canopy with his free hand.

Tuning out the flashes and shouts as best as we could, we walked home.

We didn't speak, as the paparazzi were swarming about us and we weren't in the mood to let them enjoy our private conversations.

Edward _did_ move his fingers over my shoulder from time to time, or I would press myself closer to him or he would ghost his lips over my hair.

We both breathed out in relief audibly as we'd closed the door of our house, back in our safe haven.

"How's Honor Rose doing?" I asked casually, as Edward and I were working on tonight's dinner.

Auden lay in her downstairs little playpen.

"She's doing better. I think, and with me my family, it's because of Alec. Honor isn't very talkative about their relationship, whatever it may be, but he really does have a positive effect on her. Kind of like the effect you have on me."

My cheeks flushed a deep pink at his words.

"Hon is busy working now. Yeah, I think she's out of her down-y time, for now."

"Can you put your finger on when she has such moods?"

"Honor is very sensitive, like me, too, meaning that whenever there are troubles or something in her life, she's more fragile and emotional. That's when there's a high possibility she will fall in a black hole. Sometimes, though, you laugh with her one day, to find her hauled up in her apartment with a tear-streaked face the next. It makes you feel helpless."

I leaned over the kitchen island to stroke his cheek. "You're an amazing brother, Edward. Honor knows that, and everything you've done for her means so much to her."

Edward looked down. "Honor Rose is just really my little sister, and she's been through so much in her short life, add up she's an actress…I just want her to be alright, you know?"

I smiled up at him. "Yes, I know what you mean."

He continued chopping vegetables as I stirred the pans.

"How was the film of hers you saw at the Los Angeles Film Festival, by the way?"

"It was real good. I sat there, watching, and I realized how good an actress Honor was, that that was my littlest sister. It was really bizarre."

For dinner, we settled on the couch, stealing kisses from one another in between bites.

* * *

One year ago, I'd found myself in almost the exact same situation as I was in now.

Be it I then graduated in my major, and at the moment in my minors, or additional courses.

For the third time in my life, I had to put on a very fashionable graduation gown and hat, but I took it for granted. I'd obtained my exams with honor, and that was all I cared about. All that mattered.

The auditorium of the Yale facility for additional courses was filled by family members and friends, and mine weren't hard to miss.

Edward's bronze hair shone out. He was sitting next to Renee, Charlie sandwiched in between her and Maya.

I waved at them awkwardly, Edward proudly beaming back.

Mr Caulfield had asked me for the valedictorian speech, and although I found it embarrassing and scary to speak for hundred of people I didn't know, I felt honored and had said yes.

"Each year, the school board is astonished of the many students who take on additional courses on top of their majors. Each year, we are proud of them who graduate in minors. So, please, give a big applause for the Yale minor graduates of this year," the President of Yale University announced.

In order of the alphabet, we walked to our seats in the front. I was fiddling with the fabric of my robe, nerves kicking up.

Mr Caulfield walked up the stage.

"Thank you for having gathered here today to show your support to your beloved ones. I'm sure it means a lot to them. This years valedictorian speech will be given by a student I'm very taken aback by. Not only has she got a great sense for writing and literature, she's also showed us she's very disciplined and focused. The past year hasn't been easy on her, and for a duration of time she was unable to attend classes. Nonetheless, she took her exams and gained straight As in honor. Isabella Swan, ladies and gentlemen."

I coughed. _All right, I can do this._ My cheeks flamed as I walked up the stage, clutching on my handwritten notes.

"I'm very honored to stand here. As Mr Caulfield said, this year wasn't easy for me. Although I couldn't attend class from time to time, I told myself I had to keep going. Education has always been very important to me, even more when realizing millions of children and young adults don't have a chance on education at all. But enough of the personal stuff right now. Today we stand in front of a new door to open. We've obtained our degrees, we've obtained our diplomas, we've obtained our exams in additional courses. We are ready to live the life we've been preparing for ever since elementary school. Life won't be easy. Life will be a bitch. Even if we think we rocked our job interviews, people will turn us down. But we will find our place. We will make mistakes, many mistakes, but we have to make them. We have to learn. Over the years, we've stuffed ourselves with knowledge. Now it's time to use that knowledge," I concluded my speech.

The applause was erupting, and I came to feel how Edward must feel whenever he stood in front of such a big audience. Awkwardly, I descended the steps back to my seat.

"Good speech," the guy next to me said.

"Thanks."

As we shuffled our way up the stage to get our diploma, the guy continued "You're engaged to Edward Cullen, right?"

"Yes."

"Sorry to interfere in your private life. My sister is a big fan of him, you see."

"No offense taken," I smiled at him.

"He's here today?"

"Yeah," I beamed, my smile turning into a sheepish grin.

"That's sweet of him."

"It is."

I had to concentrate now, as it was my turn to take the spot.

"Isabella Swan, congratulations with your degree in creative and fiction writing, music and art history," the President said, handing me my diploma.

"Thank you." And I made it off the stage as quickly as possible. I'd have enough time standing in the spotlight today.

As I made my way to the big conference room, people around me congratulated me and praised my speech, bringing my cheeks to flush.

A buzz started going around the graduates, but since I was a little distanced from the crowd, I couldn't see or hear where it was about.

Until, suddenly I saw him, and I knew.

Him, it was him. The buzz was about him.

Of course.

His unruly, copper hair shone out and with easy grace he moved through the throng of people, determined in his steps and his eyes set on me.

_Fuck._

I think I just combusted, and melted, and combusted again.

The emotions and feelings swimming in the green and gold of his eyes made me feel like a deer caught in headlights.

He was just a few steps away from me. Three more steps. Two. One. And…

He roughly cupped my face and smashed his lips against mine, pouring out his love and pride.

"Fuck, Isabella, I'm so fucking proud of you, so proud it makes me want to scream it at the top of my lungs," he chuckled, still breathless from the kiss.

Our foreheads touched, his hands still on my cheeks as I held onto his arms.

I smiled up at him shyly. "Thank you for being here today," I whispered.

"My baby was graduating in her additional courses today, giving the valedictorian speech. Hell no I would not miss out on that."

"Thank you."

"_Anything_, Bella, _anything_ for _you_." He leaned in to press a soft kiss on my lips. "I love you, Bella Swan."

"I love you, Edward Cullen."

Vaguely, I registered people were taking photos, but I couldn't care less.

I might be engaged to a world famous, breathtakingly beautiful multi-talented man, but that didn't stop me from living my life freely. Not anymore.

Because of Edward.

Edward made me feel stronger, braver, more secure and more myself.

In the fucked-up, hectic life of Edward Cullen, I'd found my place. The place I belonged, in Edward's arms, he who loved and cherished me.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Nothing. I just thought of how much you've helped and encouraged me being me."

"What you have done for me," he mumbled.

I stroke his cheek. "You've created quite the buzz here, Mr Cullen."

"Have I now?"

"As if you didn't notice."

"No, I'd my eyes set on something, or rather _someone_."

I cocked my head to the side.

"What?" he asked.

"Never mind. Let's get to my parents. They must be wondering what's keeping me so long."

"I think they suspect I've dragged you into a deserted room to make love to you. You shouldn't worry about them."

A heat crept over my cheeks, neck and the rest of my face.

"We could always still do that," he opted, hovering his lips over my flushed cheek.

"Edward."

"What?"

"You just don't know your boundaries, sometimes. I think the exhaustion has gone to your head," I said, walking off and continuing making my way to the hall.

Edward quickly caught up with me, taking my hand.

"No, that's not it. I'm just happy to see you, to have you in my sight and reach, and I'm proud of you. Can't I be ecstatic?"

"Yes, yes you can. It's nice seeing you so carefree."

"All the credits go to you, Miss Swan."

* * *

**NOTE: All my stories, including Dating Fame, will be re-written as soon as I've got enough free time or when the stories will be finished. Also, my author notes are written after beta'ing, so I might make mistakes in those.**

**Sorry for the long, long wait once again. I hope to have finished upcoming chapters sooner, chapter 21 being now in the process of editing. I found a few parts in this chapter rather hard to write, such as Edward's talk with his therapist, Edward telling his point of view to Bella and Bella's valedictorian speech. I hope I did good enough.**

**I know minors and additional courses aren't exactly the same, and minors are (often) completed before obtaining the degree in one's academic major. I don't hope to confuse anyone.**

**Play list**  
**~ The Cinematic Orchestra – Arrival of the Birds (intoxicating piece of instrumental music. can't stop listening)**  
**~ Bat For Lashes – Daniel (from her second record Two Suns, which is one of the best albums ever made. Daniel is one of my favourites)**  
**~I Blame Coco - Self Machine  
~ Warpaint – Undertow**  
**~ Lola Kite – Number One**  
**~ MakeBelieve - Home**


	21. Chapter 21

**DATING FAME**  
**chapter 21**

**disclaimer: I don't own anything, except the plot.**

**As always, thanks so much to my beta _With The What Now_. This story would be so boring to read without her.**

* * *

Today was Edward's birthday.

I'd woken up earlier to make him breakfast in bed and to make a start with his birthday cake.

Just in case my fiancé woke up, I'd written him a little note, knowing he would come down otherwise to come look for me and Auden.

While I was being busy in the kitchen, my daughter was keeping me company.

She was looking intensely at her own little hands as music was filling the room. I always loved to cook with music on.

Occasionally, I found myself humming along with the lyrics of my favorite bands and musicians. Auden didn't seem to mind and was following me with her eyes as I moved around the kitchen, chopping at the island or grabbing things out of the fridge.

My phone vibrated in my pj's pocket as I was about to get the bread out of the oven, and I hastily whipped off my hands on a cloth, before grabbing it.

It was a text. From my fiancé.

_The birthday boy is getting impatient. Don't take too long. Please. x. E_

His words made me giggle. Such a romantic.

Five minutes later, everything was set and put on a tray, ready to be presented and devoured.

I held my daughter in one arm as I walked up the stairs with our breakfast. She had leaned her head against my shoulder, fisting my top in her tiny hand.

God, she was the most amazing, beautiful, dashing, adorable little baby on earth. _My_ baby. My sweet, sweet daughter. My nudger. Half Edward, half me. So perfect.

As I'd gotten to the top of the stairs, I could hear the sound of a guitar coming from our room and….fuck me now…Edward's soft voice singing quietly.

Automatically, I held my breath, as not to disturb him on any way. Everything to not make him stop what he was doing.

Shyly, an effect his singing had on me, I pushed the door open from a crack to its entire reach of width.

His eyes shot up immediately, a pink flush coming to his cheeks. As his Emerald green with a speck of gold found my chocolate brown, his mouth split up in a dazzling, blinding smile, turning me in a bundle of jelly fish.

"Happy birthday," I said sweetly.

He made a move to stand up and come to me, but I motioned him to stay where he was with my hand. "Go sit on the bed. Let me spoil you."

"As much as I like you spoiling me, you've pampered me too much already these past few days," he said as he put down his guitar and went to sit on the bed as I'd told him to do.

"It's your birthday, Edward. And besides, you deserve to be pampered. You've worked your ass off, have been a great fiancé to me and a fantastic father to our little angel. You haven't let anyone down. Don't you worry about me. I love to spoil you."

I gave him Auden so I could put down the tray in between us, in the middle of the bed.

As we'd settled, I leaned over to give him a birthday kiss.

"I was never too fond of my birthday, but ever since you've come into my life, I can't wait for it to be the 20th of June," he said against my lips.

"I can say the same about you," I whispered, stroking a lock of bronze copper hair out of his face. "Your text was sweet."

"Sweet?"

"Yes, sweet. You added 'please'."

"I did."

"That was very considerate of you."

He shrugged his shoulders, his lips turning into a shy smile, gazing up at me, holding my eyes with his own.

After an eternity was passed being locked in each other's eyes, Edward broke the spell and looked aside, noticing the tray with drinks and food. "Woman! You've outdone yourself, again. This all too delicious for words."

"You haven't even tasted it," I commented, sliding down the headboard so I could lay on my back, having the opportunity to look up at him and ogle him from a lower point of view.

"I just know it, Isabella," he whispered, kissing me just below my ear before retreating to his previous sitting position, and lunged into the food.

As we were halfway through breakfast, he noticed the thick envelope I'd added to the tray.

"That's our birthday card for you," I explained, as I noticed him staring.

"_Our_?"

"Auden and me."

"Auden, too?"

"It's her daddy's birthday. Of course she contributes something."

He gave me a shy, happy smile.

Edward carefully opened the envelope, taking out a card, piece of paper and little booklet.

On the card I'd written a personal birthday message, alongside a scribble from Auden(I'd held her hand while we wrote her name together).

"Are this…are this the prints of Auden's feet and hands?" he asked, staring at the little hands and feet pressed on the paper in paint.

I nodded.

"Wow…I will enlist them."

He carefully laid down the paper, taking the booklet.

"It's a little photo book. Jess and Ang helped me compose it."

Slowly, intensely looking at one by one, Edward turned over the pages.

I'd put together my favorite photos of Auden, saving the last two pages for pictures of Edward and I.

"Do…do you like it?" I asked reservedly.

Edward tore his eyes off the photos, boring his beautiful eyes into mine, eyes filled with adoration and love and lust and happiness.

"Bella," he whispered. "Oh, Bella," he murmured, shoving aside the tray and cradling me in his arms. "Bella, it's so beautiful and thoughtful. No words are good enough. You just knocked my breath away."

"It was just a little something. I'd wanted to make a photo book of Auden anyway, and I thought it might be a good start of the day."

"Isabella, love, this booklet, the print of Auden's little feet and hands, the photo book…they are not just a little _something_ to me. They're _everything_. God, I love you so much," he uttered, tightening his hold on me.

I moved my hands over his scalp, feeling the moist of his tears on my cheek. "I love you, too," I whispered in his ear.

"I'm sorry for being such an asshole to you this year," I heard Edward say, the sound of his voice muffled by my hair.

"Edward, what are you talking about?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. I love you. You love me. You make me happy, happy on a level nobody and nothing can. You complete me and I need you. The last year, we've had a tough time once, but over all you've been so, so good for me, baby. The birth…you helped me through it. And the past months, you've been…Edward, you're the most amazing, caring, sweet, funny and loveable man. Don't think so bad of yourself, especially not on your birthday, okay?"

"Okay."

I cupped his cheek with my hand and turned his face to me, placing a swift kiss on his marvelous lips.

"Now, what do you want for today?" I said, sitting back against the pillows and nibbling at a sandwich.

"Well, Alice said she arranged a little birthday party at the penthouse, which means she will drag me at my hair if I don't show up."

"But the party doesn't begin until five, right? Lots of time before that. _What do you want to do_?" I asked again.

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know."

"It's your birthday only once a year."

"I know," he said, giving me his you-don't-have-to-point-it-out-for-me look. "Well, I'd wanted to go to this music store downtown any day soon. And there is said to be this really cool exhibition at the Guggenheim."

"Sounds like mister birthday boy has made up a plan for the day."

He rolled his eyes at me.

"When do you want to get your presents?"

His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree on the mention of presents. "You've got me presents?"

"Of course I've got you presents. Isn't that the whole point of birthdays?"

"Well…uhm…what about now?" he proposed.

"Now?"

"Yeah?"

"You really are impatient sometimes."

"I warned you."

"I hope our daughter learns to have more patience than her parents."

"Honey, I think that's a lost cause."

I looked down at my daughter, who was laying on her back, taking in everything around her with mesmerizing eyes. My lips unconsciously pulled up in a smile.

"So, when do I get my presents?"

"Well, they're in my office, so…"

"Alrighty," he rushed out, jumping off the bed and through the door in a nano-second.

In a less faster pace, I made my way to my office, Auden cradled in my arms.

Edward was already impatiently waiting on the couch.

"Where are they?"

I chuckled. "If you're being that impatient, you won't get any."

He stood up, slowly approaching me. "Isabella, my sweet and beloved Bella, I love you. You give me the world by just breathing, so presents are always surprising and exciting. Add up I'm quite the impatient person, especially around you. So, please, help me. Please."

"Uhhh," I stammered.

He smiled at me sweetly, leaning in to softly press his lips against mine.

As usual, I got a little carried away as his lips, his god perfect and amazing lips, touched mine, and in a frenzy I locked my free arm around his neck, pulling onto his hair.

He pulled away first, looking into my eyes with lust and desire filled eyes.

_Oh, just give him his presents already._

I cleared my throat and took the package containing his first presents in my arm from its place against the wall.

"Here," I said shyly, handing it to Edward.

"Wow, it's huge. And heavy," he commented as he took it over.

I smiled.

Edward swiftly tore off the wrapping paper, holding the first list on arms length, so he could have a better look.

The package contained three enlarged photos of us; one taken by Honor at the Vanity Fair Academy Awards after-party, one of Edward and me with a just-born Auden in our arms, and one of our happy little family in London.

"Bella, this is…they're beautiful. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to. I'm glad you like them."

"I more than like them. Thank you, baby." He set down the three photo lists against the closest wall and took me in a hug.

"Uhm…I've got you something else."

"More?"

I nodded.

"Okay."

I looked up at him to see his eyes glistering of excitement and curiosity.

Out of my purse, I took the first-edition of my collected works and handed it to Edward, who looked at me in surprise.

"Open it," I encouraged him.

"What is this…?" he mused. His eyes widened as he read the name on the cover. "Did you…did _you_ write this?"

"Yes."

"When? Why didn't you tell me you would get published?"

"I finished this just after Auden's birth. Angela helped me find an editor and publisher. By some miracle, they have managed to have it ready for publication in three months. I didn't tell you because I simply wanted to surprise you. This…this is a special made edition, the very first book that got printed. It's for you. It won't get published for another three months, but I got them to print one copy already. I wanted to give you the first copy anyway, and your birthday seemed like the perfect moment."

"You certainly know how to knock my breath away, and ability of speaking," Edward whispered, staring at the book in surprise and awe.

"Read the dedication page, out loud," I ordered him softly.

He flipped through the book, stopping at the page I meant.

He gasped when his eyes took in the dedication. "_'To Edward. My fiancé, my love, my support, my life and father of my daughter. My inspiration.'_ Jesus, Bella, this gift is incredible."

I blushed. "You haven't even read it. It may not be any good."

"So?"

"Well, you know, I'd rather hear you say it's good when you mean it."

"I do mean it."

"I know, but I mean after you've read it. Then you'll know if it's really any good."

He silenced me with a hot kiss, plunging his tongue in my mouth.

"God, Isabella, I love you. I think this is my best birthday ever," he said breathlessly as we'd pulled away.

"Why, thank you," I replied, still catching my breath, too.

"And all because of you, and Auden, too."

We spent the day strolling around downtown New York City, music shopping at Edward's favorite store and visiting the Guggenheim, taking loads and loads of photos.

As five o'clock neared, we made our way to the Cullen penthouse looking over Central Park.

"Alice better kept it light," Edward mocked as we rode the elevator.

"Honey, Alice doesn't do light. When she does something, it's one hundred percent, full on. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think it will be a low-key party tonight."

"Jesus, why can't that woman keep herself back sometimes and just listen to the person she throws a party for?"

"But then again, she seems to perfectly know what you actually want."

"I hate to admit, but you're right."

As soon as the doors of the elevator opened, we were met by a deafening round of cheering and Happy Birthday's.

Esme was the first to greet my birthday boy. "Happy birthday, sweetheart," she said warmly, reaching up to lock her arms around Edward's neck.

"Thanks Mum."

"Oh, my little boy, twenty-five today. Where did the time go?"

"Mum, no need to go all melodramatic now."

"Of course I do! I'm your mother, honey. That's what I do. For me, you'll always stay a little boy, my littlest boy."

"Nice, very nice. I'm honored."

"Ah, give your mother some credit, Edward," Carlisle chuckled, appearing at his wife's side to congratulate his youngest son. "Happy birthday, son," he said, taking Edward in a hug, clapping him on the back.

* * *

"Ah, Isabella, nice to see you again, girl," Eleazar greeted me as I entered the music venue, standing at the entrance to welcome attendees personally while taking a smoke-break.

"Same here," I smiled, patting him on the arm.

"Speak to you after the show?"

"You can count on that."

"Who did you bring along?" he questioned, seeing I'd brought a guest.

"Oh, this is my younger sister Maya."

"Ah, little Honor's best friend, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Maya answered shyly.

"I'm Eleazar, Edward's best friend. Enjoy the show. It will be the second time ever we play new songs of our upcoming album."

"I read all about it. The media ate up the gig you did in London," Maya said.

He grinned wickedly.

"You deserve it. The songs are just really damn good," I joined in.

"Thanks, Bella."

"See you later," I greeted, and Maya and I ducked inside.

"Does Eleazar have a crush on you?" my sister asked me as we walked through the corridor onward to the entrance of the venue.

"_Eleazar_? On _me_? No, he's just very straight forward."

"Ah." Maya didn't sound convinced, though.

"Maya, were does this come from?"

"I was just wondering."

"Right."

After we'd handed in our coats, Honor came walking up to us.

"Hi! How cool of you to come! I'm so excited!" she beamed, taking us both in a hug.

"Hey Honor," I greeted.

"Edward is in the back. I'm sure he will be delighted to see you."

Although Honor Rose didn't have a very heavy British accent, it was when she said such typical British words as 'delighted' that you could very much hear she had grown up with the accent.

"Back-stage? Don't I need a pass for that?"

"Follow me," Honor Rose said, pulling Maya along with her hand.

I followed the girls through the audience. There were so many people already.

A man was standing in front of the backstage door.

"Miss Honor Rose Sophia Cullen, what can I do for you now?" he bellowed in a heavy voice.

Honor rolled her eyes at him. "We want to go back-stage."

"Oh really?"

"Logan, c'mon! I've got Edward's fiancée here, too."

Logan's eyes turned to me, taking me up.

"Just to warn you, Logan, Edward doesn't like it when men check up on his fiancée. Now, will you let us through?"

"Just her. You've had your time already, Honor Rose."

"I know, I know. Whatever, Maya and I will get the drinks. You can go in, Bella."

I mouthed a 'thank you' and stepped through the door held open by Logan.

The door opened in a narrow corridor, which led to another one, but which was lighted up.

On the wall I saw a piece of paper saying Vampire Heart with a bow to the left. As I walked on, the sound of voices became louder.

I knocked on the door of the dressing room that was said to be theirs.

"Yeah?"

Shyly, I opened the door.

The four of them were sitting around the room, jamming with their guitars, keyboards and drum kits.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," Edward smiled, putting his guitar against the wall so he could stand up and walk up to me. As he'd come close enough, he took me in his arms.

"I hope I'm not interrupting or disturbing anything."

"Of course not. Never."

"So, how're you guys doing?"

"A little anxious. Curious to what the audience will think of the new songs."

"Oh, they will most definitely eat you up. The music, I mean."

Edward smiled. "Where will you be?"

"I don't know. I will be with May and Honor, I think."

"Okay," he said in my hair, hugging me tighter.

For a moment, we stood motionless, gripping onto one another.

"Alright," Edward said, pulling away. "I can do this."

I smiled sweetly, stroking his marvelous jaw. "I'll let you guys alone for now. Rock and rule, misters."

"Thanks Bella. See you later," the guys said.

Edward walked me to the door, quickly stealing a last kiss before I left them alone.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too. And I'm so, so proud of you."

* * *

After the support, consisting of the youngest sisters of each band member – Benjamin's sister Mya, Eleazar's littlest sister Carys, Stefan's sister Sasha and Honor Rose – were done, the stage was hastily changed for Vampire Heart, while a DJ entertained the crowd with music.

As it turned down, it was the clue Vampire Heart's gig would begin.

A screen showed a sort of music video showing footage featuring London in high speed, the band and friends occasionally coming in view, as a mixtape of old Vampire Heart records was played.

As the four of them finally took the stage, the cheering and applause were truly deafening.

The guys smiled sheepishly and took their places, putting down their drinks and towels.

"Thank you all for being here tonight. As you may know, our new album will come out in two months. Our family and friends, and hometown London have been big inspirations to us. So, as a homage…the first song of the record, London Love," Eleazar announced their first song.

Although I'd been at their gig in London, where they basically played the same songs, they still knew how to totally sweep me up and away with their fantastic and beautiful music every time again.

After playing three more songs, it was Edward who introduced the next one. "You guys are utterly terrific. I…uhm…the next song is about a very important person in my life, she's always been highly inspirational to me, something I'm hugely grate- and thankful for. This song is for my fiancée Isabella, and for our daughter Auden, too. I love you both very much."

His little introduction made the audience aw, and I felt my cheeks turn a deep and warm pink.

Next to me, Maya pulled me closer with her arm, awing in my ear. "That was so sweet. Have you heard the song before?"

"No, I haven't. They didn't play this in London."

The song started off with Edward softly plunging on an acoustic guitar, while Stefan had taken over the keys.

It was after some twenty-something seconds, Edward's heartbreaking voice filled the venue, singing most sweetly and softly.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as he continued to sing, but I couldn't care. This man, this too good and caring and sweet for words man, had written a song for me. Again.

It was almost too good to be true.

They ended the gig with a cover of Snow Patrol's Perfect Little Secret.

It was my final undoing.

_In the blinding darkness  
of the night it seems simple  
all I know is that I love you  
here right now_

_It's not as if I wanted  
to fall so hard for you  
or even understand  
this woken feelings_

_I love you my own way  
I love you better  
I love you inside all this  
I love you forever_

_All these words are useless  
when I look into your eyes  
it's the simple truth of perfect  
little secret_

_You're the only thing I'm sure of  
and it makes it all so hard  
all the other things are broken  
out of focus_

"Thank you all for coming here tonight. You have been a truly amazing audience. Take care."

I wanted them to have some air, to come to rest and fresh up. I granted them that. I truly did.

But if I didn't find it nearly impossible to hold myself back, to not run through the crowd, enter the back-stage area and kiss my fiancé senseless.

I vaguely registered the venue was emptying, that Maya and Honor were talking about me.

It was when I heard people in the foyer squealing and cheering that my body started to move on its own. My feet took me along, as if a huge magnet in Edward's body pulled me to him, as if whatever I would try, the pull would always be stronger.

Before I really knew and registered what was happening, I'd made my way through the crowd, occasionally using my elbows, and was now standing right in front of the man dominating my thoughts, _inhabiting_ my thoughts.

People behind me pushed against me, called me names for not waiting for my turn.

I didn't care.

I simply reached up and pulled him down with my arms so I could kiss him.

My musician man. My fiancé. My love. My life. My Edward.

* * *

After having followed the directions I'd been given, leaving LA county for Ventura County, I finally arrived at the set of Edward's current filming project near the town of Fillmore.

As I walked up to the set, Auden was making little sounds as I carried her in my arms.

Luckily, Edward's agent Dusty had arranged for me to have a pass so I could enter without difficulty.

Some sort of assistant greeted me and I showed her my pass.

"Visiting?"

"Yeah, my fiancé."

"Oh, what does he do?"

"He's an actor."

"What's his role?"

"He plays the lead."

Gone was the casual tone.

The girl's jaw dropped. "You're…you're _Edward Cullen's fiancée_?"

"Yes."

"OMG! You're one hell of a lucky lady!"

Yes, I am.

"I know," I smiled.

"This way. Edward's busy shooting at the moment. They will be ready in a minute or fifteen."

She led me along the several trailers. "Hair, make-up, wardrobe, star trailers," she pointed out. "This one's Edward's," she smiled at me.

I smiled, too.

"Look Auden, that's Daddy's trailer," I showed my daughter, pulling her up and turning her body so she could see the trailer.

The girl's eyes widened at the sight of Edward Cullen's daughter. "Oh my God, she is like an angel. She's so beautiful."

"Thank you."

"She's got his hair for sure, and facial features. Your nose and lips, though," she mused.

I didn't know how to respond, so I kept silent.

Just before the silence grew really awkward, the assistant snapped out of it and continued leading me to the set.

"They're filming in the field, so you can wait here. You've met his co-stars?"

"No, not yet."

"They're really nice."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure. See you."

"Yeah."

It didn't take long for a beautiful, short blonde woman came walking up to me.

I recognized her from films I'd seen and I knew she'd won an Oscar four years ago.

She was Edward's co-star, playing the woman his character fell in love with.

Although I still found it a little difficult that Edward had romantic scenes with god-gorgeous women, the fact his current love-interest was happily married with a hunk of a man and two adorable kids put me slightly on ease.

"Hey," she greeted warmly, taking me in a hug. "You must be Isabella Swan-soon-to-be-Cullen."

"Just Bella. Did _he_ address me like that?"

"Edward? Yeah. I don't know if I'm supposed to tell, but he can't shut up about you and the two of you getting married this summer. He's so proud of you, very possessive and protective, too."

"That sounds like him, yes."

"Oh God, sorry! I haven't even introduced myself, yet!" she exclaimed. "I'm Nora Reese."

"I know."

She blushed.

"I've seen a few of your films. You really deserved the Oscar, and I loved your speech."

"Ah, thank you. I'd written some sort of speech, but when you're really up there…it's all gone. It's all improvisation."

"It was good, though."

"Thanks," she smiled.

Auden yawned, her perfect mouth opening widely.

"Hey," I cooed, stroking her cheek. "Are you tired, honey?"

"Oh, is that Auden? Can I see her?"

"Of course." I turned Auden around in my arms so she was facing Nora.

"Wow. Edward really didn't exaggerate describing her as angel. She's gorgeous."

"You've got two adorable and beautiful children yourself."

She softened up immediately. "Yeah. I do."

"Alma and Dylan, right?"

"Yes. They're ten and six now."

I was startled by a loud blaring of a horn.

"Lunch-time," Nora explained. "That means the boys will wrap up for now. Edward will be done quickly."

"Thanks."

"Nice finally meeting you, Bella."

"Same here, Nora."

"See you around," she said, waving as she walked off to the big tent, which held the cafeteria.

Edward had come a lot closer now, earning me a much better look of him.

And _fucking_ _hell_! He looked hot. Smoking, smoldering hot.

So hot it made me feel like I was about to combust and explode at once, just of the sight of him, the longing for him.

I wouldn't be surprised if I was drooling, my mouth probably open, too.

This was just too much.

You'd think I might have gotten used to the exceptional, bold beauty of Edward, but that clearly wasn't the case.

Every day his beautiful face and marvelous body slapped me in my face again.

Came by, I'd never seen him so flushed by the sun and in such clothes.

Yes, I'd seen photos, but jeez...they didn't do him justice at all, not even close!

His normally so unnaturally pale skin was now tanned, giving his cheeks a slight flush; his copper bronze hair shone heavily in the sun rays.

Add his gracious way of moving around, prefect face and possibility to pull off every damn piece of clothing put on his body…and you have an awe-inspiring, mouthwatering, speechless-making god creature in the name of Edward Cullen.

And just then he looked up, his eyes widening slightly in surprise as he noticed me. A second later, his mouth split up in a blinding smile, _my_ smile. The crooked smile I'd come to love so much.

Edward said something to a man next to him, motioning to me.

The man nodded and said something sounding like "Go. We'll catch up later."

Edward patted him on the back and strode over to me.

I bit my lip to prevent falling in a crazy fit of laughter of excitement, longing, love, adoration, pride, happiness and bliss.

I was about to open my mouth and welcome him with a soft "Hi", as Edward clearly had other ideas, grabbing my face and pulling me up for a heated, passionate kiss.

Our lips and tongues devoured each other, after having to miss out on the others for over two weeks.

"Bella…Bella…Bella," Edward muttered against my lips.

"Hmmm?"

"God, I love you so fucking much."

I didn't really comprehend what he was saying. I was otherwise busy, and besides I was high. High on Edward. High on Edward's scent and presence. Those facts didn't exactly add up to my intellectual powers. "Hmmm?"

Edward pulled away suddenly, putting me back on my feet. Luckily, he kept his hands on my face.

"Hey," I whined, pulling myself back up to him. "I haven't had enough, yet."

He chuckled, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against mine. "Oh, Bella, you'll be the death of me one day. Don't worry, we will have plenty of time later. How long are you staying?"

"Nine days," I mocked stubbornly, still pissed on him for leaving me hanging.

He nodded, turning his eyes to Auden, and extended his arms to take her.

I handed her over.

"Hello, my little darling," he greeted her, kissing her temple. With his free hand, he grabbed mine. "You're hungry?"

"A little bit," I shrugged.

"Well, I am. I am fucking _starving_."

The desperation in which he said the words made me giggle.

"God, I love you giggling. It's the happiest sound in my universe, apart from each little babbling sound Auden makes."

I blushed.

And if Edward didn't show me off. To each and every living creature we came across, he proudly introduced Auden and me.

"Edward," I hissed, growing uncomfortable.

"Hmmm?"

"Stop it."

"Hmmm?"

"Edward, I'm serious!"

"I was serious, too."

"When?"

"When you were 'hmmm-ing' at me."

"I was high, and busy otherwise."

"High? You've taken drugs?" he gasped.

"No!" God, I couldn't believe he was making me say this out loud. "I was high on you."

"High on me, huh?"

Smug bastard.

"You've got such a big and fragile ego."

"Ouch."

"You still love me God fucking much?"

His eyes widened.

"I did hear you say it, sort of."

"Yes, I still love you so fucking much, God," he chuckled.

"Good."

"And I'll stop making you feel uncomfortable. Forgive me, please?"

"That would be a little difficult, if there's nothing to forgive."

As he leaded me to a table, he said "Is it okay if I show you around Fillmore for the afternoon?"

"You don't have scenes?"

"Nope. Due to my 'hard' working and devotion, they granted me a half day off."

"That's really nice of them."

"It is. I do have to begin at five in the morning tomorrow, though."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm just a little worried about you. You work so hard, such long hours, on this film. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's just that…I don't want you to over-work yourself, you know. I know you often have the tendency to do so."

"You little worrier," Edward chuckled, cupping my cheek, leaning over the table. "Yes, I make long hours, and yes sometimes I'm dead tired, but God…working on this film is so exciting and energy-boosting. It's full of life, literally and figuratively. Don't worry about me, Bella."

"Okay."

"How did you get here, actually?"

"I borrowed Maya's car. You?"

"I was driven up here."

"You spoiled bastard."

"You're on a roll, huh? Trying to break my ego? Is it hurt-Edward's-ego day today, or something? Have I missed something?"

I burst out in laughter.

"Seriously woman."

That only made me laugh harder.

People turned to look at us.

"Everyone's watching, Isabella."

I stopped in mid-laughter, glancing across the tent.

Fuck. Just my luck.

My cheeks flushed a deep pink.

I heard Edward chuckle from across me.

Embarrassed, I ducked my head, hiding in my arms.

Although he continued to chuckle, Edward moved his hand to my hair. "Oh, by the way, before I will show you around Fillmore, I would like to introduce you to a very dear friend of mine."

Who would that be? "Okay."

"You don't have some secret I-don't-know-of phobia for elephants, do you?"

Alright? Where was he heading to? "Uhm, no."

"Good."

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because the dear friend is an elephant."

"An elephant," I swallowed.

"Yes."

"Oh….okay."

Edward's face fell a little at my response.

"Honey, it's not that I don't want to, to meet her. It's just…elephants are so big, and we got Auden…and…" I rushed out hastily, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

God, hear me all going boneless and scared shitless over meeting an elephant.

"Baby, don't feel embarrassed. Honor went all scared shitless, too, when I took her to meet Tai. Instead of being a rather childish twenty-year-old, she was fifteen-year-old Honor at the BAFTAs all over again, sweating and drawing back. _But,_ she melted the moment she laid her hand on Tai's flank."

As Edward walked us towards Tai's stationary, my nerves shot up my throat.

"Isabella, really, don't worry. She won't hurt you."

"How do you know?"

"Because I do."

"Not good enough."

"Bella, I know Tai. She knows me. Besides, her trainer will be there as well."

I nodded.

Luckily, Edward was holding Auden, so I wouldn't be able to accidentally drop or hurt her, considering my very sweaty hands.

And there she was. Tai.

My. She was _huge_. Enormous. Gigantic.

She recognized Edward immediately, lifting up her trunk to greet him.

Edward brought up my hand to his lips, kissing each knuckle, before he let go of it, moving towards her.

I felt even smaller and weaker without him by my side and I threw my arms around myself.

"Hey Tai," he smiled, stroking her tough skin. "I would like you to meet my two angels." He drawled me back into his side. "Tai, this is my fiancée, Isabella, but she prefers to be called Bella, and this is my little angel Auden, our daughter."

Auden looked up at the giant elephant with wide-spread eyes, and surprised us all by moving her little hand towards Tai.

At the age of three _months_, my daughter was already braver than me at twenty-three _years_.

Despite Edward and I were beaming with pride and astonishment and even more adoration than before, he did move closer so he could protect our daughter against any sudden movements.

As I realized that Tai wouldn't hurt even a fly if treated with kindness, I shuffled closer, hesitatingly laying my hand next to Edward and Auden's.

Edward looked down at me, his face lit up in a proud and happy smile.

Contently, I lay my head on his shoulder.

* * *

As Edward led me around Fillmore, it was as if he was glowing literally, with excitement and happiness and bliss.

After having wandered around the historic centre for a little while and having taken the time for lots of photos, we parked ourselves at a bench looking over the old – still in use – railroads, and I snuggled up against my fiancé.

"I'm really happy you've come, Bella."

"Me, too."

"Next year, I'm going to take a break. Seriously, why didn't you stop me from working my ass off while you were being pregnant, while having just welcomed our daughter, while we are about to get married?"

"Edward, you are a smart person. You've got a great team supporting you. You know what's good for you. You know when you go too far. You have to make the decisions that are best for _you_."

"That's the thing with you. You're so unselfish, Bella. Speak up for yourself. If you're not happy, I'm not happy."

"I know that, Edward. I might be unselfish, but you're just as good at it as me. I'm happy. You're an actor, you're away for filming sometimes. That's what you do. It's something I've had to learn to live with, and I have. I know I'll have plenty of time left with you. Really, don't spend your free time worrying about me. You need your rest."

Edward shook his head, rolling his eyes. "You crazy."

I shrugged my shoulders, simply snuggling deeper into his chest, and enjoyed the peaceful quality time I got to spend with my little family.

* * *

**EPOV**

Today I would have some good father-daughter bonding with my daughter.

I had a lunch appointment with my mother and sisters before I would take Auden with me to my favorite music store on Sunset and maybe I would even take her to the beach.

As paparazzi were waiting outside our hotel, I hastily sped away in my car to lunch.

"Hello darling," my mother greeted me as I walked into the little café, opening her arms for me.

Alice was sitting next to her.

"Hey Mum," I greeted back, hugging her with one arm.

"And hello granddaughter of mine," Esme cooed to my daughter. "Gosh, I'm too young to be a grandmother."

Alice and I chuckled.

"So, where's Honor Rose?" I asked as I settled in the booth, putting down the carrier next to me so I could put Auden in it.

"What do you think?" Alice sighed.

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."

"She's late. She's just as bad as you are, or were."

"What do you want? I've got a publicist who's quite the driller."

"Yeah, she's good for you."

Just as our drinks had arrived, someone made a rather loud entrance.

Someone as in Honor Rose Sophia Cullen, my youngest sister who'd just turned twenty-one.

Twenty-one. Jesus. That meant she was a fully legal adult. Unbelievable.

"Sorry I'm late guys. I lost track of time," she said breathlessly, sliding in the booth and shoving her Clubmasters in her unruly hair, giving us all a smile.

"Honor, how on earth can you loose track of time when there's a watch right there on your left wrist?" Alice asked.

"'Cos I put it on after I showered. That's why." Honor stood up gracefully and strode over to the counter to put her order.

"She crazy," Alice shook her head.

I chuckled.

"She's just very impulsive and intense, that's all," our mother commented.

As Honor was leaning against the counter, wearing a band shirt, her long and lean bare legs coming from under her cut-off denim shorts and ending in worn off Converse, wrists covered with straps and bracelets, fingers graced with rings, nails painted in British flags, she was quite the catch for the male behind the counter.

A fact I tried to tune out as best as possible. I wasn't in the mood to check upon guys who tried to make a move on my sister.

"You think she was with someone this morning? I heard she left set with Alec yesterday," Esme whispered.

"Maybe."

Just then, Honor returned. "Done talking about me?"

"So, Edward, as you guys have put me in charge of the wedding…" Alice started.

I gave her a look.

"Sort of," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "I did some research," she continued, taking out a file in her designer Burberry purse.

Her choice of words made me roll my eyes. Only my sister could make a project of every normal day life event. Although a wedding was anything but ordinary, it still was weird hearing Alice having done _research_ for my wedding.

"What do you think?" she beamed, looking at me expectantly.

"Of what?"

"Edward! I know you don't really give a damn about the whole setting , as long as Bella's happy and it's low-key, but I can't accept that. Just take a fucking look and share your opinion. I'm doing this for the two of you, and what do I get in return? You treat me like garbage!"

"Alice, you took on this job yourself. You didn't have to do anything. And I don't treat you like garbage, well, not that much at least, but you're my sister, Alice. That's what I do!"

Alice huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, resting them on her growing belly.

I rolled my eyes at her, turning my attention to the stack of plans.

Alice had made several collages of ideas, having tried out several styles.

"How many people are coming?"

"We're thinking around sixty, something small," my mother answered.

Bella and I had written down the people we'd wanted to come, and my mum and sister took care of the rest.

"Good. And I like that idea, with the roses and bows, keeping it light blue. It will match perfectly with the colors of the yard," I said, pointing at one of the collages

"I told you he's got a sense for style," Honor said.

"I know," Alice said, as if she wasn't very eager to admit the fact.

"I've got my bridesmaid dress, by the way," Honor then beamed. "Here's a pic." She shoved her phone in my face.

"Didn't you wear that before?"

"Yeah, but I've always loved it and it matches perfectly with Bella's dress, so…"

"Bella's wearing blue?"

"Edward, that's not blue! It's a grey-brownish white! And here I thought you had style," Honor Rose bellowed, throwing up her arms in the air.

"No, silly," Alice answered me. "You will have to wait and see."

"Where's the honeymoon to, actually? Have you discussed it?" my mother asked me.

"I told Bella I'll take care of it. We want to go somewhere peaceful, with raw nature, beaches, water…I'm thinking about New Zealand."

"New Zealand?"

"That's so cool!" Honor screamed at the top of her lungs, earning the attention of every living creature in a one mile radius. "I filmed there once."

She leaned over the table, extending her hand for me to high-five it.

"Honor, Jesus, how old are you again?" Alice groaned.

"I'm a twenty-year-old who's like a six-year-old mixed up with a eighty-year-old," she said full of determination, as if she had to answer that question more often.

She proofed her statement right as she surprised us all by jumping up from her seat. "I love this song! It's one of my favorites!" she squealed, clapping in her hands and softly humming along to the lyrics.

"It's Gypsy & The Cat right?"

"You know them?"

"Yeah."

"You're my man, brother dear. You're my man," she smiled happily, wiggling on her seat along with the music.

"I was thinking of stopping by my favorite music store at Amoeba. You wanna come?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"Guys, we came here to talk about the wedding. Not about music."

"Now you say, what's going to be the music for the wedding?" Honor asked.

Alice gave her the stink-eye for having turned the topic back to music, but Hon was indifferent, since it was about the wedding, too.

"I'm going to do a song with the band, and one on my own."

"You hopeless romantic."

"Not my fault. Look at Mum. She's the one who brought me up with romantic shit and all."

"Edward!" Esme scoffed, sounding offended.

"I'm thankful for it Mum, really. No need to feel insulted. You've done an amazing job raising me."

"Edward," Honor wailed. "The music?"

"Van Morrison would be good. But you guys can contribute something as well, give us a gift of your own."

"Oh, can I do a song as well?" Honor said excited.

"Sure. Ask the wedding planner."

She turned to Alice. "Alice, sister dear, can I sing Bat For…"

"Don't tell! Let's surprise our brother dear, okay?"

"Oh, okay. Whatever you say wedding planner."

"Bat For Lashes, huh?" I asked her.

"Yep. She's the coolest female vocalist."

We continued talking about this and that for the wedding, until Alice had to go to collect outfits for a photo-shoot for her brand – a shoot featuring Honor, among others.

We split up and I took Honor with me to Sunset Blvd.

As soon as we were inside, my sister rummaged through the glove department searching for a CD that she found worth listening to at the moment.

I groaned as I spotted a few paparazzi outside the parking lot, but I knew I shouldn't let them get to my head.

"So, how are you doing, Edward?" Honor asked, putting on a CD and waiting for it to start.

The cheerful, energy-boasting tunes of Vampire Weekend filled the car.

"They're one of my favorite bands," my sister said, as kind of an explanation.

"You don't have to explain, Honor. I've got their CD. That means I think their music worth of my money, which means I think them good."

"You don't have to explain, Edward," she retorted.

God, it was when I was talking to Honor that I realized how much a smart-ass I could by myself.

"Now, will you please answer the question?"

"I'm doing great. Bella and Auden came to visit me on set. I feel much more on ease and rested now they're here in LA. And how are you yourself?"

"I'm doing great, too. Excited for the LA premiere tomorrow."

"Yeah, how was the one in London?"

"Epic. I got to wear this gorgeous dress. The sphere was very nice. The press junkets were okay. And getting to spend time in London was great, too. I love that city."

"Tell me about it. I'm very curious to the film."

"You've made the final cut."

"What do you mean?"

"You, you're in the film. For thirty-eight seconds. I counted. And you're credited."

"Really? As what?"

"Well, you play this acquaintance of Cobb and Arthur, right?"

"Yeah."

"They say your name. So, your credited as Dayton."

"I didn't know I would be credited."

"Sure you didn't. Dusty and Zafrina knew."

Luckily, it wasn't such a busy day on the LA streets and we made it to the store rather quickly.

I enlarged my CD collection with six new CD's, also purchasing two for Bella.

My thought that eight CD's at once was quite a lot got shattered as Honor Rose came walking up to the counter with her basket filled with _twelve_ CD's.

"Honor, are you seriously going to buy them all?"

"Yes," she said, as if it was the most ordinary thing to do.

Well, she was twenty-one now after all. She should be perfectly capable of making her own decisions.

"Alright."

After I accompanied my sister to a newsagent, I dropped her off at a friend's condo.

"Are you going to tell me who the friend is?"

"No," she said stubbornly, looking out the window.

"And why not?"

"Because." Still not looking at me.

"It's Alec, isn't it?"

"Gee, why are you guys always presuming it's always Alec. I've got other friends."

"So you guys are friends again?"

"We work on a film together. And besides, we've always kept in touch."

I gave her a look.

That was not true.

"Why does it seriously matter?"

"Honor, we care about you. We want you to be okay. Hon, you love him. When you're in a relationship you fight, you have different opinions, but the love, true love, outstands everything else. Don't shut it out, let it in. I know you've hurt and let each other down, and it pains me how much the break-up affected you, but I know I can't protect you against all the bad in the world. Love is not bad, but it can hurt like nothing else. We're just curious, Hon. We like to know what you're up to. You don't have to keep things from us. If you and Alec are together again, then he's part of our family, too."

Honor nodded, wiping her tears away before she turned her body to me, looking me squarely in the eye. "Thank you, Edward." She leaned forward and threw her arms around me.

"I love you, Ed."

"I love you, too, Honor Rose."

Just before she closed the door after having stepped out, she whispered "It's him."

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Auden on the beach, carefully shielding her from the powerful rays of the sun.

As it was time for dinner, I knew Bella would return from her quality time with her sister anytime soon.

I sent her a text that I wanted to pick her up and take her out to this Japanese restaurant in Beverly Hills.

As I turned in the driveway of Maya's student house, I noticed her immediately.

My, she looked beautiful.

I stepped out and opened the door for her.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hey."

"I've missed you today."

"I missed you, too."

Before she ducked in, she went to stand on her tiptoes and gave me a sweet kiss.

She pulled away first, squeezing my cheek before she stepped in.

We had a delicious and amazing dinner, and although paparazzi had gathered outside snapping pictures and waiting for us to leave, I enjoyed the peaceful event.

Auden lay in her carrier, just fed by Bella, and soundly asleep. She was a very quiet baby. _Our_ quiet baby.

* * *

**BPOV**

"You're really sure you want to do this?" Edward asked me, as he grabbed his suit off the hotel bed.

"Yes."

"You don't have to."

"Edward, I know. But I want to go. I want to see the film. I want to go to the premiere. With you."

He smiled shyly.

"Do _you_ want to go?" I asked in return as I slipped on my heels.

"Yes."

"Me, too. So don't worry about me. Be yourself, okay?"

Edward nodded.

"You look beautiful tonight. You always do…" I flushed. "But tonight you look just… even more beautiful than you normally do." Without looking up in his eyes, I walked up to him, pulling myself up to the labels of his jacket so I could crush my lips to his.

This wasn't a savoring kiss. It was building, passionate, but not hastened.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips.

"Oh Bella, I love you, too," he whimpered, silencing me with yet another kiss.

The buzzing of both our phones pulled us out of our bubble.

As I turned away from him to grab my phone, he stopped me, hand on my arm. "Oh, and Bella, you look like a radiant, glowing angel tonight, more than you normally do."

"Thank you."

He gave me his crooked smile.

As Edward stepped out of the car, a flood of flashes hit my eyes.

My fiancé turned his back to the red carpet, giving me his hand.

I took one last breath before placing my hand in his, letting me pull out of the car.

As I stood upright, I had to squint my eyes against the flashy bright lights.

The deafening screams of the crowd and photographers made my ear tantrums trill, but it wasn't the first time I got to face such things.

Edward squeezed my hand, and I looked up to give him a smile to make clear I was okay and that he didn't need to worry.

Since Edward didn't have a role in the film itself – apart from a cameo – he didn't want to answer questions, saying this wasn't about him. It was about the cast and crew and film.

We only posed for a few pictures before Honor Rose's agent said we could go into the theatre.

Once in our seats, we were soon joined by Alice, Maya and Esme – who looked gorgeous in a floor-length black embroidered strapless gown.

We hadn't expected an acquaintance to come sit next us as a familiar voice halted our conversation.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I join you guys?"

Surprised, we looked up in the brownish grey eyes of Alec Volturi.

"Alec, darling, of course not," Esme said, the first of us to speak. "But don't you want to sit with Honor Rose?"

"That would be nice, too, but it was a last minute decision, so all the seats for the cast and crew were already given away. You don't mind, do you, that I sit here?"

"No, of course not."

"Thanks, Esme."

"Don't be ridiculous, Alec."

Alec took the seat next to Esme, which was the farthest away from Edward and me.

"Does my youngest daughter know you're here?"

"I told her I would come, but I haven't spoken to her yet."

"I'm sure she appreciates it very much you've come, Alec."

"I hope so."

I noticed Edward was intensely listening to each word Alec spoke, watching his movements.

Oh, he was such a protective big brother.

"Honey, film is gonna start. Don't mind him. Your mother and Alice are here, too. You know he's a good guy."

"Yeah, you're right. Let's watch the film," he said, turning his body and throwing an arm around my shoulders, drawing me in.

I shuffled as close to him as the seats allowed, taking his hand in mine.

Edward squeezed my shoulder as the film started, placing a lingering kiss on the side of my head.

Have I already said how much I love going to premieres with Edward?

Well, I do.

The excitement of getting to see a new film or a film starring someone you know or a film you've been on set of. Being able to sit next to Edward in the dark, getting to touch him. Getting to meet really cool and talented people. And just enjoying going to the cinemas in general.

* * *

The following morning, Edward and I were awoken by a loud banging on our door. At this godawful hour it could only be one person (or it had to be some scary stalker of some sort).

Alice.

Edward rolled onto his side, letting out a loud groan. "Ah, please, no."

"I'll go," I said.

I really wanted to stay in bed, but the banging was really not good for my ears.

We'd had little sleep, as Auden had been very restless, waking up a couple of times.

Just to be sure, I took a peek through the peephole.

All I could see was a pitch black spiky hair-do, but that was all I needed to know.

"Alice," I said, opening the door.

"At last," she grumbled.

Along with her purse, she carried two outfit bags and a carton tray with Starbucks coffee.

Not waiting for my response or invitation, she bristled inside, laying the bags on the dining table.

"Alice, what is all this?"

"Outfits. One for you, one for Edward, and one for Auden. Now, go get dressed. We only have thirty minutes to get ready."

"Get ready for what?" Edward asked, his face full of chagrin and annoyance.

"Edward!" Alice cried out, annoyed in return at the fact he was so oblivious. Not that I knew where she was talking about.

"What?"

"Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"Ah shit. They didn't tell you? We're going to a garden tea party in Beverly Hills? Sound familiar?"

"We?"

"Mum, Honor Rose, Bella, you, Auden and me."

"Do we have to?"

"Yes. Jesus, Edward, you modeled for the campaign."

"What campaign?"

"Burberry."

"It's a _Burberry_ tea party?"

"Yes. Now go get dressed. Quickly. No sexing you two."

Edward and I shared a look.

"I mean it."

Alice – someone, at least – had picked me a baby blue satin mini dress, belt and heels included.

"You look lovely," Edward said, his voice filled with love.

I'd just finished putting on my dress. "Thank you. Want to zip me up?"

"Always," he smiled.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I said, looking at him over my shoulder.

"Thank you. How's Auden's outfit?"

"Cute. It looks very good on her. I think she will follow in her father's steps and land a model job anytime soon."

"Done."

I turned around, throwing my arms around Edward's neck. "I love you."

"And I love you," he said, kissing me softly.

* * *

**Just some FAQ's:**  
**Snow Patrol song covered by Vampire Heart: Perfect Little Secret**  
**Gypsy & The Cat song playing in the lunch café: The Piper's Song**  
**Vampire Weekend song: Holiday**  
**Music store: Amoeba Music Store, Sunset Blvd., Hollywood**

**Play list**  
**snow patrol – open your eyes**  
**snow patrol – give me strength**  
**brandon flowers – crossfire**  
**adele**  
**gypsy & the cat – the piper's song**

**I've been to Fillmore myself, and my...it's such a idyllic historic centre. I love it. Amoeba is a great music store as well.**

**I got 2 reviews for the last chapter, and I know there way more people who read it. I'm often quite unsure about things I've written, so it's always nice to hear unbiased people give their opinion. **


	22. Mine, and Mine Only

**DATING FAME**_  
_**chapter 22: **_**Mine, and mine only**_

**So terribly sorry for the long wait. There have happened some shitty things the past weeks and this one was a killer to write. I wanted it to be perfect, not too much and also really them. I hope I sufficed.**

**Thank you to those who wrote such sweet and encouraging reviews. It means a lot to me. Thank you also to my awesome beta _With The What Now_. She helped me out big time with this one, with Alice's speech for instance.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**By the by, you should all go vote for Rob and Kristen's Best Kiss for the 2011 MTV Movie Awards! **

* * *

**_You're invited to the wedding of  
__Edward Anthony Cullen and Isabella "Bella" Marie Swan  
__on the 13__th __of August, 2010  
__in London, England_**

* * *

When I was little, having my I-want-to-be-a-princess-when-I-grow-up phase, I imagined my wedding to take place in a palace hall, wearing a puffed-up white gown with a veil twice my body height, and thousands of guests watching my every step.

As I rolled into adolescence, I found myself repulsed at the whole idea of marriage, as it hadn't done my parents any good. _Matrimony_ wasn't an essential part in life, and I certainly didn't need to have a wedding of my own. I could easily do without, thank you very much.

But then Edward walked into my life, throwing off all my previous, moody thoughts. Binding yourself to someone for the law didn't seem that bad anymore, or in _my_ case binding myself to _Edward_. My idea of the wedding was still vague – no specific location, no specific dress, no specific style, no specific amount of guests – except for one thing. The groom. In every picture of my wedding, the groom was the one thing that did not change, he was all I needed for the wedding, the rest I couldn't care much about. In my fantasies, I always said 'I do' to the very same person.

Edward. Edward Anthony Cullen.

The father of our daughter.

The daughter who was now four months old, dazzling everyone around her with her beautiful, mesmerizing chocolate brown eyes mixed with hints of emerald green.

As I was to marry her father today, her aunts had put her in a soft blue fairy-like dress, matching her ivory skin perfectly.

A smile appeared on my face as I looked at my little angel.

"Bella, honey, you ready?" Esme's voice cut through my inner-thoughts.

My head shot up. "Yeah." _As ready as I'll ever be._

"It will be one of the most beautiful days of your life, trust me on that," she said, as if she could read my thoughts. "No need to worry, especially not about your groom abandoning you at the altar. My, it looks like he's about to combust of excitement and impatience," she chuckled.

The mentioning of my fiancé – something he would be for just a little while longer – made me long want him only more. I hadn't seen him for almost a whole 24 hours and I missed him like crazy.

We'd parted ways yesterday morning, after which we both were pulled to our separate bachelor/baccalaureate parties. I'd spent the last night of my life as an unmarried woman at Robin's house – Edward's aunt had been so nice to lend my wedding party her house for the day – while Edward slept at the Cullen house in Barnes.

"Really?" Anything to keep her talking about Edward.

Esme nodded. "Absolutely. Edward has been waiting for this day for seven years."

Wow. _That_, I hadn't expected to hear. I mean, I've always been sure of my love for Edward and knew he was to stay, but having thought about marrying him since the moment I met him? No.

"He knew he wanted to marry me the second he met me?"

"Well, not exactly the same day, but yes…he realized quite soon you were the one. We Cullens, we've the tendency to fall hard and quick. To others, it may seem like we give decisions no second-thought or are impulsive, but we just know it when we know it. We don't feel restricted by money or time," she explained as she finished up my look.

"I know," I breathed out.

"It's his way of showing he cares, and that he loves you. He can't help it, it's how he was raised." Esme sounded as if she was apologizing.

"I don't blame anyone," I mumbled.

Esme gave me a thankful smile.

"Hey, err…I've been sent to say everyone has to take their places," Maya burst in, her reddish-brown curled hair waving behind her.

She and Honor both wore dresses from the same brand and collection, be it slightly different styles. My sister had completed her look with a headband and ballet flats.

"I will take Auden with me downstairs, so you can prep. My job is done here, anyway," Esme retorted.

I took my daughter in my arms, hugging her against my chest before I would hand her to her paternal grandmother. "Could you call for Renee?" I asked.

"Of course. We will give you some private time."

"Thanks, Esme."

As my soon-to-be mother-in-law was about to leave with my daughter, I looked into the eyes of my little girl once more. "Hey, sweetie. Momma loves you so, so much and is beyond happy you're here today to share this special moment with her, and Daddy," I cooed, placing a kiss on her forehead before I handed her to Esme.

Renee came in not much later after Esme'd left, Charlie following closely behind her.

"Look at you! My big girl, getting married today. You look beautiful, honey," my mother chirped, rushing to enclose me in a hug.

She took a step back to inspect some malfunctions that had to be fixed before I would go down the aisle, flattening my hair a little bit before she rummaged through her clutch to check if she had everything.

"You're mother is right, Bell. You look absolutely beautiful," my father added, if not a little awkwardly.

"Thanks, Dad," I flushed.

"Maya Grace Swan, get up! Don't you be so impudent," Renee scolded at my sister, who was sprawled head down across the bed, something she always used to do when she was younger and bored with a bed close-by.

"What?" she mocked.

"For Christ's sake, Maya, it's your sister's wedding today! Be a good support to her, and mind your look. We don't have time to adjust anything."

"Mom, I'm one of her bridesmaids, remember? That has to count for something, right?" Maya said, rolling her eyes.

"Five minutes!" Alice's voice called from the corridor.

_Oh, boy. This is really happening. I'm getting married._ I swallowed.

"You'll be fine," my mother reassured me, patting my hand.

"You've got everything?" Charlie asked, always down-to-earth. "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue?"

"Yep." My 'something old' was a bronze-goldish cuff decorated with flower ranks that had been in the Swan family for ages, 'something new' was a headband of soft sapphires I'd gotten from my parents, 'something borrowed' was an anklet Esme had loaned me and 'something blue' – besides the sapphire necklace – was the garter Edward would pull off with his teeth later on the day.

"Group hug!" Maya beamed.

Ever since she'd been little, Maya had insisted on a group hug every time we were together with the four of us. It was her reassurance that, despite Mommy and Daddy might not be together anymore, we were still a family, a unit.

"Watch the hair!" Renee warned.

"Relax, Renee, she's fine," Charlie calmed her down.

Maya and I chuckled at our parents, who were still the same people after so many years. Renee the eccentric one, Charlie the tranquil.

"Alright, I better head downstairs," Renee announced, letting go. "I'll be in the first row, baby."

"Okay," I said quietly.

My mother smiled. "Love you, baby, and I'm _so_ proud of you." She pulled me close and pressed her lips against my forehead.

"I love you, too, Mom."

"Well then, I'll see you at the altar," she said, before turning to my sister. "Maya, go be pretty with Honor Rose, but don't you dare steal the show, understood? It's your sister's day," she spoke sternly, hugging Maya close.

"Aye aye Mom," Maya saluted.

"No joking, Maya Grace."

"I know, Mom. Don't worry."

"And Charlie," Renee continued, "Take good care of our Isabella as she goes down the aisle, okay?"

"I will, Renee," Charlie grumbled.

She beamed at him, clapping her hands. "Good luck, my darlings." She gave a little wave as she headed out the door.

Maya followed shortly after, having given me a hug of her own. "You're the best big sister, Bell. Thanks for letting me your bridesmaid today."

And then, it was just Charlie and me.

I felt my heart beat pick up, my breathing increasing. It was really happening. I was really getting married, today. _Holy shit_.

"You okay, Bells?" my father asked, concern sipping through his voice.

I nodded weakly, desperately trying to steady both my heart and lungs.

In a rather un-Charlie move, my dad grabbed my hand steadily. "It probably doesn't help a bit, kiddo, but I'm really nervous about this, too. My little girl, getting married. It seems just yesterday I got to hold you in my arms for the very first time. You've grown up so fast, Bella."

"Oh, Dad, I love you," I whimpered, clutching my arms around his neck.

"Now, Bells, don't cry. We don't want to ruin your make-up now, do we?" he laughed shakily.

"No, we wouldn't want that," I laughed along, releasing him from my death hold.

Charlie led me to the door, sounds of the guests downstairs getting louder and louder.

Just before he opened it, he looked down at me one last time. "Shall we get this done with, then?"

"Let's do this," I said.

Charlie took my hand and squeezed it lightly, before putting it in the crook of his elbow, and pulled open the door, supporting me as we descended the stairs.

They'd placed a temporary barrier in the middle of the corridor leading to the yard, so there would some more time and privacy to re-adjust everything just before the big entrée.

Maya and Honor Rose, bridesmaids and younger sisters of bride and groom, where standing behind the shield with Billie Jean, Phil's daughter from his first marriage, who would be flower girl, all ready to go. Alice was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.

"You look absolutely dashing, Bella," she smiled, her eyes twinkling with delight and excitement.

Charlie let go of me so I could hug her quickly.

And as the five of us (Alice would soon take her place as maid of honor next to Eleazar) took our position, the nerves really kicked in. Full force. Nausea welled up in my stomach, sweat breaking out on my hands.

"Don't let go of me, Dad. Don't let me do this on my own," I pleaded.

"I won't, Bells. Not ever," he said sincerely.

"Thank you."

"You're going to be just fine, Bella. Edward will be there at the end, waiting for you," Alice said, giving me one last quick hug and kissing me on the cheek before she hastily rushed to her spot.

I could hear all the guests laughing as she nearly ran across the aisle, at seven months pregnant. "It's just me, it's just me," she said.

As the first intoxicating tunes of The Cinematic Orchestra's Arrival of the Birds began it was Billie Jean's sign to walk, soon followed by Maya and Honor, who strode across the lavender blue aisle in perfect likeness.

When it changed into Clair De Lune, it was our cue to go.

Charlie squeezed my hand one last time before he led me onto the carpet walk.

The sun was shining brightly and my eyes had to re-adjust to the strong light a moment as we stepped over the threshold out onto the yard.

As they'd done so, they automatically searched for _his_ face. And as I saw him, everything around him dissolved.

Out of the corner of my eye I vaguely registeredall of the eyes on me, the faces of my closest friends and family, my little angel sitting on the lap of her grandfather Carlisle, and Alice and Eleazar standing on their respective sides of the altar.

But all I really saw was _him_. His raw and bold beauty; his bronze hair shining in the bright August sun; his Emerald green eyes sparkling like diamonds; the breathtaking way his suit hugged his body.

This incredible, most beautiful man was mine. He wanted and loved me, and was about to become my husband.

The thought alone put a wide smile on my face. _Whoa, I'm so lucky._

If it wasn't for Charlie's vice grip, I would have sprinted towards him, not caring about the fact I was wearing high heels and a floor-length strapless gown, both worth more than I wanted to think about.

After what seemed like hours instead of just a few seconds, we'd _finally_ come right in front of my almost-husband and Charlie traditionally placed my hand from his in Edward's.

"Take good care of my little girl," my father warned Edward.

"I will, Charlie. With all my life, I will."

Charlie gave him a brief nod in return and made his way to his seat next to Renee.

Edward righted himself and turned back to me.

Unable to keep the calm mask on, I giggled, the love and adoration I felt for this man too much to hide. "I love you."

"That's why we're here," he smiled.

The first part of the ceremony passed in a blur, as all I did was gazing up at Edward like a love-sick fool – which I was, frankly.

Part of me still couldn't fathom that this creature was mine.

I was so lucky. Wait, I said that before, didn't I? Well, I just am, can't help it.

Since Edward had insisted in going last in saying our vows – something I'd tried to fight, but soon came to see as a lost cause – I'd the enormous honor of going first.

"My dearest Edward, the moment I met you, you changed my life. You made me believe in what I didn't believe in before. You made me believe in myself and in the existence of true, eternal love," I started, tears already about to escalate onto my cheeks.

"By just being you, you gave me the world. You gave me the most beautiful gift, you gave me our daughter." As I motioned to Auden, we both automatically looked at the little girl that was ours sitting front row, smiles lighting up our faces.

"My life with you has been rocky and hectic, but I wouldn't trade it for the universe. In your very own way you love me, love me like no words or images will ever be able to describe. You've always cared and supported me. And for that, I'm _so_ grateful. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, be with you, love and support you. It's something I know I'll never grow tired of doing. I'm happy I can do this as your lawfully wedded and legal wife," I ended, tears in my eyes because of the profound love I had for him and the overwhelming fact I was marrying him, right here, right now.

I hastily wiped the moist away before I returned my gaze towards my love.

Edward looked down at me with the most intense and emotional look I'd ever seen in his eyes, which were filled with tears, too.

"Dammit, here I wanted to go last, and now your vows have left me speechless and voiceless," he chuckled hoarsely.

Our audience and I joined in.

"Just giving you a taste of your own medicine," I shrugged.

"Not funny," he nearly growled.

"Edward, son, are you ready to say your vows?" Philip asked – we'd wanted to keep everything to do with the wedding close to home, and had therefore asked Edward's paternal grandfather to stand in as our minister.

Edward closed his eyes briefly, coughing once before reopening them. He stared down at me. "Isabella, my love, my life, before you my world was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars – points of light and reason…and then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty," he spoke sincerely, his words and the depth of those leaving me speechless.

"I never wanted to let go of this feeling, this feeling you gave me, and _you_ only. The feeling you've continued to give me, continued to this very moment. I won't ever let go of you, you can count on that. By marrying me today, you've made me the happiest man alive. Thank you," he concluded.

I smiled up at him with new tears in my eyes.

Edward cupped my cheeks and softly whipped away the fallen drops off my skin before turning back to our minister.

While we'd written our vows ourselves, our wedding contract was like any other.

"Do you, Edward Anthony Cullen, take Isabella Marie Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish her, in sickness and in health, through the good and the bad, as long as you both shall life?"

"I do," Edward said sincerely, sounding as if he had never been more sure of anything in his life. He hastily diverted his eyes to me, giving me that crooked smile of his.

My lips automatically turned up in a smile of my own, and I was so preoccupied ogling Edward, that I hadn't heard Philip continuing, until I felt all eyes on me, waiting for an answer.

_Fuck! This can't be happening? It's your fucking wedding, for God's sake. Can't you keep your eyes off him for one second? One tiny second? Holy hell._

My cheeks felt like the sun as I stammered my response. "I do."

Above the laughter of the audience, there was one loud guffaw clouding them all. Emmett. _Of course_.

Normally, if embarrassed, I would have hid my face in Edward's neck or the crook of his arms or against his chest, but under the current circumstances, it wasn't really an appropriate thing to do.

"Hi Bella," an excited whisper came from next to me. "You look like a princess." It was then that I noticed Billie Jean standing next to us, holding the pillow with the rings.

_Jesus_, Bella. Snap out of it and just concentrate on the wedding. Of all the times I could snap out, my mind chose _this_ moment to go all crazy. I probably came off as if I'd been smoking weed all night.

I tried to clear my throat as quietly as possible, composing myself.

Edward looked beyond amused as he gentlemanly took my hand to place the simple ring of yellow on my third left-hand finger, joining my engagement ring.

While doing so, he kept my eyes in a hold with his intense, burning stare.

I couldn't look away. Even as it was my time to return the favor, I couldn't. Blindly, I reached for his ring on the pillow, hoping with all I had I wouldn't grasp air instead of the cool gold or drop the ring on the short way to his hand.

Luckily, Edward and I didn't have to deal with 'oh, shit, it doesn't fit' situation, given we both had fit our rings beforehand.

As the third finger of his left hand was now covered with his golden wedding band, a smile which could have lighted up the London Eye appeared on my face. The band showed he was married, that he was taken. And that he was _mine_, _and mine only_.

My husband – he was now, after all – seemed to think the same as he had that possessive gleam in his eyes.

"You may now kiss the bride," Philip declared.

_At last!_ _At last_ I'll be able to feel his lips against mine.

Philip didn't need to say it twice, as Edward took my face in his hands determinedly and connected his lips to mine in a passion-filled kiss.

As our kiss continued, sounds were coming from our audience, but I tuned them out. I was busy otherwise.

"Bella," Edward murmured against my lips. "As much as I would like to keep kissing you until I die, I think we have to pull back. Face the guests and all. We will have forever now to continue this later, after all."

"Yeah, we should," I mumbled, but my body thought otherwise, my arms locking themselves around his neck and pulling him only closer to me.

"Forget what I said," my husband growled, tightening his hold on me.

"Edward, just to inform you, Em and a few of our dear cousins are ready to throw stuff at you any moment," Alice's whispered voice pinched through our bubble.

"Damn it. My family's name should be changed from the Cullen's to the Interferers, seriously," Edward groaned in my mouth, slowly letting go of me.

_Whoa_. I actually felt high. I wanted to perform a crazy dance right then and there, at the altar, at my wedding. Jeeze.

When we finally found the willpower to pull apart, our guests erupted in applause and from all sides we were hugged and congratulated.

It took a while before I got around my husband again, familiar faces pulling me from side to side.

I spotted my daughter and eagerly reached out for her as she reached out for me. I cradled her against my chest.

"Hey," I said, stroking the thin layer of bronze hair that covered her small head. "Momma missed you."

The sun lit up her ivory skin so beautifully, and her beauty was almost surreal, something she had clearly inherited from her father. I probably would be left speechless 24/7 with two such dazzling creatures around me every day.

Suddenly, one of Auden's little arms went up, reaching out to something behind me.

Even before I turned around, I knew who it was.

Edward.

I could tell from the sudden strengthened magnetic pull I always felt around him; I could tell from the hair on my bare shoulder blades standing upright at the proximity of his presence; I could tell because Auden made this little sound she only made when Edward or me came in her sight.

"Long time no see, stranger," I smiled as I _did_ turn around, giving him the opportunity to take over our daughter.

"I have to say I find stranger a little inappropriate given the circumstances. If I would have been you, I would have gone with _husband_," he said, kissing Auden on the top of her head.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, don't you worry. You will hear me calling you like that often enough in the future."

"Good. Now come closer so I can hug and kiss the hell out of you, me wife."

A giggle erupted from my lips as my husband pulled me in his side with his free arm, taking me in for a kiss.

Through the skin of our bubble, I could make out the sound of a camera flashing, as well as the flash itself from the corner of my eye.

"Honor Rose Sophia, go take photos of something or someone else, will you?" Edward said dryly, without even looking at his sister, the photographer.

"No," said his little sister said stubbornly. "It's your wedding, so I'm obliged to take lots and lots of photos of the two of you. Now, if you please will be so kind to stop molesting your wife for a second, I can snap a few shots of the three of you, and I will be out of your view in a whim."

Edward jerked away his head from my lips to glare at his sister. "I'm not molesting her!"

"Duh. Of course you aren't. It's called a hyperbole, whiney-ass."

Edward sighed, hastily laying an arm around my shoulders and drawing me into his side. Together we held Auden.

"I don't know if you guys have noticed it, but the three of you look amazing together," Honor commented while making photos.

"Of course we do," Edward said matter-of-factly.

When the ceremony was fully over, the rows of chairs were hastily pushed to the side, replaced by dinner tables and new sets of chairs.

The after-party could begin.

As we'd all settled down at the tables and dinner was served, Eleazar stood up for his best man speech.

"So, as customary, the best man gives a speech," Eleazar opened his speech, flute of wine in his hand.

"I've never done this before, and I hope I never have to do so again," he chuckled, making us all laugh.

"If it wasn't Edward who'd asked me to do this, I might say to get lost. But it _is_ Edward. My best friend," he continued, tipping his head at Edward.

"It seemed like just yesterday he called me from Forks, Washington to say he'd met the _one_. I laughed it off and pointed out he was just eighteen and hadn't even graduated from high school.

"But he insisted on her being the one, though. Well, I wanted to see this girl with my own eyes, of course. I mean, after eighteen years of living practically like a monk off-screen, Edward finally met a girl in the middle of nowhere – no offence to Forks, Washington, but get real, it is a hole – whom he was convinced was the one. I mean, c'mon be real," Eleazar laughed.

"But, it was real. Anyone who sees Bella and Edward together knows this. To this day, I still don't know how the hell they've got so lucky to meet their soul mates in an early stage of their lives. It's really just unfair, 'cos Edward always is the lucky one of Vampire Heart. Don't you try to disagree with me, Cullen. Benji and Ste have my back on this.

"Anyway, before I raise my glass to drink to Bella and Edward, I want to thank Isabella once again, for the profound effect she has on my best friend. You made him live, supported him and stood by his side. You kept up with his stubborn, smart whining ass. I don't know how you can do it, but thank you nonetheless. You made him believe; believe in himself, and for that, I'll always be thankful. I wish you both the best of luck and happiness. "

Everyone erupted in applause, and as Eleazar took his seat, Edward leaned in to wrap him in a guy-hug. "Thank you man, thank you so much," he whispered to his best friend.

"It was nothing, Cullen," Eleazar waved off.

After Eleazar's speech, it was up to Alice, who looked like she might combust of excitement and happiness any damn second.

"The day I heard my dear brother and Bella had _finally_ got together, the glass walls of our house in Forks nearly broke under the pressure of my excited screams. Ever since I noticed the effect Bella had on Edward, I knew they would be just perfect together. My family thought I was my usual crazy self, but well, wasn't I completely right?"

"Yes, you were Alice," Emmett snickered.

"Shut up, Em, really," she silenced him. "Anyhoo, Bella was the missing puzzle piece to our family. Not only did she complete my brother, but also us as his family. Something which Edward wasn't really fond of, since he isn't one to be known as a great sharer. He always wanted to keep Bella to himself, but we didn't like that. _I_ didn't, at least. I needed a shopping buddy since Rosalie was to busy doing I-don't-want-to-know-what with Emmett and Honor Rose had enough clothes by just getting our hand-me-downs and would go check out music stores anyway if I took her with me. Edward didn't like me pulling such a stunt. He was all for being a Sullen Cullen every time I stole his girlfriend, accusing me of taking away their time alone together. Over the years, he's gotten better sharing Bella with the rest of the world, but he will always be Sullen Edward to me. To Edward and Bella – may you live happily as a family for the rest of your lives, and never have to leave each other's sides. Except for shopping, of course. Sorry Edward."

As it was time for dinner, I dove right into my food because I was famished – who knew a wedding could leave you so hungry?

Next to me, Edward snickered at my caveman way of savoring my meal. I stuck out my tongue at him.

Which he, of course, saw as an invite to plunge it back in my mouth with his own.

Look who's going all caveman now!

When dinner was over, several people took the stage to say something or perform a song or poem.

As did Honor Rose. She took the stage carrying a sound table, accompanied by someone I recognized as a cousin of my in-laws, who took place behind the jazz piano.

"For those of you who don't know me, which would be weird, given the fact you form part of a very exclusive group of people invited to this wedding-"

Emmett and Edward shared a glance, shaking their heads at their youngest sister.

"-I'm Honor Rose Cullen, little sister of the groom," Honor introduced her act shyly.

"Sky Bluefield, my cousin, and I are going to perform an acoustic version of Daniel, a song by Bat For Lashes, who's the coolest. This one's for the happy couple," she continued.

She cleared her throat and settled on the bar stool, pressing down some buttons on the sound table. The moment Honor's soft but raw voice sounded from the speakers and microphone, you could literally hear a pin drop.

After Honor Rose, Vampire Heart did two songs and Edward himself did a Van Morrison cover.

Near the end of the song, Emmett ran up the stage and took away the microphone from his brother. "And now it's time for the first dance!" he yelled.

Edward shook his head at Emmett, but set down his guitar and made his way over back to our table, to me.

He pulled me up from my chair and led me to the created dance floor in the midst of the yard, pulling me flush against his body as he swung us softly to the music.

Utterly content, I rested my head against his chest.

"I love you Mrs. Cullen," Edward whispered sincerely in my ear, as not to break our magical moment with loud sounds.

"You love that, don't you? Finally being justified to call me Mrs. Cullen," I smirked.

"Of course I am. You're mine, and mine only."

"I could say the same about you," I said, throwing my head back so I could look up at him.

"I'm yours," Edward said, before closing the gap to place his lips against mine.

Our first dance passed by way too soon and we were pulled apart by others who wanted to have a dance of their own with one of us.

As I'd danced with nearly everybody, I couldn't feel my feet anymore. I hastily made my way to a room upstairs, so I could change the high heels for my comfy TOMS. As I slipped my swollen feet in the cool, soft shoes, I couldn't help but moan in contentment.

This felt so good.

I then reminded myself of the fact I was at my own wedding, which meant I couldn't just sneak out. Besides, I was in a desperate need to feel my husband's arms around me, again.

When I'd gotten back downstairs, I saw Edward standing at the end of the yard, scanning his eyes across the tables with guests.

He must have been worrying about me.

Determinedly, I marched my way to him, something he did as well as soon as his eyes had found me.

"There you are. I was wondering where you'd gone," he murmured in a shaking voice of worry, taking me in a tight embrace.

"I went upstairs to change shoes. The heels were _killing_ me," I explained, moving my hands over his chest.

He must have taken off his suit jacket while I was gone.

"I missed you," I muttered in his shirt, pampering his clothed chest with butterfly kisses.

"I missed you too," he said sweetly, a new smile pulling the edges of his lips up, a smile blinding me as if I was staring straight into the sun.

I had to blink a few times before I could see clearly again.

"When are you going to tell me where we're going? I asked, trying to keep the pressing curiosity out of my voice as best as possible.

I knew absolutely nothing of where on earth Edward would take us for our honeymoon. Auden would be coming along as well, since her Daddy and I couldn't bear to leave her behind and not see her for weeks. Besides, we were looking forward to spend some good quality time with just the three of us, away from everyone and everything.

For a few months now, it had often occurred that I would walk into Edward on the phone or on his Macbook, and suddenly acting strangely as he noticed me, closing the door in my face or walking away to another room.

Dammit, he knew how much I hated surprises and it was also _my_ honeymoon. It was unfair, really.

"You'll know soon enough," he smirked, clearly content with himself.

_Asshole_, I thought while trying to point diggers at him. Which was really just doomed to fail as all I wanted to do was kiss him senseless, or anything of that sort.

As I realized the dagger stare wasn't going to work, I went for a pout instead – a full mode pout.

_That_ seemed to have a much better effect on the man.

"Don't, Isabella. Really, don't," Edward warned, his eyes now a dark, lustful green.

My body heated up at the scorching emotions swimming in the Emerald pools of his intoxicating eyes.

Gah, him and his paralysing pair of eyes. He damn well knew what an effect they had on me.

"Oh, and why not?" I mocked, deliberately not turning up my eyes at said eyes.

"Because I'm on the brick of telling you, which would put all those months of secrecy in vain. You pouting at me only makes it worse."

"How am I supposed to know what to pack for myself and Auden, then?" I cried out, my voice a little too loud.

"You don't. Already taken care of."

_Huh?_ "What? You packed my stuff?"

"What 'what'? You told me you were completely okay with me choosing your outfit. Besides, I didn't do it on my own. I had some help," he defended himself.

I pulled up my eyebrows, letting him know I wasn't satisfied with his answer. _Of whom?_

"Alice. She would have done it anyway, so there was really no point in trying to work my way around her."

"Alice packed my stuff?"

_Oh God_, that would only be flimsy lingerie, see through tops and all that stuff.

"Yeah."

* * *

"We will leave tomorrow morning," Edward declared as the wedding was twiddling down.

"Why?"

"Because I want to spend our wedding in a bed, in a real bed."

"Oh."

The next morning, after the most perfect wedding night _ever_, we caught a flight from Heathrow to Sydney.

An Australian honeymoon? I liked that idea very much, and I'd always wanted to go to Sydney.

Edward told me it was just a pit stop, though.

Oh.

The trip from London to Sydney was killer and I tried to sleep away as much as Auden allowed for. We got lucky, as it seemed that the wedding had worn her out, and she slept for longer periods of time than she normally did.

While having to wait for our new flight, I snuggled up on the waiting hall seat, my head resting on my husband's shoulder.

"I'm happy," I sighed contently, despite the travelling having worn me out.

Edward looked down at me, a smile pulling up on his face. "Me, too."

Auden started to wiggle in my arms and as I gave her my pinkie to suck on, she eagerly took it.

Someone's hungry.

I stood up and cradled my daughter closer to my chest. "I'm going to feed Auden. I will be back in a few."

"Can I come with?" my husband asked eagerly, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"No," I said sternly as I grabbed a cotton sheet to wrap around Auden.

"Why not? It's not as if I haven't seen you do it before."

"Because," I hold my ground.

"Please?" he pouted.

"No!" I said, a little too loud. Damn him and that pout.

I stopped him with my free hand as he was about to stand up himself. "You didn't tell me our honeymoon destination, now you have to live with the consequences."

Without waiting for his response or looking back, I marched to a deserted area of the airport so I could breastfeed my little angel in peace.

After Auden seemed to be satisfied, I held her upright so she could burp. As I looked down on my child, a warm feeling filled my heart. This beautiful creature was mine. I still couldn't fathom the idea.

She and I were wearing similar outfits, as in a track tee with the first letter of our name, black leggings and TOMS.

Before I knew, we'd both dozed off.

"Could Bella Cullen make it to terminal 7A? I repeat, could Bella Cullen make it to terminal 7A?"

Huh, what a weird dream.

Suddenly, I was pulled out of my little nap by two hands grabbing me at the shoulders.

"What? Where am I?" I looked around in a daze before my eyes settled on a pair of green eyes, Emerald green eyes might I add. _Edward's_ green eyes.

"Bella, our plane is leaving any minute," he rushed out, pulling me on my feet and leading me back to our terminal. "You took so long and I didn't know where you'd gone. You also didn't take your phone, which you'd left in your purse." He sounded really worried.

As we travelled first class, we didn't have to stand in line for long and before I knew we were seated in the most comfortable seats.

After another five and a half hours stuck on the plane, it slowly started to descend and as it had come to a stop, Edward whispered in my ear "Welcome to New Zealand, Mrs. Cullen."

* * *

**The last parts might be a little weird and flimsy floosy, but I just needed them off my chest. I hope to have a new chapter up real soon, but I can't promise anything. Sorry. Reviews would be very, very appreciated.**


	23. Island of Peace

**Dating Fame**  
**chapter 23: Island of Peace**

**So, so, so incredibly sorry for the super late update. I'm really very sorry. Thank you to those who stuck with me and read this story nonetheless.  
**

**I hadn't planned on including the honeymoon in the principal story, but then a few of you stated in a review you were excited for the honeymoon, so I sat down and came up with what our dear newlyweds, _and_ Auden, would do on their honeymoon down under (New Zealand, that is). I also put in a bit more of the flight, so the first part of this chapter is an extended version of the end of chapter 22. Capiche?**

**Beta'd by the amazing _With The What Now_.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just play around.**

**PLEASE READ THE A/N AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS CHAPTER. I REALLY NEED YOUR OPINION.  
**

* * *

Auden had woken up some time before landing, and as to help put pressure off her ears I decided it would be best to give her some milk.

"It's okay, Auden. Mommy and Daddy are here. It will be over soon," I reassured her as she drank eagerly, softly stroking the thin layer of hair on her head.

"You know, everybody told me flying with children could be hell, but I've got to say, Auden hasn't been of great difficulty," Edward mused as the plane set in for landing.

"She will, I think. It's all about hunger, sleep and changing diapers at this stage, but once she's able to walk and talk…we've to keep her busy for the entire duration of the flight."

"Yeah, you're right. My poor mother, she had to travel with four children at once from time to time."

"On her own?"

Poor Esme, indeed. Although I loved Auden to death, and I knew Esme loved Edward and his siblings just the same, traveling with children _could_ be frustrating at times.

"Not often, but it did occur. The age difference between us four helped. When Honor was at the age she needed my parents' attention at all times, Emmett was already perfectly capable of keeping himself busy, and Alice and I had each other," he explained, while chewing on gum to keep the pressure off his ears.

Edward chewing gum? _Sexy as hell._

I might have drooled a bit.

By the time Auden finished her bottle, we were already in full landing mode. I held her close to my chest, slowly swaying her and pressing soothing kisses to her forehead.

She let out a few whimpers, but luckily the plane was on the ground and the air pressure had already gone before she could start crying at the top of her little lungs.

"Welcome to New Zealand, Mrs. Cullen," Edward whispered in my ear as the plane came to a full stop.

His voice sending shivers through my body held my attention at first, but then his words set in.

New Zealand_. New Zealand? _We would spend our honeymoon in _New Zealand? New Zealand, _where they filmed_ Lord of the Rings?_

Oh my God_. Oh my God._

Getting to spend my honeymoon in New Zealand was going to be the most awesome thing! I almost didn't hold it, as all I wanted to do was run out of the plane and enjoy the New Zealand air. _Now_.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I chanted, peppering Edward's face with kisses.

"You're welcome," he smiled.

Although part of me wanted to run the fuck out, I _was_ pretty damn tired from the hours and hours of traveling. _Better take it easy now._

We serenely waited for the rest of the passengers to exit the plane before we moved from our seats and made our way out.

Several people passing us gifted my husband with a smile or suspicious look, and we knew we had been recognized.

I wouldn't be surprised to find grainy pictures of us in our seats on the internet later.

It was a relief to know, though, that we didn't need to worry about paparazzi waiting for us as we walked through the airport of Auckland.

A feeling of calmness and peace fell over me as we followed the other travelers to customs. I looked up at my husband – whoa, _Edward Cullen_ was _my_ _husband_. Still a bit flabbergasted – and my lips automatically pulled up in a smile.

Edward looked down at me, a happy smile on his face as well, and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on my lips.

As we stood in line for passport control, he threw an arm around my shoulders and drew me close into his side, burying his face in my hair.

"I love you, Isabella Cullen," he whispered, sending shivers all over my body.

"I love you, too," I told him.

From out the corner of my eye, I saw several people whispering to each other while throwing hasty glances at us.

I still found it weird that people knew who I was, but I couldn't find it in me to care now. We weren't harassed, our way wasn't blocked…and besides, I was still in my bubble of honeymoon bliss.

After having gathered our luggage, we set out for the car rental.

While my husband put away all our luggage in the car and strapped Auden in her carrier, I ventured out for sandwiches and drinks to bring with us on the road. It was just some twenty kilometers to Auckland, but I didn't have the patience to wait any longer for food.

As I stood in line for the cash counter, my eyes fell onto the magazine stand and I couldn't help but look if any of the covers featured Edward.

I wasn't surprised to find that there were indeed a few celebrity magazines which had put him on the front.

"Miss, Miss," a voice called.

My head swept up and to my embarrassment I registered that I was next in line and had been too occupied to notice.

"Sorry," I muttered, placing my goods on the counter.

The young man behind the counter zoomed in on my left hand. "Sorry, ma'am, I hadn't seen your wedding ring, or I wouldn't have called you Miss."

"Oh, it doesn't matter. Miss is okay, too." I hadn't even noticed the difference.

After he'd put all my goodies in a paper bag, he handed it to me over the counter. I gave him a smile in goodbye and made my way back to my husband and daughter.

Unsurprisingly, music was already playing from our car's stereo. Edward listened to music all the time. I recognized it as Bat for Lashes.

As I hopped in the car, Edward's head snapped up from the direction he'd been staring in, to my face.

"Hey," he said softly, a smile lighting up his face.

"Hi," I put down the bag in between us and leaned over the console to kiss my husband's lips.

"I like your choice of music," I commented as he started up the car's engine and swiftly drove off the parking lot.

"What? This is your favorite singer," Edward said surprised. He seemed to miss the point.

"She is, but I didn't know _you_ listened to it on your own as well."

"I admit I heard of her because of you playing it at the house 24/7, but I really like her music myself. She's great."

"That she is. I can't wait for a new album and new gigs. She's awesome live, too."

Couldn't fucking wait for that.

Edward glanced at me quickly and smiled before turning his eyes back to the road.

I hummed along to the music as I took in the Auckland suburb area. Then, I remembered I had my camera stacked in my purse and hastily took it out.

The fact we were in a fast-driving vehicle and there was a window separating me from the view, didn't stop me from making some photos.

If I saw something beautiful, intriguing, mesmerizing or anything that spiked my mind, I just had to take a photo of it. That's the way I worked.

"So, what's in the bag?" Edward brought me out of my reverie.

"Subtle much, eh, Mr Cullen?" I smirked as I put away my camera, but not before I'd snapped a picture of the god-gorgeous creature sitting next to me driving our car.

"What? I want to know what there's for food first before I get fed something disgusting and spit it all over the dashboard."

"Edward, we've been together for _years_. Don't you have faith in me? Don't you think by now I know perfectly well what you like for food and what not?" I feigned shock.

"You're crazy," he snickered, shaking his head. "You know what I mean."

"Of course I do. I _know_ you, remember?" I wiggled my eyebrows, just because I felt like it.

"That you do. Now, tell me what you've got in that bag, woman of mine."

"_Woman of mine_? Is that what you're going to call me from now on?" I mused, purposely not giving in to his request.

"_Isabella_," he sighed. "You've been 'woman of mine' since we got together, you didn't have to marry me for that. And _please_, before I go crazy, show me what's in that damn bag."

"Alright, because you asked so nicely."

"Isabella."

"Hush, hush. Don't be so impatient," I said, silencing him by placing two fingers on his lips. With my free hand I took out the sandwiches and fruit drinks and showed them to him.

"Does it meet up to your wishes, sir?" I questioned.

He snickered once more, shaking his head at my behavior.

_Well, I didn't care._

I handed him one of the sandwiches and unpacked one for myself as well.

Just then, the opening tunes of my favorite Bat for Lashes song started – one of my favorite songs in general – and I automatically turned up the volume.

It had meant so much to me Honor Rose had chosen _that_ one song to perform at our wedding.

"Be quiet. I love this song," I told Edward before he could even say anything.

_Daniel when I first saw you  
I knew that you had a flame in your heart  
And under our blue skies  
Marble movie skies  
I found a home in your eyes  
We'll never be apart_

I hummed along to the lyrics, looking straight at Edward.

_And when the fires came  
The smell of cinders and rain  
Perfumed almost everything  
We laughed and laughed and laughed  
And in the golden blue  
A kayak took me to the darkest place  
And you have set fire to my heart_

These lyrics really said it for me. The moment I first saw Edward, I felt a flame ignite in me. I got lost in his eyes, knowing I was safe with him. And I never, ever wanted to be parted from him.

I closed my eyes, letting the music take over my mind and letting it sip through my system.

I felt Edward's hand brushing over mine, slowly and softly intertwining his fingers with my own. Our entangled hands were lifted and he moved his lips over my knuckles.

As the next song came on, I re-opened my eyes. Edward was looking straight at me, a crackling intense look in his eyes.

"I love you," I simply said.

A smile played up in the corners of his lips, and it didn't take long or I was granted his breathtaking crooked grin.

By the time we passed the outskirts of the city borders of Auckland, I was back with my face planted against window, not wanting to miss anything, wanting to see everything.

Edward had arranged us a suite at an exclusive, luxurious accommodation. Although I hated the fact he'd spent so much money on us _again_, I couldn't help but revel in the fluffy bed covers and pillows and the peace the suite gave off.

I was glad to find it also housed a kitchen, so we were really free in when and what we wanted to eat.

After putting away all our luggage, taking showers and giving Auden a bath, we set out for the nearest grocery store to stock up our kitchen.

I didn't know what it was about being in a grocery store with Edward, but the electric tension between the two of us seemed to increase by a hundred.

I just _had_ to touch him, _had_ to feel him against me. His heart beating against his chest, his lips on my lips, his long, talented fingers stroking my cheek. I was addicted to his presence, I _craved_ for his presence.

"Isabella," Edward murmured against my hungry lips as I'd cornered him against the coolers in the back of the store and attacked his mouth.

"Shut up," I retorted, pulling his head back to me.

He kissed me back for a moment, before loosening my grip on him and setting me back on my feet. "Isabella, love, we're in a public space, and the clerk seems on the brink of evicting us from his store."

I went to stand on my tip-toes again so I could kiss him once more. "I don't care."

The chuckle coming deep from his throat vibrated through my body and it made me only more passionate.

Since Edward was the one pressed up against the coolers, I was the one with my back to the store. Hence, I was the one who got tapped on the shoulder.

The voice that spoke was not the one I'd expected, giving the circumstances and my actions. It wasn't the voice of the grumbling, fuming clerk. It was that of an old lady.

"Excuse me, but may I…could I grab something out of the cooler?" she said without any trace of embarrassment, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to see two people pressed up against the coolers kissing passionately.

"Eh…yeah, of course. I'm sorry," I stuttered, absolutely mortified as I hastily pulled Edward to the other side of the store while also pushing the cart.

Once we were out of the sight of both the old lady and other customers, Edward clasped double and let out one of the loudest fits of laughter I'd ever heard.

"Stop it," I pleaded, casting down my head so my hair hid my face. I bent down to pick up Auden from the cart and focused on my daughter's soft layer of hair.

"Oh, c'mon, Isabella, that really was a taste of your own medicine," Edward chuckled breathlessly.

"You let me!" I shout-whispered, not wanting to startle Auden.

"Of course I did. I'm a man after all," he smiled. His laughter had died down, but he was still chuckling silently.

Without giving him another glance, I turned the cart around and strode away from him stubbornly, putting in a dramatic humph to my act.

Edward caught up with me almost immediately, trying his best not to fall back into a fit of laughter. Luckily for him, he was able to contain himself, and we made it through our shopping list fairly smoothly.

The clerk might not have chastised us, but when it was our turn at the counter, the way he was seizing us up and glaring at us disapprovingly made it clear he was not happy with us.

_Maybe we should take our grocery shopping to a different store next time._

Both of us carrying a couple of shopping bags, we hastily left the store. Once we were outside, Edward drew me in his side with his free arm, placing his lips on my forehead. "I'm sorry, honey. It was rude of me to laugh at you like that."

I wasn't about to give in. Sweet talking wouldn't get him anywhere. "Yeah."

"Isabella, love," he whispered in my ear.

I shuddered, but was still not giving in.

Auden, my savior, chose that moment to let out a long wail. All thoughts about our little row were immediately forgotten and Edward and I only had eyes for our daughter.

Edward carefully pulled her from the carrier I was carrying her in and cradled her against his chest.

"Hey, sweetheart, what's the matter?" he drawled out tenderly, moving his lips over her scalp soothingly.

I held out my free hand to take over his shopping bags so he'd have both hands free to hold Auden, who was gripping onto her father's basic grey tee tightly.

"I think she's hungry," Edward observed.

"I think so, too," I agreed, from the way Auden was sucking on her father's pinkie.

He hoisted her up in his arms, pampering her with butterfly kisses all over her face. "I love you, my little angel. I love you so, so much. I always will. Never forget that," he whispered to her.

Tears automatically welled up in my eyes at the adorable sight next to me. I lifted up one of my hands, careful not to bump the shopping bags against Auden, and softly stroked her cheek.

Edward caught my eyes and smiled at me, his Emerald green pools lighting up from within. He leaned in to place a kiss on my scalp. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I whispered back, standing on my tiptoes so I could nuzzle his neck.

Once back in the warmth and peace of our condo, with our groceries packed away, I sat down on the couch so I could breastfeed Auden.

I looked down at my four-months-old daughter, and was amazed how big she was becoming. It seemed like only yesterday she was born. How time flied.

Her hair was growing, too, and the bronze copper color inherited from her Daddy was really coming through.

I craned my neck to be able to look at Edward, who was seated with his back to me at the kitchen table writing an email to his parents, occasionally taking sips from his beer.

Turning my eyes back to Auden, the overwhelming feeling of belonging, of being at peace, shot through my body. I'd found my place. Here, with my daughter in my arms, my husband close by in the kitchen. About to release my first writings.

I'd had my fair share of struggles and insecurities and awkward situations, never really fitting in anywhere completely. Hovering at the edge of social groups, alone. Sitting here, though, in a suite during my honeymoon, breastfeeding my little angel, I took it all for granted. All my sufferings had brought me to this place, to the man I was now entitled to call my husband, to the most beautiful little creature who was my daughter.

"Hey," Edward brought me out of my reverie, taking a seat next to me on the couch, laying his arm to rest behind me.

"Hi," I greeted him, leaning in so I could kiss him. I poured out every ounce of gratitude, happiness, merry I felt.

"Isabella," my husband groaned, scooting closer as he took my face in both his hands, deepening the kiss as we explored each other's mouths with our tongues.

Eventually, we pulled back for air, but Edward's lips didn't leave my skin, skimming over my jaw and cheekbone with his arm around my neck dangling over my shoulder.

Auden finished drinking not much later and I pulled her up so she could burp. Her legs buckled a few times before she found her balance and was able to support her body as she stood on my lap. After her burps, she brought her hand to her mouth, sucking on it while looking around in wonder.

Edward leaned back on the couch so he came in Auden's vision, whose eyes stopped roaming around the moment she registered her Daddy.

Holding onto me with her hand in my neck, she let go of the one in her mouth and stuck out her arm, reaching towards him.

He took her hand in both of his and kissed each knuckle, holding her gaze with his.

"Hey Auden Everly," he smiled at her before he moved up and kissed her on her forehead, while she took a fistful of his hair in her hand.

"Honey," I said to her, "careful with your Daddy." I hoisted her up and stood up from the couch, brushing off my lap.

"Shall we start dinner?" I asked my husband.

"Sure," he nodded, following me towards the kitchen.

We made dinner together, Auden sitting in her carrier on the counter playing with her stuffed lion, Edward's iPod playing The Smiths.

As Morrisey was singing _There is a light and it never goes out_, I reached behind Auden for a carrot and the moment her eyes fell on the vegetable, she fell into a fit of laughter, producing a volume I'd never heard her make before.

Once the carrot had disappeared from her eyesight, she fell silent, to fall back in laughter when I lifted it back up.

Edward and I stared at our daughter in shock, not knowing where it had come from, but basked in delight once we saw how happy our daughter seemed to be, and went on working on our dinner.

We spent the first days of our honeymoon taking lazy strolls through the city, visiting museums and highlights, taking our time to take in the beauty of Auckland and its surroundings.

"God, it's so beautiful here," I breathed out as I looked around and around, seeing beauty all around me.

We'd driven out to the Piha coastal settlement some 28 kilometers west from Auckland's city centre for the day, and my…the coastal line was just so mesmerizing.

Edward was holding Auden, who seemed to be more taken by her father's necklace than the gorgeous scenery we were surrounded by.

I laid down a picnic cloth and emptied the bag full of food and drinks. Although it was still winter here, the weather wasn't unpleasant and when clothed warm, the cold didn't bother me much.

Auden was bundled up in a shearling coat, shawl and warm leggings as well as caramel Uggs. I wasn't a fan of the label myself, but I had to say…on my daughter they looked adorable and most importantly, they kept her warm. Alice was the one who got them for her, and I wasn't the one to turn down a 200 something dollar gift.

"Aw, look at her," I chuckled, looking at my daughter sitting upright against Edward's legs.

"You're making fun of my little girl?" he said, putting on the protective father tone. I was sure I was going to hear that a lot for the rest of her life.

His words made me chuckle only harder and they turned into fits of laughter.

Auden, meanwhile, stared at me questioningly, a look on her face that seemed to say 'why is Mommy acting so strange?'

I leaned down to place a kiss on her little nose. "Mommy wasn't making fun of you, angel. You just looked a little funny all bundled up with only your face not being covered with clothing. I love you very much and you are the most beautiful creature Mommy has ever laid eyes on. Including your Daddy, but don't tell him that. It would hurt his ego."

"Isabella," said Daddy growled softly.

"See, now I've hurt his ego," I giggled at Auden, who smiled at the sound of my giggles and placed her hands on my cheeks.

I held them to face as I placed another kiss on my daughter's nose before I moved up my head to my husband, while holding Auden's hands in my own.

"Oh honey, you know I love you. And I think you're really handsome." I pressed my lips against his, quickly deepening the kiss.

Not breaking the kiss, I heard and felt Edward fumbling in my purse and not much later I heard the distinctive sound of my camera's shutter. Once he had put it back in my purse, Edward brought his hand back to my cradle my face.

After early lunch, we set out for a walk to the Kitekite Falls, some miles inward from the Pita coastal settlement.

During our hike, with Edward carrying Auden on his back, we didn't talk much, simply taking in the raw nature surrounding us.

Upon our return, we had dinner at a diner located at the beach and had a beautiful view on the setting sun.

Afterwards, we ventured out to the beach once more, so I had the opportunity to take some more photos of the gorgeous scenery and light.

Twilight had always been my most favorite time of the day.

* * *

"Hey," Edward's voice came from behind me.

I turned away from the breathtaking view in front of me to face my husband.

I hastily took a photo of him before he was able to put a hand in front of his face.

He just closed the door behind him and walked up to me, pulling me to his chest.

"Hi. Good morning."

His lips pulled up in a smile as he looked down at me. "How long have you been out here? Your side of the bed had already cooled off when I woke up."

"I don't know actually. I just had to capture this gorgeous scenery around us. At this hour, the light and sky are most beautiful. They give off this extra hint of mystery and beauty, you know."

"Yeah."

"What? Can't I be passionate about something?"

"Of course you can. It's just so cute when you talk about things like that. You've got such a remarkable view on the world," he said softly, pride shining through in his voice as he smiled at me. He stroked his fingers over my cheek.

Yesterday, after a few-days stay in Wellington, we relocated to an isolated lodge further south on the South Island, overlooking a ridge of mountains topped with snow. The sky blue and the air so pure.

I'd never seen something more breathtaking and grandiose. Looking at these mountains made me feel inferior and small. They had been here for thousands of years, towering over the land. It was a good inferior and small, though.

I turned in Edward's arms, putting my head to rest on his collarbone as we gazed across the mountains together.

"It's so beautiful here," I mused, absently moving my finger tops over the skin of his hands.

"It is."

After what felt like an eternity had passed, I realized Auden still had to be fed. "What time is it?"

Edward looked at his watch, the watch that he'd yet to put on. "I wouldn't know. I think it's somewhere past nine."

I nodded. "I'm gonna get Auden out of bed. It's time for her breakfast."

"She woke up just as I was about to go looking for you. She seemed content just laying in her crib."

"And how long was that ago? She's impatient, remember?"

"How could she not be?" he chuckled.

I stood on my tiptoes to grant his marvelous lips with a kiss before I would retrieve my daughter from her bed.

Edward wasn't satisfied with one, single kiss as he pulled me back to prolong the moment.

"Edward," I murmured against his lips.

"Yes, my love?"

"Let me go."

"As you wish."

"Asshole," I muttered, slapping his arm. I turned on my heels and went inside.

"You want breakfast, too?" Edward called out.

"Would be delicious," I answered him.

Auden was staring at her own little hands intensely, bringing them to different heights in front of her eyes.

Her head shot in my direction as I made my presence known by closing the door.

"Hey angel," I said, rushing to her little bed to cradle her in my arms. I softly moved my lips over her small head as I stroked one of my hands over her soft cheek.

Auden held onto my t-shirt, clinging onto with both hands gripping the fabric.

"Shall we get you dressed, young lady?" I asked, hoisting her up as I walked us to the changing table.

I laid her down, one hand on her stomach so she wouldn't roll off. With the other I put on the CD player and pressed the play button.

The mesmerizing tunes of The Cinematic Orchestra filled the room.

"You like this music, Auden? Mommy does, a lot. She finds it very soothing, and beautiful. It puts her mind to rest. Mommy and Daddy also put this song in their wedding. Remember?"

My daughter looked at me with wide eyes, chewing on both of her hands with her gums.

I let out a soft chuckle and leaned down to give her a kiss on her forehead, freeing her hands from her mouth and holding them with my own.

The evening before, I'd already picked out her outfit for today. I didn't have to reach into a suitcase to get her clothes, it was laying right next to me. That was a good thing, it meant I didn't have to let go of Auden.

I dressed her in a pair of warm leggings – it was still winter in New Zealand after all – and a tee which had the design of her birth card on it, a comfy cardigan and baby shoes.

I kissed her on the side of the head as I made my way back to the living room area.

As I opened the door, I was welcomed by the scent of eggs and pancakes.

"Oh, do you smell that, Auden? Daddy is making some delicious breakfast," I said to my daughter.

As I nuzzled her neck, my four-month old burst out in hysteric hiccups.

"Do I hear my two angels?" Edward's voice came from the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen to see my husband standing at the stove making pancakes. Half of the breakfast bar was already filled with a large amount of foods; a salad, sandwiches and yoghurt. He'd really gone out.

"Hi baby," I said, placing my free hand on his back as I moved up to kiss his scruffy jaw.

"Hey."

"When's breakfast ready?"

"In a minute. I already made you coffee. It's at the sink."

"Thank you, baby." I moved my hand up his arm before grabbing my coffee mug and settling down on the couch, putting Auden in between my legs.

She looked up at me questionably, not sure of what to do, and tested out her legs. She looked around the room as she held on to the fabric of my sweatpants, bowing her legs at the knees. Suddenly, she plopped down, but she didn't seem to be hurt and rolled from her front onto her back, something she'd been doing since a few weeks ago.

I watched on with delight as I saw her playing with her hands and feet, letting out garbles and laughs. I scooted off the couch and sat down next to her, pointing at her feet and hands. "Those are you feet and hands, Auden. Look, Mommy has got them, too."

Edward called breakfast was ready. I stood up, looking down at Auden who looked at me with her scorching eyes, the intensity filling them so much alike her father's. I smiled at her before pulling her up and taking her to the kitchen to join our husband and father for breakfast.

* * *

It wasn't that I was a morning person, or maybe I was…but I tented to have this urge I just couldn't suppress going out every morning and sitting on the balcony of our lodge and be productive. I didn't want to be productive, per se…I just felt the urge to take up my camera and capture the breathtaking beauty surrounding us or write down something that popped in my mind early morning.

So here I was. Sitting outside on a recliner, hauled up in a warm and comfy bed cover writing away word after word while listening to Enya on my iPod.

The intoxicating music fitted my surroundings perfectly and I felt myself falling in some sort of trance.

It must have been hours later when I vaguely heard the glass door slide open. Edward appeared at my side, simply handing me a cup of damping tea and placing a kiss on my temple – at which I leaned into him automatically, before he retreated back inside.

He knew me so well, respecting the space away from everyone and everything I needed sometimes.

At the time I rejoined my husband and daughter back in the warmth of the lodge, Edward was stringing on his guitar, with Auden watching on enthralled laying on the rug.

The remnants of both their breakfast stood on the coffee table.

"Did she eat it?" I asked it, motioning to Auden's bowl. We'd been experimenting with feeding our daughter solid food since a few weeks. Most times, she wouldn't think of eating it, still apprehensive.

"Yeah. I think she's getting used to it," Edward said, writing down I suspected were lyrics in his notebook.

I granted my daughter a kiss on her forehead and my husband a peck on the lips before making my way to the kitchen to fetch myself breakfast. Having finished, I went back to the living room and joined Edward on the couch.

He set down his guitar and pulled me to him hastily, getting me to let out a high-pitched squeal in surprise, nuzzling his nose against the skin of my neck.

"I love you, Isabella. God, do I love you," he whispered in between placing butterfly kisses all over my neck and jaw, sending shivers through my body.

"I love you, too," I whispered back, out of breath.

We spent the rest of the day living in our little cocoon that was our lodge, watching the 2006 BBC series of _Jane Eyre_ and two movies, writing or composing music and reveling in eachothers presence as well as that of our angel daughter while our favorite music played softly over the iPod dock.

Sometime during the day, I looked up from my notebook and turned my gaze to my husband, who was sitting next to me reading a new script he'd gotten sent his way, and then to my daughter who was playing with her set of plastic toys.

This was the good life.

* * *

Touching down at JFK after weeks of peaceful, undisturbed life of living one day at a time, was a bit of a culture shock.

Cameras started snapping away and people shouted the moment we walked through the arrival doors.

I instinctively shrunk back into Edward's embrace as he led us through the airport, trying to dodge the paparazzi as best as we could.

On our way home, we stopped at a deli for some food supplies to make for a light-weight lunch. Once in the comfort of our hose, we made sandwiches and drank orange juice before strutting upstairs, leaving all our luggage downstairs for the time being.

While I freshened up Auden, Edward went to her room to get her crib and carried it to our room. We didn't want to be that far away from our daughter just yet.

Once we were all settled under the covers, Edward scooted over to me and pulled me on top of him. He held my face between his hands and brought it down so he could kiss me.

We were interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone, and judging by the ring tone, I knew it was Alice calling me.

"Jesus, can we never escape the pixie?" Edward sighed.

"Seems not," I chuckled, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his lips before I scooted off the bed to grab my phone.

"Hello, my darling sister-in-law," I took up the phone, while eye-fucking said sister-in-law's brother.

Edward chuckled.

"Bella," Alice's voice sounded from the other end of the line.

It wasn't her normal voice that I heard. It was off. It sounded as if she was scared shitless.

This couldn't be good.

* * *

**IMPORTANT: As some of you might have noticed, I've begun to repost edited chapter of Dating Fame. Some chapters turned out to be quite different from the first version I posted. Now, I was wondering what you would think best: A. Continue reposting Dating Fame / B. Start up a new 'story' of Dating Fame so everyone can review the latest version of the chapters and let the old versions rest or delete them. Did I make myself clear or was this too wishy-washy?  
**

**play list:  
~Gypsy & The Cat – Gilgamesh  
~The Naked and Famous – Passive Me, Aggressive You  
~Secret Garden - Sleepsong  
~This Will Destroy You – They Move on Tracks of Never-Ending Light  
~Sleeping At Last – Dear True Love**

**Not much plot development, I know. I just really wanted Edward and Bella to have a peaceful and relaxing honeymoon. The story isn't over, yet. I'm thinking about 30 chapters, max.**

**By the by: Bat For Lashes album they're listening to in the car: Two Suns. Bella's favorite song is Daniel. In case you were wondering.**


	24. Simply Being

**Dating Fame  
****chapter 24: ****Simply Being**

**Once again, my sincere apologies for taking so, so long. Since school's not in my way anymore, I hope the large amount of free time I've left on my hands will enable me to get out chapter 25 soon. **

**As always, my thanks go out to my awesome beta _With The What Now_. I struggled enormously with the first part, and she really helped me out there. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.**

**IF ANYONE'S INTERESTED IN MAKING A BANNER FOR DATING FAME/OTHER STORIES OF MINE, LET ME KNOW! I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ONE.**

**Happy 4th of July to all of you who celebrate it!**

* * *

"_Bella."_

_No, no, no_. No. Please, this can't be happening. Not to Alice.

Something was seriously wrong.

The tone of her voice told me as much.

To make it worse, Alice was never one for the darker emotions. She was a bouncing ball of energy, always optimistic. Sure, she'd have panic attacks prior to a new fashion collection or something coming up, but Edward had enough dark emotions for the both of them already, she'd often stated.

I got off the bed and walked to the French doors opening to the balcony, breathing in a big gulp of fresh air. God, I needed that. It had felt like the walls were closing in on me.

"Alice, what's going on? What's wrong? Where are you?" I asked in a frenzied, panicked tone.

At my words and tone, the sexy grin on Edward's face fell immediately, his brow furrowing in worry instead. He shot up, etching off the bed and coming to stand next to me, his look demanding. "What's going on? What's the matter with my sister?"

I shook my head, letting him know I was as much in the dark as he, while I also tried to make out the words that were spilling from Alice's mouth in rapid speed.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. "Alice, honey, you've got to take a deep breath. I can't make out anything you say."

"Bella…my…my…fe-…," she hiccupped in between tears.

"What's with your fe-…, Alice?" I couldn't recognize my voice, high-pitched and panicked. I couldn't think straight anymore. Words, shushing sounds spilled from my lips.

"Bella, can you come over?" she pleaded.

"Put her on speaker," Edward said.

I mechanically did so.

"Alice, it's me Edward, where's Jasper?"

Her sniffing stopped and her voice sounded much clearer now. "Huh? What? Jasper? What does he has to do with anything?"

"We're coming to get you, Alice. Everything is going to be okay. Just hang in there, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Bella."

"Always."

In a hurry, we left our house, not bothering to put on more "appropriate for public outings" attires. It were just pajama bottoms, folks. Besides, our clothes didn't matter. What mattered was that Alice was in distress.

Auden had started crying the minute we whirled back into the room and grabbed all our essentials, clearly sensing the worry and angst. Myself, I felt as if I could almost touch it. It was so palpable, so suffocating.

Both Edward and I were on auto-pilot, he taking the wheel and speeding off to Manhattan, me trying to calm down Auden.

We found Alice sitting in the middle of the massive walk-in closet she shared with Jasper, surrounded by about a dozen of pairs of high heels scattered around on the floor.

She was cradling another pair to her chest, and from the look of it, I knew it were her most favorite pair of shoes.

Her black Christian Louboutin platform pumps, which she never went without. She said she could pair them with literally everything and always carried a pair with her when she traveled. You never knew, they could always come in handy were her words. She owned several pairs in the same model, but one was her favorite.

They had been a present of the master himself.

It wasn't a sight we had expected to run into. Although she was clearly upset, there was no sign of blood. No sign the baby might be in danger.

"Alice, what's…what are you doing? What's going on? We thought something was wrong with the baby," I asked, stunned beyond explanation.

Alice seemed as stunned by my question as I was by her condition. "_The baby_? No, nothing is wrong with the baby, why would there be?"

Next to me, Edward lost it. "What the heck, Alice? Do you have any idea, _any idea _what we've been going through ever since you called us?"

She didn't get where her brother's reaction was coming from, and gave him her famous glare. "I called _Bella_, not _you_."

"That doesn't matter, Alice. That's not what I'm talking about. You were panicking, crying, muttering. We assumed something was seriously wrong, with the baby," he explained through gritted teeth, his patience running thin.

"But something _is_ seriously wrong!" Alice caught on the first part of the last sentence.

"Oh, that shows," Edward retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Alice rolled her eyes, clearly not having the patience either to elaborate the situation to her sibling. "Argh, you won't understand. You're a guy. That's why I called Bella, not you or the house phone."

"Well, what is so seriously wrong, then?"

I sensed now was the time for me to step in and put a hold to their bickering before it would get out of hand. "Okay, Edward, why don't you go put on some tea or something," I addressed my husband, placing my hand on his arm and pulling him away from his sister.

"Bella, you can't be serious! What Alice put us through for _nothing_, I'm so not okay with that," he whispered-yelled.

"I understand, honey, but let me go talk with Alice and see what's really the matter. Meanwhile, you need to stay calm. It won't do any good if you let your temper get the better of you. It's not good for Alice's baby, it's not good for yourself and it's scaring Auden."

I looked down at Auden, who was holding onto me with her dear life, clearly having been affected by what just happened.

That seemed to calm him at least a little. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone off like that," he said, his voice a whole lot softer, as he rested his forehead against mine.

"It's okay, baby. I'm just as flabbergasted as you. Now, why don't you take Auden as I go and talk to your sister?"

"Okay," he nodded, pulling back so he could take over our daughter. "I'm sorry if I scared you, baby girl. It was never, ever my intention," he told her, kissing her head softly.

As he made his way to the kitchen, I went back into Alice and Jasper's bedroom.

Alice, too, seemed to have calmed down more, looking down at the floor in remorse.

"I'm sorry for maybe having given you the wrong idea. I never, ever wanted you to think there was something wrong with the baby," she apologized.

Although my first reaction had been to lash out at her as well, I understood where she was coming from. Besides, I knew from first-hand experience how seemingly small and insignificant things could turn out to be really big when being pregnant. Any small thing could get me in tears.

"It's just that…I don't fit into my favorite pair of shoes anymore. I know it sounds really shallow, but these shoes are my _life_, Bella. They're my confident-shoes. Nothing makes me feel better than putting these shoes on, well, except, for Jasper, but I'm sure you don't want to hear about all the ways Jazz can make me feel better."

Yeah, so do not want to picture _that_.

"And to top it all, my doctor told me I can't wear heels anymore, at all. Not until after my pregnancy. What am I gonna do, Bella? You know my credo. A day without heels, is a day lost living," she sniffled.

"Honey, it's not as if the world's gonna end. Isn't your baby's health more important than wearing heels? I know how much you love wearing them, how they compensate your unfortunate short height, how much confidence they give you, but in just a couple of months, you can wear them again. Besides, nobody cares about you not wearing heels. You're pregnant, for Christ's sake!" I tried to reassure her.

She had to think about my words for a moment, before she looked up and smiled, whipping away her tears. "You're right, Bella. God, I'm being a total dramatic, right?"

"You're being pregnant, Alice. It's only normal."

"Edward isn't really that mad at me, I hope." She bit her lip nervously, meaning she must be really insecure about it. Alice never bit her lip.

"No, he's just been really scared. He acted out of fear."

She let out a deep breath, relieved. "Good."

"You're in for some tea?"

"Hell yeah."

I helped her up from the floor and put away all of her heels in their rightful spots before we went to join Edward and Auden.

He was leaning against the glass wall looking across Central Park with Auden on his arm while typing on his phone, looking up as we entered the room.

Before he could open his mouth, Alice walked to him and threw her arms around him. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"You didn't…," he started, but his sister was quick to cut him off.

"Oh, shut up, Edward. Don't lie to me."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "That's my sister."

"Yeah, that's me. Now, come and let's have some tea."

"Let's."

When Jasper came home from work, we were just laying the finishing touches to dinner. We as in Edward and I. Alice couldn't cook for shit.

Okay, she could make delicious pasta and pancakes, but as for the rest, she was too lazy to really put effort into it.

"Hey, I will take up the important and responsible task of looking after Auden while you cook dinner," she'd excused herself from any kitchen duties.

Of course, Jasper heard all about the near heart-attack his significant other had caused us, all because of her mini-breakdown over her precious heels.

"Oh, Al," he chuckled, drawing her closer to him so he could place a peck on the tip of her nose.

"Don't make fun of me, Jazz. It really is not funny. I already look like a freaking whale and now my legs will only look shorter!" she pouted.

"Al, you're beautiful. Truly beautiful. Who gives a damn about how short or long your legs look? I don't. You're carrying a _baby_, _my_ baby. That's all that matters," he told her seriously.

That was all that mattered indeed.

* * *

Today, Edward and I would get to see the final version of _Simply Being_, the film he shot in Toronto last summer.

The story centered around a young married couple, Raphael "Ravi" and Annie, with Edward playing Ravi, a History graduate, and up-and-coming actress Olivia Colton his stylist wife Annie. The couple, in their early twenties, get to face an unexpected pregnancy. Although it's a shock, they embrace it. Unlike their families and friends, who see it as a waste and mistake.

Coincidentally, shortly after Edward wrapped the movie, we got to deal with a similar scenario ourselves. A young couple facing an unexpected pregnancy, under rather extraordinary circumstances. Luckily for us, it had nothing to do with the lack of support from our family and friends. Instead, we had to deal with being of much interest to the media.

The script had been truly great, as had been the cast and crew. From what I'd seen while visiting Edward on set for two weeks, it was a beautiful film. I was really excited to see the final cut.

While Edward tended to Auden, I put on a pair of comfy black skinny jeans, white tank, cardigan and black ballet flats along with my black Burberry trench.

My husband and daughter had already started on their breakfast as I walked into the kitchen, Auden's face scrunched up as she was being fed baby formula.

She was going to be a picky eater alright, that was for sure.

Edward looked his ever-handsome self in a button down, dark faded jeans and Docs. Our angel was wearing a long-sleeved basic white tee with a light brown woolen cardigan on top and black leggings.

We finished breakfast together, put away our dishes and started to our garage. I put Auden in her baby car seat, giving her a lingering kiss on her forehead while stroking her head before retreating from the back seat. Edward, meanwhile, put the car in gear and picked out a CD to play over the car stereo.

After I'd hopped onto the passenger seat, Edward took me aback by moving across the console at high speed and taking my face in his large hands, pulling it close to his to capture my lips in a heated kiss.

"I love you," he whispered hoarsely, pulling back slightly, his lips still skimming over my face. "I love you so much. Thank you for being mine."

He looked into my eyes intensely, his hands both caressing and cupping my face as if he was holding what was most dear to him in between.

God, he made me feel so loved, so treasured, so admired. So strong.

It was a feeling I never wanted to let go of, to never turn my back to. I wasn't ever intending to.

I placed my hands over his, smiling up at him. "I love you, too."

There was nothing else to say.

A single paparazzo was waiting for us across the street, starting to take pictures the moment Edward drove the car out of our garage.

Once more, I was lucky we had tainted windows.

Kings of Leon was playing over the sound system as we headed to Manhattan, washing away all irritation towards the paparazzi and easing the nerves about getting to see his film for the first time.

Kings of Leon were one of the first things Edward and I bonded over. They were the first band that completely enamored the both of us.

Honor Rose had offered to look after Auden so we could attend the screening. She didn't want to see the film before its premiere, and therefore wouldn't join us.

We had a key for her apartment, so we didn't need to be buzzed up and could just walk in, and as we stepped into her living space, we were welcomed by the scent of chocolate cake.

"Oh, hey guys. I was putting the finishing touch to this cake. You want some, or is this is a kiss and ride kind of moment?" she greeted us as we walked into the kitchen.

Edward chuckled at his youngest sister's remark, putting down Auden's bag on a barstool before giving her a kiss on her cheek in greeting. "You doing okay?" he said in a low voice.

After each downfall Honor Rose had gone through, he always was the ever-worrying big brother, always extra on his guard. Afraid that she might break down again at the snap of a finger. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, that he thought her weak, it was just that he'd seen her at her worst and wanted to be there for her when it would happen again. He always wanted to make sure she was doing okay.

Honor Rose bumped her shoulder against his. "Yeah, why wouldn't I? You worry too much, Edward. Really."

He shrugged his shoulders in a casual move, but the depth of his remark hadn't left his eyes. "It's what big brothers do, Hon."

"Sure thing," she smiled at him, giving him a peck on the cheek in return before making her way over to me and Auden.

"Hey, Bella. Total-fucking-ly loving your outfit. Burberry trench, right?"

"Hey, Honor. Thanks, and yes."

"I knew it. Burberry is the shiz."

Honor Rose was twenty-one, but she so often reminded me of the fool-mouthed, wise for her age, very tall for her age thirteen-year-old littlest sister of my crush. The one who hardly ever said anything, who observed. She'd matured only more over the years, she'd become an adult. But deep down there, she still possessed the spirit of that girl. Maybe because of the fact she would always remain the baby of her family, made her more immature at times.

I wasn't the only who noticed. From the corner of my eye I saw Edward rolling his eyes.

Honor didn't see, as she was now too preoccupied doting over Auden.

She didn't let us go before having forced a piece of the chocolate cake down our throat.

"So, did I do well? I believe I forgot to add something, but to me it tastes mighty fine. Maybe that's just because I love everything with chocolate in it no matter what," she mused.

"Hon, this is fucking delicious, man," Edward cut her off.

"Absolutely," I added.

"Really? I could wrap up the leftovers, and you could take it home, if you want?"

Having made sure Auden was settled and content, so we could leave with a reassured mind, we made our way to the Tribeca Grand, where they'd booked one of the screening rooms for the viewing.

"Are you nervous?" I asked Edward as he parked our car into a parking space below the hotel.

"A little. I'm curious to what they've done with it. I haven't seen much footage, so I don't really know what to expect. I know it's gonna be good, but it's still a little nerve-wrecking."

"I'm sure it's gonna be great. And no matter what, know that I'll always be proud of you."

He leaned over the console and kissed me passionately, holding my face in between his hands. "Thank you."

As soon as we'd stepped out, we were approached by a production assistant who leaded the way to the screening room.

We said our hellos to members of the crew and cast, and Edward introduced me to the director, producer, Olivia and the actors he'd worked with most. I'd met them all before, but it had been over a year since.

We were soon called to get to our seats as the film was about the start.

It opened with beautiful shots of Toronto in the summer, Edward-as-Ravi to be heard as a voice-over.

The moment Edward made his first appearance shortly after, I couldn't suppress a small squeal boiling up my threat.

_My man._

At one moment, when Ravi first holds his newborn son, a song started playing over the scene.

The song was completely new to me, but the voice… the voice I knew so very well, a singing voice I was lucky enough to get to hear very often.

Confused, I tore my eyes away from the screen and the adorable scene, and glanced at Edward, nudging him. "Is that…is that _you_ singing?" I whispered.

He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah."

"I didn't know you wrote something for the film."

He leaned in so he could speak more quietly. "I didn't. I wrote this song days after Auden's birth, for my two girls. For her, for you. They asked my advice for the soundtrack, and somehow, got light of the songs I'd written about fatherhood. They weren't to be stopped in getting two of them on the soundtrack," he explained, shaking his head at the end.

The tears having welled up in my eyes made it almost impossible to reply. Almost. "It's beautiful, honey. It fits the scene so beautifully."

"Well, it's for you, baby. I wrote it for you. The songs aren't something I want to release publicly, but I made you a little something, for your birthday. Just wait and see."

I smiled, cuddling closer to my husband, and laid my head to rest on his shoulder as we returned our attention back to the screen.

Before I knew it, the film came to an end.

I was blown away. Mesmerized. Rocked off my socks. I'd laughed, cried, smiled.

I'd always known what a great story _Simply Being_ was, I'd read the script, I'd seen Edward get into character, I'd seen some of the scenes being shot, but never did I expect it to be so… _real_.

The film was so genuine and honest, realistic. Funny, heartbreaking, with raw emotions as well as fluffy, lovey dovey talk.

_And boy_, Edward did such a fantastic job, everyone did. I really considered this one of his best. It was such a different part than anything he'd done before. This role enabled him to show off a different side of him as an actor, another trick he had up his sleeve.

"I'm so incredibly proud of you, baby. You did a phenomenal job," I said to him as the film ended, cradling his face to mine so I could kiss the hell out of him, trying to pour out the love and pride I felt that I couldn't express by using words.

Pulling away from me, he smiled at me shyly. "Thank you."

We stayed put until the last of the credits ended, as we always did. It was another thing we'd always had in common. Ever since we both had been young, we needed to watch the credits. Also because we'd wanted to know which songs they used in the film.

I clapped in my hands and cheered when Edward's songs, titled _A Lullaby For Her and Her_ and _A New Heart_, appeared on the screen. It made me so proud to read the words 'Written, Composed and Performed by Edward Cullen'.

After having something to drink with everyone present, Edward and I decided to go out on a little shopping spree before heading over to Honor Rose's East Village apartment to pick up Auden.

One of the hotel's receptionists put us to a halt as we were about to exit the hotel, informing us that we were waited on by a pack of paparazzi.

We nodded in thanks and headed out.

True to his word, the moment we emerged into clear view, we were immediately taken under attack by their camera flashes and shouts. They kept their distance, as the sidewalk was crowded.

I held onto Edward's hand with both my own while we made our way to a toys store down the street. We also stopped by at an art supplies store, and I picked up new rolls of film for the vintage camera I used besides my Canon.

Where some might spent hundreds, thousands of dollars on clothing or cosmetics for themselves, we couldn't hold back buying stuff for our daughter.

We managed to keep ourselves in check, but ended up with three large filled bags full of toys, art supplies and clothes anyway.

For Auden, we bought two new stuffed animals, which were just too adorable we couldn't resist. We also got her several new clothes at Bonpoint, one of our favorite boutiques to score our girl new clothes.

Not all we bought was for our daughter. Since Tristan's birthday was coming up in a few weeks, we got him something as well. Then there was of course the upcoming arrival of mini Whitlock/Cullen. Alice was planning a gigantic baby shower and had composed an enormous wish list.

After having shopped for children supplies, we walked into a clothing store to get me some new pairs of jeans.

Edward patiently took a seat opposite my changing room while I tried on the several models. Although he said I would look beautiful in anything, he really gave his opinion on each and every one of them, taking the time to do so.

On our way back to Honor Rose's apartment, we also picked up some delicious sweats to go with the tea.

Auden's face lit up as she looked up to see us walking into Honor's living room and held out her arms in the air for one of us to pick her up.

I leaned down and enclosed my little girl in my arms. "Hey sweetheart," I smiled at her, peppering her face with soft pecks. "Mommy missed you."

"Auden missed you, too. She kept staring at the pictures with you on them on the coffee table, with tear-filled eyes and pouting lips," Honor Rose said, walking into the room with a tray of mugs with hot damping tea.

"Oh honey, I love you so much," I cooed to her. "Daddy and Mommy are here now. We will always come back to you. Always."

We had our tea and sweets while seated down on the rug, Auden sitting in between my legs playing with her new stuffed cheetah animal.

"So, I see you made good use of the rest of your day," Honor Rose commented on the shopping bags in the hallway.

"We just couldn't stop ourselves. Busy times are ahead for the both of us, so we really wanted to take this opportunity to get some shopping out of the way," I said.

As Edward joined Honor Rose in the kitchen to make dinner, I stayed behind in the living room, holding Auden in my arms as I danced to the music softly playing over the sound system.

God, how much I loved my daughter. My little girl, my angel. So beautiful, so precious, so full of love and light.

* * *

Prior to its release date, _Simply Being_ got an out-of-competition spot onto Venice Film Festival and in the official selection of the Toronto International Film Festival, with a premiere and press conference on both festivals.

Edward attended both Venice and Toronto. I didn't accompany him as I had my book to work on and wanted to have some peace for Auden.

That didn't stop me from checking out the footage of the photo call, press conference and premiere my very handsome husband attended, though.

_Boy_, did he clean up well.

He looked more rested, more cheerful than I'd seen him acting in public in a long time. He sported a casual look to the photo call and press conference, wearing his favorite leather jacket, a basic tee, dark jeans and his Adidas Sambas.

In nearly all shots, he sported that crooked smile of his, which reached his eyes as well, and he cracked a lot of jokes during the press conference.

I'd to laugh out loud when they asked him what the ring around his left ring finger was. Yes, it was his first public appearance since the wedding, but wasn't it obvious?

He seemed to be perplexed by the question as well. "This? Oh, this is my wedding band. Yeah, I got married a couple of weeks back. You didn't know? I'm sure it was all over the news."

At the premiere later on the day, he dazzled in a dark green suit that illuminated his Emerald green eyes and copper locks so well.

I might have drooled upon the sight. And sent him a text he needed to come home to me right the fuck now, wearing that fabulous suit of his.

He responded that he would see what he could do and would call in the help of Alice to secure he would get to keep the suit, for my benefit.

Don't ask me why, but I also checked in on some fansites of his. Gathering from the comments, I wasn't the only one who was having problems with their concentration upon the sight of him. Some fans wrote '_his wife is one lucky bitch to have him._'

I was one lucky bitch alright, and he was all mine.

There were tons of hateful comments concerning my being, and Edward's marriage to me, but there were also those who stated '_I have to admit I've always been jealous of Bella, even more so when she got pregnant with his child, and he actually married her. But you can't deny how happy she makes him. Edward seems much happier now than ever before. The wedding and honeymoon really did him good. His wife and his daughter give him so much happiness. __I wish them all the best, which they deserve.' _

The comment made me smile, and grateful for the fact Edward also had fans who truly cared about him and his wellbeing, his happiness, who weren't just after him for his looks and his body.

Luckily, his trip to Venice took not even two full days. He departed off to Italy in the morning, and came back in the late evening of the next day.

I would have picked him up from the airport after his return myself, weren't it that his flight arrived in New York at an ungodly hour. I wouldn't have been able to find a babysitter, and I didn't want to wake Auden up either. We both needed our sleep.

Nonetheless, I awoke from my dreams the moment the bed dipped under my husband's weight.

I turned on my side so I faced him, a smile playing on my lips upon seeing him trying not to make any sound.

"Hey baby," I whispered, hugging him close to me once he was settled.

His eyes widened in surprise, not having expected me to be awake, but he soon came to his sense and returned the hug. "Hey you."

"How was it? How did it go?"

"It was great. The first reactions are good. I forgot how beautiful Venice actually is. It's been ages since I last went there. And it was cool of Dad and Em to come with, it was great having family with me."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You did so well. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"Don't be. You've got your own work to focus on, you needed to be here. You thought of Auden first, she needed that calmness."

"She missed you. She's such a Daddy's little girl."

"God, it's crazy how much I missed her, too. I was away for not even two days, and I already went sick from worry. I don't want to miss out on her life, not when I can help it. I went to check on her the moment I came home. Seeing her, in a deep sleep, this sense of calmness and peace rushed through me."

I pulled away from his embrace so I could kiss his lips tenderly. "I love you."

The following morning, I objected Edward to be the one to fetch Auden. I would do so.

I took the time making my way to her room after being alerted by her awakening hearing her little garbles through the baby monitor.

At just the sight of my daughter, a smile lit up my face.

"Hey sweetheart, good morning," I greeted her, lifting her up and carrying her to our room.

"Look who came home last night." I turned her in my arms so she was facing the bed and could see her father was in it.

Her reaction was heartwarmingly adorable, and I wished I'd had my camera within reach.

She looked between him and me, a deep frown appearing on her face, as if she couldn't quite believe her Daddy was really there.

"Hey Auden Everly," he chuckled.

It was as if hearing his voice broke a spell. Her face lit up and she flashed a sort of smile, making chirping sounds.

We joined her in laughter, our hearts warmed by the amazing little human being that was our daughter, our little radiant sunshine.

Edward was to depart to Toronto just a couple of days later, so we made optimal use of the time we had. We took Auden to a local playground once, went to do groceries a few times a week, but mainly stayed at the house.

I worked on my book deal, Edward on his upcoming films. He had three new projects lined up, one of which was to go into production anytime soon.

It was a complex family drama to be shot on location in Brooklyn. Edward would play the fourth of seven children of a family of whom the father had recently and unexpectedly committed suicide.

The story was very intriguing.

A couple of days later, while Edward was in Toronto promoting _Simply Being_, I came across an excerpt of this interview with him that would appear in an issue of a film magazine close to the film's release date, of which he would also be on the cover.

**Edward Cullen is Simply Being**

_The change in 25-year-old Edward Cullen by fatherhood is clear, even to one who doesn't know him, aside from the occasional interview._

"_I _have_ changed," he says in regards to the birth of his daughter, Auden Everly, this April. "She's my number one priority. Her arrival has put everything in perspective. Having become a father has been a strangely calming experience."_

_His new film, _**Simply Being**_, comes awfully close to the past year of Edward's own life. A young couple dealing with an unexpected pregnancy, but embracing it wholesomely._

"_It's funny," he remarks, " 'cos I filmed _**Simply Being**_ last summer, wrapping it up just before Bella[Bella Swan, whom he tied the knot with during an intimate ceremony in August taking place in London] became pregnant."_

**Simply Being**_ is a very intimate film, with soft lighting and intoxicating piano music. Most of all, with heartfelt, genuine and realistic performances. _

_Edward plays Raphael "Ravi", a twenty-something History graduate, married to stylist Annie, portrayed by actress Olivia Colton._

_They're backed up by a colorful range of people playing their family and friends who all have their own opinion on their early marriage and unexpected pregnancy - mostly _negative_ opinions._

_Luckily, that's not something Cullen had to deal with himself. "I'm very lucky to have a supporting family, who always have my back." _

Reading the interview made me miss him even more, and I dialed his cell, hoping he wasn't busy at the moment.

"Hey sweetheart," he picked up.

"Hi. I miss you."

"I miss you, too. Lots and lots."

There was a noise in the background, sounding like a squeal of some sort.

"Honor Rose, take it down a notch, will you? I'm on the phone here," Edward said away from the phone.

"Edward, don't pull me out of my concentration, dammit!" I heard her say. "Die, you motherfuckers! Burn in hell!"

"Sorry about that. Hon brought along her Playstation kit, she's playing Call of Duty now, and she's really competitive."

"How's Toronto treating you?"

"Toronto is treating me just fine. We should go here again soon. It's such a cool town. The festival is great, the press conference was nice alright. Accompanied Honor Rose to a screening of that movie she's in that's also part of the festival."

"The one wherein she plays a blind girl?"

"That one exactly."

Honor Rose had mentioned that film and her part occasionally, and from what I gathered it was a beautiful story. You saw and experienced the world through her eyes, how she imagined it to be.

"Oh my God, how was it? I've been so curious about it. Does it have a US release date already?"

"Phenomenal, of course. I haven't seen anything like it, ever. The whole room was quiet, nobody made a sound. Until the end, that is, when they all erupted in cheers and applause." Edward then pulled back to ask something to Honor. "According to Honor, the US release date is October 10."

While I didn't go with him to Venice and Toronto, I _did_, however, accompany Edward to the US premiere held in New York City. I was grateful the premiere was held in New York, as that meant we didn't have to travel and it was just like a night out on the town.

Edward looked dapper and absolutely edible in a dark blue suit which brought out his bronze-copper hair amazingly.

I had the greatest difficulty keeping my hands to myself. Not funny.

Myself, I wore a beautiful dress by Alexander McQueen from the Spring '10 collection.

As soon as Edward stepped out of the car, the cameras started flashing at high speed and the screams intensified by a tenfold.

My husband held out his hand for me to take and pulled me up out of the car. "You ready to get this over with, baby?" he asked me, gazing into my eyes intensely.

"With you, always," I smiled up at him, and had to stand on my tiptoes even with five inch heels on to be able to kiss him. "I love you, baby."

"Love you, too, my wife. Always."

We met up with Edward's entourage at the start of the red carpet. As his publicist, Zafrina ensured every interviewer and photographer were given the same amount of time and that people didn't ask him unwanted questions. Alistair would accompany her. Dusty didn't have anything to do with the whole media circus, but came to all of his premieres anyway.

"I received a new job offer for you. You know with whom you would share the screen?" Dusty asked Edward as he was about to make his appearance.

He halted in his steps, leaning into Dusty so he could hear her better, pulling me back so I was flush against his side at the same time. "No."

"Guess." She wiggled her eyebrows.

Then it seemed to dawn on him who exactly she meant. "_No fucking way_!"

I didn't have a clue who they meant. They must have been talking about people Edward really wanted to work with, because his face was currently lit up like crazy.

Dusty laughed at his reaction. "Yes. The producer of one of his latest projects called. The director really wants you to join the cast."

"Holy shit. That's amazing news," he beamed, but then turned serious. "Won't it conflict with my other films?"

"I already checked, and you needn't worry. It won't."

"What's going on, honey?"

"Dusty just told me I'm asked for a role in a film alongside one of my favorite actors of all time."

Oh my God! No shit. He had to be the coolest, most honest and awesome actor currently alive. Our household was seriously obsessed with him, because of his great acting chops. He wasn't bad to look at either, in my opinion. Along with me millions of women. "With _him_? No way."

"Yes way."

I was sporting a full-on beam now, too, and locked my arms around his neck in a hug. "Congratulations, baby! I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you."

"You won't mind me coming to visit you on set every day, do you? He's so yummy," I said as I pulled back.

His crooked grin was immediately exchanged for a deathly frown. "Isabella."

"What? It's true. There's hardly a woman who doesn't think so. Oh my God! I actually get to meet him! Not only is he really, really yummy, but he recently also played one of my favorite literary characters in an adaption of my favorite book ever!"

"Isabella, please, not only are we at a public event, but also, for your information, you're really hurting my ego here right now."

"Oh, c'mon, your ego gets enough boasting already. All these people here? They scream for _you_, they want something from _you_. No one else but _you_."

"I don't care about _them_. I only care about _you_."

Alistair broke us out of our battering, announcing it was time. "Edward, you're up."

I never left his side, except for when they needed him to do a couple of solo and cast shots. I held onto his hand as he patiently took the time for interviews.

"What made you say yes to this film?" someone asked.

"The genuine, realistic tone of the story. The script was just brilliant, the dialogues and the characters so well written. The story is just so real."

"Do you appreciate the film more now you've gone through a similar situation?"

Edward cast a sideway look at me, giving me a dazzling smile and a quick peck on the lips before answering the question. "Most definitely," he told the interviewer, giving my hand a soft squeeze. "A pregnancy is a very intense experience. It taught me so much about myself, about this beautiful lady standing next to me," he looked at me again, "and about life in general."

"How's your little girl? How's Auden?"

At the mentioning of our daughter, we both smiled widely. "How's Auden, baby?" he asked me.

"Auden is doing amazing," I said, if not a little shy to speak up to all these cameras and people.

"Our beautiful little angel is doing amazing, indeed. She's growing really fast. Fatherhood is the most awesome, most calming thing ever. I fall even more in love with my daughter every time I see her."

A couple of steps to the left, another interviewer. Another set of questions, most of them the same.

"Now, do we have it correct you can be heard on the film's soundtrack?"

"That's correct. It wasn't my intention at all to end up on the soundtrack, though."

"How did it come to pass then?"

"They started on the soundtrack shortly after our daughter was born, and asked my opinion. Did I have any songs I found fitting for the situation these characters found themselves in, for certain scenes? My manager then sold me out and told them I'd written several songs regarding the pregnancy, the birth and being a father to my daughter. They begged me to let them hear, and decided to pick two of them to use on the soundtrack."

Next. More steps to the left, edging closer to the entrance to the movie theatre.

"Has your wife seen the film already? She didn't accompany you to Venice and Toronto."

"Isabella has seen it. We saw it at a private screening a couple of weeks prior."

The interviewer now turned to me. "And what did you think of it, Bella?"

I blushed, shy from all the attention.

Edward gave my hand an encouraging squeeze.

"I loved it. I agree with Edward, it's such a genuine and heartfelt film. It's _real_. I loved it already when he gave me the script to read, when I saw several scenes. But now, we've gone through a pregnancy and arrival of our child ourselves, my sympathy, my love for this film has only grown."

We skipped out of the film about ten minutes in and spent the remainder of the film at the bar.

Edward helped me change back into my own clothes and put everything back the way it should be. He even gave me a foot massage.

As the film had ended, we were driven to the location of the after-party, held at a rooftop penthouse in Central Manhattan.

Once inside, Edward was whisked away by all sorts of people, producers, co-stars, the director, other actors, friends, celebrities, random people.

I talked for a bit with Honor Rose, who looked fabulous in a blazer, bustier and leather pants paired with worn-off trainers, before emerging onto the balcony and busying myself by taking my camera out and taking shots of the buzzing city beneath me.

After a little while, I was joined by Dusty and we caught up about our lives. We talked motherhood, Edward, his new roles, his schedule for the remainder of the year.

"Hey, there you are. I wondered where you'd gone." Edward passed through the sliding doors and joined us against the railing.

"You feeling okay, baby?" He asked while he cuddled me close and nuzzled my hair.

"Yep."

"Wanna get out of here?"

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed it. Would love to hear your thoughts. **


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